Disclaimer: Gravitation is not mine. And I got the title from a song by Trademark.

Warning : Oh you know. Pairings : Oh you know this one too. A/N : I wrote this about a year ago. Takes place after episode 8, I think. My first fic which I believe contains OOC-ness. Many thanks to my beta-reader Nixwinter and David-Eric, and to No.9 and Shuichi-chan for bugging me to post my fic soon. Any mistakes that you might find wasn't caused by my beta-readers, but it's by my own stupidity. Oh, and English isn't my first language either. I bet you all can tell now.

'.'=thoughts "."=speechs





A "Gravitation" Fanfiction



AMAZED

Part I





Yuki

I light up my cigarette for the umpteenth time, it's all that I've been doing for the past 3 hours. Inhaling nicotine and filling my lungs with it, staring at the computer monitor which just stared back at me. The time keeps on running but nothing came up as I light another cigarette, my last one. I crush the box, letting it lay helplessly on my desk.

Still. No story comes. Blank. I take a long drag off my cigarette keeping the in my lung for awhile before I let it out to the already poluted air in my office.

I am really out of luck. I've been sitting in front of my stupid laptop all day but not even a single word popped out of my brain to continue my novel. I've done well with the beginning and the climax, but somehow I can't think of a good ending. I wanted something that my readers will never see coming, something different. different. But what?! I have no fuckin' idea! This can't be happening to me, the promising-most-wanted- Japanese-novelist, Yuki Eiri!!

I've been so unlucky recently, and I hate my life for it. Last month, my stupid brother, Tatsuha borrowed some money from me to buy a new motorbike. He gave away his old one to his friend because the stupid idiot happened to lose on a bet. I can make my own bet he's not planning to return my money soon this month. Tatsuha isn't my only problem though, my bitchy editor keeps on calling just to remind me about my nearing deadline. Of course I'm aware of the deadline. I sure as hell wouldn't be sitting here working my brain out if I wasn't thinking about the deadline now, would I?

I take another long drag off my cigarette and blow it but staring dumbly at the ceiling, watching the white smoke spread around the room. When I was a kid I used to believe that God had a big book and He had everybody's fate written in it.

Maybe He had my fate written like this. He planned for my life to be unlucky.

Damn!

I scratched the back of my head.

'So, what kind of other bad luck are you planning for me next, God?', I asked still staring at the ceiling not expecting an answer of course.

If only I could write down my own fate.

Bad luck huh? I grunt at the thought. Speaking of bad luck. that little brat who has been living with me always coming home very late at night for the past 2 weeks. There was even a time when he got back in the morning only to change and then went back to work again. He is probably busy with his music and stuff. It's not if I care about it. Who cares if he was doing some new songs or doing a video clip or planning to have some tours around the world for the past two weeks. It has nothing to do with me. The brat is being busy and he hasn't been bothering me with his loud voice for two weeks. And with that I also haven't had any sex in the past two weeks.

Could it be that I am suffering stress because of that?

No way. That's stupid.

I put out my cigarette and step out of my office. I go the kitchen to make some coffee and there who should I see but the brat, packing up something. "What are you doing?" I can't help but ask for some reason.

"I'm packing things." He answered.

"Yeah I can see that. What for? Are you finally moving out?"

"Of course not. These are all the things that Sakuma-san gave me. I'm putting them away. You see, I've decided not to--"

"Oh." I cut off. With that I go to the kitchen, make myself some coffee and back to my office leaving the brat all alone. I don't make it my business to listen to his decision for a better life.

I spend another two hours in my office without any progress since the last three hours. I did type something that I thought would be good for a plot but then I erased it again since it sucked. I leave my office once again, this time because I'm hungry.

I walk to the kitchen to make myself something proper to eat. I glance over at the brat who has been watching one of his precious Nittle Grasper's concert video. I thought he said he was going to put away all the goodies Sakuma Ryuichi gave him. If so, isn't that video tape suppose to be put away as well?

I notice his eyes are glued to the tv but I know that his mind is somewhere else. He has something on his mind.

But why should I care? I shrug as I make myself a sandwich, deciding to eat it in the kitchen. I take the morning newspaper trying to read it when I hear the brat let out a sigh.

The brat has been acting pretty weird lately after he got back from doing a show together with Nittle Grasper.

I hear him sigh again. And again. And again. He's really getting on my nerves. Is he trying to get my attention? That annoying little brat!

I swallowed the last piece of my sandwich, take a sip of black coffee and walk out of the kitchen.

I stand across from the brat with my arms folded across my chest. Ok, you want my attention, you got my attention, Baka! "What's got in to you?" I asked reluctantly and sarcastically.

