A/N: Remember thoughts will be in italics and flashbacks will be in bold and italics. This is my take on what could have happened in season 2 episode 16. It's not going to be the same but I will use some stuff from there. This also all I have so far, slowly but surely I'm updating this fic also it's going to have a lot of chapters rather than just the one shot it was supposed to be

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with Chuck and its universe and I only own the storyline. and I also don't own half of the song I'm going to use in future chapters and most of the other songs I DO NOT own it.

NOTE: THE WHOLE STORY WAS REVISED


just... I need to get away; I can't deal with this anymore. But where can I go? Where can I just be alone? I can't run that's for sure because they would find me Chuck went straight to his closet and dug around, trying to get to the back, where his acoustic guitar was kept in its case, that he had for years. No one knew that he played, aside from Ellie, Awesome, Morgan, and a few other random people at the bars. He hasn't played since the upload of the Intersect, which lead Sarah and Casey into his life. I'm pretty certain they don't know, that I could play the guitar. Ellie says that I can hold my notes and was quite good, not to be conceited about it, but that was what she had told me. I haven't sung in two years, well I mean properly, singing in the shower doesn't count.

Maybe I could go to the beach. Staring out into the vast distance of the horizon and the ocean, hearing the birds in the distance, my feet buried in the sand and the smell of everything, calms me. Looking down, he noticed that he was still wearing his work clothes. Damn, it's too late to change now. Chuck redid his tie, grabbed the leather jacket from the closet and quickly laced up his Chucks. Luckily for him, both Ellie and Awesome were working the night shift at the hospital. Grabbing the car keys and the keys for 'Casa Bartowski,' which was attached to it, he headed out the front door. Despite having removed the cast that he had on his leg earlier, he was still limping quite a bit. He had told Ellie that having the cast on, was a bit ridiculous and she reluctantly removed it. Chuck went to the car park and unlocked his car, putting the guitar in the trunk, he jumped into the vehicle and drove to the beach

You were probably wondering why he was doing this... Let us start from the beginning.

You see when Chuck was little, the other thing he was fascinated with, besides technology. Yes, he is a Nerd, always have been. The other thing he was fascinated with was playing the guitar, and then the whole thing with his parents leaving him and El when they were small, happened. His mom left first when he was nine, and his dad became very distant, never really there before he eventually left them too. That was why every year Ellie and he celebrated Mother's Day in October because it was the anniversary of the day their mother left them, and they had to learn how to take care of themselves. He never really, got the chance to ask them for a guitar before everything went downhill, something Chuck had wished he had done.

Some years later when Ellie started med school, met Awesome her fiancé, real name Devon and Chuck was in high school. They were walking around in the mall when he spotted the music shop and immediately dragged Ellie over to go look at the guitars. She noticed how fascinated he was with it, and a few weeks later for his birthday, she bought the acoustic guitar with the full kit included. That was one of the best gifts he could have ever received, and it made him cry a little because Ellie knew that Chuck never asked for much, yet she still took care of him and got what he had wanted. She had become his mother as well as being his big sister, and for that, he was truly grateful and loved her so much.

It didn't take Chuck long before he learnt how to play, seeing as how easy playing and learning chords came to him. He taught himself as many songs as he could and even started singing. The first time he sang and played in public was at the bar with Ellie and Awesome, as well as Morgan. He knew he was good because of the round of applause and whistles throughout the room. But hey those people could have been drunk. He never did sing for anyone after that, well except for when he was at Stanford and filled in, at one of the frat parties because the band's lead singer was late. Chuck almost never sang in public, mostly because he was shy.

