Even though I like to make fun of Tak for being Mary Sue-ish, I still like her as a character. She's a lot less annoying than 95 percent of original characters, and she inadvertently gave Dib a space ship. Therefore she gets my approval.
Disclaimer: Invader Zim is owned by Nick (although they don't deserve him), and everyone owns Mary Sue (come on, admit it).
Another horrible day in Ms. Bitters' class was interrupted quite suddenly when a gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, radiant, and not to mention really kawaii girl graced the room with her prescence.
"Class, it looks like yet a another new student is joining us," Bitters rasped.
"That's the third one this week!" Melvin exclaimed.
"And it's only Tuesday," added the Letter M.
"Yes, we have gone through an obscene amount of students this year, haven't we?" She paused to peruse her seating chart. Everyone waited with baited breath, hoping that this lovely and totally awesome new girl would get to sit next to them. And also that they wouldn't be sent to the underground classroom.
"Alex is absent today; you can have her desk." The ancient creature pointed to the empty chair in the third row.
Zim stood on his desk and raised his claws.
"Sir, isn't there a rule that all new students must sit in the first two rows?"
"Oh, how silly of me," Bitters said dryly. "All right, Poonchy, YOU move to Alex's seat, and YOU-"
"Marisu," said the girl, her voice as smooth as a greased piglet.
"Right . . . YOU will take Poonchy's seat." Poonchy reluctantly moved to the backhe was still kind of new himself, after alland Marisu stepped elegantly to her seat beside Zim.
And now for a lengthy, fashionably late description of Marisu's appearance! Because I know you're all just DYING to hear EVERY MINUTE DETAIL! (pant, pant)
She was aproximately 5'6", which in the real world is close to average for a twelve year-old, but in the Jhonenverse it's freakishly tall. But no one cared about this, as they were too busy gazing at the long, lush, green locks that framed her powder white face. Perched on her cute little nose were oval shaped glasses, which magnified her sparkling blue-green eyes that shined with intelligence and hidden depth and sorrow.
But that's not all! I still have to tell you about her adorable gothic CLOTHES! (I know that sounds wierd, but trust me, Marisu can make ANY outfit look adorable.)
She wore a calf-length, completely lint-free black dress over her anorexic body. In addition, she had black bootsa must for any new girl in Zim's class, doncha know. Silver gloves protected her delicate hands, and she had on a black backpack with silver spots (hmmmm, I wonder . . .) Around her swanlike neck hung a silver frog pendant. The author isn't sure what significance the frog has, but wouldn't ya know it, she just happens to have one exactly like Marisu's. Small world, eh?
Sure . . .
At any rate, everyone thought Marisu was just the neatest thing since artificial sweetener!
The new chick squeezed her legs under the desk with some difficultynot because they were fat, mind you, but because they were so dang long! Zim couldn't stop staring at them. This female was quite attractive for a human. Marisu caught him staring at her, and she winked.
Zim felt his heart melt. Good thing he always kept a spare in his Pak. No, of course he didn't mind being called "cute," you knucklehead! Who on earth or Irk wouldn't love to be called cute by the perfect Marisu?
Dib leaned over Aki's desk (much to Aki's dismay) and eyed his enchanting new classmate. "So, Marisu, do you have some mysterious past you'd like to share with us?"
Marisu smiled, eager for a chance to display her straight, shiny teeth. They were so shiny, in fact, that poor Aki went temporarily blind. But no one cares about her, as she is merely an expendable extra.
"I can't tell you about my past yet, Dib. Gotta keep the readers hooked, you know?" Don't ask how she knows Dib's name. She just does.
Later, at lunch, Marisu decided to sit with Zim. Why not, he's only the second most hated kid in skool. Some of the other students wanted to sit with Marisu, and were even willing to put up with Zim for a half hour. But she very politely informed them that she wished to speak with Zim privately. The children obliged, but cast envious looks Zim's way all through lunch.
Marisu's slim legs easily slid under the table. She stared at the Irken solefully and said, "Zim, I'd like for you to be the first to know about my mysterious background."
Zim felt honored that such a fine female specimen would open up to him, and rightly so. He leaned forward in interest. "Let me guess. You're Irken."
Marisu's shapely mouth opened a few inches. "Why Zim, how ever did you guess?"
"You'd be surprised how many Irkens have come to this skool," he replied, shrugging in a surprisingly human manner.
"Oh, I see."
Zim studied her for about the 210th time. "Nice disguise."
Marisu blushed. Well, it was really just a hologram of a blush; all of her human beauty was only a hologram. But did Zim care? You bet your spooch he didn't! "So, anything else you'd like to talk about?"
"Well, I'm the daughter of Tallest Red and Purple."
Zim nodded knowingly. "Yes, we've had a few of Tallest Purple's daughters here . . . " His lense covered optic implants bulged as he took in the whole of what she'd just said. "Wait, you're the daughter of both Red AND Purple!" He said this a little...okay, way too loudly, bringing curious stares from everyone in the room.
"Eh heh. Don't mind me, earth stink. Carry on with your ingestion."
Most of the children shrugged and went back to whatever it was they were doing.
"Eh, sorry about that," Zim said with a sheepish look that would have been much more fitting on Dib. "So tell me, how is it possible for the Tallest to reproduce?"
