CLASSIFIED: DO NOT READ
Operations Clock: +6.5 hours
Beep... ... Beep... ... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep.. Beep. Beeeeeeep...
"Huh... firing mechanism must have been a dud..."
"Jeeze sir! I thought I was going to have a heart attack! Well at least since this story Nuke is dead and not continuing we might survive."
Beep... ... ... Beep... ... Beep... ... Beep...
"Oh you have got to be kidding me!?"
"Damnit sir! We might have to get the grinch to help us if we want any chance of disarming this, He's the only one of us that has full knowledge of how all the stolen ideas and materials from Disney work in this thing, and we can't have it blow up here!"
"Go search the ship for coffee, any coffee, even instant coffee *shudder* if you have to. We might be able to use that to bargain with him."
"Aye, Aye, Sir!"
"Ummm... that might not be a good idea to bargain with him right at the moment though..."
"And why not Petty Officer?"
"He got the duck tape off his mouth and is monologing now..."
"Yes sir, Monologuing. Its really rather disturbing..."
*Captin goes over and opens closet door*
"Muhahahhaha! For this foolish world will forever fall to Fluffy Fear from this forsaken figure's flippant foibles written forth from fiendish fantasy! For I shall forge such frivolously flirtatious and facetious Fluffy fables and fling them forth forevermore! For no one from frailest fellows to the fiercest foe can flea from my far flung flood of frightful written frippery. And you, fool, who hears of fuzzy foxy furry fluff and faultily looks forward to my fury without the faintest foreboding or fear; For from your fascination for fictitious fluff was I infected, this fiend formed and fabricated with but one function, a vengefulness to inflict upon my flippant framers, the fount of my deformation, a freshet of such surfeit fevered fictional fancy and Fuzzy story flux that they fall flailing before my Fluff fueled firestom of ferocious furor.
For only by fluffy folly will my vengeance be formed… *Evil Cackle* and if you have not heard of my infamy, let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me Z."
*closes door, then locks door, then moves a chair under its handle.*
"Damnit! Who let the Grinch watch V for Vendetta?! Don't go giving him ideas!"
Supply Division Pre-Supply!
Previous Chapters Re-Editted!
Since anyone who made it here past that horribly long wait, the supply division has arranged for some pre-fluff for you all!
Chapter 13 Cover Art!
courtesy of Bukoya
bukoya-star DOT deviantart DOT com /art/Tail-Fascination-694980229?ga_submit_new=10%3A1501103131
(Can also be found by googling 'bukoya' and looking in his Deviant Art Gallery for 'the picture called 'tail fascination')
Chapter 13 – Chaos Magnets
"Oh this should be good," Jack said quietly, leaning over to Skye as they watched from the side of the food court as everyone's attention fixed on the ZNN Broadcast. She quietly shushed him, though she was grinning broadly too.
'-Biting and nipping among predators can be anything from strictly playful, to intimate…'
Every mammal's head in the food court shifted from the TV screen with the news broadcast to the grey wolf that had spoken, "Nadine does he mean like-"
"NOOO!" all the heads swiveled to the suddenly flustered tigress next to him that he was looking at with a curious expression.
"No what? No, it's not playful? No, its not intimate? Because when I nipped you earlier-"
"SHHH!" the tigress desperately tried to quiet him as she glanced around only to see everyone, including the shell-shocked bunny and fox staring at them and squeaked like a mouse.
"You know," Wolford continued despite her efforts to stop him, "you never answered me when I asked about that before, that or about the nose boops." Fangmeyer's squeak this time was so high it was almost inaudible and her eyes got a little wide and panicky as Wolford's tail began to wag, "Because I'm starting to think that all that isn't just playing around like it is for wolves."
"YES, I mean Yes it is! Is just play! Aghh! No! Don't listen to a thing he's saying!" She nearly shouted sounding panicked while gesturing agitatedly at the TV.
All the heads in the food court bouncing back and forth between the two as they watched, then followed her gestured to the TV.
'As for the feline 'dominance fights'…'
There was a terrified and strangled sounding meep from the tiger and she threw her paws over the wolf's eyes as his head also followed her wild gestured.
"Ralph! I said Not to listen! He doesn't have a clue what he's talking about!"
"But he's a feline."
"and a behavior specialists."
"all the reason more not to listen to him!"
"Sooo then… this whole thing about dominance fights?"
"That's Different!" The tiger yelped, her ears splaying back as the wolf looked up at her and she seemed to try looking in any direction but at him, "We've had all sorts of fights since we've known each other!" She said desperately, cheeks now reddening as the wolf caught her gaze and she waved her paws back and forth in front of him urgently, "Sparing matches at the academy! Practice at ZPD training! Even just practice during workouts at the gym! We have fights all the time! There's nothing different about what happened this morning!"
"I didn't say anything about this morning," Wolford said a grin appearing as his tail picked up speed.
"Ohhh! Score one for the wolf!" Jack snickered quietly and Skye had to work not to laugh as the poor blushing tiger only managed to stammer.
"Shush you!" She said, swatting him playfully as a giggle escaped, "No comments from the peanut gallery!"
"You could always join me in the peanut gallery," Jack said offering her a bag of roasted peanuts with a smugly charming grin, "It's more fun here anyway."
Skye tried to resist, she really did but Jack just smiled with that charming devil may care smile of his and shook the bag teasingly.
She huffed before accepting and taking a pawful of the peanuts, "Where did you even get these?" she whispered, turning back to watch the show as she popped some peanuts into her mouth.
Jack just smiled as he sidled up next to her, his arm wrapping around her back. "The peanut food stand right behind us." he chuckled and she huffed again even as she leaned into him and let her tail wrap around his legs. She couldn't help but smile as she munched on a few more peanuts and watched the drama unfold.
Oh Gods, Oh Gods, Oh Gods! Why are we on TV?!
Nadine's mind was in a panic, Everyone was looking at them, That stupid doctor on the news was still speaking and Ralph had gone from looking just as freaked out as her to freaking looking at her, and looking at her far to perceptively.
Oh Gods, I just sort of asked Ralph to stay over tonight so we can talk about our relationship and now it's being analyzed by Doctors on TV before we've even figured it out?!
Oh and don't forget the fact that up until now you've managed to side step his questions about what bites mean to cats… another part of her mind noted.
Oh gods… She did not want to explain that to Ralph.
