Alex Four and a Half
HM Blaine Devon James of Virginia, born February 2, 1992
HRH (His Royal Husband ;) ) Kurt Elijah Hummel, born May 27, 1994
HRH The Crown Princess Alexandra Elisabeth Sophia of Virginia, born December 29, 2021
HRH The Prince James Charles Francis of Virginia, born August 3 , 2023
Her Grace The Lady Lilian Grace Marie Hummel of Ohio, born July 15, 2026
Jamie's with her in preschool now because Daddy and Papa have a new baby and 'three kids at home are exhausting' as she's heard her Papa say when Lilly was born. She isn't one hundred percent sure yet what exhausting means because she's asked Hunter who usually takes her and Jamie to school when their daddies are busy and he said, she's exhausting when she asks so many questions. But Marley, who always comes with them when she and Jamie go out together, said it means being tired, like when you're going to sleep at night. Hunter and Marley are nice, but the best days are when Papa comes with them to pick her and Jamie up.
Today though, she's not looking forward to seeing Daddy or Papa because she's sitting outside the headmistress' office so Mrs. Denvers can talk to her daddies about her 'behavior'. But Karen deserved to be pushed because she said that Lilly isn't really Alex' sister and that she shouldn't live in the Palace because she isn't a princess. So she pushed her to the floor and told her that Alex' daddy was the King and he decided who got to live in the Palace. She also told Karen to practice bowing, because she's her future Queen. When Karen said that she was only going to be Queen when the King died, Alex started pulling her hair and told her to take it back, because it's not true. Her Daddy said uncle Cooper was King before him and he isn't dead. But that's how her teacher Mr. Marshall found them, and because Alex was on top of Karen, Mr. Marshall told her she had to go to the headmistress' office and wait there for her parents.
To her surprise, it's Daddy who comes and she waves at Puck and Sam who often play with her and Jamie when Daddy and Papa are busy. Her daddy is frowning though when he looks at her but Alex is quickly distracted by Mrs. Devers coming out of her office and curtseying in front of her Daddy. Now that she thinks about it, she barely ever sees her Daddy outside of the Palace. She's not stupid, she knows he leaves the Palace to go to work in another city, but whenever she goes to school or shopping or to see Barbra at home, it's always Papa who comes with her and never Daddy.
"Your Majesty," the headmistress greets her Daddy, looking surprised as well. "This is a surprise. I thought I told my secretary to call Mr. Hummel."
"They did, but my husband's in a meeting. So you get me today."
Her daddy's smiling brightly at Mrs. Denvers but Alex doesn't understand why.
"And please, Blaine's just fine since I don't think this will be the last time we'll be hearing from you."
Blaine. That's her daddy's name. King Blaine. And one day she will be Queen Alexandra because her parents had her first. That's what she learned in school - that the oldest child of the King will be the new King or Queen. Unless they don't want to like uncle Cooper, but Alex would never stop being Queen so that Jamie or Lilly can be King or Queen.
"I called you here, because Alexandra was caught fighting with a classmate. When her teacher separated the girls, Alexandra was on top of Karen Grey and was pulling her hair."
"Don't tell me Karen Grey is the former prime minister's daughter," her Daddy sighs.
"What's a prime mister?" Alex asks after sitting down in a chair next to Daddy.
"The Prime Minister rules the country with your father. It's a very important job," Mrs. Denvers explains.
"But not so important like King?" Alex asks because she doesn't want Karen to think she's gooder than her.
"Alex," her Daddy says disapprovingly. "We are not better than other people because of our titles."
She rolls her eyes, because Daddy's been telling her this since she found out she's a princess when she was three and started preschool. It's clearly not true, because if being a princess doesn't make you more important than someone who isn't then why isn't every girl a princess and every boy a prince?
"Yes, Karen is Mr. Grey's youngest daughter. She lives with her mother in New York though. My office left Mrs. Grey a voicemail about the incident."
"Of course," Daddy nods. "We'll invite her and Karen over as soon as possible so Alexandra can apologize. We do not condone violence in our family and I thought Alexandra understood that, but clearly we'll have to have another talk with her."
"I won't apologize," Alex protests. "She deserved it."
