Yeah! Already into chapter 2 *cry of happiness* and thanks so much, minna-san... All your reviews make me feel so happy *floating around her room* This chapter will have more angst [angst lvl 2 up] *lol* ^^;;; and only shounen-ai role within this chapter.
This chp haven't been beta read yet ^^;; but soon I'll update it again *nervous smile* Anyone want to be a beta-reader for this ficcu? ^^; If you want to be a beta-reader, emailed me pls... thanks X3 *hugs*
T.T *tears of happiness* Thank you so much guys for all the reviews. It made me wanna write the ficcu until the end, though my school subjects are killing me here .; Thanks to Fem Scorpio (yay! my 1st reviewer), Baki-chan, Ewen (ur tips helping a lot XD~ yes, u can do something grosser *lol & huggles*), Ruby Tears (Yuki only tried to help Haru and Kyou ^^), MooMooMilk, Mizuko, Sakura-Princess, Lady Geuna (*smirk* wanna beta-read my 'nother ficcu which is still in the making?), YurikoMC4, Mini Youko, bippy (*snicker*), Slashyme, delusional lady, tenshineechan, Berserker Nightwitch, Wildfire2, Sierra Ruffner, katrice, Chibi-Mariah, oruchuban Ebichu, luv, ;ou, Raiju (*lol*), chibichibi-neko, Neri Maxwell, Denisse, Switch (*nervous smile* yep, I'm an ESL person XD;;;), Person and flower
This second chapter, I'll make it with everyone's the POV ^^;; I'm sorry if I'm out off their character...
//... blablabla ...// = someone's thought *lol*
Rebellion Of My Heart Chp2 - Do I Feel Regret?
//What did I just do to him?//
"H-HARU... DON'T YOU DARE TO TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN!! I... I HATE YOU!!"
//What have I done to him?//
"Kyou... What have I done."
Kyou's voice still ringing in my ears. I sat on the toilet floor motionlessly. Thinking back what the hell did I just do to Kyou. The pain in my face were nothing compare to the ache of my heart when I heard him saying the word of 'hate' to me. My shock prevents me stop Kyou from running out of the toilet. How stupid I could be in this moment. I have made him hate me.
There was a bitter taste in my mouth. I sweep the corner of my lips with the back of my hand. The warm crimson liquid were found. Did Kyou hit me that hard? I forced to crack a smile, a bitter smile.
//... Maybe I deserve this from him.//
I pushed my self up from the floor. When the toilet's door was cracking open.
"Ok, Haru. What did you do to him?"
So, Yuki had find it out too. That's rather a quick discovery. I turned my self around to face Yuki. His face's written will all of his seriousness, and I know better not to tick serious Yuki or you'll ended up in a hospital or somewhere else that weren't nice. But when I turned my self fully to him, he gasped at my bleeding mouth.
"Kuso! H-haru... what the hell is happening here?!" He drew out his handkerchief to wipe out the blood from my mouth. I flinch as his hand gently holding my face, holding me still while he's wiping the blood away from my face. If only he could act this way.
"It's nothing for you to worry about, Yuki-kun."
He shrugged at my answer and answered me back with irritation, "Of course it's for me to worry about you two.". His answer was like an older brother whose worrying about his little brother. I knew it from the beginning, Yuki only see me as his little brother. Maybe that's why my attention change to the orange haired boy.
"Care to talk about it with me, Haru?"
"I'm sorry. I don't think I would like to talk about it now."
I forced my self to smile at him, but failed. My face must be showed him how painful I'm feeling right now. He just smile at me and nodded in understanding. He pat my back, try to loosen up me a bit.
"Ne, Yuki-kun, could you call Hatori-san? I don't think I had the spirit to do school today."
"Alright. Why don't you rest in the clinic for a moment while waiting for Hatori to pick you up?"
