AN: This one-shot is at the request of a reader. They sent me the following idea in a PM conversation:
Ok, so the premise for this fic is a comedic/lighthearted one. Basically, it's Ron and Hermione's wedding day, but Ron makes a mistake and Harry ends up marrying her instead. The mistake Ron makes can be anything, maybe he says a vow wrong or accidentally makes an oath, anything like that. The characters try to fix it but it can't be helped. Harry and Hermione then go through and enjoy their sudden wedding. And that's the whole fic. Sound alright?
Sort of. I think that those of you who've read some of my other work will have twigged to the fact that I don't really do weddings. Still you can't grow if you don't step outside your comfort zone every now and then so I took a swing at it. I took some inspiration from Cyrano de Bergerac and probably went a little darker than they meant, but this is what came rolling out. In all honesty, I failed at making this 'lighthearted'; miserably. If you like Ron Weasley you might want to look away.
Warning
Harmony pairing, violence and cursing. That's it. I almost feel let down with how little there is to warn you about in this fic.
Disclaimer
Harry Potter and all associated characters, locations and what not belong to J.K. Rowling and whoever she sells the rights to. I have borrowed these characters, locations and what not in order to mess around with them. In some cases I have lifted a piece of dialogue or scene directly from the books as a touchstone. I do not own anything except the plot and I am not making any money from this endeavor. This applies to the whole story.
Where do they get off giving me extra work?! I bloody well got rid of You Know Who! Lost in his chuntering thoughts Auror Trainee Ron Weasley made his way back to his dorm room after the instructors had made him stay behind after class to practice restraining spells. They have no bloody respect for a War Hero. What did they do during the war? Nothing! He stormed into his room in a foul mood to see his roommate starting where he was sitting at the desk writing something.
"Ron? Is something wrong?" Harry asked looking concerned for his best mate.
"Just a bit frustrated by the instructors." Ron gusted out.
"What did they keep you back for this time?"
"Restraining practice. Bunch of gits." Ron had walked over to the desk while he spoke and looked at the piece of parchment Harry had been writing on. My dearest love… ? He's writing a bloody love letter! Harry had seen where Ron was looking flipped the parchment over. "Who're you writing to?" Ron asked with a grin. Bet it's Ginny.
"No one. It's just a way to blow off some steam."
"Really? Then why is it addressed to 'my dearest love'?" Harry looked conflicted for a moment.
"I'm writing to the perfect girl. It's not something I was actually planning on posting."
"The perfect girl? Harry, mate, there's no such bird." Harry just shrugged uncomfortably. "Well, whatever. If that's what gets you through the day, have at it."
"Have you written Hermione recently?" Harry asked. Changing the subject? No problem. I'll just figure out what you were really doing later.
"Nah. You know I'm not much good at writing. Besides what's there to write about? She's at school, we're at school… it's boring." Harry and Ron had taken Minister Shacklebolt up on his offer to let them into the Auror Academy without their N.E.W.T.s while Hermione had chosen to go back to Hogwarts for a year to properly sit her exams. Daft bird. Why would you do that when no one cares anymore? They had only been at their respective schools for a month and so far Hermione's letters had been the only contact between Ron and his girlfriend.
"You should give it a try anyway, mate. You never know if she'll forget you if you don't."
"Herms? Even if she ever forgot anything I'm pretty sure I've got this locked up." Seriously, who else could compare to Ron Weasley, War Hero?
"Your call I suppose." Harry said with a shrug. Ron flopped back on his bed as he watched Harry flip the parchment back over and continue writing. When he finally put his quill down Ron saw him give the letter a final read through before he crumpled it up and tossed it in the bin next to the desk. Standing up and stretching Harry looked over at where Ron was lying on the bed. "Come on, mate. Time to get some dinner."
"Right you are!" Ron jumped off of the bed and joined his mate in heading down to the Mess Hall. That night while Harry was in the bathroom brushing his teeth Ron cast a Silencing Charm around his bed and an Alarm Charm on himself. He went to sleep with a grin on his face.
At two in the morning Ron's Alarm Charm woke him again. He carefully checked to make sure that Harry was still sleeping. Seeing the regular rise and fall of his mate's chest Ron slipped out of bed and snuck over to the bin with Harry's letter in it. Thought you could hide this from me? You should know better, Harry; we're training to be investigators. He fished it out and lit his wand to read it. Definitely a love letter. He's signed it 'Ever yours' without his name. How sad is that? Who knew Harry was such a woman? As he kept reading inspiration suddenly struck Ron. He quickly cast a pair of charms that he had perfected at school to smooth out a crumpled parchment and make the handwriting look like his own. Grabbing an envelope from the desk he addressed it to Hermione and slipped the letter inside. This is perfect. Hermione gets the kind of sappy letter that wins me major points. Harry won't miss his letter since the Vanishing Charm on the bin activates at 3 A.M. and if he keeps writing these things I'll be able to keep sending them. Who said being in a relationship was hard? Ron made his way over to his bed and slipped the letter in his nightstand's drawer. I'll post that thing tomorrow. With a smile on his face Ron went back to sleep.
:-:-:-:-:
Harry was sitting at the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, nursing a cup of tea. He was trying his desperate best to think of anything besides what Ron was doing today and as a result it was the only thing he could think of. Harry knew that Ron was taking Hermione out for a 'memorable day' and was planning to propose to her at the end of it. Harry knew that the day would be memorable for Hermione; he had basically organised it. With a sigh Harry drained his cup and refilled it. It's too bad that it's not even one in the afternoon yet; I could really use something stronger.