"Why do you think it was okay to push Karen and pull her hair?" Mrs. Denvers asks.
"Because she said Lilly's not my real sister. She said Lilly's not a princess and that means she shouldn't be allowed to live with us because a Palace is only for princes and princesses. Which isn't true because Papa isn't a prince and he lives with us in the Palace."
"I'll have a talk with Mrs. Grey about it," Mrs. Denvers tells her daddy before she turns her attention back on Alex.
"It wasn't nice of Karen to say those things but what should you have done instead of pushing her?"
Alex crosses her arms in front of her chest. She knows she's supposed to get a teacher if someone is being mean to her or Jamie or hurts them but she got so mad, because no one but her and Jamie is allowed to call the baby stupid. Because sometimes she doesn't like the new baby either because now all Daddy and Papa talk about is Lilly this and Lilly that. Even grandma spent more time holding the baby then playing dolls with her when she stayed with them. But it's her family. No one else is allowed to say mean things about her family.
"You're not s'possed to say mean things," she reminds the headmistress and Daddy.
"You're also not supposed to hit," Daddy shakes his head disapprovingly. "Which we'll talk about when we get home. Go and get you backpack."
While she runs down the hall to get her bag, followed by Hunter who is always with her unless she's in a classroom, Daddy stays with Mrs. Denvers probably to talk about grown up things. When she gets back to the headmistress' office and sees that Jamie isn't there, her mood brightens immediately though because she rarely gets Daddy all to herself now that she has a little brother and a little sister. Daddy's probably going to lecture her, but that's okay if she gets to spend some time with just him.
Ryder and Jake, Daddy's other guards, are waiting in front of the school, but they get in a car parked behind Daddy's car and Alex lets Daddy buckle her into her car seat while Sam sits down next to a man Daddy introduces as Liam, so they are alone in the back.
"Are you very angry with me?" she asks Daddy when Sam puts up a glass wall between the front and the back seat. "Because I know I'm not s'pposed to hit but she deserved it."
"Honeybee," Daddy sighs." I want you to grow up like a normal little girl but there are some things a princess can't do. You can't tell everyone you're a princess but then not act like one. Because I'm your Dad, a lot of people are very interested in what you do. Like the people who take pictures of you and Papa when you go out together. They take pictures hoping to catch you doing something naughty."
"Why?" Alex frowns. She thought they took pictures because the camera people liked her and Papa.
"Because some people are mean and want to look at pictures of you behaving badly so they can say bad things about me and your Papa."
"I don't understand. Why do people say bad things about you?"
"Some people don't like that the future Queen has two daddies. They say you won't be a good Queen because Papa and I are your parents."
Her eyes widen in shock because she didn't know people are this mean.
"I want you to be yourself and grow up as normally as possible," Daddy continues, "but there are things, you shouldn't do where other people can see you, like hitting or using bad words. Not that I ever want you to do that, but you can't hit kids in school or be mean to them, okay? Even if you get mad, you can't yell or push."
"Okay," she nods because she's doesn't want people to say she's a bad princess.
She likes being a princess because she gets to live in a palace, she has all those pretty dresses and Daddy told her she'll get to wear a crown next year when Daddy's celebrating ten years of being King.
"And you need to apologize. It wasn't nice what Karen said to you but you shouldn't have pushed her. Papa and I will invite Karen and her mother over so you can apologize. Play with her and show her that we're a normal family."
Everyone keeps saying that Karen said something bad but not that she was lying. Does that mean Karen was telling the truth?
"Is Lilly really not a princess? Karen said she's not."
Daddy sighs. Papa looked like that when she asked why Lilly was in that woman's tummy.
"Her title isn't princess because there are rules that say only certain people can be princesses."
"But she's my sister," Alex frowns. "And I'm a princess. How can she be my sister and not a princess?"
"Well, uncle Cooper is Lucy and Billy's dad, right?" Alex nods, because d'uh, of course he is.
"But you know he wasn't their dad when they were your age. They had a different dad."
"Yes, but he's their daddy because they live together and he teaches them things and loves them," she tells Daddy.
"Exactly. And it's the same with Lilly. Because only one man and one woman can make a baby, I made you and Jamie and Papa made Lilly. But we all live together and we love each other and that's why we are a family. Jamie and Lilly are your brother and sister and Papa and I are your fathers," Daddy explains and she mulls it over.
