Cupid Always Finds His Targets, Even If He Shoots Blindfolded

An Okita x Kagura Fan fiction

A/N: So this is my second Okikagu fanfic set in a royal AU and it's going to be a multi-chaptered one! I hope you enjoy reading it!

Disclaimer; I do not own Gintama and its awesome characters, except in my dreams.

Chapter 1: Never marry someone if you have never seen their face, because they might turn out to be extreme sadists.

Wedding bells rang throughout the city, echoing gleefully. The atmosphere was festive and cheerful, as the people flocked to the giant hall in the middle of the city. The hall was all decked up with flowers, streamers and lights, in honor of the upcoming royal marriage. Soon, in due time, the marriage began.

The citizens of the kingdoms of Rakuyou and Edo watched as their princess and prince went through the wedding ceremonies, almost mechanically. Both had covered their faces with elaborate masks. Only their eyes could be glimpsed through the slits. Reflecting that eyes were the mirrors of one's true feelings, the priest ruefully thought that he was definitely not officiating over a happy marriage.

Kagura felt herself choke up as the old father beside them declared them husband and wife. She glanced at the man in front of her, thinking bitterly, I'm the wife of that stranger now, yes? How ironic… Mami said that a woman can only smile when she gets married, but I don't feel anything now. Am I even married? Is this masked guy really going to be my life partner, when I don't even know what he looks like?

Unseen to everyone, her lips trembled as she remembered her sweet, loving mother, who was always so gentle, so kind and who had also been the cruelest, leaving her daughter all of a sudden, never to come back again, just to go to some stupid place called 'Heaven'. Having her father and brother leave had also hurt a lot, but she could still hope they would come back. Maybe not any more though, as Baka niichan hadn't even attended her mom's funeral, and her bald Papi hadn't even turned up for her 'wedding'. But they were still around, unlike her Mami. Lost in her thoughts, Kagura just wanted the stupid rituals to get over already. Why fuss over something that was only an illusion? They didn't know each other in the least, hadn't even seen each other. The only reason Kagura had agreed to the marriage was because she knew her responsibility as the princess of Rakuyou.

After her mother, the queen's death, her idiot dad had left abruptly and the kingdom was in near chaos. Without a ruler, there remained no one to control all the criminal elements in society, and there were certainly a great many in Rakuyou. In order to save her people, Kagura had to become the queen. But, as a blasted tradition went, she could never do so unless she was married to another royal. Which was why she was standing in a marriage hall, masked, marrying a prince she had never seen or heard of.

Sougo pursed his lips in frustration as the ceremonies dragged on. What the hell, since when had marriage become such a troublesome process? Silently cursing every tradition and princess of the continent, he wondered whether he would even let his 'wife' stay with him for a day. After all, he only required the title of a married man. His sister definitely hadn't specified anything about keeping his wife always beside him and moreover, he was the prince of the faraway planet of sadism. His sister….

She was the only reason Sougo had ever agreed to marry some princess he had never seen before. Mitsuba had always been sickly and a few months back, her health had taken a sudden turn for the worse. Lying on her deathbed, she had made her younger brother promise to be a responsible and just king and also to get married to a worthy princess, get a family and live well. It was the first and last request she had made of him and Sougo was prepared to do anything to keep it. But since he had no interest or desire to make arrangements for his marriage, he left everything to his adviser, Matsudaira 'Totsuan'. The old man had later told him of a princess of Rakuyou, who too was in urgent need of a partner. Sougo made no mention of marriage interviews or anything of that sort, for he wished to get the business over as soon as possible and also because no sane princess would ever agree to marry him once she discovered his true sadistic nature. Surprisingly, the princess too was equally willing to such terms, as conveyed by her messenger. And that was how Sougo found himself getting betrothed to a girl he had knew nothing about.

As the formalities were concluded, the priest chose not to ask the couple to kiss. He had a feeling that neither would appreciate it in the least. The people in general, though cheered and clapped as the royal couple climbed onto a beautiful carriage of gold, which then set off towards the bridegroom's kingdom, Edo. However, the faces of the retainers who followed the royal carriage were sadly, anything but celebratory. The princess' maids looked upset, worried that there was no guarantee that their dear 'little sister' would be happy with a complete stranger. However, they all looked up when their leader, Tsukuyo lightly scolded them, saying," Shame on ya'll, that make such gloomy faces! What would tha princess say ta see ya like this? This ain't gonna be making her any happier, so stop it! Now, we can only pray that we haven't made too bad a mistake, but we can keep on moving forward fer her, yanno. So tha' we can see Kagura smile another time, like she always does."

Meanwhile, inside the carriage, Sougo stared at the girl sitting beside him. She hadn't taken off her mask yet, making him more curious as to what she looked like. Totsuan had told him that the princess was said to be beautiful enough, and that she was definitely not a gorilla. Suddenly, he raised his eyebrows as the girl tugged at the strings attaching the mask to her face, removing it with a fluid motion.

What he saw surprised him. She looked nothing like a typical princess, with fiery red hair put up in a side bun and skin so white that it as well have been transparent. But what struck him most about the girl were her azure blue eyes, filled with spirit and spunk. She merely glared at him, huffing," I took off my mask, uh huh. Now take off yours! I don't want to travel with some masked creep, yes."