Harry had figured out that he loved his best friend years ago when they were on the hunt for Riddle's horcruxes. The realisation had come to him gradually, but surely. It had hurt when he had seen her kiss Ron after the final battle, but that hadn't been what had made him give up hope of ever having a relationship with Hermione; that had come the Christmas of his and Ron's first year at the Academy.
Harry, Hermione and Ron had met up in The Three Broomsticks for Christmas drinks. Harry had been writing Hermione letters for months by then; letters that he never posted and always threw away. Hermione might not have been able to read them but they had clarified for Harry that living without her would be living a half life as surely as if he started drinking unicorn blood. He had been determined that he would tell Hermione about his feelings that Christmas. Even if she turned him down he would at least be able to live without regrets.
After a slew of Butterbeers and Firewhisky shots Ron had slurred something about going to the toilet. Harry had realised that this had been his one chance and had broached the topic.
"Hermione? What do you think about your relationship with Ron?" To this day he still remembered the way Hermione lit up at that question.
"Oh, Harry, I never dreamed that it could be so wonderful. He doesn't really show it in public but there's such a depth of emotion in him and I don't think that there's anyone who knows me better." Harry had never seen his best friend so completely and utterly happy. It was at that moment that he had made a vow to himself. He would lock his love for her away in the depths of his soul, never to see the light of day. If Ron was able to make Hermione this happy, then Harry would do anything and everything in his power to keep that smile on her face even if it shattered his heart to do so. It would have been selfish to throw my own feelings at her after that. "Why did you ask?" Harry had plastered a smile on his face to hide the pain in his chest.
"It's not something blokes really talk about, Hermione, but I can't help but be a little curious about my two best friends." Hermione had smiled that beatific smile at him again and Harry had almost wept at knowing that he would never feel it's full warmth in his life. Ever since that day Harry had fulfilled his vow as best he could. He had bought Ron's presents for Hermione's birthday when he forgot like he did every year, had organised half their dates including today and had always done his best to mend their inevitable arguments. Every time he wondered whether he shouldn't just let Ron drown in his own mess he would remember that smile and cave. He had continued to write his letters to Hermione and still threw them in the bin where they were Vanished. Harry was roughly drawn from his thoughts by the floo flaring green.
"Potter! Where's Weasley?" barked the voice of Gawain Robbards. "He's late reporting for duty." Oh, for fuck's sake. Don't tell me he forgot to ask for leave.
"I'm not sure, boss. I can take his shift though." Keeping busy might just be the only way I'm going to make it through the rest of today. Robbards shot Harry a piercing look.
"You can't just keep covering for him, Potter."
"I'm not covering for him." Robbards' look turned entirely too knowing.
"Fine. Get changed and get here ASAP. I don't like being short-handed."
"On it, boss!" The fire died down and Harry hurried upstairs to get changed. He flooed into the office only minutes later, wearing his uniform, and headed to his desk with a nod at Robbards. Might as well get some paperwork done until something comes up. The shift was as about as boring as they got until a singed looking auror staggered into the bullpen.
"Azkaban… riot…" was all he managed to get out before he collapsed right there on the floor. There was complete silence in the auror headquarters for a split second before chaos broke out as the aurors began running for the portkeys to get out to the prison and make sure that the most despicable wizards in the country didn't get free to terrorise innocent citizens.
:-:-:-:-:
Harry lowered himself to the couch with one hand pressed to his ribs and a pained groan. The riot at Azkaban had apparently started when a guard had gotten carelessly close to a cell which had allowed Yaxley to grab his wand. The guard had been hit with an AK before he could defend himself or raise the alarm. After that Yaxley had set about freeing his fellow Death Eaters and they had started overpowering guards and taking their wands. It was nothing more than luck that had allowed one of the guards to see them coming and activate his portkey so he could warn the rest of the aurors. Harry and his colleagues had thankfully arrived before the Death Eaters had found their way to the main gate, but by that time half of them had wands and they weren't shy about using them to throw some of the most vile curses known to man at anything that moved.
One of them, a particularly dark variation on the Cutting Curse, had caught Harry in the ribs while he was fighting Malfoy and Greyback. Harry had managed to kill both his opponents despite the gash in his chest, but his healing spells were nowhere near powerful enough to fix the damage. After all the escaped Death Eaters had been killed, the battle was finally done and the medics had done the best they could amid the bodies of the dead and dying and barely managed to close the wound. Harry had refused to go to St. Mungo's; ostensibly because there were people who were far worse off and who deserved the full attention of the Healers, which they wouldn't get if the Saviour checked in at the same time. While that was also true, Harry was far more worried about the Healers calling his emergency contact. Hermione is going to get proposed to any minute by a man who makes her happier than any other in the world. I will not ruin that. Harry stretched out on the couch and laid his head down on the armrest. He tried to relax his muscles in an effort to minimise the pain from his wound. A vibrating in his robe pocket caused him to tense up again though. Reaching into his pocket, Harry closed his eyes and summoned the memory of Hermione's smile before drawing out the communicating mirror and activating it.
"Harry?! Thank Merlin you're there, mate. I really need your help."
"Ron, are you in the loo?" Harry asked as he noticed the unusual backdrop of white tiles.
"Um, yes actually. Look, that's not important right now. Herms and I are at that Golden Diricawl place you booked us and I want to propose to her over dessert."
"Are you getting cold feet?"
"No, I kind of realised that I forgot the ring." You have got to be shitting me! "Could you be a real mate and… you know?"
"... fine. I can swing 'round your place and bring it over there. Where is it?"
"Ah. Well. When I said that I'd forgotten it I kind of meant that I hadn't bought it yet."
"Ron!"
"Shh! Keep it down will you? I'm supposed to be going to the loo here."
"How could you forget to buy the damn ring?!"