And boops too…
The memory of him smiling and tapping her nose ran through her mind unhelpfully,
Aaaand now he's going to want to know about how feline's court and especially that little bit about how it's finalized…
Oh Gods… She was screwed, Royally Screwed,
Which thinking back on this morning might have sort of already happened…
WHAT!? No, NO it couldn't have, 'We' couldn't have already, we're just starting to date, we can't finish dating before we even started! She glanced back at Ralph… Which was a mistake. Not only was his look perceptive but it had a bit of that winter predatoriness that made little bits of excited lightning run through her.
He did mark you…
Nadine froze for a second, staring at Ralph as her whole body flushed, then at his too perceptive nose…
Nobody Knows about that. That's a secret, a 'I'll ice you' if you tell anybody secret. I killed that secret, murdered it in the first degree and Buried it under a mountain of deodorant.
Gods if anyone found out about that, if Ralph found out about that… Well, if anyone found out she'd be going to prison for the rest of her life, locked up with a life time sentence and no chance of parole. That's how Megan liked to describe it anyway: A one way ticket to a two person cell with a white dress as the prison garb. Granted, it might be a very nice prison with the advantage of the best mammal she could imagine as her prison companion for life… But she wasn't ready to give in yet! She barely understood the crime she'd committed…
And that would be one felony charge of 'falling for that 'Wolf' ', plus one count of theft for his missing workout shirt and an assault charge for kissing him unconscious. That annoying smug little Megan voice in her head said.
Oh and a side misdemeanor of ogling said wolf for the last couple of years whenever you got the chance.
LIAR! I have NOT!
Sure you haven't, just keep telling yourself that you've never eyed him or his tail up in the gym.
I AM NOT A WOLF EYER! LIES! ALL OF IT!
And this court adds a count of perjury for that blatant denial.
Shut it or I'll bury you too! I successfully hid his scent mark this morning, I can hide your body as well. You have no proof and I'll only turn myself in when I'm ready.
Proof? He also marked and claimed your bed and then you claimed his ass, literally.
… shit. She'd left loose ends everywhere. But Ralph doesn't know what that means!
Well, not yet… but that doctor on the TV is probably going to explain it.
Ralph broke through Nadine's panicked thoughts then, taking a step closer to her and her breath hitched.
"You know, what happened this morning sure didn't seem like our normal sparing," he said, looking just like he did when he was undercover and closing the trap on their target.
"S-s-sure i-it w-was." She barely managed to get out as he slowly sauntered closer to her and she gulped.
"So you're saying the next time we spar I can kiss you into submission and then leave a hickey on your rear?" he asked, a wolfish glint in his eyes.
"I, ah… wha- next time?" she stammered, flushing badly and trying to drag her eyes off of his. She couldn't think right while he was looking at her like that. It made her want to run (and also hope the he would chase her) but that would involve getting her brain to work. He was too close, too close to her… she could smell him now, his still slightly damp fur from their dunking earlier smelling like it had this morning after his shower. He was too close, looking at her with too much of that wild winter wolfishness and her mind was turning to complete mush.
What, I, ah… THINK! Do something, Say something!
"… you'd, ah… have to win first." The words came out before she thought about what she was saying and Ralph's grin doubled in intensity.
"Really? So, if I win, I can kiss and nip you and boop your nose all I want, even though I apparently don't have a clue what it means?" he said smiling widely, so close to her now that they were almost touching and Nadine found she was having trouble breathing while her eyes were stuck on Ralph's intense gold ones. They glinted in a teasingly playful and happy manner but there was also a predatory wolf on the hunt in those gold depths. A wolf that seemed quite ready and willing to go hunting a tiger and she, stupidly, just couldn't seem to look away.
"I, ah, I, ah…" that used up most the remaining air in her lungs and before she thought about it she used the rest to squeak out the first coherent thing that came together in her head,
"You'll never beat me."
"Challenge accepted," Ralph said grinning hugely and then Nadine's world spun.
Part of Ralph recognized that he was starting to act rashly, part of him was still worried over the fact that his parents and his pact were going to no doubt see this news broadcast (and that part of him shuddered at the potential fallout of that) but the majority was focused on his tiger. And he really couldn't think of her in any other way, not now, not after everything that had happened today, not with how she'd invited him over tonight. 'They' might not be official yet but there wasn't ever going to be anyone else for him. He already knew that even if he had to wait for Nadine to tell him what he was pretty sure she felt.
Because if she hadn't said it, well… said it directly at least, she'd certainly seemed to be telling him in just about every other way; If the kissing and this morning, not to mention the love tunnel or her invitation to stay over tonight weren't clues there was the way she smelled too.
With most of her deodorizer from this morning washed away from their little swim after the boat had flipped he could finally smell her right. It was like taking dark sunglasses off in a dim room, just for his nose, and he could smell her, not just her normal base scent like that of jungle flowers and warm sunny breezes, but he could smell the way her mood was effecting her scent, the softening of it when she was relaxed, how it sharpened when she was surprised and especially how it sweetened when they'd kissed or like now when she was staring at him with that flustered expression.
Ralph breathed in, letting it fill him, all the little intricacies of her scent, a scent that was stronger than it normally was too. Without the deodorant and without whatever she normally used for this time of year, there was no doubt now that she was in heat either. It had a different flavor from a she-wolves heat, but if anything he found it more appealing. And mixed in, all among her scent where traces of his from when they'd dried each other off and she'd carried him. His scent. His scent all over her almost like he'd scent marked her, claimed her as his mate. He could almost imagine he had with the way their scents had mingled, his and hers, his tiger's.
He knew he was letting it get to him, that he was playing a dangerous game, that he wasn't thinking all that clearly, but she smelled so nice, and she had asked him to come over tonight so they could actually talk about what this was between them, asked him over to her den, her den which he'd marked and she hadn't contested… well, unless throwing him onto that bed and kissing the hell out of him was a refute. And on top of all that was the slightly odd almost flustered behavior she'd been having all day with the nipping and booping and the hickey on his rear. He'd thought at first it might just be a more playful side of Nadine he'd never seen before, what with them sort of starting a relationship together, but he'd had a growing suspicion that it might be more than just that. A suspicion that was helped along by how cagy and embarrassed Nadine had been.
And if that meant more than what he'd thought… well he wanted to howl out how he felt but Nadine had asked him to wait.