"I don't think clinic is the safe place for me to rest, Yuki-kun. You never thought what will happened to me if I left behind sleeping and off guards in there. Someone can accidentally or purposely snuggle me on the bed."
"Ah... I guest you are right." He gave a small chuckle. "Then, just wait for Hatori in the rooftop of the school."
He turned away and left out the door. I, again, left alone in the room. I sighed a little then take my self out form the toilet. Looking through the hall, no one was there. An empty hall, just like the emptiness of my soul when Kyou hate me. Oh, God. I hope I could hold my self to wait for Hatori-san to pick me up rather than jumped from there to end my misery live. Shoved away all the thought of having a suicide, I dragged my self to climb up those stairs.
I marched along the empty hall to where the public phone was held. My mind was racing with a lot of questions about the other two Sohma. Maybe my eyes were playing trick on me, but Kyou's really crying when he was bumping to me. Then when I went to ask Haru, I found him bleeding. What the heck was happening between them? I wanted to throw so much questions to Haru about this. But in his condition right now, I think it's best not to bother him with so much mental force.
As soon as I reached the public phone, my hand automatically dialled Hatori's number. I hope Hatori has a free time now. I don't want to leave Haru alone like that. Especially I couldn't read his action. I don't want to be the one who responsible for all his careless action. The line was beeping once... twice... c'mon Hatori! I know you are there.
::K-CLICK:: "Moshi-moshi, Hatori desu."
"Yuki? What's making you to call me in this time? Is something happen to your bronchi again?" His voice full of concern from the other line. Gee... did I really worried him this much? A slight blush come out to my cheeks.
"Ah. Iie, Hatori-san. It's not me, it's... Haru."
"... What happened to Hatsuharu, Yuki?" Hatori's serious tone had sent a shiver through all my body. He was the kind of person that you won't want to mess with.
"Nothing serious I guest, but something is really bothering him and I don't really know what it is. So, I was just wondering if you could pick him up or should I asked Shigure to do it?"
"No, that's okay, Yuki. I will pick him up. Tell him to wait up for me, I'll be on my way."
The conversation was ended when he hang up the phone. I looked at the phone for a second. Maybe Hatori could talk to Haru about this. Hatori was like a guardian to Haru and Momiji.
I shake my head slowly. Maybe I was thinking about it too dramatically. Nothing to worry about, I turned around and head back to my class. I think I had left Tohru and the other class mate worried about me.
I lay my self on the floor of the terrace. I'm not sure for how long did I wait for Hatori to come. I looked up onto the blue sky, watching the cloud moving slowly. My mind was a bit dull. It must be the shock from before hasn't gone yet. I think it's best for me not to wonder around with this mind, or I'll send my self lost in the middle of nowhere again.
A faint foot steps could be heard from the stairs. Then the sounds could be heard clearly and stopped right beside me. It was Hatori.
"Come, Haru. You will need to explain this later when we get back into the main house."
After telling me the sentence, he walked back down the stairs. Hatori have never been seen without his cold mask off. Even the black side of me probably won't bother to have an argument with Hatori. since you won't know what will he do to you, aside with his ability to erase people's memory. A shudder crawled up to my body.
I stood up and followed Hatori without any words. We had used to this kinda silence. Looking at the floor and thinking so much thought, I keep walking on aimlessly.
"... We're turning to the right."
Oh, I was walking straight while Hatori was about to turn to the right. I think I should really followed Hatori from the back. Walking slowly, I catch up with Hatori once again. Hatori keep telling me the directions until we arrived in the parking lots. He took out the car key from his pocket and gave out a small sigh when we're inside the car. Well, it's not my fault that I really have a bad sense of direction. I couldn't help my self to form a small chuckle over the tired Hatori. He just gave me a silent glare.
As soon as he starts the engine, he drove out the school. On the way, we keep the silence again. Not to care to talk about something that simply for a little chit chat. But I could tell, Hatori has changed a bit after he met with Sohma Kana. I lean my forehead on the cool window, still trying to soothe my mind a bit from the earlier incident. After a while of silent treatment from Hatori and without knowing it, I drift off to sleep.