"I had a lot on my mind, alright? I need you to nip down to Diagon and get me a ring that Herms'd like." Harry closed his eyes and pulled up that memory of Hermione's smile yet again.
"You are going to owe me, Weasley." he said tiredly.
"You're the best mate a bloke could have, Harry. Listen, when you bring it down here use your cloak, alright? I don't want Herms to catch on to what we're doing. Oh, and see if you can find some way to present it to her. I don't want to have to do the kneeling thing. You should probably get a move on if you're going to get here by the time they're serving dessert." The mirror abruptly went blank and Harry took a moment to let his head drop back against the armrest in frustration. I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing it for Hermione. I'm doing it for her smile.
Painfully Harry heaved himself to his feet. I'll need to hurry if I'm going to get to Diagon before the stores close. Waving his wand, Harry Summoned his invisibility cloak and stuffed it into a pocket of his robes. He checked that he had his money pouch with him and focused on the courtyard behind the Leaky Cauldron before disapparating. He landed in the courtyard and stumbled as his hands shot to his wound and he gasped in agony. Gritting his teeth, Harry hurried into Diagon Alley looking for a jeweler that was still open. On either side of the street he could see shopkeeps locking up. There! Harry shambled into a run as best he could to where a wizard whose little remaining hair was white was closing up his shop.
"Excuse me, sir?" Harry gasped as soon as he got close enough. "I know that you're closing up and I'm really sorry, but could you see your way clear to let me buy something from you?" The man looked up and Harry saw his eyes widen with recognition. He looked to either side of the emptying alley before turning back to Harry.
"I'm really not supposed to, but for you, Mr. Potter…"
"Thank you." Harry said, forcing the pain from his mind as he was bowed into the shop. Once they were inside the shopkeep locked his door and hurried behind the counter.
"What can I help you with, sir?"
"I'm looking for a ring." The little man's eyes widened and Harry could see him forcing down his curiosity.
"Of course, sir. We have quite the selection." Harry studied the display case the man indicated. His eyes roved feverishly across the multitude of precious metals and stones. Which one would Hermione like? Harry noticed that one ring in particular was pulling at his attention. It was a silver-coloured band with a single, clear stone set into it which Harry assumed was a diamond.
"That one." he said with certainty. The man looked at him oddly.
"A-alright, sir." He took the ring from the case and placed it on the glass between them. "That will be 364 galleons, please." Harry drew out his money pouch and repeated the amount while he held it in two hands. The sound of clinking gold filled the room and Harry felt the pouch get heavier and heavier. When the sound stopped the shopkeep slid a box across the counter and Harry upended his pouch over it sending a stream of gold into what appeared to be bottomless depths. When the gold ran out the shopkeep closed the box and replaced it behind the counter.
"Thank you." Harry told the man as he picked up the ring and looked at it again. "Is there any way I can repay you for staying open this little bit longer?"
"Well,... that is, um, my daughter is a tremendous fan of yours. Would-… would you perhaps sign an autograph for her?" Bugger. I did offer.
"What's your daughter's name?" After signing the autograph Harry hurried out of the shop, clutching the ring in one hand, and made his way towards the apparition point. When he got there he focused his determination on getting to the Golden Diricawl and disappeared with a loud crack. This time when he landed Harry collapsed to the ground while both his hands flew to his side. Feeling a wetness on his shirt Harry brought the hand that wasn't holding the ring closer to his face; there was something dark on his fingertips. Fuck. I must have torn the wound apparating. Nothing for it now. Get in there, Potter and get that damn ring to Hermione. The sooner you do, the sooner you get home and the sooner you can try to get that wound closed again.
Harry forced his way to his feet while keeping one hand pressed to his ribs. He clumsily took out his cloak and draped it over himself. Under the cloak Harry became aware of how heavily he was breathing and after two shambling steps he realised that even his invisibility cloak wasn't going to let him go unnoticed. Grimly he cast a Silencing Charm on the cloak to keep any noises inside and made his way to the front door of one of the wizarding world's most prestigious restaurants. He opened the door and immediately hit the Maitre d'Hotel with a Confundus Charm so he wouldn't think too much about his door opening and closing without anyone coming in. He scooted past the man grateful that the Silencing Charm would mask his pained grunts and gasps.
In the dining room Harry easily spotted Ron's red hair sitting across from Hermione's chestnut curls. He wove his way through the diners to their table, barely managing to avoid crashing into something. When he got to his friends' table he found a waiter there setting the desserts on the table. Ron accepted his massive sundae with a nervous look on his face. Harry was surprised to see the waiter then set a Black Forest gateau in front of Hermione. She only eats that at really special occasions. Their day must have gone really well.
I think that gives me an idea. Harry moved the hand holding the ring away from his side and froze as he realised that it would be covered with blood. He quickly drew his wand and, without looking, Scourgified the ring. As the waiter left Harry saw his friends pick up their silverware and rushed to put his plan into action. Taking a step closer he kicked one of the back legs of Hermione's chair. As soon as she looked behind her in surprise his hand shot out from under the cloak and pressed the ring into the chocolate cake in front of Hermione with the stone facing up. He had his hand back under the cloak in less than a second. Unable to resist the sudden urge welling up in him, and knowing that he was under a Silencing Charm anyway, Harry began to speak.