"So Lilly's not my sister like Jamie is my brother, but she's my sister because she lives with me and I'll get to teach her things when she's bigger and I love her when she's not crying?"
Daddy laughs before he nods.
"And Papa's not my daddy like you are my daddy, but he's my daddy because he loves me and because you are married?"
Again Daddy nods.
"Okay," Alex says. "So I was right and Karen wrong. Lilly is my real sister."
"Yes," Daddy says. "But you still gotta apologize."
"Fine," she agrees because she doesn't want to spend the time she has with daddy talking about stupid Karen.
"People are going to say we're too lenient with the kids," Papa tells Daddy when he joins them a few hours later down by the stables where Daddy's been teaching her how to ride a horse.
She got her own pony for her last birthday which she named Dottie because of all the dots in its coat and Daddy says she's a great rider for her age.
"She's four. What do they want us to do - ground her? Alex and I talked about it and she's going to apologize to Karen, right Honeybee."
Alex looks up at her daddies and nods quickly before going back to playing peekaboo with Lilly who's awake in her stroller and fortunately not crying for once.
"Mrs. Denvers also said she'll talk to the girl's mom about what she said, but I doubt this will be news to her. She probably got it from her mom," Daddy continues, but what he's saying doesn't make much sense to her. Did Karen's mom make her sick?
Her daddies keep talking like she and Lilly aren't even there, so she decides to just keep listening, because sometimes she finds out really interesting things when they think she isn't listening. That's how she found out she was getting a new brother or sister because Daddy told Papa their surgate was pregnant thinking she wasn't listening while she was playing dolls in the living room, but she'd heard the word before when one of the horses was having a baby horse.
"Sounds more like her dad," Papa frowns. "He never liked you and he wrote that column in which he said it was wrong of Tina to support the change of the title law because there's a reason only a few people in the country have titles. Which is absolute BS if you ask me because there are 1000s of royals in this country with weird titles that are pretty much worthless and he's not advocating stripping them of their titles either."
"Give it a few more years and I'll make his head explode by knighting you for your achievements in the entertainment industry," Daddy winks at Papa before giving him a kiss and she makes a face because what is it with people and kissing? Every time she meets one of her many aunts and uncles they all want kisses from her and Jamie.
"Sir Kurt Hummel," Papa grins. "I like it."
"What's a hummel?" Alex looks up with a frown, Lilly forgotten for a moment. The headmistress had said it too, but Alex didn't understand what it means.
"It's part of my name, Honeybee," Papa moves the stroller and sits down on the blanket next to her. "Your name is Alexandra of Virginia and my name is Kurt Hummel. Like your teacher is called Mr. Justin Marshall."
'Because you are not a prince?" Alex asks. "That's why we don't have the same name?"
"Yes," Papa says as he unties the ribbons holding her pony tails together and redoes her hair. "Everyone who is not a prince or a princess or king has a first name like Alexandra or Jamie and a family name like Hummel or Anderson. And every prince and princess has a royal name like of Virginia," Papa explains.
"So I have Daddy's name because he made me and Jamie, and Lilly has your name because you made her?" she asks remembering what Daddy told her in the car.
"Blaine," Papa frowns at her Daddy. "What have you been telling her?"
After making sure that her brother hasn't woken from his nap yet, Daddy sits down next to her and Papa too.
"Alex wanted to know why Lilly's not a princess. So I explained how biologically you're Lilly's dad and I'm Alex and Jamie's dad but we're are a family because we all love each other so it doesn't matter who made who."
"Okay." Quietly, but not quietly enough because she has super hearing, Papa says, " isn't she a little young for all that."
"I'm not a baby. I'm going to be five soon," Alex protests and holds up her hand to show them how many fingers that is. "You can tell me things but not Jamie and Lilly, they're just babies."
Alex huffs indignantly and crosses her arms over her chest when both Daddy and Papa start to laugh because she's right, Jamie and Lilly are just babies. They both take naps in the afternoon and Jamie can't spell his name but Alex can. She can also count, play the piano and ride a horse and all Jamie can do is build stupid towers with his blocks or kick hers over because Alex' towers are always taller.