"Is that the way a princess speaks? You sound more like a gangster's brat. And who do you think you are to command the prince of Edo around? Are you sure you aren't an impostor?"

"Who the hell are you calling an impostor?! I'm Kagura, princess of Rakuyou! And I think you're the fake, wearing a mask to disguise yourself, uh huh!"

"I'll have you know that I'm the prince of Edo, Okita Sougo and there is no way in hell that I'll be listening to a brat like you. Besides, haven't you learnt any royal manners or etiquette?"

"Oh, I know you were expecting some weak, silly princess who'll bow to you and be all sugar and honey. But if that's what you're looking for, then you just married the total opposite, uh huh. Because I curse like a gangster, eat like a black hole, snore like an earthquake, fight like a demon and I'm damned proud of it!"

She's definitely one interesting princess… It'll be good fun to tame her and bring her down on her knees. I'll bet that she's all sass and no substance. Well, I should at least let her see the face of her future lifelong tormentor…..

Thinking thus, he pulled off his mask as well, noticing the brief flash of surprise in Kagura's eyes. He looks different, compared to all the other princes I've had the misfortune to see before… Those ruby red eyes are beautiful… Oi, Kagura, snap out of it! Don't go falling for an absolute stranger!

"Hypnotized by my dazzling looks, are we, China?"

"Who said your looks are dazzling, huh? You look plain creepy, with that smile! And what did you just call me?"

"I called you China. Are you deaf as well as brain damaged?"

"My name is Kagura, damn it! You know that, you sadist!"

"Well, you don't seem to be using my real name. And why ever are you calling me a sadist? You have completely broken my heart."

"You don't have a heart! And I'm calling you a sadist because you are one! Arggh, I can't believe I'm married to someone like you…"

"That should be my line, married to a rude, ugly China brat like you. Well, as there's no changing it, why don't call me sadistic husband and become my play toy?"

And thus, the staff at the royal palace of Edo got one of the biggest shocks of their life when they saw their future queen walk up to the doors of the palace, followed by their rather beaten up prince. When the Vice Commander of the guards, Toushirou Hijikata enquired as to what exactly had happened on the way, the only reply he got was, " China busted up the carriage when I asked her to be my play toy. Now please go and die Hijikata san."

The next morning, after a rather uncomfortable night, for his wife had kicked him out of the bed, which she hogged herself, Sougo found himself cursing the day he had married the China girl. However, it would be false to say that he was not having a little fun too, but the world would be extinct before Sougo admitted to it. Hijikata sat at the breakfast table, covering each item with five layers of mayonnaise, even the coffee.

"Hijikata san, those items are edible. Please do not degrade them by drowning them in that dog food."

"How dare you insult the greatness of mayonnaise?! It can never degrade anything, on the contrast it makes things eatable! By the way, Sougo, where is your wife?"

"Still sleeping like a sloth. Oh, looks like the monster has finally woken up." Kagura came down the stairs, dressed in a simple white cheongsam with red flowers embroidered on it. Her hair was done up as usual and she sent a death glare at Sougo before sitting down at the breakfast table and grabbing everything within her reach. Hijikata and Sougo stared, both amazed and slightly disgusted, as she practically wiped her side of the dining table clean, sending the maids running frantically for more. Drinking his mayo topped coffee, Hijikata commented incredulously," Seriously, are you really a princess or an alien? However can you eat that much in such a short time?"

"Someone who's drinking coffee with mayonnaise doesn't have any right to say that, uh huh. You are so disgusting, Mayo freak. I don't believe that you are really the Vice commander and Knight of Honor of this kingdom too."

Sougo repressed a smirk as China openly insulted Hijikata. Really, he mightn't have made too bad a choice. At least he had got another ally against Hijikata; surely it would be easier to eliminate him now. However, he wanted to see whether the girl could really live up to her far fetched claims of being an excellent fighter. And this was definitely a pretty good opportunity right in front of him.

"Oh dear, Hijikata san, you just got insulted by a mere girl just now, even though the brat is going to become queen. Won't you defend the honor of the Shinsengumi and the mayonnaise you care about so much?"

"What is your point, Sougo? I'm not going to fight a defenseless woman, so don't think you can provoke me."

Kagura suddenly stopped eating, her eyes flashing with anger. "Did I just hear you call me a 'defenseless' woman just now, Mayora? Why don't you fight against me now and see how mistaken you are? Or are you underestimating me because I'm a woman?"

Hijikata stared at her, highly surprised. However, he barely had a chance to react as Sougo got up, smirking. "I'll take that challenge, China. Let's see if you can beat me. It won't be fair if you fight Hijikata, he'll just go easy on you. I, though, have no such restrictions, so are you prepared? Don't tell me you're going to back out now, China."

"You should be more worried about yourself, damned Sadist. I swear I'm going to kick your ass."

A/N: So there ends the first chapter. I am planning to make this fic a little long, with them slowly getting to know each other and lots of adventures too. Thank you very much for reading this story! Please send me suggestions, requests, anything you wish to. I'd really be grateful to you if you review as well, I love to know what you think about it. Constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement are also appreciated! And just as a prior notice, I've got a long month of exams in front of me, so I probably won't be able to update as soon as I want to, but I promise I'll update once in a week! Sorry about making you read this long a/n, see you soon in the next chapter!