"Is that Hatsuharu-kun?"
"Ah, what a cute boy. Though he was the oushi from the junishi."
"Oushi? ah, another one, huh?"
//What were they talking about?//
"Another cursed child, what will they become?"
//What will we become?//
"Ah, look! That's Yuki-kun. He's look so adorable."
"Nezumi was smart to ride on the oushi's back to become the first juunishi."
"Yes, indeed, but the oushi was stupid and dumb enough to be used like that..."
//No. I'm not stupid. Stop talking about it!//
"Why didn't the oushi realised that the nezumi was on its back?"
"Why did you ask? Of course it's because the oushi was dumb."
//NO! You are all wrong. I'm not dumb!//
"Why are you crying?..."
//No... I-I'm... I'm not dumb...//
"Haru... why did you cry?..."
Only Kyou who knew what I felt deep inside when they mock me like that. Because... Kyou is the cat. He has been through a lot harsh treatment. People seems not to care to what we feel deep inside our heart. They didn't know how it feels to be cursed to a juunishi form. Our happiness were just an ornament.
I opened my eyes, only to find the familiar ceiling. I'm already in my room, on my bed. Huh, when did I get down from the car and walk to my room? I didn't remember that I walk to my room from Hatori's car. Probably Hatori had carried me here from his car while I was asleep. When I closed my eyes, a tears fell from my eyes to my cheek. Damn. The dream had sent me into tears. I guess Kyou's words have just re-opening my miserable past. I wipe the tears away with my hand. After what I've done to Kyou, I... I'm the lowest of the low.
I tried to sleep again but failing. My mind couldn't rest. It's keep thinking about the thing that I'd done. I felt an enormous guilt within me. Why did the 'black' me always appear in a wrong time?
I sat up and crawl off of the bed. Sitting on the edge of the soft matrass, I force my brain to think properly. My feelings now must be unstable. Where did Kyou run to after he hit me? I hope he's okay. If something happened to him, I won't be able to forgive my self.
I looked at the mirror which located just across the room. The mirror biased my form. A young boy, with a sad expression written all over his face. God, this is pathetic. I must be looked like a scared cow over seeing a butcher ahead. I shakes my head softly not to think about it to much, but it really bothers me. I badly want to go and checked to Shigure-sensei's house for Kyou. But, if I go by my self I'll just make my self lost again.
Stood up, walked toward the mirror. I place my hand over the part where did Kyou had hit me. It did leave a small bruise on the cheek. A small noticeable bruise if you looked at it closely. Kyou hurt face suddenly flashed back into my mind. Dung, I do really worried about him. Growled over the flash back then I wander out of my room to Hatori's place. I hope he also do some kind of psychologist therapy for my poor brain. This was just to much for me to handle. Kyou, I hope you alright where ever you are now...
"GO AWAY, AHOU-INU!"
"Kyou-kun. Did something wrong happened?" Shigure kept knocking my locked door softly, asking for my permission to come inside. But the more he knocked the door, though it was a soft knocks, it had driven me over the edge.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"
The knocks stopped.
"You can call me downstairs if you need me, alright Kyou-kun."
//Just leave me alone.//
Silent was enveloping me once again. I curled up against the cool soft sheet. The tears had stop somehow in the way back home. Probably I didn't want to embarrass my self more than once. That damn rat already seen me with the tears cracking from my eyes. He must be laughing at me and see me as a weak person. The same as for that damn oushi. He must be planning this all out, to see the weak side of me.
My hand travelled to my neck. The bitten neck was still hurt but the blood already dried out. I touched the bitten area, a sting pain rush through me. I think it will leave a slight bruise and scar there. Haru's shocked face suddenly flash back into my mind. His face were showing him that he knew what he had done to me was wrong. Scared written all over his face, and that look on his eyes. I never seen him with that kinda look on his eyes before. But the one who supposed to be scared at that time was me. He almost rape me there or do something that I didn't want to think of.