"I gotta get back to work," her Daddy sighs after he stops laughing. "I was on my way here from the airport when the Palace told me about the call and I still have to read through the papers Tina sent over before the vote next week. But I can take Lilly if you like?"
Papa nods and Alex watches as Daddy puts Lilly in that sling thingy her daddies use to carry her sister around and pouts. She's hoped they could spend the rest of the day together.
Daddy walks back into the palace after dropping a kiss on her cheek, but Papa sits back down next to her.
"I really don't want to apologize," she confesses, her eyes trained on the ground. "She was really mean to me."
"I know Honeybee," Papa lets her crawl into his lap and snuggle against him, "but sometimes we have to do things we don't really like. Like when doctor Fabray had to give you your shots so you won't get sick.
"Okay," she sighs because clearly she's not getting out of it.
Karen's mommy looks nice, Alex decides when Karen comes over the next afternoon. She's out in the garden with Papa when they are announced and Alex watches in confusion as Karen's mommy bows to Papa.
"I'm so sorry, your highness," Karen's mommy says and pushes Karen in front of her who's not looking at Alex but at her shoes.
They're nice shoes, Alex thinks, with black polka dots and white ribbons.
"Oh, I," Papa stutters. "I'm not, I mean, please call me Kurt. I'm sorry my husband can't join us but he's promised our son a while ago to take him to the zoo."
"That's fine. I'm nervous enough just being at the Palace," Karen's mommy says. "My ex never took me with him when he came here to meet with the King," she adds with a frown. "Which brings me to Karen. I'm really sorry about what she said to your daughter. She spent the weekend with her father and if that's what he's teaching her I'm not sure I'll let him spend time with her in the future. I really thought I raised her better than that."
"I know the feeling," Papa says. " The King and I weren't happy to hear about the pushing and hair-pulling either since we teach our kids that violence is never okay."
Karen's mommy's eyes widen and she nods quickly. "Yes, of course you would."
Alex wonders what that's all about but then Karen pushes away from her mommy and comes over to where Alex is standing.
"I'm sorry I said bad things about your family," she says and Alex looks at her in surprise because her daddies never said that Karen would apologize too. "I told my daddy that I go to school with a real princess and he said that your family is not normal and that I can't be friends with you."
"You want to be my friend?" Alex asks, eyes wide. She's a princess so of course everyone at school likes her, but Barbra is her only good friend and they don't go to school together. It would be nice to have a friend at school.
"You can't say bad things about my sister," she reminds Karen because obviously she can't be friends with people who are mean to her siblings.
"Okay," Karen holds out her hand for Alex to shake and Alex takes it.
"Then I'm sorry for pushing you and pulling your hair. That wasn't nice either."
"See that wasn't so hard, was it," Papa smiles at her and Karen's mommy is smiling too. "Do you want to show Karen to the playroom while I give her mom a tour if she likes?"
Alex nods enthusiastically and pulls Karen through the open door into the Palace. She stops though when Papa tells her she has to wait for Hunter.
"That's my guard," she tells Karen.
"You have a guard at home?" Karen asks with wide eyes and Alex nods.
"Yes, because there are always people coming here to look at the Palace and Papa and Daddy are afraid someone will take me away from them if no one watches me."
"Wow," Karen says looking around with curious eyes.
Alex likes having her as a friend already because she's never had a friend who hasn't been to the Palace before. When Hunter steps through the door, she grabs Karen's hand again and pulls her through the open door certain that Hunter will follow them.
"It's so big," Karen exclaims when they arrive on the third floor where the playroom is. "I would get lost."
"Not really," Alex frowns. "I'm not allowed to go the rest of the Palace because people can visit it, and this part isn't so big. And I'm not allowed to go anywhere on my own so I can't get lost."
"We only have three rooms," Karen admits, "but it's just my mommy and me."
"What's it like to have a mommy?" Alex asks quietly after pulling Karen down next to her in front of her dollhouse, which she got for her third birthday and looks just like the palace.
"I don't know. She plays with me, takes me to the playground, tells me stories and buys me nice dresses. When I'm sad she makes me hot cocoa and lets me sleep in her bed with her. What's it like having two daddies?"
