By Famira Damaris
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam. ;_;
Author's Note: Wah, I just finished Turn A Gundam only a few minutes ago and…*googly eyed* It just turned into my favorite Gundam series (sorry Zeta. :P). Gonna be a short ficcy, so…er…yeah. If I get names wrong or anything, I apologize – my subs were very, very bad. I'm paranoid I might have missed the finer points of the plot (did Loran get those marks on his back from the Turn A's cockpit? I'm thinking he did). *sniff*. xX; The ending of Turn A especially struck me: nuuu! White Doll! *sob* I know a lot of people don't like Sochie…but I felt bad for her at the end of the series (I didn't find her very annoying). So…ultra short one-shot for Sochie.
This is what you get when you keep listening to the "White Falcon Medley" and "Moon". Very cool songs. *droolz* Yoko Kanno, you're such a great composer! *worships!* Erm…title doesn't really have anything to do with the ficcy…I couldn't think of anything else.
Italics for inner feelings or thoughts, emphasis, sound effects
Spoilers if you haven't seen the show. ^^;
By a Moon's Light
There were no words to be said this time. No formal farewell. No tearful war stories. Nothing. Just a gentle kiss and then he was gone.
Sochie Heim's vision blurred painfully as she watched Loran Cehack crunch away through the snow. She was crying – she knew she was, she could feel the cold tears trickling down her cheeks, had felt them even when Loran had made his goodbye – but she made no attempt to brush them away. It wouldn't matter, whether Loran saw her crying or not. A few yards away, she could hear the sound of a car door opening, the quiet rumbling rasp of the vehicle's engine starting. The young woman bowed her head, fighting back a small sob.
…How did this happen…?
Loran was leaving. For good, most likely. The former pilot had pulled her aside a month ago; it was then he told her he was planning to move away. Somewhere secluded. Somewhere quiet, isolated. He had suggested it to Queen Diana a few weeks earlier – she had expressed she would be happy to go with him. He thought he had already found a place to settle down too. Not yet, Loran had added quickly, noticing the stunned expression on Sochie's face. Not for a while. Not so soon.
Not for a while. Not so soon. Loran had said those words so recently...
Today wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to come.
But it had. Sochie closed her eyes, moist with tears. The cool winter air nipped at her cheeks; she ignored it, ignored the slow fall of snow from the sable ceiling of night sky above. Loran, of all people, was leaving. The one person who had always been there. Sochie had always been able to look to him for help. Loran had been with her when everything had changed, after all. He had been the one constant thing in her life. And she had repaid him by slapping him, by insulting him, by shunning him. By taking him for granted. Even when she couldn't even tell the difference between her own sister and the Queen, he had been at her side.
Lifting her head upon hearing the main gates clattering open to admit Loran and Diana's car, Sochie felt the first sob rack her frame. The brunette could still see him – through the window, a glimpse of his long white hair. She could see his face, aqua eyes straight-ahead, in the side mirror. The same expression, when he'd approached her a few minutes ago. He had never gotten angry at her when she had said all those awful things to him. He had taken her angry blows without trying to defend himself. Hugging her thick overcoat about her, Sochie stood rooted helplessly in her spot.
She was sorry. For everything.
And she hadn't ever told him. She had never thanked him.
Everything suddenly seemed so impossible, so immense: the first attack by Diana Counter's forces, White Doll, her father's death, Willgame, the confusion between Kihel and Diana, her fiancée's fate at Ross Mountain …the Moon. The impending devastation of Moonlight Butterfly. How could she have possibly lived through all of this? How could she even be standing here? If…if it wasn't for Loran…and everyone else…
Another loud sob. Why was she so selfish? Thinking only of revenge…and then, later, only of herself. And Loran…fighting for everyone, accepting those sacred scars on his dark back instead of her. The marks of Turn A, the herald of the dark history's apocalypse. The murderer. Gundam. He had even accepted the sins White Doll had committed.
The headlights of Loran's car blinked on, the beams shafting out onto the dark bridge just beyond the Heim estate. Sochie took a trembling step forward, feeling a swell of panic rising into her throat. This couldn't be the end. Not after everything that had happened, it couldn't just finish like this. She couldn't just accept that kiss without saying anything – it wouldn't be like every other time. For once, Sochie was going to repay him like she should've all those other times. She had grown up since the war. Only now it was too late.
The car had begun to pull out of the gates when Sochie cupped her gloved hands around her mouth:
"Loran, I'm sorry!"
The young woman didn't know if he could even hear her. But she kept shouting regardless.
"I'm sorry for everything! Loran!"
As if her words could wipe away everything, clean away all the mistakes and bad decisions. But they couldn't. There was no way they could. But she kept hollering after the car. Even when it had made the final turn and disappeared down the dark, snow-covered road, she couldn't stop. Finally, her voice started to fail, hoarse now as she panted slightly, her breaths puffs in the chill air. The main lane was empty and the sounds of Loran and Diana's car had long since faded away. She was alone once more; a solitary figure standing before the gates and the open boulevard, a thin veil of snow forming on her shoulders.
"…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done the things I did…" Sochie reached up, brushing away at her tears. Her words were soft, almost inaudible. "I'm sorry I never told you. I'm sorry I was so proud. I'm sorry…"
Ten minutes later, Sam found Sochie still watching the road. Shrugging out of his heavy jacket, the elderly servant draped it over the young woman's shoulders; with a shuddering sigh, she accepted his unspoken invitation and leaned into his shoulder. Giving Sochie a fatherly squeeze, he wheeled her around and led her back into the warmth of the mansion, back into the golden light spilling from indoors onto the white steps. Inside, Sochie seated herself in her father's rebuilt office, leaning back into the cushions of the chair and sipping from the hot drink Sam had given her.
So. It was over. Diana was gone. Meishi had taken off with her father two days ago. And Kihel would be leaving with Harry in a week. Makes the house awfully empty, doesn't it? Sochie smiled sadly. And Loran was gone too. But at least she had gotten the chance to see Loran Cehack one last time. She still had his silly, stupid little fish toy. It sat on her lap, an innocent, red plaything. The one he'd nearly drowned going after; with all the packing and preparation's he'd forgotten it.
Maybe one day he might come back and get it. Picking up the toy fish, she hugged it to her chest, feeling her eyes burning with tears again.
Loran…thank you. Thank you for everything.
Eh heh…tis short, I told you! XD Hopefully this didn't come out as too fluffy. xX; I noticed there is a huge lack of Turn A fics. *glares* Write, dammit! XD Anyway, I loved Turn A Gundam: characters were cool, music was fantastic, animation was awesome and the plot…*shakes head, in AWE* Yes, I'm a Turn A freak. :P I even fell in love with White Doll. ^^ I really, really hope Turn A comes to the US quickly. *would just die of gleefulness if it did* Although…I'd kinda be afraid of their dubbing. I think I'd cry if the dub turned out like 0083 or G Gundam. ;_;
Erm…at a lack of things to say. I usually don't write things this short. ^^; But I felt Sochie does get the short end of the stick, fan-wise. She isn't that bad, folks. xX; Lily now…cool character…but kind of scary. :P And is it me, or does Gwen try to "seduce" Loran with his Champagne of Power at inappropriate times? ^_-
Comments, questions, corrections, feel free to AIM me at S Duo Maxwell 02 or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks for reading. ^^
- Famira Damaris