SoraMalfoySlythern: Sooo glad someone caught that... I am trying to keep the story restricted to the avengers and x men but what's the harm in adding a little nod to one of my fav villains? Plus I do think that story will need a, well a laughing side... even I it is a little dark

And I present to you this spelling cattrophey of a story,

The Match 6

"Well, there's nothing wrong with him," the doctor hesitated, she knew that they wouldn't like what she had to say, "but he isn't ok"

"What do you mean!? Could we not talk in riddles, please?" Wade was out of costume and had absolutely no time for this shit. "He's been laughing like a mad man for an hour! Now WHY!?"

The doctor sighed, "Well, there's no sign of any toxins or anything at all in his system, but he isn't ok, I can't find anything that's causing this, even the bullet hole that you pointed out to me. And no, I don't know why he wasn't able to dodge it," she managed to say before Wade could interrupt "the wound is healing very quickly, almost like a healing factor, when you brought him in, it was fresh. Now it looks like a year old scar."

"What about the ripple we saw?" Natasha was very concerned, she hated people getting hurt on her watch.

"I can't explain any of it, he's hardly stopped laughing, once or twice to breath, but other than that, he's perfectly fine."

Wade stared at her, he was sure she wouldn't lie to him, especially after he made such a big deal about needing to know, he was extremely worried, but there was nothing he could do.

"Thank you for your time," he was feeling guilty for not being able to help him, "could you keep me notified about him? If there's any changes?"

"Sure thing"

He nodded, turning on heel he walked as fast as he could out of the room. Natasha didn't try to stop, thinking it better to let him sort through his feelings.

A while later, and after a lot of walking, Wade found himself on the edge of a cliff. His favorite place to go and watch the ocean.

As he walked to the edge, he heard a woman yelling.

He looked to the bottom of the cliff and saw a woman about to be beaten and possibly raped by two huge dudes.

He stared, barely comprehending what was happening below his feet. Sitting down, he looked long and hard down at the woman, something familiar about her. Without really thinking, he jumped off the cliff, aiming his ass right at one of the guys faces. In his time as a badass mercenary, he was able to tell distance very well and knew when he would break some bones. Broken bones were nothing new but they still took a good half an hour with 5 pizzas to heal, and he didn't think she had that much time available to her.

Within a few seconds, he jumped onto one of the attackers, squashing him down very easily, and with a very loud thumph.

Turning around, the second attacker saw the heavily scarred Wade Wilson sitting on the face of his accomplice.

"What kinda sicko are ya?" The attacker seemed genuinely disgusted at the sight before him.

Wade couldn't help it, he laughed at this guy. There he was, about to beat and rape a woman, and he was asking what kinda sicko Wade was?

"Well, I'm the kind that can't die" Might as well get a one liner in.

"Let's test that" oooOooooOOOoooohhhhhHhhhHh this guys has one liners as well.

Wade knew he could beat this guy, and get in some more one liners as well. Standing up, Wade was so ready to catch this guys hands. The arm went back, and the started to go forward with as much


Wade jumped at the noise, loud, close and unexpected, a hand gun went off.

The guy in front of him instantly fell to the ground.

He stood and looked down at the now dead man, then he saw the woman standing against the cliff, gun in hand.

Shaking, she shot at the guy Wade had been sitting on straight in the nose. Still shaking she shot one bullet square in Wade's jaw.

As he stumbled back, surprised at being shot after saving her fucking life!

His jaw healed almost instantly, the bullet falling out, making the woman shot Wade again. After she emptied 2 more rounds in to him, Wade stood up, rather irritated, and yelled at the woman.

"Ok Jesus! You've shot me enough, and if you need a witness for your self defense trial, I suggest you stop pissing me off!" Wade was tired, and those shot were working his stomach up. He was broke and didn't need to be buying more food.

She stopped, but held the gun up still, pointing it at the now stirring Wade, and advanced, clearly seething.

"GOD DAMN IT WADE! WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AND DIE!" The woman screeched at Wade, who was finally able to put a name to her.

"...oh fuck, you again!?"

Sorry the story took such a turn. But people always have the bond between two characters set up before something terrible happens. Wanted to make it more realistic plus I'm still experimenting at my style, always funny, or dark and serious. And still the waitress needs a name or should she even stick around?