Once again, Chuck had hit the low point in his life, that was the whole incident that ended up with his "Buddy" Bryce getting him kicked out of Stanford, his girlfriend dumping him and then sleeping with Bryce. Which had left him heartbroken and lost, until one day, late at night, he couldn't handle me. Chuck never felt so overcome and messed up with emotions in his entire life, so he ran. Taking his guitar he went to the beach, where he sat far away from the noise. Far away from people, so it was very secluded, he started to play and then singing along and eventually just poured his heart into it and lost track of time. It was then he discovered that he could write songs and that it was almost sunrise. Chuck also realised whilst watching the sunrise, that for once he was calm, and it felt total relief and his thoughts were in order instead of jumbled like before.

Chuck sent Ellie, a message so that she wouldn't be worried and stayed out there until the sun was high up in the sky, the birds chirping and flying around. It was so tranquil as if he needed this to happen. From then onwards whenever he was upset, frustrated, confused or just needed to sort his feelings, he would take the guitar and head to the beach to play usually either near sunrise or sunset. He never told anyone besides Ellie and Awesome, cause they used to worry about where he used to go. It was the only time where he cut off any use of modern technology aside from the car.

Now coming back to today, It has been... one of the longest weeks of his life. Chuck managed to screw up significantly, hurt his ankle and shoot Busgang in the leg. The person who told me about Orion, the person who can get the damn Intersect out of his head. He needed to start searching for Orion; he's the only person who could help him now.

It was already dark outside by the time Chuck had reached the beach. Sending Ellie a quick message before he got out the car, letting her know that he's at the beach, knowing she won't reply now because she's on call. He switched his phone on silent and placed it deep into his front pocket so that he won't pull it out again to check any messages while ignoring a lot of phone calls. Stepping out of the car, a swift of cold wind hits him, goosebumps scattering across his skin. He put on the leather jacket that was next to him on the passenger seat he got the guitar, locked the car and walked to the secluded spot of his, that he found.

He sat down on the soft sand, placing the guitar next to him, crossing his legs as he stared out at the ocean. In the distance, he noticed the moon reflecting on the sea and the stars high up in the sky, like mirror images. Shining brightly, like it was meant to give him a sense of hope, a sense that things will get better over time and that he should carry on and not give up. Chuck was not sitting far away from the surf; he was close enough to the part where if he had to write a message in the sand, you'd be able to see it clearly and for it to not get washed away, it was far enough that he was not sitting on the wet part of the sand. Sometimes I think that this could be the perfect spot, where the ocean meets the beach sand, but that could just be me.

Ah, that brings him back to the reason why he was there. Sarah... The girl, who saved his life countless times. Who was one of his handlers from the CIA, the one who makes him jealous whenever she has to do anything related to seduction missions or flirting with other guys. The one, who had kept him up a countless of times in the night. The girl, he found that was always in his dreams and sometimes nightmares. The girl who has the most striking blue eyes and long but not too long blonde hair that cascades gently down her back. The girl who he didn't know much about yet but wanted to. The girl he wanted to have a relationship with. The girl he loves... I love Sarah... Wow, I don't think I would be able to admit that to her because of the consequences. I... Wha.. what do I do now? I know she doesn't love me back. Stupid CIA/NSA rules. I can't even have a relationship with her and every time try to show her my true feelings; I always get shot down or ignored. She doesn't realise that I do actually like her despite her past. I don't even need to know about her past because I know the real her now. I know that despite her hard-ass exterior that she gives off when we're on missions. I know that when she's alone with my family and me, there's a real girl behind all that façade.

Picking up his guitar and placing it on his lap, he studied the details of it like he normally does many times before. It's not a standard brown acoustic one, it was a midnight blue and black colour. Chuck started to play a random melody, stumbling a bit because it's been a while. Switching the chords to "Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis" one of the first songs he learnt properly. It was the first song he played after the whole Stanford incident, some of it spoke to him at the time. He played the opening melody and even though the tune was meant for the electric guitar, he managed to make it work with an acoustic one.

(Bold and italics - Chuck singing)

[VERSE 1:]

Slip inside the eye of your mind

Don't you know, you might find

A better place to play?