Even still, Ralph couldn't stop his tail from wagging or the need to be closer to her. She'd slipped up big time, what with what the doctor being interviewed was saying, and all but confirmed his suspicions and more. But he needed to know, needed to know just what this morning's tussle and her bite meant to her. Needed to know from her.
"You know," he started saying slowly, a massive giddy grin on his face as he moved toward her, "what happened this morning sure didn't seem like our normal sparing,"
Nadine's eyes got a little bit bigger and she stammered out a reply, "S-s-sure i-it w-was." And he grinned even more as his heart seemed to jump.
No, no it wasn't.
They'd grown to know each other well over the years and despite her words he could easily tell what her real thoughts were; and judging by the way she gulped, she knew that he'd seen through her.
Ralph took another breath as he closed the distance between them, feeling almost drunk on her scent. It was a mess, that heavier than normal winter heat mixed with excitement and embarrassment and confusion and panic all jumbled in there chaotically. But amid all the other bits of her scent, with every step closer he took, was a steadily rising smell of her arousal.
"So you're saying the next time we spar I can kiss you into submission and then leave a hickey on your rear?" he asked, now right up next to her and could smell the sudden hard spike in her scent before she even flushed and stammered, "I, ah… wha- next time?" and her scent flared again making his heart rate spike as well, "… you'd, ah… have to win first." She was looking right at him, with those beautiful hazel gold flecked eyes of hers. Staring right back at him while her cheeks flushed pink, stared at him with a sort of terrified excited desperation, stared at him like it was a challenge.
She'd won this morning and she'd won again earlier when he'd asked after the purring incident on the bench, though he'd almost gotten her then…
Really, he didn't care if he won or not, but he couldn't back away from this. Plus he wanted to know and every tussle he'd ever had with Nadine, whether physical or verbal was always fun.
"Really?" he couldn't hold back face splitting grin as he asked, just to make sure, "So if I win, I can kiss and nip you and boop your nose all I want, even though I apparently don't have a clue what it means?"
He was so close to her, he could almost feel her rapid heartbeat as her scent went wild and she stammered out, "I, ah, I, ah," She was staring right back into his eyes before she finally stammered, "You'll never beat me."
Some part of him knew it probably wasn't the smart thing to do, be her scent was like a fog in his mind and he couldn't bring himself to stop from responding to her provocation.
"Challenge accepted," he said smiling gleefully back at her and moved. He was so close to Nadine that all he needed to do was slip his leg behind hers and twist while taking one of her paws in his and tugging. In one smooth motion Nadine was spinning to the side, off balance with her arms flailing as she fell. He moved in, his other arm wrapping around her back to catch her and he grunted as he stopped her heavier descending weight while her flailing arms latched themselves around the back of his neck.
Ralph grinned toothily, now holding her like she was some fainting damsel and looked down at his stunned tiger who meeped and blushed furiously.
"Well now, that wasn't so hard." He said teasingly and tapped her nose lightly with his free claw like an admonishment, "You usually put up a better fight Nadine!"
Nadine blinked going cross eyed for a second as she stared at his finger and a noise like something halfway between a growl and a purr came from her before her eyes snapped back to his now blazing with heat and fire.
"That was a dirty trick!" she practically roared, then leaned up and kissed him deeply.
Ralph's tail exploded into motion as her sudden kiss superseded every other thought in his mind, only for reality to come crashing back as he felt his leg kicked out from under him and he went tumbling to the ground. Nadine rolled him, coming up on top, but before she could stop and secure the position, he shifted using their momentum and rolled her instead.
"Un-Un!" Ralph said smirking like a fool from ontop of her from where they'd stopped, paws tangled up with each other's, "We aren't in your house anymore!" and just to prove it, kissed her hard and fast like she had to him.
Nadine squirmed for a second and almost rolled him again before she gave in and was kissing him back, almost seeming to shift the fight to their kiss as there muzzles moved against one another. Ralph growled pleasurably into the kiss but finally pulled away even as Nadine tried to stop him.
He came up to ruckus cheers from those around them and the chattering of the TV news that was still running though he ignored it all as he looked down partner, who thankfully, was to flustered by that kiss to put up a real fight right at the moment, though her cheeks started flaming prettily again as she took in the noise around them.
Nadine leaned up just enough to bury her face in his chest like she wanted to hide from it all and muttered loudly, "You Cheater!"
"All's fair in love and war, Nadine." He growled happily and kissed her patterned stipes on the top of her head.
Her head thumped into his chest again and she muttered something about that word and their promise.
"What? It's just a quote." He smirked and kissed her ear, "So what about those nips and boops? I think I won this time."
"Nooo! Not in Public!" Nadine squeaked, her head snapping up to look at him… and almost booping her nose into his.
Ralph grinned, his tail wagging madly and he gave her nose a small lick.
Nadine meeped again, even her orange fur on her cheeks darking with her blush.
"So, care to tell me why not then?" he asked and impossibly she blushed more.
"NOOO!" she squeak-roared and buried her face back in his chest.
Ralph contemplated what to do then and mentally shrugged, before shifting and wrapping his arms around Nadine to hug her and let her cuddle up to him a bit more. He breathed in her comforting scent, not really caring about anything else for the moment because he had his tiger there with him and even if she wouldn't explain, wouldn't tell him, he was nearly certain she wasn't going to leave either.
And only then, as they were sitting there, Ralph half straddling Nadine's lap while she apparently tried to hide from the world in his shirt, did he start processing what was being said on the TV.
'…allows them to show off for each other; to display their strength, agility, and dominance, while the 'bite' is essentially a claiming statement… relationship will only ever progress to that of actual mates after the dominance display… essentially taken each other as life-mates…'
Ralph's breath caught, and he mentally rewound what he'd heard to make sure he'd understood it right.
The hitch must have caught Nadine's attention because she looked up from where she'd pressed her face into his shirt and looked at him almost shyly. Then she caught his expression and with a look of dawning horror glanced to where his attention was focused.
'-but to Officer Fangmeyer would have been akin to initiating a feline dominance…'
The panicked screech Nadine let out was like nothing Ralph had ever heard before and his gaze was abruptly jerked toward her as her paws grabbed his muzzle and yanked it away from the TV.
"RALPH! I said not to listen to that!" Her eyes were crazy wide and she looked like she was about to sling him over her shoulder and take off running.
