Author's blah-blah: I am back, but I don't know if I still have that touch. I already made the chapters for 'Me Gustas', 'Exit Wounds', 'Cat-astrophe' and 'Other than you' . I guess we will just have to see. If there's a positive feed back then I'd definitely post those other chapters. Again, I am sorry for the mistakes. No one edited this thing for me. I just went on ahead and pounded on the keyboards with my ideas. It's my sort of birthday gift for myself- the updating of my chapters and all.  Pls. review and pls. be gentle.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, nor gain profit by mentioning Ricky Martin and the Cheey Girls' song here.  I am just a poor Art Studies student, nothing more, nothing less^_^

For Jessica, Lady Adrianne and Pishsie Momo

         I love you…not!


         Despite the loud verbal protest, Integra's expression didn't change. She looked really sick, so sick that she sat back down on her chair while massaging her temples restlessly. "I heard so many what  do they call that … er…yaoi stories but I- I-"

         Ceras knelt beside Integra, clasping the older women's knees. Integra looked the more disgusted as if she swallowed a portion of a ghoul's dismembered arm. She pointed a finger at Ceras and said almost accusingly she ordered, "Your hands, get your hands away from me. Are you initiating that thing that er- " Unable to continue, Integra resorted to hand gestures. 

         When realized that she was acting like a fool, Integra suddenly stood up toppling Ceras on the process. The Hellsing leader quickly went to open all windows for her to get some fresh air while all the time mumbling, "No yaoi no yuri here." Clearly, things were too tough for her to handle.

         Being overseas for quite a number of times, Ceras knew what Integra was talking about. The Yaoi and Yuri were terms she grew quite accustomed to since she collects those stuff herself, doujinshi to be exact.  She giggled but her amusement was cut short when Integra's I'll-mutilate-you-in-seconds patented glare silenced her.

         "What's so funny?!" Integra demanded before sourly returning back to her seat, obviously embarrassed by her lack of inhibition.

         Ceras meekly stood and smoothed her wrinkled short skirt and was once again shot with that awful glare. She can't help but wonder about the level of monstrosity Integra can acquire if and when she allowed to be a vampire. Seeing a cold and composed Integra is scary enough what if she turned into this…

         Ceras thoughts were disrupted when a very fractious Integra crossed her arms over her chest and waited for further explanation. Usually, the Hellsing leader would have ordered that stuttering girl out of her office but she had to admit she was curious on what she reported to her.

         "Well, are you going to just stand there and cower before me?"

         "Well, no."

         "Then continue, you've wasted much of my time already."

         Ceras bit her bottom lip hard, although who sits before her is a mortal, one that she can quickly kill with ease she still can't rid her fear of her. Once again, she contemplated as to why Integra exuded an aura of superiority and coldness, one that can blow frost over and threaten creatures physically stronger than her.

         "Integra-sama," She began looking down on her boots.

         Integra cleared her throat and apprehensive red eyes meet the cold blue ones.

         Suddenly there was no room for hesitation, words flowed uncontrollably out of her mouth. "Alucard, my master is visiting Walter for 2 nights now. After you've gone to sleep, he would always sneak out of his room and go to Walter's room and leave around morning usually before you wake up."

         Integra didn't expect this. Curious, she asked some questions "Then what? Do you know what they are doing?"

         "I only heard them, I am much of a coward to actually sneak in but when I pressed my ear to the door  one time and I heard the most annoying sound ever."

         Integra wanted to react violently but she remained composed as she leaned back on her seat. She could only conclude two things, (1) Alucard and Walter planning something for her or (2) They, he and him ergh! Integra looked away disgusted by the images presented to her mind.

         "What's that sound you heard?" Integra asked shaking her head to remove those vile thoughts away.

         "But there's something more I have to talk to you about Integra-sama. You see, what's also odd is the fact that my Master dresses weirdly everytime he visits Walter's room. Instead of his usual clothes he usually wears black leather pants, tight fitting shirt or sometimes all leather accessories, clothes and all. One time, I caught him carrying a whip."

         Integra looked like she she was ready to faint.

         Ceras looked flabbergasted, Integra wasn't handling the situation well, she looked green and ready to throw up. Though she wants to stop now, she still hasn't got to the end of the story. "But there's more…"

         Integra wearily looked at her, they are planning something evil and she might not be able to take it this time.

         "You know the Ricky Martin song?"

         "How could I forget?" Integra asked.

         "Ok… Then how about the cheeky song by those Romanian girls?"

         "What cheeky song?"

         Ceras spent the next few minutes explaining what's the song is all about and Integra only responded with a blank stare.

         Finally tired, Ceras sighed and said, "It's no use, if you don't watch MTV or at least listen to the Radio then I would really have a hard time explaining it you."

         "I read reports and attend meetings and I don't have time to sit around the couch and watch MTV all day." Integra spat out clearly mad.

         Ceras tapped a finger in her mouth trying to think of a way to 'educate' Integra."I only know one who has that copy in this house both in video and audio format and it's Walter and it's in his room." She replied cautiously.

         The older blonde looked at the younger one in shock, "Are you suggesting we sneak in?"

         "Yes and no."

         Integra rolled her eyes and went to the open windows to think. If she sneaked in with Ceras they might uncover what those two are planning before it's too late but there's a possibility that they would get caught. But then she was too traumatized at what Alucard did to her on Valentine's day that she'd be willing to be risky to save herself.

         And besides, she's really curious, not interested but just Curious

Integra swallowed hard, her pride along with it her commonsense"Um, We go there but only to show me that Chick song"      

"Integra-sama, it's Cheeky song."

"Ok, the Chicky song, who created that song for chicks soon they'll have a Chicken song." Integra speculated in disgust as she placed her gun on her inside pockets. If she's going to war with those two, she better be prepared.

"Um, it's the CHEEKY song."

"I know the Chicky song."

"No, it's like -" Ceras blushed as she tried to emphasize what she's trying to explain, she was helplessly cupping her hands and squeezing something invisble.

Integra frowned, "What are your doing?"

"Trying to explain?" She answered timidly.

Integra was walking out of her office in total fury, "This is not some bloody charade, if you want to say something, say it aloud otherwise I would leave you alone!"

Unable to censor the words, she succumbed to the inevitable, "Ok… It's Butt cheeks ok? Bum, butt, ass and what you might call the 'behind'!" Ceras spat out in frustration.