Author's Note: This is a But I'm a Cheerleader songfic for Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko. It's a modern high school AU. This is part of a series I'm planning, of But I'm a Cheerleader fics. I think this is the longest oneshot I've ever written. The lyrics are bold and italicized. I hope you enjoy it! WARNING: This fic contains sexual content, internalized homophobia, homophobia, misogyny, internalized misogyny, homophobic slurs, underage drinking, mild violence, mentions of food, anxiety disorders and attacks, and underage sex.


Boys

Megan smiles as Jared tells his story of a new football win. She has no interest in it, really. But she's trying to be a good girlfriend. And when he puts a hand on her thigh and leans in, she sighs and kisses him.

It's not that he's a bad boyfriend. Not really. He's a popular jock, and he takes her out on nice dates, and listens to her when she talks about her own social life. He's handsome.

But when Megan has dreams that make her wake up sweating and flushed, she doesn't remember his face (or other parts). She remembers soft pink lips, and short brown hair, and dark eyes. Nothing else. Not enough to put together a face. Besides, she knows too many people with brown hair and dark eyes.

She wonders if perhaps he just doesn't do it for her. It's certainly a possibility. Maybe he's not her type. Maybe she just likes guys who're smaller, or smarter, or just different somehow.


Stealin' kisses from your misses

When Megan gets a text from Graham, her best friend (not that she'd ever tell any of her other friends that, though), she's curious. It's late, past 11. Graham rarely texts her this late on weekdays, unless there's an emergency.

She opens it, and lets out a little undignified squeal at what she sees. It's a nude pic. From Graham. Megan begins panicking. What does this mean? Why did she send me this? Why am I so flustered by it?

Before Megan's brain sends her into a full-blown anxiety attack, her phone buzzes again. She closes her eyes, and counts to ten, taking deep breaths. She slowly looks at her phone.

'im so sorry, megan, that was meant for somebody else. Rlly hope I didn't make u uncomfortable.'

Megan lets out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. The picture wasn't meant for her. Of course it wasn't. She deletes the pic, and types back a response.

'It's ok! It was just a bit of a shock. Goodnight Graham, see you at school!'


Does it make you freak out?

When Megan wakes up that morning, she's red-faced, and shaky. Another dream. Perfect.

She knows that everybody gets wet dreams, not just guys. Still, they're embarrassing, even if she doesn't have to do more laundry every time she has one. She gathers her clothes together, and heads to the bathroom for a shower.

As she washes, she's suddenly hit with a memory form her dream. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no. She remembers a pair of breasts. Not just any breasts either. The pair that she had accidentally been sent a picture of last night.

She shakes her head in a futile attempt to clear it. It's just hormones, and my weird brain working through things. That's all. Nothing more. I'm straight. Graham's gay, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to her or that she's attracted to me. We're just friends.


Got you fussing, got you worried

As Megan heads into History, and sits at her desk next to Graham, she's hit with a wave of anxiety. What if she knows? What if she can tell, just by looking at me?

Megan can feel the beginning of an anxiety attack coming on. She swallows thickly, and takes deep slow breaths, praying that it will pass. It doesn't.

"Megan?" The cheerleader jumps upon hearing someone whisper her name. She turns to see Graham looking at her, an expression of concern on her face.

"Are you ok?" She whispers. "You look sick."

Megan nods, shaking slightly, and puts on a smile.


Scared to let your guard down

Graham corners her after school, behind the gym. She knows. She can see it in my face.

"What's up with you today? You've been acting all skittish."

Megan's bottom lip trembles. She feels her walls crumbling, and tears leave her eyes. She hugs Graham tightly.

"I had a r-really bad dream! I can't stop thinking about it."

Graham rubs her back reassuringly. She won't make fun of her for crying over a nightmare. Megan knows this. "It's ok. It was just a dream."

If only you knew.


Boys, boys

Megan gets home before either of her parents get off of work. She has a plan. She heads straight to her bedroom, and gets out her laptop.

She opens up an incognito tab, and quickly finds what she's looking for. She plugs in her headphones, and snakes a hand down her skirt. Hopefully, getting off to something like this will help.

The porn on-screen is of a hetero couple, which Megan is grateful for. What she's not grateful for are the constant close-ups on the woman. The woman moans loudly, and Megan feels a jolt of arousal.

She exits the tab, and closes her laptop. She removes her hand from her panties, despite the throbbing between her legs. She wipes her fingers on her bedsheet, and closes her eyes, drifting into an uneasy sleep.