"Hermione Jane Granger, since we were eleven you have brought light and warmth to my life. I would have gladly gotten down on my knees to give you this ring and beg you to be my wife. As it stands I am going to take this chance, which is no chance at all since you can't hear me, and tell you that there is no one I would rather spend the rest of my days with. Nothing, nothing, would make me happier than to have you become Mrs. Potter. I would not ruin your smile for all the world though and so I will say this only under a Silencing Charm: I love you and I can only wish you would marry me." Having said his piece Harry took a shuddering breath and forced himself to walk away from the table where Hermione was just turning back to her dessert. He made it to the Maitre's lectern before he heard Hermione's happy squeal of "Yes!Yes!Yes!". With tears blurring his vision Harry stumbled out the door of the restaurant and apparated home. The pain upon landing in his living room almost made him pass out and Harry didn't even contemplate trying to get up. Shakily raising his wand he summoned the first aid kit that he had kept in the house since the war, just in case. By the time it landed next to him he had managed to throw his cloak off and use a Switching Spell to get rid of his robes and shirt. Scrabbling fingers managed to grab the bottle labeled 'Essence of Dittany' and emptied it over his freely bleeding wound. Harry indulged in a scream of agony as there was no one around to hear him anyway. Once the little bottle was empty Harry dropped it and grabbed the one marked 'Blood Replenishing' and forced his trembling fingers to open it and pour it down his throat before dropping that too. He curled up where he was and let his misery wash over him. Fucking Death Eaters. Couldn't they at least have aimed properly? That or someone needs to think up a potion that can take away this pain in my heart. Tears still running down his cheeks, Harry Potter fell asleep on the floor of his living room.
:-:-:-:-:
"C'mon, Harry, look at least a little happy would you?" Harry Potter had not smiled since the day Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger had gotten engaged; the day the dull ache in his heart had become a permanent companion. His friends had noticed that he seemed more withdrawn and serious but they had apparently attributed that to the fact that he'd been forced to kill several Death Eaters when they rioted at Azkaban. In reality it was because he had forced himself to stay away from Hermione, afraid that he would snap now that she was that much closer to being forever beyond his reach. Damn it, I was supposed to be stronger than this. Anything and everything for her smile, Potter. That's what you vowed. At Ron's admonition though Harry tried to plaster a smile on his face that felt thoroughly fake.
The two were standing in an enormous pavilion in the Burrow's back garden, in front of a massive congregation of their family and friends, waiting for Hermione to join them. With them stood a stooped, old wizard with wisps of white hair that seemed to be hanging around his head like clouds.
"I guess everyone's here, huh?" Ron asked, his tone of voice making it clear that he was only talking as a way to deal with his nerves. "It's too bad for Robbards that he put me on probation or I would have invited him too. I mean it's not like you didn't cover my shift. He even gave you a promotion for that." Harry forced his head to move in a nod as he listened to Ron talking. The only reason I got a promotion was that we lost three senior aurors and another five who could have been their successors in the Azkaban Riot. "I wonder what they'll be serving at the reception. I'm really looking forward to some good meat courses." Harry heard the music starting up behind him and elbowed Ron in the side to shut him up. "Ouch! What was that for?"
"It's time." Harry said tonelessly. Together they turned to look at the end of the aisle. As the music swelled to become more impressive Hermione made her appearance. Dressed in a flowing white gown she walked towards them between the rows of guests on her father's arm. She looks… radiant. The pain in Harry's heart went from a dull throb to a sharp spike and he had to abandon his fake smile as he forced his face to not show a jot of what he was feeling. When they reached the steps leading up to where Harry and Ron were waiting Hermione's father kissed her cheek and let her go with visible reluctance. Hermione climbed the three steps to stand next to them. She gave Ron a beaming smile and laid her hand in his before they turned to face the old wizard who was officiating. Harry's eyes were fixed on Hermione as he heard the man begin the ceremony.
"Witches and wizards, we are gathered here today to witness the final completion of a bond. The two people before me have courted each other and their love and dedication to each other has grown; and today they have chosen to confirm that bond in front of you." The old man turned to the two people standing in front of him. "Do you each pledge your lives, magic and love to each other?" Under his breath Harry whispered his answer despite knowing that the question wasn't directed towards him.
"Every breath, spell and heartbeat are yours, Hermione, as they always have been." Harry couldn't even hear himself over Ron and Hermione's declarations of "I do."
"Then place these bands on each other's fingers and let the world know that you are bound this day." The old wizard handed Ron a simple gold band first. At least there was no chance of him forgetting this ring since it's brought along by the Ministry official. Ron smiled at Hermione as he slipped the ring onto her finger. Hermione took the other band from the old wizard and turned to Ron. She slipped the ring onto his finger. As soon as she let go both of them clutched their hands and started screaming.
It took a second for this bizarre development to register with the guests. Harry was the first to react as he leapt forward and ripped the ring off of first Hermione's finger and then Ron's almost panicking when he noticed that their ringfingers had turned black in a way that reminded him horrifically of Dumbledore's hand after he had tried to use the Resurrection Stone. Their screaming stopped once the rings were off, but both of them were still whimpering as they cradled their hands to their chests. The Weasley and Granger parents rushed up the steps to cradle their respective children followed closely by the rest of the guests.
"EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!" Harry's voice bellowed out over the crowd, bolstered by a surge of accidental magic, causing them to freeze before they rushed to retake their seats. "Someone get a Healer up here!" Confident that his order would be followed Harry started casting every diagnostic spell he had learnt at the Academy at the rings lying innocuously in his palm. Every single test was coming back negative.
"M-mr. P-potter?"
"What?!" he snarled as he was distracted from trying to find out who had cursed Hermione. The trembling official in front of him swallowed visibly before continuing.
"I believe that I may know what's going on."
"What then?" Harry asked forcing himself to not bite the man's head off; at least not before I get the information I need.
"Those wedding bands are enchanted as tradition dictates. While I've only ever heard of this effect it's clear that these two people violated one of those enchantments. Note their blackened fingers and-"
"Which, one?!" The official flinched back at the deadly hiss coming from the Saviour.
