an anon on tumblr asked for a follow up where clarke runs into finn or something and basically gets antsy about being cheated on and then bellamy (probably self-loathingly) reassures her that he would never do that
Things are going good with Bellamy. Clarke trusts him, even if she doesn't entirely forgive him yet. She knows deep down he never wanted to hurt her, and he knows what he did was wrong, and she thinks he probably doesn't ever expect to be forgiven, which helps somehow. She knows she'll forgive him eventually, but these things take time and it's only been a few weeks.
Things with Roan are better too, he seems to have forgiven her, or at least he's too busy to remind her what a shitty thing she did, keeping his wife's affair from him. He seems to have thrown himself even further into his work in the wake of Echo's betrayal and departure, and Clarke knows it's just a coping mechanism, but at least he's not wallowing and moping over someone who clearly didn't care that much about him.
In any case, Roan has his hands full with making progress on the Paris Hotel, and Clarke is left to pick up the slack around the home office. There's a function on in the main ballroom tonight, a wedding reception, and Clarke is freaking out about it slightly. Not only because there doesn't seem to be enough chairs for the amount of guests there are, but also because one of the brides is Raven Reyes, the woman who had turned out to be dating Finn Collins a year and a half ago, at the same time as Clarke.
Of course, Clarke and Raven hadn't blamed each other, and had made their peace. It was Finn who was the scumbag. But Clarke hasn't seen the woman since and she doesn't even know if Raven knows that Clarke is involved with the wedding. She's been dealing with the other bride, Gina Martin. Gina claims she's very laid back normally, but Clarke is yet to see that side of her. Weddings tend to bring out the manic side of people. Clarke is determined that if she ever gets married it's going to be a pool party with a barbecue and a grocery store mud cake.
Finally she manages to get some more chairs rounded up, and just in time as the first of the guests start to arrive. She's pleased with herself that it all came together so nicely and she hopes the brides are just as pleased.
Clarke doesn't pay much attention to the guests that walk into the ballroom, figuring she isn't likely to know any of them. She just stands out of the way keeping an eye on things, making sure the kitchen staff and bar staff are ready to go. So she's taken completely unawares when a ghost from her past comes up to her, giving her that lopsided grin that used to make her knees go weak.
"Hey, Princess," he says, and even his voice makes her sick to her stomach. She'd never liked that nickname, although she'd let him call her that while they were dating. It seemed sweet at the time, but now it's like a punch to the stomach.
"Finn," she says flatly. "What are you doing here?"
"Raven invited me," he says, as if it's obvious. "We're friends now." Clarke can't imagine ever being friends with someone who cheated on her, but Raven has always been a better person than Clarke. She knows Roan would sooner stab himself in the eye than be friends with Echo again. Though he might invite her to his wedding if he ever got married again, just to spit in her face.
"Okay, well I'd love to chat," she lies. "But I'm working. Maybe you should go and find your seat."
"Alright," Finn winks and Clarke wants to slap his stupid smirk off his smarmy face. "I'll find you later." Clarke sincerely hopes he does not.
Clarke tries to forget she ever saw Finn by keeping busy, but honestly once the reception is underway there isn't all that much for her to do except yell at the kitchen staff, and the head chef seems to have that under control.
She retreats to the reception desk, figuring she'll just be in the way if she hangs around the ballroom. She's only required to stay another hour anyway, and then it's someone else's problem.
She's only got fifteen minutes left when Finn ambushes her. He saunters out into the lobby, looking around, obviously for Clarke. She wants to hide, but she knows that's not the mature thing to do. Not that Finn deserves her maturity.
"There you are!" he says when he spots her, and he makes a beeline toward her. "Thought maybe you'd run out on me," he jokes. Clarke doesn't even crack a smile. The sick feeling has returned and there's nothing less appealing than having to stand here and be polite to the guy who lied to her and used her and cheated on her, and then had the nerve to act like she'd hurt him by breaking up with him.
"Just have work to do," she says, a clear dismissal. Finn doesn't take the hint.
"I've been meaning to call you," Finn says.
"Oh?" Clarke says, feigning interest, feeling the seconds drag on.
"I thought maybe we could catch up," he suggests and Clarke can't hide the look of disgusted incredulity that passes over her face. "What?" Finn says, noticing her expression. She can't entirely blame him for being clueless. She never did get to say all the things she wanted to say to him. And he always was under the delusional impression that he was the good guy.
"Look Finn, just because Raven has forgiven you doesn't mean I have," she says firmly.
"Aw, come on, Clarke, don't be like that," Finn pouts. Clarke can't believe she ever found him attractive.