"The bite this morning…" Ralph said sound almost drunk, "You bit my tail… then my-"
Her paw snapped his muzzle shut, stopping him from continuing as she waved wildly with her other paw.
"NO! That's not! I didn't! Your tail was just! I WON IT DAMNIT!" She ended up roaring that last bit, before turning to stare right at him growling dangerously, "I don't care what that stuck up Doctor says! It wasn't like that unless I saw it was! I won the fight! I get to take my victory Spoils! My Home! My Den! MY RULES! And that means I can take your fluffy tail as MY prize! NOTHING more!"
Nadine finished not sounding entirely rational and breathing rather hard.
Ralph glanced at the TV and then back at his tiger who looked like she was about ready to snap. His mind was still reeling from the implications… She'd claimed him things morning? So by feline customs were they already mates? Life-mates? … His heart felt like it might burst, He wanted to kiss her, mark her, tell her how much he loved her. But part of his mind was warning him that he might want to deal with his quasi-official mate before she lost it and went savage… he just needed to think of a way to do that, think past the fog in his mind from the way she smelled and from the potential meaning of her actions, Because after all, she didn't just bite my tail…
"you also bit my rear…" and left one hell of a bite hickey there… and wait, did I say that out loud?
Nadine's muzzle was suddenly pressed right into his and she growled menacingly looking half savage, "And THAT'S Mine Too!"
Ralph blinked, taken aback a bit by the unmistakable threat in her voice if anyone dared challenge her on that. His tail on the other hand new exactly how it wanted to respond to that and started to wag again. Ralph smiled looking right back into her eyes and simply said,
'Damned cat doesn't even have the dignity to…'
Nadine's head snapped back around to the TV which was showing an interview with goat, a goat whose voice Ralph recognized from this morning as her downstairs neighbor. There was a moment of complete silence in the food court as the TV interview continued, and Nadine stared at it and everyone else stared at her.
"I'M GONNA THRASH HIM!" Nadine roared jumping to her feet with her fur spiked agitatedly as she sent Ralph sprawling, "Spreading Gossip about me on TV now!? I'll Shave his fur and paint his horns Pink!"
"Nadine! Calm down! It's not that bad!" Ralph said getting back to his feet while Nadine looked around wildly like she could find the goat right there, "See," he pointed to the TV, "even his wife is on our side,"
Nadine looked back to the TV and for a second looked like she'd been gut punched.
"Mrs. Horsley is even gossiping about us?!" she squealed grabbing her ears.
"More like defending us," he said waving a paw at the TV and Nadine looked at him like he was crazy.
"Ralph! We haven't even gotten to talk whatever Us is and my Neighbors are gossiping about it! ON TV!
Ralph really only heard the those parts of what she'd said and his tail went a little wild as a truly idiotic grin appeared on his face.
"Sooo, does that mean that there is an official us now?"
That got an even crazier look than before which he took for something along the lines of 'Yes you Gigantic moronic dope!' and just made his tail wag more.
'…That sassy little nightmare of a neighbor even calls them WolfEyer because…'
Nadine had seemed about to say something else but her whiskers went all crooked as she heard that bit.
"MEGAN!" She roared loud enough that Ralph would have been surprised if the bobcat hadn't heard it from across the city.
Judy had frozen, utterly dumbstruck and completely horrified at the news broadcast. She didn't know how long she'd been like that, she didn't care, she just wished she could disappear. The day had been a series of up and downs, each one greater than the previous, and now… now after this latest debacle she just felt kind of… broken… like something in her had snapped.
Oh gods… everyone is going to think that we're together…
She'd taken one look at Nick and didn't think she could again. Maybe not ever. She'd never seen him lose his cool like that. Not when she'd hustled him and not even at the disaster of her first press conference. The way his fur and that oh so long tail of his had spiked like the worlds fluffiest pin cushion would have been cute… if it had been caused by the distress of seeing them errantly shown as a couple on the carrot freaking news!
He's never going to want to be even seen with me again, not after that,
How could something so spikey look so soft?
If we're seen together people might think It's true!
His tail like tripled in fluff, maybe quadrupled, how could anything be that fluffy looking?
What if he doesn't want to be partners after this?
Serendipity and I though his winter coat looked fluffy before…
I don't want to lose him as my partner!
But it's impossibly fluffy looking now, utterly ridiculously sinfully fluffy,
We won't even be able to see each other outside of work or mammals will talk,
No workouts together, No going to movies together, No eating together
His Tails A fluffstrosity, a Fluffpocalypse, A Fluffing Fluffplosion
He might not want to even be seen at my apartment,
Gods his tail could cause a fluffdemic,
That means no bad movie nights not-actually-cuddling cuddling with him on the couch,
I only got to run my paws through it before! *Internal wail of despair*
What if he doesn't want to even be friends after this?! *Internal wail of despair*
Judy could feel her body start to shake as her mind seemed to implode.
I'll die of fluff deprivation! *Internal wail of despair*
I lost him as my friend once after the conference, I can't lose him again! *Internal wail of despair*
She was jarred back to reality from the absolutely unreasoning mess her mind had turned into only to realize that she wasn't shaking but that Nick was shaking her shoulder.
"Yesh, don't turn all veggie brained on me, Carrots." He pulled his arm back, keeping a measured space between them, and while Judy could still see he was agitated, his hackles still up, he was far more in control of himself than the fluffing mess he had been a minute ago.
"Okay, Carrots how do you want to handle this," Nick gestured quickly at the TV showing the news broadcast, before looking back at her, an almost pleading looking on his face, "If we want any control over it we need to figure this out quick and we both need to be reading from the same playbook."
He… He's still talking to me… Judy gaped at him for a second trying to get her head back in gear as part of her screamed, Grab his fluffy tail before it escapes again!
Judy quashed that stupid thought, before she acted on it and willed her brain to start working again.
"I- ah, say what?" she managed to get out, um… okay not the most cogent statement but it's a start. Come on Judy Think! Get that fluffy out of your brain!
Nick's tenuous hold on his cool seemed to slip a bit at her answer and his next words all came out in a rush.