You said that you've never been

But all the things that you've seen

Slowly fade away

[PRE-CHORUS:]

So I start a revolution from my bed

Cause you said the brains I had went to my head

Step outside summertime's in bloom

Stand up beside that fireplace

Take that look from off your face

Cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

[CHORUS:]

And so Sally can wait

She knows it's too late as we're walking on by

Her soul slides away

But don't look back in anger

I heard you say

[VERSE 2:]

Take me to the place where you go

Where nobody knows if it's night or day

Please don't put your life in the hands

Of a rock n roll band

Who'll throw it all away

[PRE-CHORUS:]

I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed

Cause you said the brains I had went to my head

Step outside summertime's in bloom

Stand up beside that fireplace

Take that look from off your face

Cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out.

[CHORUS:]

And so Sally can wait

She knows it's too late as she's walking on by

My soul slides away

But don't look back in anger

I heard you say

[CHORUS:]

So Sally can wait

She knows it's too late as we're walking on by

Her soul slides away

But don't look back in anger

I heard you say

So Sally can wait

She knows it's too late as she's walking on by

My soul slides away

But don't look back in anger

Don't look back in anger

I heard you say

[OUTRO:]

At least not today...

This song had brought back a lot of unwanted memories, but after he learnt it, he always used it to warm up my voice. I mean come on who doesn't love 'Oasis'. It has always been my favourite to play; the only hard part now was figuring out what to play next.

Once again he was lost in his thoughts, and those few lines had ended up sticking in his head "Who will love you? Who will fight? Who will fall far behind?" Chuck suddenly realised that those were the last lines of 'Skinny Love - Bon Iver' immediately he switched to the chords of it and started playing the intro

[VERSE 1:]

Come on skinny love, just last the year

Pour a little salt, we were never here

My, My, My, My, My, My, My

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

Tell my love to wreck it all

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

My, My, My, My, My, My, My

Right in this moment, this orders tall

[CHORUS:]

And I told you to be patient

And I told you to be fine

And I told you to be balanced

And I told you to be kind

And in the morning I'll be with you

But it will be a different kind

And I'll be holding all the tickets

And you'll be holding all the fines

Chuck thought back to the day when he and Sarah were sitting in the courtyard... It was the week that Bryce came back, and they had that mission which ended with Sarah saving his life but ended up in the hospital, then Casey coming to rescue them from the train station and him being held hostage. He had wanted to speak to her before dinner with Ellie and Awesome. So he sat in the courtyard waiting for her, mentally preparing what he had wanted to say. When he heard her greet him, putting a brave face on when he started to speak. It was so cute when we both said 'Look' together and that little laugh we shared afterwards. And how she had let him go first. I shouldn't have gone, first, I should have listened to what she had to say before I spoke. I messed up then, and I messed up after and I sure as hell screwed up now. He then remembered what he had told her.

"Look we both know how I feel about you, so I'm just gonna shoot straight. Sarah, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're beautiful, smart, you laugh at all my stupid little jokes, and you have this horrible little habit of constantly saving my life..."

He remembered seeing this small smile on her face, and that cute little giggle she gave when he was describing her. She had looked so beautiful and I...

"The truth is you're all I ever wanted and more and these last few days all I could think about is our future together about what... What it's going to be like once I finally get the Intersect out of my head, about how we'll finally be together for real, no fake relationship, no covers, no lies..."

She still had that little smile on her face and when he looked directly into her beautiful, striking blue eyes that were shining under the courtyard lights and the pale moonlight. He noticed that she was facing him, and she didn't look away, was either staring into his eyes or looking at his face, but she did not look away. It was like she was giving him her full attention, as if she wanted to hear what he was going to say, listening intently, soaking up his words...

"But the more I think about it, the more I realise that you and I can never have a future together..."

She had broken her gaze from his eyes, and Chuck instantly regretted what he had said, but in the spur of the moment he could not stop my babbling mouth, and he couldn't bear to look at her anymore...

"I fooled myself into thinking we could, but the truth is, we can't because even if we could have a relationship, it would never really be real..."