"The rings are enchanted to only accept a couple that has agreed to be bound. The enchantment was developed so that no one would be bonded to an impostor after that became a common way for scoundrels to trick their way into wealthy or influential families in the 1400s. No magic can hide or cure those blackened digits, except a successful bonding. That way their duplicity is revealed for all to see. This effect can only mean that one of these two is trying to come between an agreement to be married." An impostor? At Hermione's wedding?!
"Petrificus Totalus!" Harry whipped around at the incantation only to find Kingsley Shacklebolt standing over the frozen forms of Ron and Hermione being held by worried looking parents as a frightened looking man Harry assumed was the Healer backed away from the pair.
"If there's an impostor here we'll figure it out soon enough." the Minister spoke in what Harry assumed was supposed to be a reassuring voice. Harry stalked over to stand beside the older man.
"If I discover that one of you is an imposter who intended to harm my friends, you and I are going to have a very long... talk." he growled out. Kingsley had started casting identifying spells while Harry spoke. Harry found that he could recognise most of them, though there were clearly a few he still had to learn. That's for another time. For now I should focus on Hermione; and Ron. When Kingsley stopped casting Harry shot him a look.
"Neither of them are using any kind of active magic to change their appearance." he said sounding a little confused. "The only other option is a potion and the strongest potion that can accomplish something like this fades after an hour."
"Polyjuice."
"Exactly." Harry looked his friends over.
"If they are who they say they are perhaps we should lift the binding spells." he suggested to the Minister, who nodded. Once the Full Body Binds were lifted Hermione and Ron sagged into their parents. "Could the rings be faulty?" It was quiet as they all contemplated the problem.
"You try a ring on, Harry." Ron said all of a sudden drawing strange looks from the others around him. Harry was hit by a burning awareness of the rings he was still clutching in his hand. "It's as good a way as any to make sure that the rings aren't faulty."
"One of the rings by itself will not react to being worn, Mr. Weasley; they are wedding bands." the old official said.
"So Harry and Herms both put one on."
"And why not you and someone else?" Mr. Granger bit out.
"Don't be weird, Dick. Harry and I are both blokes." Mr. Granger's wordless growl made Ron scoot back a bit.
"And if the rings are faulty and they hurt Hermione like that again?" Harry asked his friend sternly. Ron looked at Mr. Granger and remained silent.
"I'm willing to take that risk if it helps us find out what's going on." Harry closed his eyes for a moment as he heard Hermione's voice. No. I don't want to see Hermione hurt any more. "Please, Harry?" Harry opened his eyes to see that Hermione was giving him a pleading look. Fuck. She just had to say it like that… At least this way you get to pretend that you're married to her for a few seconds. Harry tried to shake that thought off, but it wouldn't leave him alone.
"Alright." he relented before turning to the official. "Do we have to go through the ceremony again or will we know just by slipping them on?"
"Putting them on each other's fingers should tell you what you need to know. It-... it'll have to be the left ringfinger though." the old man said nervously. Harry gave the man a stiff nod and knelt down in front of Hermione. He held out his open palm and watched as Hermione took one of the rings. Once she had it Harry gently took Hermione's injured hand and slipped the ring he was holding carefully over her injured finger, his eyes never leaving hers. For just a reckless moment he didn't care about what the wonder in those beautiful orbs meant; he didn't have a thought to spare for any emotion that might be showing on his own face. For just one moment Harry could pretend that his love was returned. He felt Hermione's shaking hand take a hold of his and the cold metal of a ring slipping down the digit. Once the ring was all the way on Hermione hesitated for a moment before she let go.
When Hermione's fingers left the ring, both bands started to glow. The light coming from their fingers became bright enough that Harry had to shield his eyes. When the glow finally died down Harry was quick to inspect his finger, but found a perfectly healthy digit. That was strange. Perhaps they really are faulty.
"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Why didn't you tell us that you had pledged yourselves?"
"What?!" Harry blinked as his shout of surprise had been shared by six other voices.
"Hermione! Your hand!" Mrs. Granger exclaimed. Everyone's focus was directed to the shaking hand that Hermione was now holding up as she gaped at it; her entirely unblemished hand. Deep inside of him Harry felt an ember of hope begin to glow.
"You bastard! How could you?!" Harry's head was snapped back by an unexpected punch. Straightening up, he found himself confronted with a furious redhead with glowing red ears. "When did you steal her from me?!"
"I-... I don't know." Harry said feeling very confused about all of this. "Hermione's never been interested in me, Ron."
"Then how are you married to her, huh?!" Ron screamed, his eyes wide and wild. Harry saw a realisation forming in Ron's eyes half a second before the youngest Weasley son whirled around and stabbed a finger towards Hermione. "You!" he exclaimed as though he had just understood a cosmic joke. "You did this to me!" Harry didn't know what Ron was planning to do in his rage, but he did know that he wasn't going to wait and find out. He stepped between Ron and Hermione very deliberately.
"Ron, none of us know what's going on here. You want to think very carefully about what you say next, because you might not be able to take it back." Something in Harry's eyes must have given Ron pause because he slowly backed away towards his parents. Once he was sure that Ron wasn't going to make things more difficult than they needed to be Harry turned to the officiating wizard. "Sir, you are the expert here. Do you have any idea how Hermione and I could possibly be married?"
"This is still a magical ritual, Mr. Potter; intent matters. You and Mrs. Potter must have expressed an intent to get married at some point and somehow sealed that today." The stooped wizard raised his hands in an eloquent shrug as he spoke. Harry could feel his heart skip a beat when the old man referred to Hermione as 'Mrs. Potter'.