The little Baka's eyes are still set on the tv as I continued, " You've been acting weird since you went on a show together with Nittle Grasper."

"Oh, so you've noticed, Yuki?" His eyes haven't turned away from the tv.

"Yeah and it's annoying, you know that?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. But I don't know either. I don't get it my self." He turned his body to me but after a glance at me he avert to another direction, gazing at some empty spot. "I have this weird feeling and it's been there ever since I had a show together with Sakuma-san."

'This is going to be long,' I thought to my self as I rub my temple.

"It was really, really thrilling in the first place-well he has always been my idol since I was at school, right? But that day when we're at the same show as 2 different singers. this feeling. I don't know why." the little brat paused.

I breathe in deep. "Just what are you trying to say?" I am really wasting my time with this.

"Remember when I had my very first performance on the stage when you suddenly showed up when you said you weren't going to come?"

"Yeah, yeah. And?"

"Well you know I was pretty nervous that time, I never thought you would suddenly show up like that. But when Sakuma-san got on the stage and sang to encourage me, I completely forgot my nervousness and became all powerful again."

"."

"But Sakuma-san's performance that I saw the other day made me very weak and kind of. scared. I know that I'd been watching his performance since I was still at school but I've never felt like this before. But why do I--"

"You stupid idiot. So that's what had you like this? You've been whining all day and annoying me just because of this?! Okay, you said you wanted my advice, didn't you? Just forget about that Sakuma Ryuichi or go somewhere else where you can find somebody else who'll enjoy hearing your stupid problems."

The brat's eyes widen. His mouth is about to protest as I continue unwilling to give him a chance to speak, "Hnh. I don't believe this. You're wasting my time. Your whining really annoys me." I turned on my heels when the little idiot starts to protest.

"What are you so mad about? I was just trying to ask for your opinion." He paused to take breath and continued, "What I meant is that I know I should have been used to Sakuma-san's performance. but why all the sudden I."

I don't hear the rest of his crap. Didn't his brain get what I meant?! He thinks that I want to listen to this?!

Sakuma-san! Sakuma-san! Is that all he got on his mind?! I watch the stupid kid babble about nothing but that Sakuma Ryuichi. I feel something odd. I hate how he goes on and on about that 30 year old singer. I feel stupid. I feel like I'm jealous of.

"LOOK!!" I yelled. "When I said to forget about him, you forget about him! You and your Sakuma-san are disturbing my work! You got that, Baka!"

"You don't need to be angry! And don't call me 'Baka'!" He yelled back with red face. I can tell that he's angry. "The Baka one is you! You just never cared about me. You don't have to get so angry like that. I only needed you to listen to my problem and give me a way out, if it's possible. That's all I asked. Isn't that what lovers are suppose to do? Listen to each other? And do you listen to me? No-o. You're too busy finding a reason to get angry at me. You better find another hobby,Yuki." He got up from the couch and turned off the VCR. Then sat back in his previous spot with arms crossed on his chest.

That brat! Then I heard a voice inside of me saying something. 'hey, are you going to let the brat insult you like that?!'

"Lovers are supposed to listen to each other, Yuki Eiri. I thought you know that since you're some-some romance novelist," He continued with a mocking-_expression, "I bet you don't know anything about lovers. You see? So who's the 'Baka' now?" He smirked.

Lovers? What lovers are supposed to do? I feel something burning inside of me. He-that little idiot is trying to teach me-the novelist, who writes love stories for a living-what to do?! He really had the nerve to do that! I really don't like what's happenning.

"What lovers are supposed to do?" I feel the blood inside my body raise to the top of my head. "I'll tell you what lovers are suppose to do, Shindo Shuichi. They are suppose to make their lover's HAPPY!" I say looking straight into his eyes. "And you're making me upset, Shu-chan. That's not good." I moved myself closer to him as my eyes haven't turned away from his. It seems like I'm frightening him. "You really wanna know what I think? I think you like Sakuma Ryuichi. You have a CRUSH on him! RIGHT!?" I yelled again. I guess I really am jealous.

The big eyes of the terrified kid in front of me widen. He doesn't say a word.

I don't like this. So I was right?! Damnit! I hate the sudden change on the Shuichi's face. "So it is true." I stated.

Shuichi gasps in surprise as I suddenly grasp hard on his shoulders. I know that I looked furious and Shuichi is frightened. I can feel it. "Is it!?" I ask out loud shaking him roughly.

I know I'm hurting him, but he only stares dumbly at me without even answering. I become more angry.