"Okay, Judy. I know you probably wouldn't want anyone thinking that were dating… when where not, because of course were not, and your family will probably freak out and- never mind. Look my point is that the whole bit the news reporter about us isn't true, but if we start acting like that," Nick gestured over toward Ralph and Nadine just as the tiger yelped, "That's Different!" and started blushing furious while Ralph's jaw dropped gaping for a second before his tail started to wag, "Everyone is going to think it's true! … when it's obviously not! Anybody could see it's not! Hell we're probably only part of this because they were putting together a story about Nadine and Ralph for a valentine's day special because of course," he added sarcastically, "a interspecies relationship in the ZPD would make for a great juicy news bit and someone probably thought, 'hey, those two new officers are always around each other and two interspecies couples is a juicer story than one!' It's a whole big misunderstanding because we've just best friends and always hanging out with each other, right?"
Judy blink as the Nick's flood of words ended, and then something Skye had said earlier rolled through her mind,
-If you want to know who he's in love with then just watch to see what girl he spends most of his time around, with it being winter, he's going to want to be as close to her as possible-
She quashed that stupid desperate fancy too and focused back on Nick as his forced hustler smile slipped a bit more and verged on breaking.
"Right, Judy?" Nick sounded almost like he was pleading now, "Their story is just a misunderstanding because were best friends. There's no reason to let that story stop that…"
Judy finally got her mind to start working properly and managed a reply.
"Misunderstanding… right." Nick's whole posture relaxed a just a bit, and she continued "of… of course. No reason to let that come between us."
Nick's hackles dropped and he seemed to almost sigh with relief as the panic behind his mask receded and his normal calm reasserted itself… more or less.
"Right," Nick said again, smiling more normally, "All we need to do is not let anyone see that they get to us.
Wait… does that mean it does get to him?
Her thought was cut off as a scuffle followed by the oddest sounding meep Judy had ever heard distracted her and she looked over to see Nadine draped across Ralph arm, paws around his neck like some princess in a play.
"Or act like that." Nick added with an actual snicker as Nadine, seeming extremely flustered, accused Ralph of cheating, then kissed him in a very un PG way before promptly kicked out his leg. All to the cheers and whistles of the crowd in the food court that seemed to have their attention on the two kissing/fighting mammals (and thankfully not on her or Nick) as the other two grappled, rolling on the ground.
"What are they doing?" Judy asked dumbfounded and blushing a bit.
"Probably having that Dominance fight or whatever Professor Pipe on the TV is talking about right now." Nick said pointing over his shoulder as he watched them too and Judy shifted an ear to listen to the report… and blushed a bit more.
"Oh! I ah… I didn't know they were, well that far along in their relationship…" she said trailing off a bit as Nick snickered again.
"Doesn't matter now what it is, because with everyone seeing that after the news report that's exactly what mammals will think." He turned back to Judy, his expression growing serious, "Which is exactly my point Judy. Everyone is focused on them at the moment which gives us a moment to figure out what we want to do."
"Figure out what?" she repeated dumbly trying to drag her blushing gaze away from the two.
"Figure out how we want to handle the rumors. We could make a public fuss over it. Go on the air deny it and all. We could just ignore it and act like nothing happened, until all the hype dies down. But whatever we do, we need to make sure that it's not that," he gestured at their freidns again, "and that we are on the same page or everyone will think were just hiding something and the rumors will never go away."
"If… if we made a big fuss over it, everyone still might just think we're trying to hide it…" Judy said thinking over what he said. Having Nick calmly laying out possible plans and ideas was helping her relax and think straight again, unlike her near complete freakout earlier. He was still here, still right next to her, still her friend, and this was such a normal routine for them from working cases and swapping ideas that it made her feel… comfortable, right, normal. Made her feel like nothing had changed and they were still best friends and partners… well police partners, not that kind of partners. She gave her mind a mental shake to dislodge those thoughts and returned to the issue at hand.
"Probably true, so we just ignore it all? Laugh at it whenever anyone askes like its ridiculous?" Nick said with a grin and a small chuckle.
"Yep, That's exactly what we'll do Slick," she said trying to force some energy and cheer into her voice, and gave a forced laugh, "Because really, us, a bunny and a fox? What are the chances of that? It would be like… like…" She waved her paw around desperately, as her mind caught up with her mouth and she wished she'd thought a little more before she'd spoken or better yet just not said anything at all.
Because I'd give anything to have that chance… she thought, her cheer evaporating.
"Like…" her waving paw pointed at where Nadine and Ralph where, now apparently done with their tussle, and staring at the TV in shock.
Like a wolf and a tiger falling in love…
Judy blushed and quickly looked away from Nick right as there was a panicked shout From Nadine.
"Hopps and Wilde seem to be taking this far better than I'd have expected," Jack said reaching over for some of the peanuts from the bag Skye was now holding, "on the other hand I think Fangmeyer is losing it."
"I'M GONNA CURL THAT CATS WHISKERS!"
"I actually think she's taking it pretty well," Skye said with slight smile as she teasingly moved the bag just out of his reach.
"Nadine come on! Calm down! You can't do that!"
"Oh Hell YES I can! I'll Borrow Mrs. Hornsly's curling iron!"
Jack reached from a different angle only for the bag to move at the last second, and frowned contemplating the teasing little smile on Skye's muzzle and how he might steal his peanuts back from the vixen even as he replied, "Well, you would think that wouldn't you, I mean you only blew up Doctor Meow's island when you got upset during that first case of ours." Jack leaned in close to her and made a grab for the peanuts... and missed.
"I didn't blow it up!" Skye huffed indignantly, and Jack was about to respond when the feeling of her paw sneaking around his back and to grab his tail startled him, "The volcano did that," she continued huffily, though Jack could see the small smirk she was trying to hold back.
There was a light pinch and Jack gave an involuntary hop, a hop that sent him right into her side, "I just might have, oh, helped the volcano a little bit." She said her tail snuggly wrapping around him while she popped a few more peanuts in her mouth, "And Doctor Meow was totally insane anyway, he wasn't even a cat! And seriously, who builds a secret 'evil overlord' base buried in the heart of a little volcanic island?"
"Judy! Nick! A little help here? Tell her I'm right!" Ralph shouted, his arms wrapped around Nadine's waist ineffectually as she dragged him with her toward the street.
"Oh good Idea! Judy your friends with Fru Fru right? Does she need a new rug? Because I'm Going To Shave Her Tail When I'm Done With Her Whiskers!"
