Author's Note:

Harry Potter is a book series created by J.K. Rowling and published by Scholastic Inc. As such, the rich world and characters Rowling created are not owned by some smutty nobody posting on . Duh. This story was written for entertainment purposes only, and was not intended for profit.

Also, this story is for mature audiences due to the massive amounts of sexual situations and encounters. (This is called "Hogwarts Harem"... you figure out why). Because of the nature of this story, it's also not written to be canon. The story takes place in an alternate Book 8 timeline, and can be read as a parody of sorts.

It should also be noted that this story is not a sequel to either of my previous Harry Potter fanfics. This is a stand-alone.

Harry Potter and the the Hogwarts Harem
by C.M. Lacey

Chapter One: Hannah Abbott.

Emerging from an empty fireplace, Harry Potter appeared in the Leaky Cauldron. Dusting himself off from the remnants of Floo Powder and ash, Harry coughed somewhat, then straightened out his robed. It had been a few weeks after the defeat of Lord Voldemort, and the idea of this would have seemed unreal to Harry if it hadn't been for all the fans and well-wishers he kept encountering of late. He had always been famous, but never universally liked by the majority of the Wizardry community. It was as if they had forgotten all the times they had turned on him when ever the Daily Prophet printed lies about him. Still this wasn't necessarily a bad thing, even if it did seem a bit two-faced.

The reason for Harry arriving in Diagon Alley was because Professor McGonagall, the new Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had asked him, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger, to finish out their last year of schooling. They had already received Honorary Diplomas, so Harry at first intended to decline. However Hermione had talked him into it, stating the appealing idea that for once they could go to school and not have some sort of crisis on their hands. Just having to worry about classes and school activities seemed like the perfect vacation from what his life had been the last year or so. Sleeping in a cozy dorm room instead of camping out in the wild did have it's appeal.

Ron was quick to point out the moronic nature of returning back to school. The three of them had accomplished something that grown wizards and ordinary Hogwart's graduates could not. As a team, they destroyed forever the worst dark wizard in history. Ron argued that the school couldn't teach them anything new, and they should bank on their new status as heroes to land cushy jobs within the Ministry, but Hermione was on a different mind on the matter.

"You can't survive on your laurels, Ron!" Hermione had lectured to the both of them back then. "Once the novelty of defeating Voldemort wares off-"

"The novelty of defeating You-Know-Who?" Ron had fought back, marveling at such a statement. "Are you completely mental?"

Hermione ignored the insult and explained. "Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald and still had to make a living by becoming a teacher. If someone as accomplished and brilliant as Dumbledore had to do something like that, then where does that leave us?"

Harry was on two minds on the matter, but in the end he felt Hermione had a point. Perhaps he could get an apprenticeship in the Auror's Department, but he'd be missing a whole year of schooling. So it was for this very reason that Harry had agreed to go along with Hermione for his Seventh year at Hogwarts. Since he was returning, this required him to purchase the equivalent years worth of books and supplies.

Still Harry was no fool. Knowing full well that going to a place like Diagon Alley, a magical community jammed packed with Wizards, might be some sort of a problem, he decided to take some precautions. If he got bombarded by people wishing to shake his hand, hug him, or even kiss him, he would never get far into the magical marketplace to buy what he needed. Luckily for him, Hermione still had a draft of Polyjuice Potion left over from their adventure abroad and she agreed to lend him some. The only task now was to find someone in the Leaky Cauldron near his age to take a sample of.

Unfortunately Harry had next to no chance of scouting the place before a number of hands jetted out of nowhere offering a shake. He then was pulled into several embraces and received multiple pats on the back accompanied with giant praise. Being as polite as he could, Harry gave them what they were wishing, and waited for the crowd to disperse. He couldn't believe out long it took for them to return to whatever it was they were doing before he turned up. The last of the stragglers was Dedalus Diggle, who Harry had to physically pry himself from.

"Hullo Harry." A round face boy called out to him after he managed to get away.

"Hello Neville." Harry returned the greeting, relieved to see a familiar face.

"I read in the Prophet that you're going back to Hogwarts." Neville spoke excitedly. "I wish I could go back with you, but I already graduated."

Harry had heard this before from several of his old classmates, but he actually would have enjoyed going back to school with Neville. "It'll be interesting sharing a dorm with a new set of Gryffindors."

"Come to buy some school supplies?"