Tell the neighbors I'm not sorry

On Saturday night, as usual, there's a knock on the door of Megan's house. Her mother opens it to reveal Graham, standing there in all her punk dyke glory. She's got a crooked smile, and is wearing the leather jacket that she insists helps her 'get pussy'.

Megan's mother lets her in, with a thinly veiled look of disdain. Nancy Bloomfield really dislikes her daughter's best friend. Both Megan and Graham know this. Neither of them care.


If I'm breaking walls down

It's not really a big deal. Or at least, it shouldn't be. Megan hates that everybody else in school makes such a big deal about she and Graham being friends.

They come from different social circles, and yet fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. Graham's scruffy queer-punk attire clashes beautifully with Megan's cheerleading uniform, and cute dresses. Megan always sits with Graham at lunch, despite Graham telling her that she can go sit with Jared, she won't be upset.

"He likes eating with his football buddies. I don't like them much. Besides, you promised you'd try the tofu scramble I made!"

"Dammit, you remembered."

In all honesty, Graham has to admit that the scramble is pretty fucking delicious. For tofu, anyway. Maybe she can get Megan to make it for her again sometime.


Building your girl's second story

Whenever Megan needs her, Graham is always available. I guess that that's part of the appeal of having a best friend. Whether it's reassurance that her latest cheer is good, or making entitled guys back off, Graham's always willing to make Megan feel safe and happy however she can.


Ripping all your floors out

It's not at purpose. Not at first. But, sooner or later, Graham begins notices what an asshole Jared is.

She begins telling Megan exactly why, soon after. Only when Megan's already mad at him, though. She doesn't want Megan to think she's jealous. She totally isn't. She's just being a good friend. Obviously.


Boys

Graham doesn't like boys. She never has. As far back as she can remember, she's known that she likes girls and only girls. From crushes on teachers, to showing girls the wonders of lesbian sex, she's always been upfront. Of course, none of that really helps when you're in love with your straight(?) best friend.


Always gonna steal your thunder

Megan worries sometimes, that Jared isn't right for her. Whenever she pictures her ideal boyfriend, he always ends up being way too similar to her best friend. That's normal though. Everybody wants their partner to be their best friend. There's nothing wrong with that.

Megan glances at her phone, seeing two new messages. She opens the first one. It's from Jared.

'hey babe, Netflix and chill?'

Megan sighs, and goes to see the other one. She smiles upon seeing that it's from Graham. She'll take time with Graham over time with Jared any day. Not that anybody ever needs to know that.

'yo, nutmeg, u in the mood for body horror? Just kidding, u don't get a choice. Come over. (if u rlly don't feel ok watching it, we can pick out a different thing to watch tho, I don't wanna freak u out)'

'It depends on the movie, I suppose. I'll be there in 15 minutes.'


Watch me like a dark cloud

When Megan comes running off the field after cheering at a game, it's Graham she runs toward. Not Jared. Graham sees Jared glare at her, and smirks at him in response.

He's jealous. Good. Fucking asshole. Megan gushes to Graham about her cheer routines, and Graham stares at her. Sweaty, red-faced, and grinning, Graham thinks that she always looks the most beautiful immediately after cheering at a game.


On the move collecting numbers

Graham has no problem getting girls. Megan has no problem getting boys. The difference is that Graham wants the attention, while Megan doesn't.

If a guy catcalls Megan, Graham fucks him up. Either with words, her fists, or a combination. Megan always lectures her on how dangerous that is while she tends to her wounds, but Graham merely gives a bloody grin in response.

"Gotta take care of my girl."

"…What?"

Oh shit. "I meant, like, you're my best friend. And I gotta keep you safe. Y'know…Defending you and shit." Graham stammers out.

Megan smiles, and hugs her tightly. Tightly, until Graham yelps in pain, that is. Megan sheepishly apologizes, and continues tending to her.


Imma take your girl out

As Megan and Graham settle into Megan's bedroom for a night of chatting, and watching movies, there's a tension in the air. It's odd. Things are usually so easy with them but lately, there's been something building.

"So, how's the boy treating you?" Graham asks, before popping a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth.

Megan sighs. She sets down the pink nail polish. "Not great. I just don't really like him. I don't know if I ever did, honestly. I think I'm gonna break up with him. I mean, I like our sleepovers more than I like the dates he takes me on."

Megan blushes upon realizing what she said. Graham grins, and grabs her hand, gently. She presses her lips to it, and Megan's breath hitches. Graham looks up at her. "Well, I do try to treat the women in my life as well as I can."