I feel like destroying him.

I didn't seem to be thinking anymore when I grabbed the back of his neck crushing my lips on his.

Oh he was surprised alright.

I forced his mouth to open so that I can slip my tongue in to his mouth and taste every sweet part he posseses. Shuichi doesn't like it. He's resisting! Me?! He's resisting me?! He's never resisted me before!

I tighten my grip so he can't avoid my furious kiss. He tries hard to protest, I can hear it coming from behind of his throat. But his moan of pain is not going to stop me.

My right hand is still tight behind his neck. My left arm is wrapped around his body. Locking him into my grip.

Shuichi is still struggling to get loose.

When I think that he's almost about to get loose from me I move my hand from his neck up to his hair, grasping a handful of silky, strawberry smelled-pink hair.

"Ow!" He cried as I pulled his hair to make him tilt his head back.

As my lips still attacking his, I push my body against him causing the both of us to fall from the couch and land hard on the floor with Shuichi beneath me.

Though I am still forcing my kiss on him I know he wants to just scream for me to stop. He tries to push me away. I take one of his wrists and hold it above his head. Shuichi can't do anything with only one hand now. One of my hand runs underneath his clothes. I find a nipple, pinching it.

"Ow! Yuki stop! Yuki! You're hurting me!" Shuichi cried out helplessly.

I deepen my kiss to make him shut his mouth.

Why is he resisting me?!

Quickly moving my lips from his I leave a small cut on his lips obviously caused by my rough kisses. It's bleeding a little. Then I move down to his neck and do the same thing there, leaving red marks on the sensitive spot. Shuichi moaned in pain on it as he continues trying to push me away. My emotions well up, causing me to be rough with him.

"You've really got the guts to try and teach me what lovers are suppose to do. It has been 2 weeks, Shu-chan. I'll teach you what lovers are suppose to do!"

I move my hand down fast to unbutton his shirt. But it's hard with only one hand and with Shuichi trying to push me away. I let go off my grip and have both hands on the collar of his shirt about to tear it open quickly.

"Yuki stop!" Shuichi really sounded terrified.

I already had 3 buttons popped out from their place when Shuichi with a sudden move and full strength push me. "STOP IT!!" he cried out striking my face with a hard blow from his hand.

The brat slapped me!

Shuichi looked terrified. But he also seems surprised by the slap himself. I am shocked myself. He is resisting me! He slapt me!

I glare down at him.

"Oh Yuki." his voice soft, ".Yuki forgive me. I didn't mean to. But you were." He doesn't finish his sentence. His eyes overflowing with tears ready to stream down his cheeks. His head bowed.

I feel a stab in my heart. I know I've hurt him, but I just couldn't think clearly. I am totally angry. I know I should apologize to him. But I'm totally angry. He slapt me! I'm not going to apologize to him. In fact I feel like hurting him even more!

"Hunh. Now I get it."

"Yuki?" Shuichi raised his head.

"You've been very busy, haven't you? You've been busy spreading your legs to everyone at the company! Hmm. let me see. Oh, Hiro! He seemed to have a crush on you and you liked hugging him and hanging out with him. I'm sure you enjoyed making out with Hiro-kun. And that kid. Fujisaki! Oh and maybe with that weird manager to likes to stick his gun to anybody's head just to make them obey him. So, did he have to stick his gun to you to have your legs wrapped around his shoulders? Hm?"

Shuichi's face turn pale. With wide eyes and a bit red he glared at me. He's angry but he's holding it. His body shivers and his fist is tightly clenched. I bet he never expected to hear such words coming out from my mouth.

I smirked. I'm quite enjoying this. "And now you're thinking of having your precious Sakuma-san to fuck your cute little ass! There! You said you wanted my opinion and now you have it! Satis--"

My words cut off by a hard slam of a pillow on my face.

Tears stream down his face. There's something more than anger in his eyes. It is.

"I HATE YOU!!!" Shuichi screamed at me as he ran to the door. He opened it and slammed it close. I can hear him run away crying.

Shuichi's last word is piercing through my heart. I feel like my chest is stabbed by a katana. It hurt.

I take the pillow throwing it at the closed door.

"Fine! Go wherever you like, kuso gaki! See if I care!!"

I throw myself on the couch trying to think about what had caused the fight. How could it have happen? Why should it of happened?

'I hate you.'

Suddenly I feel cold covering me. And the pain in my chest is getting worse. I feel like my soul is crawling out from my body.

TBC

A/N : So? What'd ya think? If you liked it, review. If you hated it, e- mail me. But whether you liked it or not I'll still be posting the next chapter anyway.