"Yep… maybe I might splurge and get a new broom while I'm at it."

"Oh? What happened to that Firebolt?"

"Lost it when I was on the run." Harry told him. "I'm sure I'll be needing another broom for Quidditch this year, so I'm hoping to find something that's not to expensive."

"Don't you have loads of money though?" Neville remembered.

"I have enough."

Harry never really talked about how much money his parents left him, but it also wasn't a secret either. For Neville to know about this wasn't that strange. Nevertheless Harry was often surprised to find out that occasionally people knew he had a small fortune. Combined with the money that Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin left him, Harry was pretty wealthy.

"Good luck dealing with all the people out there." Neville chuckled.

Harry jumped at the opportunity. "That reminds me, mind if I borrow a hair or something of yours?"

Neville blinked a dumbfounded look. "Why?"

Reaching into his ropes, Harry produced the vile of Polyjuice Potion. He popped the cork and let Neville look at it. Neville groaned and gave Harry a pitiful look. "You know I'm no good at potions, can't you just tell me what that is?"

"It's Polyjuice Potion." Harry told him.

It took a moment for that to register in Neville's mind. "Oh! That's the gunk that makes you look like other people, right?"

"Right. If I look like you, I might have a bit of an easier time. That is, if you're okay with that."

"No, no, that's a good idea." Neville nodded, then yanked a hair from his head. He winced as he did so, but all the same gave Harry the hair. "Isn't that stuff gross?"

"It's the worst thing you'll ever drink." Harry told him as he added the hair. The vile bubbled from the reaction of Neville's hair then emitted a mossy mold smell. Both boys pulled their heads back instinctively from the smell of it.

"Blimey, that smells disgusting."

"Still smells better than Crabbe or Goyle ever did…" Harry grimaced, but pulled the vile to his lips. "Well… cheers!" And with that, he knocked back the potion.

It was as disgusting as he remembered it. As many times as Harry had drank it, he never got used to the taste. He gagged, but in moments his stomach felt sick. He resisted the urge to vomit, and braced himself against Neville's shoulder. Soon he found his clothes were getting tighter and his eye sight more fuzzy. When he took off his glasses he saw the real Neville's face shine with amazement.

"That is completely weird."

"I know the feeling. I saw a handful of people change into me once. Anyway, I better be off. I only have about 30 minutes or so, and I better make the best of it."

"Okay." Neville waved at him as Harry left the inn. "I'll see you later... Neville."

The street was busy on Diagon Alley, as usual, and at first Harry was scared on what would happen once he started mingling among them. But the Neville-face was working it's magic, and Harry soon found that most people ignored him. As quickly as possible Harry traveled to the various shops picking up everything he needed. He had been smart enough to appear in Gringotts the day before to withdraw his money. Not surprisingly they weren't happy to see him again, as he did crash a dragon through the place on his previous visit. After he bought all the essentials, Harry dropped off all the supplies back at the Leaky Cauldron for safe keeping (Tom said he would look after them) then wandered back towards Quality Quidditch Supplies.

In the window were displayed the fastest brooms in the Wizardry World: Nimbus 2000, Nimbus 2001 and the Firebolt. Harry knew they were expensive, but also knew that he couldn't settle for something lesser than a Nimbus 2000. He could practically hear Hermione scolding him for even thinking about buying something so "useless". But to him a good fast broom was something worth buying, even if he wasn't going to play Quidditch.

"Hello Neville." a young girl's voice spoke from the ambient noise of shoppers around him.

Harry continued to look at the brooms, pondering on whether or not he should buy what he really wanted, the Firebolt, or get something slower but cheaper. But the girl's voice called for Neville again. Suddenly it occurred to him that he was Neville. Spinning around he saw the blonde hair girl from his old graduating class, Hannah Abbott.

"Oh, sorry, I was … just looking." Harry said lamely. Oddly enough that sounded exactly like Neville Longbottom.

"I thought you were scared of flying." Hannah spoke more as a statement than a question.

"Er… I…" Harry couldn't think of a good excuse. Suddenly he seemed more aware of the time. He had been Neville for a good while now, and he had to figure out what he was going to do before the potion wore off. He didn't have time to chat with Hannah, especially if she thought he was someone else. "Well you see, Harry Potter gave me some money and asked me to buy him a broom. But I didn't know what model I should get him, so I was trying to figure out what to do."