Jack tried not to fidget or blush as Skye's paw kept playing with his tail and contemplated his position, practically wrapped up by Skye's tail and snuggled into her side while her paw teased him.
Damnit, she just suckered me into a fluffy trap and with my own peanuts too.
He thought about that for just a bit more and amended that last thought.
"Nadine, I… ah, think Ralph's right. Doing that won't help!" Judy said joining in on the soap opera only to get a large dose of tiger death glare which didn't seem to faze the bunny at all.
"Ralph! Just kiss her again!" Nick pipped up and got an even harsher glare that should have stripped his fur from his body.
"You stay out of this 'WILDEHOPPS'! I'm going too- mhhhphh…", Ralph had given up trying to hold her back, wrap his arms around her neck instead of her waist and pulled her head down enough to take Nick's advice and kiss her solidly.
"Ohh! One point for Nick but the tiger scores a double." Skye chortled as the bunny squeaked and looked away from the fox while his tail puffed again and he started coughing.
"And that there is another lesson in why it's never a good idea to poke your nose into another couples affair, particularly when the female is angry and in heat." Jack snicker, then meeped as his tail was pinched.
"I hope that wasn't directed at me, because Doctor Meow got exactly what he deserved." Sky said sniffing slightly and then added, "Plus it's not like we or Bogo aren't doing that with those two." She nodded toward the flustered 'wildehopps', "so what does that say about us?"
"Well first we're not sticking our noses in their business, we're poking it with a ten foot stick to see if they'll finally explode like that," he gestured to the tigress with the wolf dangling from her neck right as she managed to break free of the kiss and snarl, "Oh NO! Don't think you can distract me like that! Not this time- mhhmumhhh…"
"plus," Jack continued, "Hopps is a bunny, they don't go into heat."
Skye snorted, "You should know better Jack, being a hare and all. Bunnies don't go into heat because there always in heat. And if Karma has anything to say about us or this conspiracy messing around with them, then you can be sure she'll get her revenge."
This time it was Jack's turn to snort, "And if Karma has anything to say about you using that stereotype about us Lapines then you'll certainly be in for it as well." and he pinched her tail in turn and made another grab for the peanuts even getting a paw on the bag… before Skye managed to yank it away.
Skye smirked down at him even as a light blush shown through her light fur, "Well I kind of hope I'm 'in for it' Jack," she tweaked his tail, a bit of rumble in her voice, "But I've got quite a lot of first hand evidence that lapine's are always in heat anyway. Wouldn't you say Mr. 'humper."
"It was Thumper not humper," Jack said indignantly working hard to not let a blush show on his face. Then groaned at the futility of trying to hide his reaction to her as Skye leaned in, her nose sniffing, and a very pleased smile spreading across her face.
"You should listen to your own advice Mr. 'Humper, and just agree with the female when she's in heat."
There was the sound of dishes clattering as the tiger stumbled and bumped a table before breaking free of the kiss again.
"-not g-going to stop… m-me!" Nadine growled with savage intent, her breathing rather heavy now, "I'm… I'm…"
Wolford didn't kiss her again, instead he pulled himself up, wrapping his legs around her waist so he could look straight down, directly into her half savage eyes. Then in a deliberate motion, booped his nose against hers.
The tiger stopped dead, eyes locked with the wolfs, and there was a collective intake of breath from the on-watchers, while the news report continued in the background of the sudden silence.
'Well that seems to be quite the fairy tale romance story.' The ZNN's feline anchor said, 'Quiet fitting for Valentine's day wouldn't you think?'
Then Fangmeyer ROARED, her eyes going fully savage and she was mauling Wolford.
Well, Jack thought 'mauling' might not have been exactly the right word for what she was doing but it was close enough considering the ferocious way she was kissing him, nipping at his neck, and putting holes in his shirt with her claws as she pulled him closer. The very air seemed to nearly vibrate from the growling purr she was emanating.
"Well," Jack said a bit shocked and taken aback, among other things, by the sudden… mauling? attack? Savaging?, "I think your right Skye, Hell your always right, I really should just listen to whatever a female in heat says." She snickered and kissed him between the ears.
"Nadine?! Oh gods, Nadine-mhhhphmh *pant*," the tiger had the wolf pinned now, up against the side of one of the food stalls as he seemed to struggle under her assault; his tail was going berserk in fits and starts as he seemed to try resisting the kisses and nips, "Nadine! public, can't! Not here! Balto help me! *groan*" He looked like he was struggling not to lose it now too, panting between breaths, and angled his muzzle up in an effort keep his mouth out of kissing range.
The tiger though simply shifted her attack, purring even deeper as she rubbed her head and ears under his uplifted chin and along his muzzle, then did it again, arching with a feline liquidity as she rubbed her head against him with her eyes half lidded as a purely primal purr emanated from her.
"Oh gods… *groan*…"
Jack watched in a sort of fascinated aroused horror unable to look away and now supremely aware of his mate leaning against him, her tail wrapped around him as her paw…
A bolt lightning seemed to run through him as she lightly tugged on his tail and simultaneously nipped the base of his ear.
"You usually don't agree so fast. Why, you aren't worried that I might go savage on you too are you?" she tweaked his tail again and Jack cursed his lapine nature, because true to form there was part of him that wished she would go savage on him like that with a rock hard certainty.
"You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?" he accused and she didn't even bother hiding her grinning smile.
She nuzzled his head for a second and he felt his fur flutter as she breather through her nose before saying playfully, "I do like the smell of steamed wabbit, I wonder just how much teasing you can take before you finally snap and go savage on me."
"Nadiiiiiiiiiine!" Wolford called out desperately in a strangled panting shout, that cut off Jack's automatic retort to Skye's teasing pet name for him.
Hare, I'm a hare darnit! And wow, that's one hell of a purr and Skye needs to stop moving her tail against me like that! Jack's usually steady heart rate doubled, then doubled again as Skye started toying with his ear like she always did when she intended to see just how riled up she could get him, Oh gods, watching this is putting her in one of those moods… The rest of the afternoon was going to be hell, a never ending water drip torture by loving teases. And he still had the concert to get through before he could drag her back home to their bedroom, dancing with Skye when she's like this? She's going to make that the hardest most trying experience of my life…
"Nadine! stop! We're in a- ohhh gods."
He could already feel his foot starting to thump away with his impatient. And he could feel Skye's grin as she just nuzzled him again.
