She slowly lowered herself into the old wingback chair. It could have seated 3 more of her, and she pondered that fact as her fingers lightly traced the gilded leaves soullessly and mechanically imprinted apon the fabric.
p
Here she was, back in the Queen's chair. Her mother's chair. Queen Brahne's fucking chair.
p
Queen Brahne? Heh. No. Queen Garnet Til Alexandros. Her. In her chair. How appropriate.
pi
Well mother, look at your darling daughter now. Your perfect angel. Your successor. How does it feel? ...Does it feel? Can you see me? Hear me? Feel me? What can the dead do?
p/i
She paused.
pi
Is Zidane with you, Brahne? May I call you that? I mean, why bother with formalities now? You're dead. And I wasn't your daughter. Somewhere there's a tiny horn, hidden in the fiery underbelly of this castle, of this empire, of history in general, that proves that I am Sarah. Not Garnet. Certianly not Dagger. Imagine... hiding from a royal lineage that never existed. Oh, the world has certianly made a damned fool out of me.
p/i
She lowered her head, and her eyes closed.
pi
Zidane... I am broken. Without you, I am broken. I have shattered. I am a child. I loveyouneedyoumissyouwantyouhere. Your arms are where I belong and... your arms... your... arms... your.. no. I can't think about you, this, place, no, no. NO. NO NO NONONONONO.
p/i
Sobs wracked her tiny body. She was curled in the fetal position now, trying desperately to worm her way into the corner of the cusion, to hide.
pi
Are you taking care of me? Do you love me and miss me? Do you die for me like I live for you? Do you cry out for me? Where are you? The night terrors get worse and worse. Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU ZIDANE TRIBAL I WANT AN ANSWER WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU COME HOME PLEASE?! I'm so lost. So broken. Your unwavering loyalty is sickening. It was never mine but here I sit with this pipe dream that you will come walking back in to my life.
p/i
Her head rested on the wooden arm of the chair, her charcoal hair hanging limply from the side, and her tearstreaked face hidden, pressed into the fabric.
pi
If you do, I regret to inform you that there will be a life no more. Tonight, your brothers have come to put on a show, Zidane. Maybe you remember it... It's called "I Want To Be Your Canary". Our show. I was your canary... under your hands I would sing. Now my perch is broken and my seed is gone, my voice is silenced without my master, so I will be no more. I shall fly away and escape. All endings are tragic, as tragic as the poison I have stolen from the Knights of Pluto for my tea. After the show, I will retreat to my room, pour this precious bane into my steaming brew of rose hips and orange peel, sip my alchemic delight, lie down in my bed, and wait for sweet release to claim me.
p/i
Her smile, small, grew gradually larger.
pi
Oh Zidane my sweet... I will see you soon. In your arms I will fall, shedding tears of joy. You can tell me where you've been, tell me what happened... we will be together forever in eternal paradise.
p/i
...Any moment now, Steiner will come to my chambers, telling me it is time to watch the show. With feigned interest I will lean apon my balcony, remembering the eve of my sixteenth year on which I met you... and soon after that my love, we will be joined again. Don't worry. We won't wait any longer.
p/i
A knock came apon the chamber door.
p
"Steiner?" Garnet called, quickly regaining her poise.
p
"Yes my queen," he said, "The show is about to begin!" Garnet smiled softly.
p
"I'll be out in a moment."
p
She thrust the vial of poison between the cushions of the chair.
pi
I am broken now Zidane, but I will see you soon...
p/i
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p
disclaimer: I own nothing of the FF9 universe or Squaresoft. No sue-y, por favor.