Hannah blinked and looked at the brooms in the window. "I'm sure he'd want that Firebolt, right? I mean, he did ride those… and once you've had something like that before there's no going back. I think he'd be really disappointed if you got him something else."

There was no fighting that logic. "Still… it's really expensive."

"He gave you enough gold for it, didn't he?" Hannah tilted her head.

"He has enough."

"Then come on." Hannah grabbed his chubby hand and dragged him into Quality Quidditch Supplies.

The choice was made for him. Hannah ordered the broom with a flair, and forced Harry-Neville to pay the shop keeper. Once they had walked out of the shop with the gleaming broom in their possession, Hannah still didn't leave his side. Harry knew any moment he would revert back to his normal self and he had to ditch Hannah in some way.

"I guess I better give this to Harry." He said lamely.

"I'll come too."

That didn't work. Suddenly his vision got blurry in one eye, then the other. It was starting.

"Sorry! I gotta go!"

"Wha-? Neville, hold on!"

But he didn't wait. Having no choice Harry bolted in a mad dash towards a small alleyway in between two shops, hoping that Hannah got blocked in between the massive amount of shoppers he passed so she couldn't follow. Once away from prying eyes Harry gave a sigh of relief as slowly but surely his body began to revert back to his normal self. Holding his new Firebolt with one hand, he placed his glasses on with the other. He felt… lighter… and smaller. Now that he was back to normal he had another problem, how was he going to get back to the Leaky Cauldron and not be surrounded by a mob of people.

"Neville, why'd you run away?" Hannah's voice sounded at the entrance of the alley. There was no where to go, the back of the alley really was a wall to another shop. Even if there wasn't a brickwall behind him, Hannah was too close and would have seen him run away. The only thing in the alley that he could have possibly hidden in was a wooden box, but since it was the only object in the alley, it was an obvious hiding place.

"Neville, are you…" But her blue eyes caught sight of him. "Harry? What are you doing here?"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck trying to think of something. "I was trying to avoid the crowds."

Hannah nodded with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, an out of way alley definitely isn't a hotspot for anyone. Did you send Neville to get you that Firebolt and just hid here all this time?"

That sounded like a good enough excuse as any. "Yeah. Pretty dumb, huh?"

Hannah smiled slightly. "Yeah, I guess so." She looked around, the deeper they were in the alley, the more invisible they were to the passing people. "You picked the perfect hiding spot. That shop is at an angle so unless you duck in this corner and turn right, no one would ever see it."

Harry just happened on the alley by chance, but agreed with her anyway. She walked closer to him and leaned against the wall, staring at him. He had gotten stared at almost everyday since he was eleven, but most of those stares were out of curiosity. It was unnerving to be stared at for admiration. Suddenly he felt really uncomfortable.

"Please stop staring at me." He asked lamely.

"I'm sorry." Hannah spoke in a quiet voice. "It's just… well I never thanked you."

"I had no choice… and anyone would have defeat Voldemort if they where able too. It just happened that I was the person who was meant too. No need to thank me for that. If some sodding prophecy said that you were the person to defeat him, you would have."

"I'm not talking about that." Hannah blushed, flinching slightly from hearing Voldemort's name. "Don't you remember what happened? I guess you don't… it was the middle of all that madness."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Well, during that battle at Hogwarts, You-Know-Who sent a curse my way. You blocked it with a shield charm and saved my life. You saved me personally. Then… then I saw you defeat You-Know-Who. It's just… well I think that I should thank you personally as well, you know, for what you did. I mean… I was there and saw everything."

"There isn't any need to do that." Harry told her again. "But… you're welcome, I guess."

Hannah raised her eyebrows and gave him a mocking smirk. "'You're welcome?'"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know what to say when someone thanks me for saving their life. There isn't really a handbook that tells you how to respond to that."

Leaning closer to him, Hannah studied him some more. "I'm not sure if a 'Thank You' is enough for what you did for me either. You saved everyone, sure, but you actually took the time to look after me as well." She looked away from him shyly for a moment, the wheels in her head clearly turning.

Harry watched her, and felt more uneasy. She was really close to him now, practically leaning over him. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you plenty at Hogwarts, right? You have to retake your sixth year so you'll be coming back as well. I'll be happy that at least some of the members of Dumbledore's Army will be back at school."

Hannah wasn't listening to him, even though her eyes were now gazing into his. Then she whispered. "Be quiet for a moment."