"Alright, Ron, Hermione, I understand that you are feeling uncomfortable and uncertain right now, but I need you to describe how you got engaged. The more detail the better." Kingsley said taking charge of the situation. Ron was the first to speak up.
"I took Herms out for a day and gave her the ring over dessert that night and she said yes."
"He said details, Ronald." Hermione snapped before launching into a description of the day they got engaged that included the estimated times of their bathroom breaks. "... and when I turned back I found my engagement ring in the gateau. It took me a moment to realise what was happening and then I said 'yes'." When she finished her story it was quiet around them for a moment before the old wizard who had been leading the ceremony spoke up.
"So Mr. Weasley never actually asked you to marry him? You just found the ring in your dessert and said yes?"
"Well, I suppose so, but I knew what he meant by it." Hermione defended herself looking worried.
"You believe that the proposal not being spoken out loud could have affected it?" Harry asked sharply.
"I do. May we see your engagement ring, Mrs. Potter?"
"Stop calling her that!" Ron snapped, his ears a glowing redder.
"Perhaps until we get to the bottom of this you could refer to her as Ms. Granger?" Kingsley suggested to the elder wizard in a tone that made it clear he was expected to go along with it. Even so, the official still looked like he wanted to object.
"Fine. May we see your engagement ring, Ms. Granger?" Because saying it like that's not going to set Ron off again at all. Hermione held out the hand that she wore the ring on. What the hell?!
"That's not the ring I-" Harry stopped himself from blurting out the rest of that sentence. "I mean: that's not the ring you got for Hermione, Ron; remember?"
"What? Of course it is!" Ron said sounding indignant.
"No, it's not. The engagement ring you gave her had a clear stone."
"You're delusional. It's always been red." Ron bit back before his eyes went suddenly wide.
"I have to agree with Ron here, Harry. The stone's always been red. I remember thinking how well it fit in with the cherries on the gateau." Hermione spoke up softly. Harry was definitely feeling nervous now. I know that damn stone was clear when I bought the ring. Whatever's going on here must have something to do with that ring!
"Um, you know, Herms, it probably wouldn't hurt to let the man inspect it just in case." Ron stammered out. Hermione's eyes narrowed as she studied him before she walked over to the official and thrust her hand out at him so he could look over her ring. The man was only bent over her hand for a moment before he was talking excitedly.
"Oh my! It's been years since I've seen one of these. Whoever pledged himself to you with a Blood Gem was serious about his commitment, Mrs.-... Ms. Granger."
"Blood Gem?" Hermione asked. Harry didn't even notice the fond smile dancing on his lips as watched Hermione hunt down new knowledge.
"A magical gem that is clear until a person's blood is added. They can be used and reused in many potions and rituals that demand the use of a witch or wizard's essence. To give one to someone else is an ultimate expression of trust."
"So, Harry was right. It must have been clear at some point."
"Right up until the moment he added his blood I should imagine." the old man agreed. Hermione's gaze had shifted to Harry who was feeling trapped by those beautiful brown orbs.
"Care to explain, Harry?" she asked softly, but with a clear expectation of being answered. Harry shot a quick look at Ron who was looking positively ashen.
"Sorry, mate. I have to tell her if we're going to get this sorted out."
"Tell me what?"
"When you two were out at dinner Ron went to the loo and called me on the mirrors. He'd forgotten to get you a ring and asked me to visit a jeweler's to get you one and then come to the restaurant under my invisibility cloak to find a way to present it to you. I found a silver-coloured ring with a clear stone that made me think of you so I bought it and apparated over. I got there just as the waiter was setting the desserts on the table. I kicked your chair to distract you and pushed the ring into your dessert so you'd notice it when you turned back." Hermione was giving Harry a searching look for a moment before it shifted to the man she had come here to marry.
"Ron? Is this true?" Ron just muttered something incomprehensible, but his bright red blush gave him away. "Ron, how could you?!" Ron just looked away and didn't answer her.
"But what about this blood thing?" Mrs. Granger wanted to know when it became clear that Ron wouldn't be talking.
"I, ah, may have kept it near a slight scratch and gotten some blood on it." Harry admitted as his hand unconsciously drifted to the twisting scar on his ribs. "I Scourgified it before I put it in Hermione's dessert though."
"Mr. Potter, unless you put the ring inside of this 'scratch' I am at a loss to explain this depth of colour." the official said before he quailed under the glare Harry was giving him. I do not need you giving Hermione something else to get worked up over, you git.
"Would the day you got engaged happen to coincide with the Azkaban Riot?" Kingsley asked suddenly.
"It was that same night." Hermione confirmed suspiciously.
"Harry, tell me you didn't apparate around after taking a dark cutting curse to the chest." Kingsley said.
"What?!" Hermione exclaimed, once again fixing Harry with a look which made him want to fidget.
"I used some Dittany and a Blood Replenisher when I got home." he muttered. "Besides, just because I bought the ring doesn't mean that Hermione and I got engaged. She said 'yes' to Ron."
"You are sure that you did not say anything that could be construed as an offer of marriage?" the official asked shrewdly.
"I was under a Silencing Charm. Hermione wouldn't have been able to hear anything I said." Harry pointed out rather than answering the question.
"Your magic would still have been tied to that offer. If the two of you ever courted then it might have been enough."
"Hermione never saw me that way."
"That's the second time you've said that." Mrs. Granger broke in. "You have so far rather carefully avoided saying anything about how you see my daughter." Harry felt a flash of panic as Mrs. Granger proved that she was every bit as observant as her daughter. Harry stared determinedly at his toes in an effort to avoid the question. He jumped when he felt slender fingers touching his cheek. His eyes came up to find Hermione standing right in front of him.
