Wow, it's been a long time since I posted anything here. Well, welcome to my story. If you've read Tuna Fish Tacos (which I started almost three years ago, can you believe that?) this should be a nice follow-up. If you haven't, I seriously recommend you go and read that first, because there is a whole lot of context you'll miss out on if you don't.

I hope you all enjoy. :)

Once in a Lifetime

By Yonz D. Pradlum

"Jaaaade!" Tori West whined to her wife.

"No, Tori. Maybe later. I'm busy."

"Come oooon."

"No. I need to finish this project by Sunday night or I'm boned."

"You'll have all night tomorrow. I'm horny nooooow."

Jade West, a 22-year-old future filmmaker in her final year at UCLA, looked up at her wife.

"Tori, I love you, but you annoy the shit out of me sometimes. Why the hell did I marry you again?"

"Because I'm just so irresistibly sexy." To accentuate her point, the latina puffed her chest and butt out and did a sexy little dance to try and get the goth's attention.

"Nah, that can't be it." Said Jade with a smirk.

"You bitch!" the brunette exclaimed. She slapped her wife on the shoulder, though she was still smiling.

Jade quietly chuckled but said nothing.

"Come oooon." Tori whined again. "Just fuck me!"

While Jade was thrown for a second, as she found it quite sexy when her wife swore, she was ultimately not shaken.

"No, Tori. I have to get this done. We can fool around later."

"Jade, you and I both know that by the time you decide that you've done all you can tonight, it'll be four in the morning and I'll have been asleep for five hours."

"Look, Tori, I have to get this done. If I don't, I'll run the risk of failing this class, which I need to graduate, mind you, and I really don't want to have to go here for a whole extra semester when I could be out working on something that I actually care about."

"Tomorrow isn't even Sunday, it's Friday! You don't even have a lot to do tomorrow, class doesn't start until 10 and you're done by 12. You have all day tomorrow, all day Saturday, and almost all of Sunday to do it. Now shut up and fuck me!"

While Jade's defenses were being tested, Tori could not quite break through them. And though Jade insisted that she needed to get the project done, that wasn't the case. Jade was nothing if not the perfectionist when it came to her short films, as was this project. And she certainly didn't run the risk of failing if she didn't turn the project in on time, as she was at a 103% in that class and was the professor's very favorite student.

"I have to get it done, Tori, and it has to be done just right."

"Fine." Huffed Tori, who appeared to be storming off.

"Oh, hey, what's this?" Jade glanced over at Tori through her peripheral vision to see the latina bent over examining something. Tori was wearing a pair of very tight, very form-fitting yoga pants, which she had recently taken a liking to. Jade bit her lower lip and admired her wife's (in her opinion) fine, fine ass.

Tori smirked as she saw her wife's reaction in the sliding door that led out onto their balcony. They were in their very small one-bedroom apartment just off-campus and it was quite dark out.

As Tori stood back up and turned around holding the mystery object, Jade turned back to her project and pretended that she hadn't been checking out the latina.

"Well would you look at that," said Tori. "A dildo!" And indeed, in her hand, the half-Puerto Rican girl was holding an eight-inch pink cylindrical dildo that had clearly seen quite a bit of use.

"So it is."

"Maybe this will change your mind?"

"I've gotta work, Tori."

Tori, while annoyed at her wife's refusal to ahem, do the nasty, was not deterred. She waltzed over to the other girl, who was sitting at the computer in their very small living room, and put her arms around the seated girl's neck.

"Come on Jade. If you don't wanna do it, I'm gonna have to spend some time with Mr. Pink all alone."

"Then go do it, I have to work. Also, don't call that thing Mr. Pink. It makes me think of Steve Buscemi, and that's the very last person I want to think about in regards to anything sexy."

"Don't be gross Jade." Tori leaned in close to Jade's ear and said in a sexy whisper, "Or maybe do."

Jade gave a short laugh, but didn't stop working.