"It's really nice. Papa is an actor so he always sings me nice songs when I go to sleep, and Daddy tells the best stories. Papa takes me and Jamie to school a lot and sometimes we go shopping after school and if I behave I get a new dress. Papa is better with doing my hair than Daddy but Daddy gives gooder piggyback rides. And every Sunday after church we go to the stables and Daddy teaches Jamie and me how to ride horses. I even have my own pony. She's called Dottie and she's really nice. Maybe next time I can show you. We also have two dogs and two cats. When I was a baby, one of the cats scratched me because I kept pulling its tail but I don't do that anymore and now I like the cats gooder than the dogs because they don't try to lick your face all the time. Do you want to meet them?"
Karen nods enthusiastically and Alex takes her hand again and pulls her through the hallway, ignoring Hunter's 'where are you going?' She takes Karen to her Daddies' room first because that's where Coco and McQueen usually sleep even though Papa always complains about it.
"Aww," Karen says when Alex picks up Coco from where she's sleeping on her Daddies' bed and hands her to her new friend before picking up McQueen.
"Too bad they are not babies anymore. Papa showed me pictures and they were much cuter when they were babies," Alex informs Karen.
"Why don't you take the cats and show Karen your room," Hunter says from the doorway. "You know you are not supposed to be in here without asking your fathers first."
She rolls her eyes at Hunter because her daddies said she can always come to them and she isn't in their room on her own because Hunter is here too and he's a grown up. Still, she obeys and pulls Karen down the hallway to her bedroom.
"This is my room and my brother Jamie's room is on the other side from me. Lilly sleeps with my parents because she's a baby and she cries a lot at night, but when she's bigger, she will get the room next to mine. Do you have brothers or sisters?" None of her friends do and she wants a friend who knows what it's like to be a sister.
"I have a brother but his mommy isn't my mommy. He's ten and lives in Washington where my daddy lives. I always see him when I go to see my daddy but he doesn't like playing with me because he says I'm a baby."
"I don't like your brother," Alex degrees. "You're not a baby. Jamie and Lilly are babies."
"Can I see your sister?" Karen asks and Alex is happy Karen's calling Lilly her sister now.
"She went to the zoo with my daddy and Jamie. I wasn't allowed to go because I was mean to you."
"I like the zoo. Maybe we can go together?" Karen asks and Alex decides that the best answer is a hug.
Papa and Karen's mom find them like this and they are both smiling when she lets go of her new friend.
"Papa, can Karen come to the zoo with us next time we go?"
"If it's okay with Karen's mom," Papa looks at Karen's mom who nods.
"But we have to go now, Karen."
Karen and Alex both pout but then Papa says that Karen can come over any time to play with Alex which is the goodest news. She doesn't even care about the zoo anymore now that she has a new friend.
"Kurt, you've already had the 24 hour flu once this month, you have to come with us," Daddy says to Papa, crooking two fingers in the air when he says the flu thing.
She's already dressed in one of her dresses for Church, her hair tied back with ribbons and covered by a small hat on top of her head. The only one not dressed yet is Papa, who's coughing a lot but not like she did when she was super sick last winter.
"Fine," Papa groans and takes off his bathrobe that he is wearing over her suit.
She doesn't know why Papa doesn't like coming to Church with them, but she knows he doesn't because every Sunday morning he says he's sick and when they come back from church he's all better and she heard Daddy saying to Papa that he's just pretending to be sick.
"I've been going to church for six years," Papa whines. "How much longer do I have to go?"
"Until some in the church thinks it's okay that my husband doesn't go to church. Seeing as you're in your mid-thirties now, I'd say another forty years," Daddy winks at Papa who lightly punches Daddy's shoulder.
"No hitting," Alex reminds them and Daddy grins at Papa and says, "you heard the princess, to hitting the King."
And then they are kissing again and Alex covers her eyes.
Because her daddies are weird. But she's still sure she has the goodest daddies in the world.
In the next installment, an older Alex discovers how her parents met when she borrows Karen's phone to look them up online. Let's just say that 'Dad, what's a one night stand?' is not the sort of question, Blaine ever wanted to hear from his eleven year old daughter.