"Harry?"
"You were never supposed to find out." Harry admitted as his shoulders slumped. He had a perfect position to watch Hermione try to deal with yet another shock.
"Why not?"
"Because Ron made you happy. I couldn't take that away from you."
"How long?" No point in hiding anything anymore.
"Since the Hunt."
"And you never once thought to tell me how you feel?"
"I did." Harry explained about his plan during that fateful Christmas and how he had thrown it out the window when he had seen her smile when she talked about Ron. "I never understood how you could be so happy when you two fought so much, but it was enough for me to know that you were."
"You never understood because you never read any of his- his letters!" Harry jerked back a little as Hermione suddenly yelled out the last two words excitedly. "Ron and I agreed to get married in our letters. I have the one he sent me back inside." Hermione exclaimed. She had waved her wand before anyone else caught on to what was happening.
"Ron wrote you letters?" Harry asked in surprise.
"Every week. They were the reason I went from being interested to being in love." Hermione told him with a happy smile.
"And you made fun of me for-... Ron?" Harry had been intending to give the redhead a good, hard ribbing after all the crap he'd caught for his unsent letters once Ron found out about them, but when he turned to face his former roommate he found Ron looking horrified and shaking his head. Harry could only find one way to express the sinking feeling he was experiencing. "What did you do this time?"
"Ron?" There was something sharp to Hermione's tone as well which seemed to make Ron even more nervous. He was saved, or at least granted a reprieve as a parchment envelope zoomed over the guests' heads and landed safely in Hermione's outstretched hand. She immediately held it out to the officiating wizard. "Read that and tell me that that's not a proposal of marriage." she said slightly triumphantly, before her eyes flicked to Harry and guilt flashed across her face. Harry took a step closer so he could talk without their riveted audience listening in.
"It's alright, Hermione. I made my peace with this a long time ago. As much as I would love for this to be real, I made a vow to make sure that I would do anything and everything I could to keep that smile on your face."
"Oh, Harry." Hermione slipped her arms around him and gave him a careful hug.
"Ahem. Mrs.- Ms. Granger. This letter certainly sets out quite the commitment to marry you. Given the results of today's ceremony I must ask you if you are sure that it was Mr. Weasley who wrote these?"
"Of course I am. Who else would write me weekly love letters and sign them 'Ever yours'?" she asked in joking tone of voice. Harry paling was clearly not the answer she wanted. Her eyes looking ready to spit fire she slowly turned to face her fiance. "Was any part of our relationship real?" she growled in Ron's direction causing him to squeak like a trodden mouse.
"Wait, Hermione, I may have written you weekly love letters, but I never posted a single one. I threw them all away as soon as I wrote them so that-... well, so that something like this wouldn't happen." Harry said as he tried to figure out what was going on here. Hermione snatched the letter from the old wizard who had it hanging by his side while he watched the unfolding drama and shoved it into Harry's hands.
"Read it." she told him curtly. Harry was only three sentences in and already shaking with more emotions than he could name. It's one of mine. It's definitely one of mine. How…?
"How… how did you get this?" he asked. His throat felt dry and he was having a difficult time getting his thoughts to work. "This should have been Vanished. I was sure that it had been."
"I got it by owl post, Harry so I think we need to have a talk with the middleman." Harry's head came up and found his red-headed friend. There was a wet spot growing on his robes at about waist level as he was staring at a spot off to Harry's left where Harry knew Hermione was standing.
"What, did, you, do?" Harry growled at the man in front of him.
"Um, well, you see…." Ron stammered as he seemed to be looking around for an escape. Harry and Hermione moved as one and started advancing on him to cut off any possible escape.
"Speak!" Hermione snarled out.
"Harry was throwing them out anyway! You know I'm no good at that poncey stuff and this was an easy way to get you off my back about staying in touch." It's almost like his mouth is working without the brain attached.
"So Harry wrote the letters I fell in love with, nearly killed himself buying me my engagement ring and covering for your arse and maybe even asked me to marry him under a Silencing Charm. Were there any other parts of our relationship he was responsible for?" Hermione's voice was deadly calm. Ron's guilty expression gave her an answer even though he kept his lips firmly shut. Harry felt a touch on his shoulder that caused him to look to the side where he was caught by Hermione's steady gaze. "Harry, if you really love me I want you to answer me honestly: how much did you help Ron with our relationship?"
"Aside from what you mentioned? I bought him your Christmas and birthday presents, organised some of your dates, talked you down when you were angry at him, booked your honeymoon,... if there's anything else I can't think of it right now." Harry answered still locked into those eyes. Hermione studied him a moment before she nodded. Finally she turned back to Ron.
"So you used your best friend in a despicable manner, faked a relationship with me and generally treated the both of us like something you'd scrape off the soles of your boots while lying about it." Hermione's voice was once again deadly calm and sent a cold shiver down Harry's spine. I hope she never talks to me like that. "I always wondered why you seemed so different in person from how you were in your letters and now that I know, I feel like I should have seen it sooner. You know, I could have said that it was at least partially my fault for not seeing you for what you were if that had been all you'd done? For what you did to Harry and for what you stole from both of us though, I will never forgive you." Ron opened his mouth to respond but found himself knocked back by Hermione's fist hitting his face with a loud crunch. He staggered back with blood streaming from between his fingers where he held his probably broken nose. "Get out of here, Ron, or I'm drawing my wand." For a moment it looked like Ron would say something but he clearly thought the better of it and ran past the people standing on the dais, up the aisle and out of sight. Hermione glared after him until she couldn't see him anymore and then her shoulders slumped. Mrs. Weasley came up to her looking unusually subdued.