Chuck ended up looking back at her, finding her gaze on him how her eyes weren't shining much anymore.

"I'd still never know anything about you, your real name, your hometown, your first love and I want more than that. I want to be able to call at the end of a bad day and uh and tell you about something funny that Morgan did and not find out that I can't cause you're somewhere in Paraguay quelling a revolution with a fork..."

God this is so hard to tell her all these things, why did I? He once again noticed that tears were pooling at the end of her eyes and she was trying hard not to let them fall. Chuck didn't know if he was supposed to say anything. And now he knew that he should have said something. Her moods switched from happy to sad in a matter of seconds, and he was the cause of it. He hated himself for doing that to her.

[VERSE 2:]

Come on skinny love what happened here?

Suckle on the hope in light brassieres

My, My, My, My, My, My, My

Sullen load is so full, so slow on the split

[CHORUS:]

And I told you to be patient

And I told you to be fine

And I told you to be balanced

And I told you to be kind

And now all your love is wasted

And who the hell was I?

And I'm breaking at the britches

And at the end of all your lines

"I'm a normal guy, who wants a normal life. And as Amazing that you are Sarah Walker, we both know that you will never be normal..."

God damn, you stupid arse of a moron. You KNOW she will never be normal, yet you still tended to remind her you, bloody idiot. She is better than normal; she is your super kick ass beautiful ninja spy. You felt the need to say you want a normal girl. You FUCKING idiotic moron, why, just why? You had a chance; she wanted to tell you something then you went and said all those things and whatever she wanted to say, she didn't up saying it at all. Chuck remembered what she told him after she looked away and nodded her head as if she agreed with him...

"You know someday when the Intersect is out of your head, and you have the life that you always wanted. You'll forget all about me..."

Sarah focused her gaze back on Chuck, and he felt his heart break when she had said that and he told her that...

"I seriously doubt that..."

She was going to cry. I made Sarah cry. I felt like crying myself. He heard her sniffling, and her eyes were still tearing up. She put her hand near his ear tucking his hair behind it, then moving her hand to his shoulder before telling him.

"Come on we better get inside; they're waiting for us..."

Sarah grabbed Chuck's hand as she stood up, trying to help him up before she let go of it and walked a few paces forward, stopping before the door front, her back facing him. He saw her looking up, and a tear falling to the ground. Chuck stood up and joined her, standing, side by side before walking to the front door, and they both looked at each other, with sad and worried looks on their faces, like what do they do now. Having a wordless conversation just using facial expressions, they came to an agreement that they would smile and act as if nothing happened. Smiling, they looked at the door before opening it and entering the apartment.

Ellie and Devon immediately rushed towards them and dragged Sarah to look at the wedding dresses, and he remembered Awesome coming up and telling him,

"Who knows maybe you're next..."

Chuck shed an awkward laugh before he leaned against the wall gazing at Sarah. Wondering if it will happen and it was like she knew he was staring, that she immediately turned around and looked back at him and they had shared a long moment before she looked away and once again left him wondering what if she was the one he was meant to be with?

[VERSE 3 :]

Who will love you?

Who will fight?

Who will fall far behind?

He started playing the end of the song... I don't know why this song had reminded me of this moment, but I knew that was when I messed up. I would like to have known what she was thinking at that time, what she wanted to say, I still couldn't believe I made her cry, and I know if she weren't the strong woman I knew today she would have been in tears.

Chuck gazed out at the ocean, all of these questions still in his head. He saw the waves curling ever so slightly before getting closer to the shore and pulling away. He thought about that two passionate kisses that they shared and the jealousy that he accumulated, and it made him know for certain. I love Sarah Walker, always have...


A/N I hope you enjoyed it & a special mention to the author Spawn Hades who gave me an idea of what I could do with this story & made me want to write more chapters, that was originally going to be a one shot. I, thank you for that. Please Read/Review!

Mmmkayyy byeee 😉