September 21st, 2005
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, about you hopes and dreams, about your wishes, about your sacrifices. Sometimes it makes me cry. I want so much to see you, for us to finally understand one another.
I'm not really ashamed of all of those years that I blamed you. I know now that it was a mistake to believe the things I did, but I'm only human, and humans have these things called "emotions" that often make us make mistakes.
I guess the point is that I've discovered so much these past few months, and although I'll probably always resent the time we had to spend apart, I know now that you had to make a choice, one that most people could never be strong enough to make.
No regrets though.
I thought you might want to know that I finally found it. One of my favorite memories are those of us lying in the grass in the back yard when I was small, looking at the clouds and talking endlessly about it. Well, his name is Inuyasha and he's wonderful. Not quite who we'd fantasized of, but wonderful. Better even. Because those fantasies were always so two dimensional. I'm sorry, it's the new scientist in me. Maybe someday you'll get to meet him.
Yeah, yeah I know, but please don't laugh.
I've seen a lot lately, and at this point, it would be silly for me not to believe in miracles.
So I'll say it. I know that's what you wanted. I believe in miracles.
I miss you.