We will be everything that we'd ever need

Upon hearing of Megan's plans to dump Jared, she's been a ball of nervous energy. Just because she's dumping him doesn't mean that she'll suddenly wanna date you. She's probably straight.

Or maybe she's a confused baby Sapphic who needs guidance from a more experienced women-loving-woman, who she happens to be very close to. Who'd possibly be better for her than her best friend? Graham stops that though in its tracks, before her brain conjures up images of what Megan would look like under her cheerleading uniform.


Don't tell me, tell me what I feel

As Megan approaches Jared, she can't keep her mind off of Graham. She knows why, and refuses to acknowledge it. Not right now.

"Jared?" The football player turns to see Megan.

"Hey Babe. Are we still on for Friday?"

Megan takes a deep breath. No turning back now. "No, Jared. I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. I'm breaking up with you."


I'm real and I don't feel like boys

Graham is awoken around two in the morning, by a knocking on her window. She sits up in bed and walks over to the window. She sees a familiar blonde in slightly muddy pajamas.

She opens the window. "Megan, what the fuck?!"

Megan sniffles. She's obviously been crying. "Let me in."

Her breath smells like fruity alcohol. If Graham was worried before, now she's downright terrified. Megan, ultimate good girl, is drunk outside her window in the middle of the night.

Graham helps Megan inside her room. "What happened to you?"

"I dumped Jared. And he said some…Things…" Megan's staring at her bare, muddy feet.

Graham's genuinely curious now. What could he have possibly said to turn Megan into this. "What things?"

"He called me a dyke…." Megan looks up at Graham's face, tears running down her cheeks. "I think he's right…I think I like girls, Graham…I'm so scared…"


I've been crossing all the lines, all the lines

When Megan wakes up, the night after her confession, she feels a raging headache. She groans, and hears a chuckle. She opens her eyes slowly. "Graham?"

Her voice is hoarse, and talking hurts horribly. She whimpers, closing her eyes again. She feels Graham stroking her forehead.

"Morning, Champ. I've got advil and water for you. You feel up to eating?"

Megan shoots up at the mention of food, and bolts to the bathroom. Graham hears her retching, and goes in after her. She rubs Megan's back soothingly. "You'll be fine. Do you…Remember what happened last night?"

"…Yeah…. Are we…Ok?"

"Of course we are, Princess."


Kissed your girlfriend, made you cry, boys

After that day, things are much calmer between them. The tension is still there, but it's different now. Now it's not a scary tension.

The dam breaks when Megan runs into Graham's arms after a game. Graham catches her, spinning them. Megan laughs happily, and it just seems natural when they press their lips together. Graham worries when Megan starts crying. Until, that is, Megan assures her that the tears are happy ones


Saw your face, heard your name, gotta get with you

Looking back, Graham had always known that she wanted Megan. It was always just a question of 'if' and 'when'. She smiles at Megan. It's now.


Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

Graham insists on immersing Megan in queer culture. Megan is excited to learn. She comes home to find a stack of books on her bed. Mostly Sapphos and Alison Bechdel.

"Just the essentials to start out with," Graham answers Megan's raised eyebrow.


Isn't this why we came? Tell me if you feel it too

The first 'I love you' is mutual, and beautiful. Megan looks up form between Graham's legs. She's absolutely giddy.

She's still getting used to nervousness being pleasant and exciting. It often is with Graham. Graham had assured her that they didn't have to have sex, but Megan had insisted that she wanted to try it. She had also insisted on getting Graham off first.

"I really don't know what I'm doing. I hope you know that."

Graham smiles, petting her hair. "It's ok. I'll guide you. But we don't have to if you don't want to."

Megan nearly purrs under her touch. She entwines one hand with Graham's free one. "I want to, I'm just a little nervous that I might not be very good at this."

"You'll do fine. Nobody knows what to do their first time. That's why I'll tell you. But if you wanna stop at any time, just let me know." She gently pushes Megan's head toward her center.

"Wait. Graham."

Graham's hand shoots away from her head. "What is it, baby? Do you wanna stop?"

Megan smiles, and presses a quick kiss to her clit. "No." Another kiss. "I just wanted to say that…I love you. A lot. And you're a great girlfriend…And I'm really happy that you're my first."

"I love you too. Now get back to work, Princess," Graham teases, moaning when Megan obeys.


Tell me girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

As they lay in bed, panting, Megan feels better than she ever has in her life. Not just from the sex, but from Graham. She kisses her hard, needing to keep feeling her.

Graham smiles into the kiss. Megan climbs on top of her, and deeps the kiss. Graham gently scratches her back. They break apart, lips swollen, and just stare at each other. No words are needed.