Anger seems to raise up against my head again. I wanted to let this anger out and screamed it out loud. But... I did nothing. I lay on the bed, curled into a small ball within the ruffled sheet. My vision started to see things in a blur. Tears formed and streaked down on my cheeks again. I wiped it quite harshly with the back of my hand, but it was just making my tears streaming down uncontrollable. Covered my face with my hand, I sobbed slowly. My feeling was hurt. My pride has fallen. I didn't know what to do anymore.
There was a small rustled sound in the room.
I moved my hand away slowly and opened my eyes, looking at the directions of the sound. A cat and more cat came inside the room through the opened window. One cat was walking towards me and licked my tears away, while the others were sitting or laying with me on the bed. I looked at the cat who had licked me. I smiled softly and rub its fur. It mewed at my gentle stroke.
"... You guys were worried about me, huh?"
The cat was leaning on my hand, as if letting me know that it understand the words that I've said to it. Some others cat jumped onto the bed and licked my face.
"Hey, stop it. That's tickle."
I gave a small chuckle when they were licking my face. They tried to give me a comfort, but this was not enough for me. I need the real comfort. A comfort that could take my pain away. A pain in my heart, it's ache so much. No one here could help me, no one understood me.
"Maybe I am... really a weak person after all."
This day surely a tiring day. I even couldn't concentrate on every single lessons thanks to Haru and Kyou. They both really worried me sometimes. Honda-san was also worried about them. When I told her about what had happened to Kyou, she stood up too quickly from her chair. Knocked down the chair, making all people whose inside the class started to look at her direction. She just turned into a tomatoes and apologize quickly.
"Do you think, both of them are okay?"
"Un. Don't worry about them, Honda-san. Kyou's head was built from a rock, he'll survive from Haru." Even though I didn't really think Kyou could handle this one. I must think optimistically over this event. Also for not giving Honda-san to much worry. We walked home in silence. My mind was rushing over so many thought about Kyou and Haru. When we had arrived at home, I should go and check out what's Kyou doing. As if he would be at his room right now.
"Ah, Yuki-kun, Tohru-kun, okaeri."
"Shigure-san, is Kyou-kun alright?" Tohru asked Shigure as soon as she entering the house.
"Ah, he's okay, but I don't think he's in a good shape, though." He put his hand under his chin, pretending to think something out. "Why don't you go up and check on him, Tohru-kun? Maybe he would talk to you."
"Ah, hai." She took off her shoes and then bolted up the stairs to check on Kyou. I stayed still on the spot, looking at her disappearing form.
"Is he in really bad shape, Shigure?"
"I don't know." He shrugged and put a serious look on his face. "But one thing for sure, something is really bothering him. He never look and act like this before, well... sometimes but not this bad."
I nodded in agreement and started to take off my shoes. When I finished put my shoes on the shoes rack, a scream was coming from upstairs. In a second, I and Shigure look at each other then bolted upstairs. Something was happening to Honda-san!
Kyou's door was opened wide. We rushed into his room, only to find Tohru sitting on the floor while holding a paper. And no sign of Kyou in the room.
"Honda-san! Are you alright?!"
"Tohru-kun! What happened?"
"K-Kyou. It's Kyou... h-he left..." she answered us with a trembling voice.
I took the paper from her hand. It was a note, Kyou must be the one who wrote this note.
Don't search for me.
Great. This was just great. Baka-neko. Now where did he run off to?
Woo-hoo! The longest fanfic I've ever written (w) How was it guys? *looked at the more furious fans of HaruxKyou* ^^;; *chased away by the furious people* O.o;;; *run for her life*
Anyway... review please XD~~~ review, review, review, review, review... *hearts*