"I don't know." Marisu spread her dainty hands. "It's not really something I want to think about, you know?"
Zim wisely changed the subject, not wanting to make the angelic girl feel uncomfortable. "So, what brings you here?"
Marisu's dazzling eyes turned down, worry beginning to etch her pasty...I mean porcelain features. "I came to seek refuge. You see, an evil Irken named Tak is trying to kill me."
"Tak!" Zim's eyes glowed with anger. "That lying, thieving bleep tried to steal my mission, but I sent her flying into the void of space! You have no need to fear her, Marisu."
The female shook her pretty little head. "No, you're wrong, Zim. Tak has acquired a new ship."
Zim lowered an "eyebrow" quizzically. "How do you know this?"
"She rear-ended my custom-made black and silver Spittle Runner after a good old-fashioned ship chase. Do you have any idea how much monies it'll cost to get it fixed?" Big fat tears rolled down her gauntI mean slender face.
Zim pulled her into a comforting hug. Being completely in character, he patted her back. "Don't worry, Marisu, Zim'll make it all better." (The author is trying very hard to keep her lunch down she writes this.) "I'll fix your ship, and I'll protect you from that mean old Tak, too." Marisu looked up with tear stained (but still very nice looking!) eyes.
"Of course I will! I'd do anything for you, Marisu!"
The pale young lady suddenly grinned maliciously in an unexpected change of character. "Aaannythiiiiinnng?" She caught Zim staring at her, his face the picture of total confusion. "Uh...that is...oh, thankyou, Zim!" Her evil expression disappeared and was forgotten by all in a split second. "I knew I could count on you!" She gave him an extra squeeze, nearly snapping the poor Irken's spine.
Once Zim had sufficiently recovered, he asked, "Why does Tak want to kill you?"
Marisu sniffed. "She's jealous of me because I'm prettier, nicer, smarter, and a better Invader than she'll ever be!" And she's modest, to boot!
"So true," agreed Zim, gazing into her shimmering marine eyes.
All of the kids wanted to play with Marisu at recess, so she organized the biggest game of duck duck goose you ever did see! She was about to start tapping peple when Dib confronted her.
"What's the deal with you and Zim?" he demanded. "First you sit with him at lunch, then you tell him you're the daughter of Red and Purple, whoever they are. I bet you're an alien just like him!"
Marisu sighed and laid a hand gently on his shoulder. "Dib, there's something you should know . . ." She turned to their classmates. "Can you start playing without us? I need to speak with Dib alone."
Zim's blue eyes narrowed. "What are you telling that worm baby that you can't say in front of Zim!"
"I'm sorry, Zim," she said patiently, "but you already had a chance to hear part of my strange yet fascinating past. Now it's Dib's turn."
The short Irken fumed. "I'd kill you right now, earth monkey, but you might get blood on Marisu's dress!"
"Bring it on, space boy!"
The taller Irken stepped between them. "Stop! Don't you see? You should be fighting Tak, not each other!"
Dib gave Marisu his trademark confused look that makes Dib fangirls drool. Or something. "Didn't we get rid of her?"
"Not permenantly. She has a new ship now, and she has sworn to kill me!"
None of the other children were aware of this conversation; in fact they were already playing without her. She had asked them to, and they couldn't possibly deny her request.
Dib asked Marisu why Tak was trying to take her life, and the charming female Irken told him what she'd told Zim. This time she managed to get through the tragic tale without crying, though her eyes were a bit moist.
But she still wanted to share her other secret with Dib, so she lead him to a bench where Gaz happened to be playing her Gameslave 2. Apparently, the sensible Gaz hadn't yet been affected by Marisu's spell.
The comely young lady drew a deep breath for added drama before spilling her BIG SECRET.
"Dib, I . . . am your mother."
Dib gave her a blank look. "I'm sorry, what? It sounded like you said you were my mother, but that doesn't make sense, because my mother is a jar."
Marisu blinked, not expecting this answer, but she quickly plunged ahead. "Oh, no, Dib," she spoke with the sincerity of a delluded three year-old. "You couldn't possibly have come from a jar. How could your head have fit into it? Hm?"
"Um, well, I guess it was a big jar . . . Hey!" he cried, realizing he'd fallen into some sort of verbal trap.
"Don't be angry, Dib," she said soothingly. "I really am your real, true, non-artificial mother! Your father probably just told you the jar story to avoid telling you where babies really come from!"
"I've known that since I was seven!" he said indignantly. "But Gaz and I weren't born the normal way. We were part of an experiment to see if babies could be grown in artificially."
"Ah!" she cried like one who had just thought up a lie and thought it up quick. "Why, my sweet little Dib. I know what must have happened. Your father must have put my eggs in jars and incubated them there! That's pretty much what they do on Irk you know. Yes, and you came from one of those eggs, Son!"
She couldn't have been more wrong. You see, sometimes Marisu makes stuff up to get attention. We've all known people like that, right? But looking into Marisu's entrancing eyes, Dib finally gave himself over to illogic and believed her. Heck, most people would believe Marisu if she announced that two plus two is the square root of negative seventeen, which isn't even a real number. She's just that persuasive.
"Mom?" Dib's eyes grew larger, if that were possible.
"Son!" Marisu embraced the boy, turning on the water works once more. Or whatever Irken tears are made of.
Somewhere on the other side of the bench, Gaz snorted.