"Jaaade…" Tori held the dildo up to her face and licked down the full length of the shaft. Jade thought this was undeniably sexy, and though she tried not to, she couldn't help but bite her lower lip again.

"You like that don't you?"

"I need to finish this."

Tori licked the goth girl's ear. "Come on, you know you want to."

Jade let out an involuntary moan.

"Ooh… am I exciting you?"

Jade hesitated for another moment. "Fuck it." She mumbled before pouncing on Tori and pinning her to the couch while making out.

Their tongues met. Even after five months of marriage and a nearly four year relationship before that, the sexual chemistry between the two girls was impeccable. The tongues wrestled for dominance, and Jade's won (it usually did, unless Tori really wanted to dominate Jade).

Their kiss deepened. Tori cupped one of Jade's excellent D-cup boobs with one hand and squeezed her ass with the other. The goth continued to pin her wife to the couch, intending to make an example of her when suddenly –


Jade, whose eyes were closed, jolted upright, completely surprised by her ringtone.

Tori was confused. "Why is your ringtone Smash Mouth? And why is it so loud?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you." Replied Jade.


The goth girl looked at her phone's screen to see who was calling her. "It's Sinjin. Well, I guess I should answer it, since all of that was completely ruined."

She answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Jade! How's my favorite sister-in-law?"

"I'm not your sister-in-law, I'm married to your sister-in-law."

"Whatever. Anyways, I was calling to let you know about a major opportunity I've got for you."

Jade was intrigued. "Go on…"

"So, you've been keeping up with Clancy and Amanda, yeah?"


"Well, they have an opportunity for you, but I asked if I could be the one to tell you."

Had Jade been sitting down, she would have been on the edge of her seat. Amanda Hartford and Clancy Donovan were two of her heroes, as they'd been the creative minds behind The Scissoring, Jade's favorite movie. The previous August, Sinjin had introduced them to Jade at her and Tori's wedding. Since then, they'd kept in contact over Skype.

"So what is it?"

"Recently, Amanda and Clancy reached a deal with Warren Bros. to produce an official remake of The Scissoring. Right now, they're still working out the details of the contract, but it sounds like they're going to get complete or mostly complete creative control over the writing, and the studio is going to bring in a newer director that they recently hired. What they'd like to know from you is if you'd like to help them write the screenplay and then come on the project as a producer."

Jade's draw actually dropped. She couldn't believe it! She'd never been involved with a movie that wasn't a school project or a personal one, and she had certainly never been involved with a studio as big and prestigious as Warren Bros. Plus, she was going to get to work with her heroes on a remake of her favorite movie. It was a dream come true.

"…Jade? You there?"

"Y-yeah. Yeah. Go ahead and tell them that I'm in."

"Oh, I just wanted to let you know in the first place cause I figured the reaction would be pretty funny. You can just call one of them yourself and let them know."

"Yeah, okay. I'll do that."

"Cool. See you later."

"Yeah. Thanks, Sinjin."

Jade hung up the phone. Tori, who had been mindlessly playing with the dildo still in her hand looked up. "What was that about?"

"I, uh, I'm gonna get to work on the official remake of The Scissoring with Amanda Hartford and Clancy Donovan."

"Wait, really?"

"Y-yeah." Jade was shaking with excitement now that she'd been able to mentally process what had just transpired.

"Oh my god, Jade, that's amazing!" Tori beamed.

The goth girl smiled back at her wife. "Yeah. I need to get on top of this as soon as possible. I'm gonna call one of them right now." She made her way into their bedroom to make the call.

Tori stared dejectedly down at the dildo (which she had decided she really was going to call "Mr. Pink").

"All right ramblers, let's get rambling."

What did you guys think? Let me know in a review! Besides that, make sure to follow and favorite if you liked it. I'm looking forward to getting back into writing and I hope this story is better than it's predecessor.

Until next time,