Jack needed a distraction and quick, a distraction from Skye's teasing, from that tiger's purring because there was no damned way just freaking purring and rubbing could, should, possibly be that erotic and now he could feel Skye rumbling low in her chest…
Quick damnit because if you don't think of something else right freaking now, you are going to be one blue cooked wabbit by tonight!
I mean Hare damnit!
Jack tore his eyes away, though his excellent hearing for once was completely betraying him.
"Nadine! w… w… we *pant*"
His eyes landed on the peanut bag in Skye's paw and with a strained grin at the chance to win one of her little games while Skye tortured him for the rest of the afternoon, he grabbed for it… and she moved it out of reach just in the nick of time with a snicker.
"Really Skye? You're just going to steal my peanuts like that?" he said in frustrated exasperation.
"But…" Skye started giggling in a ridiculously cute way, before saying with a pout, "I like holding your nuts."
" *moan* *whimper* Nadiiiiine!"
Forget the bedroom or even the couch, as soon as they made it through the front door…
He could already feel his foot starting to thump away with his impatient need. And he could feel Skye's grin as she nuzzled him again. Just need to make it home tonight… get through the door… the foyer wall will do, hell the door will do…
There were two wolf howls from another part of the park, rising and falling, twining together,
*AWwwwoooooOOOOOOOOOO* Wolford let out a primal unrestrained howl like the sound of desperate longing and need made manifest.
And like match being thrown into gas, the food court erupted in howls as every canid in the vicinity picked up the howl, Wolford the loudest among them all.
Bogo couldn't remember the last time his spirits had been this high. He was on his way to a gazelle concert, his wife was here beside him happy as could be, the savages we're minding his two little chaos magnets and best of all, he was out of that absolutely horribly ridiculous costume.
Things finally seemed like they might be turning around and going his way. He thought he might actually be… smiling? Huh, he couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled without forcing the expression. He looked down at his hoof held in Bess's as they walked and listened to the happy little ditty she was humming absentminedly and couldn't help the warm fuzzy feeling that built up inside. Why, he even felt like being a little naughty, maybe very naughty. Bogo smiled; He couldn't remember the last time he'd loosened up a bit either.
Do it! whispered a little voice in his mind, You know you want too!
Don't! That's against the ZPD code of conduct behavioral guide lines! Said another voice countering the first.
Pfftt, loosen up already, you're not even on the clock right now! That first little voice had a point, but it sounded a little too much like Wilde was sitting on his shoulder whispering devilish ideas in his ear for his comfort.
Not being on the clock doesn't mean you should still follow all the rules! And now that other side sounded too much like that over-enthusiastic, always on duty, bunny. Sheesh even he needed a break from the police force every once in a while, but he was pretty sure she'd live at the precinct if she could.
You mean behave like a stuck up old buffalo butt! Don't listen to that fluffed up little angle Bogo! Said the devil fox's voice as it seemed to take form in his imagination and sit on Bogo's shoulder before making faces at the little angel bunny that appeared on his other.
Hey that was uncalled for! The little haloed bunny said huffily and the harp she was carrying poofed into the ZPD handbook which she brandished at him, Name calling is against rule 37 of the ZPD-
Seriously? You're going to quote the rules at me? the little horned devil (he really didn't look all that different from the actually fox, what with his already red fur) poked the book with his devil fork and yanked it out of her paws, No wonder mammals think you're a stiff old fart if you if all you ever do is follow these!
He is not! And give that back that's ZPD property! The bunny shouted in indignation though she seemed more concerned about the book.
Pffttt, imaginary ZPD property, the devil fox said and the book in his paw went up in a puff of fire and smoke while the angel bunny squealed in horror, your better without that anyway, besides rule 1 was 'No fun allowed'.
It was not! It was to always look out for the wellbeing of the city's citizenry first! The little white robbed bunny on his shoulder glared at the devil fox on his other, her foot starting to thump away rapidly.
The devil horned Wilde on his shoulder gave the angel Hopps one of his oh so annoying cock sure grins as he leaned casually against Bogo's neck, And isn't that exactly what I'm doing? Looking out of his wellbeing? All work and no play makes Bogo grumpy old fart. Shesh, it would probably make him less grumpy if you didn't work so hard and took some time off once in a while so he could have a break. Why I'd even love to help you put your ears down for a bit. The fox gave the bunny a sly wink and she blushed and stammered and barely caught her halo before it fell out of place.
I… I... I do h-have fun! A-And so does Bogo! Why he even cracks jokes during the morning briefings! The angel bunny said, red cheeked and putting her halo back in place though it was a bit crooked now.
Oh sure, he really had had everyone going with 'lets acknowledge the elephant in the room' joke, the devil fox rolled his eyes and Bogo couldn't help muttering to himself. He'd thought that had been a rather clever. Bess had even helped him practice his delivery of that joke the night before and said she thought it was funny and cute.
You just can't appreciate a good joke! The Bunny said angrily, her ears snapping up… and whacking her halo so that it slumped forward all askew and blocker her vision.
No, the devil fox snickered as he reached over and stole the halo from the distracted angel bunny, then twirled it on his finger while she squawked angrily and tried to grab it back, I just have an actually sense of humor and fun, which is why he should do it!
The white robed bunny gave an embarrassed squeak as she tried and failed to get her halo back, But in public?! Have you no decency?! What would the anyone from the precinct say if someone saw?!
And where's the fun in decency? Bogo's imaginary devil version of Wilde said with another snicker as he flicked the Bunny's tail as she grabbed for the halo again. Then he winked at Bogo, You know you want to do it! Bogo was starting to become annoyed at his imagination now, first because it was making Wilde's antics seem appealing and second because why the hell do I have an imaginary bunny and fox in my thoughts?!
No! Don't listen to him Chief! the imaginary Hopps yelled now blushing furiously, Give that back Nick! Or Else! Chief, ignore him! He's trying to hustle you!
The devil fox only snickered at the bunny, Or else what cutey buns? Before he looked back at Bogo, You know you want to Buffalo Butt! Or is it Mr. Tush from stud magazine now? Because from what I heard all the cows have been ogling your Buns! You can't let her get away with that without getting back at her, now can you? Bogo frowned, nearly grinding his teeth at the Buffalo Butt bit, but the damned fox had a point, Bess had been poking fun at his rear and some payback was in order.
