AWOOGA! AWOOGA! SHITE STORY ALERT!
If you're wondering where "Something Stupider" went, then read on. Because I know you're all dying to. Admit it. Don't hold out on me know…
"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STORY" (Abridged version)
PIXIEPOOP:Tra la la, I think I'll write a fan fiction. (Typing for several weeks ensues.) Wow, it's really shite. Hey, what's that whirring noise?
J.K. ROWLING:It's me, spinning in my grave.
PIXIEPOOP:JK Rowling died?!
J.K. ROWLING:Well I was fine until one day I happened to come across your crappy fanficton "Something Stupider" on the internet and I was immediately struck dead by your use of my characters. I'm actually ashamed to be affiliated with them now. Thanks a lot.
PIXIEPOOP:Jeez, sorry. I didn't realise it was so shite. I mean I always knew it was shite, but the carrying capacity of the story must have reached shite-overload.
J.K. ROWLING:It certainly did. And now I'm dead.
STEVEN KLOVES:Hello, I'm Steven Kloves. For those of you who didn't know, I write the screenplays for the Harry Potter movies. Now that J.K. Rowling's reign of terror is finally over, I can write the screenplays without her input. The characters will bend to my every whim, and I will portray Ron as even more of a bozo and Hermione in even shorter skirts! Ahahahaha ahaha, ahahahahahaha!
PIXIEPOOP:Oh god, what have I done?! Thanks to my flimsy plotline and out of character representations of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco- and all the rest- I have killed my hero J.K. Rowling and sacrificed the books to Steven Kloves! And now we'll never know how the series ends!
REST OF THE WORLD:Yes, well, we know who to blame for this, don't we?
PIXIEPOOP:There is only one way to right the heinous crime. I must take down "Something Stupider" and rewrite it as I have never re-written anything before! I will make the storyline plausible rather than crap! I will write the characters realistically rather than crappily! And most of all, I will no longer violate J.K. Rowling's precious mind by taking her goodness and using it for evil. With great power comes great responsibility.
SPIDERMAN:Excuse me, I believe you know owe me and all my lawyers a million dollars each.
AND SO BEGINS THE GREAT RACE TO SAVE J.K. ROWLING's LIFE AND TO SPARE THE WORLD FROM EMMA WATSON'S UNDERWEAR! WILL SHE SUCCEED? WILL SHE FINALLY DEFEAT THE EVIL MASTERMIND STEVEN KLOVES? WILL HE CONTINUETO WRITE REALLY BAD BOOK ADAPTATIONS? (Well, we all know the answer to that one, they've already started filming Prisoner of Azkaban.) TUNE IN AT REGULAR INTERVALS TO FINE OUT.
I'll get chapter one back up ASAP, until then you'll just have to wait. It won't be a complete make over just the fan fiction equivalent of a botox face-lift. Dum dum dummmm….