"I'm sorry about this, Hermione. I- I just don't know what to say."
"It's not your fault, Molly." Hermione tried to reassure the redheaded matriarch with a pained smile. Molly nodded and hurried off after her youngest son. Harry slipped an arm around Hermione as he saw the storm of emotions raging inside her play across her face.
"You alright?"
"No, but I think I will be. Better that this came out now than after I had married him."
"Well, that is why the rings carry the enchantments they do." they heard the old wizards dry voice. "Now, um, Ms. Granger-"
"Mrs. Potter." Hermione corrected him. Harry froze for a moment before a beaming smile began to spread on his face while a marvelous warmth spread through his chest.
"Really?" He felt like a child at Christmas with all his dreams on the verge of being unwrapped.
"It's going to take me some time to get used to it and I still want to know what words you used to propose and how you sealed our engagement into marriage, but yes: really." Harry let out whoop and wrapped Hermione up in a massive hug and spun her around as he tried to give the sheer joy tearing through him some kind of outlet. Hearing Hermione's laughter just made everything better. When he set her back down on her own two feet she was smiling that smile. The one that made him want to do anything to keep it there. To think that marrying her would accomplish that!
"Hermione, are you sure about this?" Harry looked up, almost surprised that the rest of the world wasn't just as happy as he was. Mr. and Mrs. Granger however were looking worried about this development.
"I am. It may take us some time to work out how to be a couple, but I feel confident that we both want this." Her parents didn't look entirely reassured. "Mum, you remember reading some of those letters with me, right? Do you remember what you told me about the person who wrote them?"
"That he must really love you." Mrs. Granger sighed.
"This is the man who wrote those. Because of those letters I know that I fell in love with the person behind them. I might have been wrong in who I thought the author was, but I don't think that I was wrong in my feelings for the author. It's just going to take some getting used to not seeing Ron's face when I think of those letters, but knowing what happened makes me determined to do that either way."
"Alright, dear. I suppose it's your life, but I do hope you know what you're doing." Mrs. Granger said still sounding unsure of the whole thing. Harry stepped up to Hermione's shoulder and held out his hand.
"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, I know we've never really gotten to know each other, but I hope that we can at least try. This isn't quite how I wanted to marry your daughter, but I can't deny that I am too happy that it came about at all at this point to be properly upset about that." Harry couldn't seem to stop smiling as he looked at the woman next to him. She's my wife. She's really my wife. And she wants to be. Mr. Granger took Harry's hand and shook it.
"Welcome to the family, I guess?" Mrs. Granger also shook his hand and repeated the sentiment.
"You'll have to come by for dinner some time." she told him. "I think the only way we're going to understand all this is to simply talk it all out. I will say that if you are the one who was writing Hermione those letters, then I will trust that you at least mean well."
"Thank you. I think that Hermione and I will have a lot to talk about as well." Harry said as he took Hermione's hand in his own, revelling in the fact that he could do so without having to hide the tenderness that the simple, little action made him feel. "Hermione, if you want we can use the honeymoon booking as a vacation to get away from things for a while, just the two of us, and try to find out who we are."
"Where would we be going?"
"Three and a half weeks in central America. You always talked about wanting to see the Aztec and Mayan ruins and learning about their culture, magical and muggle. The last week is on the island where Sirius hid from the aurors the summer after third year. I thought you might want to have some time focus entirely on each other."
"It really isn't any wonder Ron was such a fantastic boyfriend with you helping him. I would love to go."
"Ahem. Before you do I should give you this." Harry started at hearing the old wizard's voice behind him. I had completely forgotten that that bloke was there. He was holding out a piece of parchment that looked very official with a large wax seal on it. "This is your wedding certificate. Congratulations again Mr. and Mrs. Potter and thank you for one of the most exciting weddings it has ever been my pleasure to officiate. Best of luck to you both." Once a slightly stunned Hermione had taken the document from his hands the old wizard seemed about to turn away when he suddenly clapped his hands. "I almost forgot. In all the excitement you missed the best part. Ahem. Mr. Potter? You may kiss the bride." Harry looked at the beautiful woman next to him and wrapped his arms around her.
"May I really, Mrs. Potter?" he whispered with a smile pulling at his lips.
"Of course, Mr. Potter." she replied with a similar smile fighting to break out on her face. Harry lowered his lips to Hermione's and did his best to etch this moment, this first kiss with the woman he had dreamt of for so long, into his memory so that he would never forget it. Harry didn't know how long he stood there kissing Hermione, but when they came back to the real world all he saw were Hermione's sparkling eyes. "Hmmm. We're going to have to do that some more as we get to know each other." she nearly purred. Harry felt his heart skip a beat as if it was confused about which extremity to send his blood shooting towards.
"About that vacation then?"
"When do we leave?"
"Tonight. I'll let Robbards know that I have a family emergency and won't be in for a month. Heck, I'll tell him that I have a family. I think he'll understand." Hermione's musical laugh made Harry feel like the whole world had just tilted. Except it feels like it's finally tilted back on to its proper axis. With their arms around each other the two Potters turned to face the applauding crowd that had watched the spectacle that was their marriage. You know, for once it may be a good thing that nothing around me can ever just be normal Harry thought as he walked up the aisle with Hermione Potter on his arm and their life together ahead of him.
AN: So, yeah, like I said not my usual subject matter. I have to admit that this has turned out a little angsty for my taste and that I was reminded of all the reasons why magical weddings bug me in these kinds of fics (it's very hard to see where the legal bit stops and the magical bit starts and why there is a magical bit at all aside from the fact that magic exists). Anyway, it was a fun way to spend the weekend.
Until next time: happy reading.
LeQuin