Harry swallowed and nervously stared at her. She closed her eyes and leaned her face into his. The next moment, her lips were pressed against his in a soft kiss. It was a good kiss, but shocking at the same time. Harry would have backed away, but he already was leaned against a brick wall. When he pulled back, she just pushed forward, making the kiss more intense. When she pulled away, both of them were out of breath.

"I'm sorry I just did that." She said, looking down his front.

"No… it felt good." Harry told the truth, even if he felt strangely scared.

It was true that technically he wasn't in a relationship at the moment, but he still felt himself connected with Ginny Weasley. Did that kiss count as cheating? He wasn't sure. Suddenly he felt something rubbing the outside of his pants. Wide eyed, he looked down to see Hannah's hands massaging the bulge that had apparently sprung during the heated kiss.

"I guess it really did feel good." Hannah whispered again.

"Hannah…" Harry felt extremely embarrassed. "I… I didn't mean…. it kinda just…"

But Harry forgot what he was saying when he saw her unzip his pants and reach a hand inside. Her hands delicately found his manhood from within his boxers and lightly caressed him. Harry felt powerless. He wanted to push her way and run as fast as he could, but she had him, holding on to him lightly in his most sensitive area of his body. Her fingers danced slowly around his shaft, causing pleasure jolts throughout his body. Some wicked part of him didn't want her to stop.

"You're getting really big." Hannah observed.

The blonde lightly freed his penis out from his clothing from the hole provided by his downed zipper. She stared down at it protruding out, then softly wrapped all her fingers around the base. Then the girl moved her hand forward slowly until it reached the tip, then reversed her course and went back down. Harry shuttered with pleasure from that movement, all willpower completely dead.

"Does it feel good?" She whispered in his ear. Harry couldn't answer her, his whole body so sensitive that her lips brushing against his ear lope felt good.

Hannah didn't need a response. Her hand set to work. At first slowly she moved her hand back and forth, occasionally letting her finger nails lightly skim the bottom of his member. As she sensed that Harry was getting more into the motion, she firmed up her grasp and increased her jerking speed. Harry's body seemed to turn to jelly and stiffen all at the same time. His toes were curled up as far back as they could go, anticipating the ultimate release that would come if this action where to continue.

"The sounds you're making are really cute." Hannah told him, not breaking stride.

Harry wasn't aware he was making sounds. For a brief moment he tried to pay more attention, but only heard his labored breathing. He soon forgot this as he felt her hand stop moving. Earlier he wanted nothing more than to run away from the situation, now all he wanted was for her to continue. It was the only thing he could think of. She was looking down at his penis, and at first Harry wasn't sure what she was doing. Then he saw a small stream of clear liquid escape her mouth. The hot saliva dripped on his member and coated around making it extremely wet.

"Round 2." Hannah announced playfully.

She continued her fast paced motion, moving back and forth, but this time on a slippery surface. Now Harry heard himself groan lightly as a squishing noise came from Hannah's hand moving up and down his member. It was like his whole body was in a pleasurable electrocution. Whenever it seemed like the lubrication was drying, Hannah supplied more. She wasn't content with watching his penis anymore, she stared at his face, proud of her work, willing for him to finish because of her efforts.

She was not disappointed, Harry wanted the same thing. In fact it was the only thing he wanted. He felt as if he were about to burst. Sensing this, Hannah stroked him faster. How she could move her hand so quickly, Harry didn't know. She whispered in his ear again, but he was beyond understanding her. His body felt as if it was going to explode.

"Do it!" Hannah ordered, more loudly. "Cum for me!"

Harry hips lurched forward at her request and did as he was ordered. He sprayed his seed in several spurts, feeling blissfully drained. Hannah handled him delicately for a moment, allowing him to recover, then cleaned him up and placed his humming manhood back inside his trousers. She gave him a playful smile and turned to leave.

"H-Hannah-" Harry blinked a few times, his brain still sluggish.

"Thank you, Harry. Thank you for saving my life." And with that she left him in the alleyway.

"You're welcome." Harry muttered breathily.

Note:

Since there is no telling if this story will deleted, it can also be viewed on FictionPad and Archive of our Own. Just search for the title of the story or my username Glee-chan / GleeChan. Here is the url, as best as I can give on FFnet: archiveofourown dot org /works/9531002/chapters/21551309 .