Chapter 14 - Bravely defeating the foe!

Author's Note: Hello, friends! I have some news; and I know that it might be disappointing to the mommies out there. I had a very long think last night; and, since I am going back to university soon, I don't think I will be able to continue writing this story and posting it online. It was a hard decision for me to accept; but after all, I am the boss of my own life and I don't need a husband to tell me what to do. I want to thank all of the many people who have supported me in this little activity of mine; and I hope that this last chapter ties up the loose ends as best as one chapter can. (Thank you everyone who reviewed, especially mckydstarlight).

Harry gasped; and Dean Thomas gasped too; and Hermione looked surprised but she didn't burst into tears; as Voldemort ambled through the parking lot. The enormous crowd of students were nervous; but they still stood boldly in the face of a potential end to their schooling. Dumbledore stood beside Associate Professor McGonagall, equals as they were.

Harry looked at the man walking toward them; and he thought of what his perspective might be, and was genuinely interested to hear what he had to say; of course, Harry would probably disagree with him, having already heard so much about his fundamentalist Christian beliefs, but it is important not to jump to conclusions; and he thought of how one day he would die; and how everyone would die someday when their body and mind simply ceased to function and that was the end.

Voldemort stopped walking when he was in front of the Professor Dumbledore and Associate Professor McGonagall. He arrogantly nodded and said, "I have come on an official visit to this school as part of my job as a politician. I believe this school is, unfortunately, in great need of an overhaul of its management."

"Yes Mr Voldemort," said Dumbledore respectfully. "Would you like me to take you on a tour of the school?"

Voldemort blinked stupidly; frowning distastefully at Dumbledore's attire. "No thank you," he said coldly, in a voice dripping with malice. "I have no desire to be shown around the school by a disgusting homosexual like yourself."

Associate Professor McGonagall gasped loudly and put her hand over her mouth but Professor Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. "By all means then, show yourself around. I will be in the library with the rest of my staff."

With that, Voldemort gave Dumbledore one last glance, grimaced, and clutching the cross that hung around his neck, brandishing a Bible, as though intending to use it to ward off fornicating drug-addicted evolutionist students, he strode into the school.

Harry and his friends watched him go with interest, wondering what would happen when he passed judgement on their school. Professor Dumbledore left for the library with the other staff members, leaving the students to continue with their leisure activities or to go to bed, as it was still the night of the debate and nearing midnight by now.

Harry and his friends decided to use their time to go to the library and research oxidative phosphorylation for the biology homework for Dr Sprout. They studied studiously for about an hour until a commotion interrupted their concentration.

Voldemort strode into the library, shaking with anger and slamming the door behind him. He walked up to Professor Dumbledore and placed a large, accusing finger on his chest. Dumbledore didn't react. "This school is far worse than I thought," Voldemort said extremely loudly. "Far worse! I will have to make a lot of changes to the way this school is run."

"I am interested to hear your suggestions Mr Voldemort, do continue," said Professor Dumbledore neutrally.

"Well firstly," shrieked Voldemort, "I will put a stop to the teaching of false theories such as evolution that is based on lies and-"

Voldemort was cut off by Dr Snape. "Actually Mr Voldemort, I think you will find that there is an enormous amount of evidence for the theory of evolution."

"THAT IS LIE" replied Voldemort, waving his hands around exorbitantly. "Also you are brainwashing children with propaganda like climate change. Look outside, it's cold and snowing! Obviously climate change is a hoax made by the Chinese," he raved.

"Also you don't teach the Bible here and you should because the Bible will tell you the truth about evolution. I will be installing school chaplains, scripture classes and any new students that want to come to this school will have extreme vetting. Girls will not be able to come to this school because in the Bible it says that a woman's place is in the home with the children. Also no abortions because that is murder."

"Now really, Mr Voldemort," began Associate Professor McGonagall wisely, "you probably don't have the supporters in Congress to pass these changes."

"No I do I have lots of followers! The biggest. Did you see all the people that turned out to hear me speak? It was the biggest ever! I won bigly!"

By now, Harry and his friends were finding it incredibly hard to concentrate on their homework with Voldemort's shrill voice echoing around the library. By now they had abandoned the homework and were listening to Voldemort as he ranted against their school.

Voldemort strode up to a shelf in the library and pulled a random book off the shelf. "See here Dumbledore," he proclaimed. "I will be checking everything you are teaching."

He examined the book he had chosen. It was a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone that had a creased spine and dog ears, indicating that it had been well read and a favorite of the students. Voldemort's eyes bulged in horror. "This is an outrage!" he yelled. "This book will turn children into witches. Luckily, I have brought along with me a suitable replacement." Voldemort ordered one of his staff to open a box they had been carrying around. From the box, Voldemort withdrew a thin blue book with golden writing on the front cover that read Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles by proudhousewife. "This will be the new curriculum," he proclaimed and triumphantly pushed the book into Professor Dumbledore's hands. Dumbledore examined it carefully. He passed it on to Associate Professor McGonagall who frowned and handed it around to the rest of the staff members. "Well I can't say I've heard of this particular novel, Mr Voldemort, but I shall study it keenly and if it is suitable I will add it to our library," said Dumbledore thoughtfully.

Voldemort laughed a harsh, high pitched laugh and strode out of the library, but not before adding "This isn't the last you've seen of me Dumbledore!" and recoiling as an innocent student attempted to enter the library.

Harry and his friends were astonished at such temperamental behaviour. Cautiously they approached Professor Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers.

"Would you like one of these books to read?" offered Professor Dumbledore, smiling. "Mr Voldemort left quite a stash behind."

Harry accepted the book and thanked Professor Dumbledore. On the way back to their dormitories, Harry, Hermione, Ron and Dean met Luna and Malfoy, and filled them in on what had happened in the library at the common room. The mood was sombre and all the students were melancholy, fearing the worst that Voldemort would get their school shut down. In the heat of it all, they had almost forgotten about the book.

"What about that book that Voldemort had, Harry? Should we read that?" Ron said.

"I don't know." Harry looked around at his friends. "What do you think?"

Hermione frowned. "I think it is worth reading," she began slowly. "At least so that we can better understand Voldemort's point of view. I am wary that, considering Voldemort's attitudes, it may contain a lot of anti-feminist and prejudiced material, but it is important not to pass judgement without investigating the full story."

They all concurred with Hermione's reasonable statement, and sat around and behind Harry, who was holding the book for everyone to see. He opened to the first page and began to read:

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door-and everything changed.

Further and further into the story they read, with Dean chortling occasionally and Hermione restraining herself when they read about the 'Feminists'.

At last they arrived at the final chapter. As they read Chapter 14, a change came across their faces, and realization dawned. When they had finished Harry closed the book carefully and looked at each of his friends. They all smiled.

"Do you think he realizes?" said Ron.

"That proudhousewife is not being serious?" questioned Dean.

"That it is all a joke?" enquired Luna.

"That the author is speaking her true opinion through the character of Voldemort?" asked Malfoy.

"That this is possibly the greatest piece of satire in all of literature?" exclaimed Hermione.

Harry laughed. "No I don't think he does," he admitted.

"Do you think we should tell him?" asked Ron.

"No," replied Harry, still smiling. "And even if we did, it is likely that he wouldn't believe us."

Harry looked at his friends and a great hope filled his heart. For even in times of great despair, there was still hope. And Harry knew that, if they tried hard enough through logical reasoning and promotion of tolerance and equal rights and liberties for all people, they could change the world.

Author's note - Live long and prosper!

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that' as if it gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I'm offended by that'. Well, so fucking what? - Stephen Fry.

I must find a truth that is true for me - Soren Kierkegaard.