"Be like that?" Clarke huffs. "You broke my heart, Finn. You made me think I meant something to you when all the time you were stringing me along, making me the other woman. How am I supposed to forgive you for that?" Her hands are shaking and her heart is in her throat, but somehow she manages to get the words out.
"I apologised for that," Finn reminds her.
"You were only sorry that you got caught," Clarke spits and Finn flinches, but he doesn't deny it. Clarke glances at the time on her computer screen. She's still supposed to stay another ten minutes, but she can't bear to be there a second longer. "I'm out of here," she says, grabbing her handbag from underneath the desk. "Don't bother calling me, Finn." She doesn't look back as she strides out of the hotel, even when Finn calls out her name pathetically. She's still shaking, partly from anger, partly from the anxiety of having to face Finn. She really never thought she'd have to see him again.
The car is waiting for her when she walks out of the hotel, although Miller is twenty metres away having a cigarette.
"You're early," he says as he throws it on the ground and grinds it into the cement with his foot.
"You're not supposed to smoke here," Clarke snaps at him as he opens the door for her.
"You okay?" he asks. Clarke just nods as she gets into the car. She's not, obviously, but even if she wanted to tell Miller how she's feeling, she wouldn't know where to start. She's a mess of emotions.
Seeing Finn again brought back old feelings, none of them good. Nothing like the love and affection she once felt for him. Just the gut wrenching feeling of betrayal, the paranoia that comes with having the trust she put in someone pulled out from beneath her. It makes her think of Bellamy, and how he's lied to her. And she doesn't want to connect Finn and Bellamy in anyway, because she knows Bellamy isn't Finn. She knows how sorry he is that he lied, that he made her part of his lies. He wouldn't cheat on her.
And yet, the niggling feeling that he could eats away at her even as Miller is driving her to her apartment, where she knows Bellamy is waiting for her.
"Miller?" Clarke says quietly, needing to say something just to ease her mind. "Do you think you can ever truly trust someone?" she asks. Miller is quiet for a moment or two.
"You have to," he says finally. "What they choose to do with that trust is on them." Clarke knows he's right. It's not her fault Finn broke her trust, and it won't be her fault if Bellamy chooses to do the same. But it doesn't make it any easier.
Miller drops her off out the front of her apartment building and she makes her way up, trying to decide what she's going to say to Bellamy. He'll know straight away something's up, it's just a matter of how much she tells him. Is it fair of her to put her insecurities on him?
He's making dinner when she walks in; he must have known she wouldn't eat at the hotel. Clarke makes her way to the kitchen and stands in the entrance, leaning against the wall.
"Hey," Bellamy says, looking up. "What's wrong?" he says immediately. Clarke takes a deep breath.
"I saw Finn today," she says and Bellamy's eyes widen and he puts down the spoon he's holding. He looks like he wants to comfort her, but he seems to sense there's something else. "He said Raven had forgiven him. He wanted to catch up." Bellamy just watches her cautiously, waiting for her to go on. Clarke wills herself not to burst into tears. "It just reminded me of what it felt like when I found out about Raven. How I felt so stupid because I should've known. How betrayed I felt. I just-," she swallows. "I can't go through that again."
"Clarke," Bellamy says, tilting his head, finally understanding what she's trying to say. "Fuck." He shakes his head. "I'm so sorry," he says gently, and that's when the dam breaks and Clarke can't hold back the tears any longer. Clarke knows it takes all Bellamy's willpower not to reach for her and pull her into his arms.
"I swear I'll never do that to you," he says, his eyes full of remorse. "I know—I know my word doesn't mean much. I know you can never forgive me for what I did, but I promise you I will never cheat on you.
What I did with Echo, I convinced myself that it wasn't so bad because I wasn't the one cheating but I realise now how wrong I was, how awful it was of me to ask you to help me, how shitty it was to lie to you all that time. I don't blame you for not trusting me. But I love you, Clarke and I want to be with only you and I'll spend every day of the rest of my life proving that to you." His voice cracks and Clarke wipes away a tear from her cheek. "Just please, please don't leave me. You're it for me."
"I'm not leaving you," Clarke promises him, her voice shaky from crying. "I believe you," she says honestly. "I trust you." Her doubts seem almost fickle now, she knows Bellamy would never do that to her. She just needed to hear him say it. But she hates that he thinks so little of himself, the self loathing in his voice is evident. She knows it's not because of her, but she'd like to help him overcome it. "And I forgive you," she says firmly.
"You don't have to say that," Bellamy shakes his head.
"I mean it," Clarke says, fiercely this time. "You're forgiven. Now come and hold your girlfriend, she's had a rough day." Bellamy manages a half smile as he reaches for her, takes her in his arms. Clarke buries her head into his neck and he kisses the top of her head.
"I love you," he tells her softly.
"I know," she murmurs against into his shirt. "I love you too."