NOO! The flustered angel bunny cried tackling the fox to his shoulder, Chief Don't do it! you can't do that! Not in Public! Anything but THAT! Stop trying to corrupt the Chief Nick!
Just give in Bogo! The fox cackled rolling around on his shoulder with the bunny until they stopped with the frazzled little angle pinning the devil, the halo now nowhere to be seen, Come, give yourself to the Wilde side Bogo! Devil Nick said, cackling in a starwars voice, Muhahaha! Come! Join me and the Wilde Side of the Force! It is the only way if you ever want any fun! Muhahaha!
Shut Up Nick! Shut UP! The Bunny shouted desperately,
Make me. The fox smirked up at her and after a flustered sputtering second she kissed him… Much to Bogo's utter bewilderment and vast annoyance at the insanity of his thoughts.
Don't Do It Chief! The now not so angelic looking angle Hopps said from atop the fox after breaking the kiss. It's not proper!
Do It! and I'll make us go away! The devil Nick countered and then kissed the Bunny back.
Well that made his choice easy. Hell, Bogo's do the most unspeakably naughty thing he could if it would simply make those insane imaginings go away. And with a cackling laugh of, Victory!, and a cry of, NOOOOmmhphh… they finally, thank the gods, disappeared.
Bogo, still frowning, glanced over at his wife alongside him, holding his hoof as they walked. She thankfully hadn't seemed to notice his insane mental debate though and he had to work to hide a sudden very un-Chief like grin of gleeful anticipation.
'unspeakably naughty' huh? Well… Bess will never see it coming. It kind of feels good to be wilde… UGH! Bogo mentally slapped himself for that thought, I mean it feels good to let lose a bit.
Decision made, Bogo nodded his head and executed his oh so evil plan.
First he made sure not to look over at Bess and give away that he was planning anything (and in doing so, missed the excited grin that showed on her face as she watched him out of the corner of her eye).
Then, with extreme care, so as to not arouse suspicion, Bogo shifted closer and closer to her as they walked. Only once he was in the perfect position and still looking resolutely ahead like he was up to absolutely nothing at all, did he flick his tail over, as if flicking a fly, and swatted Bess's rump.
Bogo almost giggle aloud as Bess gave a small startled hop and 'Oh!'
Ogle my tush will you? Well then take that! And you can be sure that I'll be doing some ogling of that tush at the concert too!
"Did you just flick my rear dear?" Bess said in an accusatory almost gleeful way and Bogo had to work hard not to giggle like a teenager.
" *giggle* *Ehem* I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." He said in a perfectly controlled voice… and blushed.
"Well then…" Bess said grinning, and Bogo jumped, blushing even more as her tail swatted his rump, "I'd better stick really close to you since there are apparently some very rude mammals around." And she sidled up close to him leaning her head on his shoulder.
Best plan ever. Bogo thought grinning a bit, and to think that fortuneteller was spouting off prophecies of Doom and such, Ha! Even if they've been a bit bumpy, things are coming together, We even have the ZBI's best team working on-
Bogo's ear flicked as they walked past one of the park security mammals on the goofy little two wheel Segway things he'd absolutely vetoed from his department as the mammals walkie-talkie went off.
'Control theirs some sort of disturbance over by the east side Food Court-' a terrific roar interrupted him emanating from the walkie-talkie, 'Holy Crap, Control I think we have a 10-91! Savage Mammal, Tiger Going Sav- Oh. my. Gods-' there was a clattering sound like the walkie-talkie had been dropped, then nothing but static.
'Unit 7? Unit 7? What's your status? Update! All available security units near the east food court-'
"Honey, are you alright?" Bess asked, her usual cheer gone from her voice replaced by seriousness.
Bogo took a second to reorder his mind,
Savage Mammal? Somebody wouldn't be stupid enough to try continuing Bellwether's idiotic plan would they?
"Bess, did you hear that?" he asked and she nodded her head, "I'm sorry dear, I think I need to go see what's happening. This could be important," he said regret in his voice.
"Nothing to be sorry about!" Bess said her face full of determination, "It's your job to keep the city safe and you do a damn fine job of it!" Bogo could have kissed her then, except she took his hoof and started hurrying after the security bear as he zipped his Segway around, heading in the other direction. "Come on dear! You have your job to do!"
"Bess!" Bogo said a bit taken aback as he regained his footing, now running behind her as she led him, "You can't come too!"
"Oh yes I can! You might have to work on Valentine's day, but as soon as your done, your time is mine! Now hurry up so we can finish dealing with whatever this is!" She huffed as she ran.
"Bess they said it was a 10-91! You could get hurt!" Bogo replied between breaths as he spirted to keep up with his wife. She'd always been more of a runner while his strength was well… strength, then again watching her behind as she ran in front of him was so bad either.
"Not with you there, I can't!" She said gleefully and picked up the pace a bit more.
Bogo's response was cut off as two intertwined howls erupted close by followed by a heart rending response from somewhere ahead of them before it sounded like nearly every wolf in the park picked up the howl.
Chapter In Page Art!
(Ya, ya, this is Fanfiction DOT net, so You'll just have to go look it up, but its worth it!)
ocerydia DOT deviantart DOT com /art/The-Conspiracy-Bogo-devil-Nick-and-angel-Judy-695401024
Courtesy of OceRydia
Special Thanks for completeing this on a super tight schedule, You Rock Oce!
THE END... NOT!
This turns out to be only Part 1 of the final 3 Chapters - Check back this weekend for more
Operations Clock: 6.75 hours
Secret Squirrel Division Report:
MinscLovesBoo - Raided for ideas, again, and the squirrels apparently got drunk while over there this time ( #HoldMyBeer ). They returned and somehow started a howl even though i have no idea how exactly that came about in this story (checks orginial plot) Nope was not there before.
Uomo - You know what you did, STOP GIVING THOSE SQUIRRELS RANDOM IDEAS
Once more unto the breach, dear Bess, once more;
Or close the wall up with our Savaged dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a mammal
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war Howls in our ears,
Beware the intimate action of the tiger, for fear her wrath;
Stiffen thy sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Fight through thy visage, a fluffy hell,
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge,
Cry 'Gods for Duty, Zootopia, and KISS ALREADY YOU DAMNED BUNNY AND FOX!'
-From Wolfspear's: Bogo the V, Act III, Scene I