Shakespeare's a country/western song

By: Shannon

NOTE: I do not own any rights to Shakespeare and this country/western song sounds kinda corny (and stupid) so bear with me...LOL. In order to understand the song, you have had to have read Hamlet.

Hello, my name is Hamlet (guitar strumming)
And I come from Denmark
I was in school at Wittenburg
But then a message came for me...HARK!
Yo' dad died,
Your mother remarried and so did your dad's brother (Claudius),
With your mother as the BRIDE (Hamlet's mom is named Gertrude)!

Now I wonder what went wrong,
as I come home from Wittenburg.
I walk along our castle walls and find...
...a ghost of my fatherrrrrrrrrrrr (ok so that didn't rhyme but a lot of stuff in here probably won't

My dad's ghost done told me...
that his brother killed him...
And married his wife
And now the future's looking grim!

So my ol' dad told me...
Son, listen here and listen good
Take revenge on yer' uncle and...
GET HIM GOOD! (yeah, that was stupid too).

So I went ahead an' put on a play
To expose my uncle, the creep
And in the middle of the pro-duction,
my uncle made a PEEP! (yeah...that was stupid, I admit it)

My uncle said,
Turn on the lights, I need to see
I hate this story, I hate the play
And get Hamlet away from meeeeee!

(guitar the story is narrated by the singer, not Hamlet)

So Hamlet went up to his momma
And done tole' her what went wrong
And she cried and apologized
And vowed to stay away from that idiot! (sorry...couldn't find anything that rhymes with wrong)

But then Hamlet heard some voices in the curtains
So he went to check it out
And stabbed to death
One of the King's stupid clouts (Polonius)

After the death of Polonius,
Hamlet's girlfriend (Polonius's daughter, Ophelia) got real weird
And then she committed suicide
Before she shaved her beard! (I know Ophelia never had a beard but this sounded interesting)

Now King Claudius knows about Hamlet
So he sends for his friends (Rosencranz and Guildenstern)
They conspire
and they plan to have Hamlet end up DEAD!

So on their way to England,
Hamlet did conspire
To instead have Rosencranz and Guildenstern
Dead in a fire! (They were actually beheaded..but fire rhymed with conspire)

So now Ophelia's bro comes back from France (his name is Laertes)
Vowing revenge against Hamlet
So he and Claudius
Plot a plan to have Hammy DEAD!

So then Laertes and Hammy have a duel
A fight to the death
Unknown to Hammy,
That Laertes is fight with a poisoned-tipped sworddddddd...

Claudius also had a plan...
To poison his nephew
By putting a poisoned pearl
Straight into his microbrewwwwww....(in reality, it was poisoned wine)

But by accident....
Gertrude took a drink
From the poisoned wine...
Then she felt faint and passed awayyyyy...

Now the fighting continued....
It was getting fierce
But then Hammy really got it
And Laertes pierced himm....with the poisoned sword that is...

Now Hamlet comes back
And really gets Laertes
He takes the poisoned sword
And pierces 'im tooo......


Grandma got run over by a reindeer...
Comin' home from our house Christmas Eve....
You can say there's no such thing as Santa...
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe...
(Ooops...wrong song.)

Now Laertes begs forgiveness
As Hamlet takes on Claudius
Who is the idiot
Behind this whole scheme thingy....

Now Hammy's dying
And his buddy wants to die too (his name is Horatio)
But Hamlet insists
That he stay alive and tell his story tooooo.....

Thats the tragedy of Hamlet
I know it's kinda gory...
But what did you expect...
From a tragic STORYYYYYYYYY.....