Okay everyone, so another short chapter. And this is going to be the last chapter of this for awhile. Because on monday I leave for basic training. So I'll be gone for a few months. And then there is AIT, so I'll be gone until...maybe March? I'm not sure. The point is, I won't be writing as much. And I wanted to write more, but its hard to write when I'm busy with my own life.
So hope this will keep you held over for awhile.
Also more secondhand lions references.
Once again another boring day at Jem's Ranch. Team RWBY and JNPR were plotting ways to try and bond with him. Winter was in the same boat as the two teams. Nala was trying to get her new 'Grandpa' to talk to her and play with her. And Jem was looking out on the porch for traveling salesman or hippies to shoot at.
Overall, a pretty standard day.
"So….is this what you do all day?" Nala asked as she couldn't understand why Grandpa Jem did this.
"It's usually peaceful." He said as he saw a large van pulling up.
"And here we go." He pulled his shotgun out ready to shoot at the salesman.
"DON'T SHOOT! DON'T SHOOT!" The woman who was driving jumped out of her van and was hiding behind the car.
"What the?" Jem had to admit that caught him off guard.
"I just want to talk!" She yelled as she was poking her head out.
"If you want to talk, then come out where I can see you!"
"NO way! I know that trick!"
"Wow, a challenge, that's actually quite nice."
"WAIT!" Nala yelled as he looked down.
"Oh come on Nala, don't ruin this for me now." Jem finally could feel good about a traveling salesman, and she was going to kill it for him.
"Why not see what she's got? I mean, if she came out here a second time, then maybe she has something good?" Nala suggested as Jem raised an eyebrow.
"What the hell makes you think she's been out here twice?"
"Well, she seemed to know you were going to shoot at her."
"…..I hate your logic." Jem put his shotgun on his shoulder.
"Fine, I'll see what she's got, and then I'll shoot her."
The two teams and Winter's eyes widened again. Here they were having trouble trying to deal with Jem, and yet Nala was breaking through his armor like there was no tomorrow. The little lion faunus had a talent for it, that was for sure. Course, being cute and practically a human kitten helps.
"Phew, thanks for that little…does….does she have a tail?" The saleswoman pointed out.
"Just tell me what you want." Jem had no patience.
"Oh well, The first time I came here, I ignored all your 'No Trespassing' signs…."
"And you're doing it again right now, so what do you want?" Jem really wanted to get this over with.
"Well, I went out and I found the perfect products for someone with a 'Get off my lawn attitude like yourself." The woman than opened the back of her van.
And for once in his life, Jem was absolutely speechless.
"Bear traps, for anyone who walks, spike traps for anyone who drives, and for those people who just don't listen, and this is a very special piece I had to get from Texas." She pointed to the final product.
"An old M134 Minigun, which could be mounted on your house there for either intruders or recreational shooting." The saleswoman smirked in pride.
Jem was silent for a bit.
"Well, I'll give you this, you came with your guns loaded this time. I'll take the minigun, I already have a ton of bear traps." He said as the saleswoman smirked in victory.
"Jem you already have a gatling gun."
"One that I have to crank, this is a newer model." Jem started to write a check.
"Wait, isn't it illegal to have one of these things in Illinois?"
"Not anymore, just really hard to find."
Okay what the hell had changed in the past sixty years that it was legal to own a minigun?
More imporantly, Coco would love this place.
A few hours later
"HA HA HAH AHA HA AHH HAH AHA!" Jem was laughing as he fired bullet after bullet into his lake.
"Well…he's certainly happy." Winter said as Nala was standing right next to him.
"Look a fish!" Nala pointed as a fish was now flying out of the water.
"….You want a try?" Jem asked as Winter spoke up.
"No! Absolutely not! Nala can't ha-" But Nala was already in the postion, granted she had to get up on a chair. But she was ready.
"So I just pull t-" Suddenly Nala was firing bullets.
"WOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Her arms were vibrating as she felt the power surge through her.
"GEEEEEEEETTTTT SSOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEE!" She found herself yelling as she fired round and round.
"….Your daughter is really enjoying that." Yang pointed out as Winter threw her hands in the air.
"I told him not to do it, and he does it…he's going to turn my daughter into a weapons nut."
"HEY!" Ruby yelled at Ice Queen Sr.
"You know what I meant."
Right now Nala was happier than Donald Trump at a brick laying business.
"Shouldn't we be happy he's actually talking to someone? And that he didn't shoot the saleswoman?" Yang pointed out as for once he didn't shoot anybody.
"I still don't think its healthy for Nala to be around that kind of weaponry at her age." Winter pointed her thumb at Nala.
"HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!" Nala was currently emitting a high pitched laugh like she was Sealy from the Damn few.
"….." Winter was not liking this.
Jem had officially turned her daughter into some gun nut. And he never looked more proud of himself then he did now. Then again, that was the thing. She saw him smiling, and for the first time in a long time. She felt at peace, because it reminded her of the last time she saw him when he was younger. And she did miss those times, and that smile really took her back. It wasn't for long, but it was there.
"Well, we know she's safe with Jem, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her." Nora said reassuring Winter that she was safe.
In truth Winter knew that Nala was safe. But she couldn't help but worry. Ever since she saved the girl during the fall of beacon, she had been a bit overprotective. Don't get her wrong, she was happy to see how easily the two seemed to be bonding. But at the same time, Nala was happier than Rosie O'Donnel at an all you can eat buffet combined with a titty bar.
"COOOOMMMMEEEEE OONNNNN!" Jem was currently flying a drone that had a long rope hanging off of it, as well as a target.
And the target was once again a picture of Joseph Stalin.
"I thought you wanted her to shoot at Hitler?"
"Oh that's next, but Communists suck too, especially Stalin…." Jem looked back and smiled at the little lion girl laughing like a maniac as she shot the red dead.
Only good kind of red was Ronald Reagan Red. MERICA!
"…..Well, that's one thing that hasn't changed." Winter smiled a bit at knowing that no matter how old he got. One thing remained constant.
He really, REALLY hated communists.
And Pumpkin Spice Lattes…
Actually Starbucks in general.
She one time suggested going there when he was driving them back to his house. And he about lost his shit because Starbucks isn't real coffee. Its sugary ice cream shit disguised as coffee. Jem liked his coffee black. Unless of course you had irish cream, but that was only because it had whiskey in it.
Because some days you just got to say fuck it and destroy your liver.
"I LOVE THIS PLACE!" Nala said as she fired all the rounds into the target.
"Good to see someone appreciates it." And…Jem kind of ruined the moment.
Seriously, everytime something started to get good again, he said something that just completely killed the mood.
"Can we get some food?" Nala asked as Jem thought about it.
"Sure." He said as he whistled at everyone.
"Come on, we're going to get something to eat." He said as Winter spoke up.
"What are we having?"
"Whatever the hell I decide." He said as he walked over to his garage.
"But we can't all fit in your truck." Winter pointed out as he pointed inside.
"I have an old van I used back when I used to shuttle kids to MEPS back and forth. It should work for this occasion."
It took a few minutes to get the old shuttle up and running, but the group was soon on their way to a barbecue place.