This takes place early on, Season Three-ish.


Chandler walked out of the bathroom, did a double-take, and clutched the towel around his waist protectively.

"I'm so glad you all could be here to share this... half naked moment," he drawled. "What the hell are you guys all doing here?" He paused. "Staring at me creepily?"

"Wow, so *that's* your third nipple," Rachel said happily, mouth full of popcorn. "Interesting."

Chandler groaned and stomped into his bedroom, slamming the door. "Look, you've seen the nipple, woo-hoo, will you all just go next door please?"

"Why's that, Chandler?" Ross grinned. "Afraid we'll find out about your... top-secret date tonight?"

Chandler cracked his bedroom door and glared at Joey, who looked innocently off in the distance.

"That's right!" Monica crowed. "We *know*. It's payback time, buddy."

"You've mocked every date we've ever been on," Phoebe added. "And now..."

"We've got front-row seats for yours," Rachel added with a smirk, putting her feet up on the coffeetable and throwing another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"You guys need lives," Chandler muttered from behind the door. "Seriously."

"Oh come *on*, Chandler," Ross said. "You finally have a date... and you didn't even mention it? Gotta be hiding something."

"I bet she's fourteen," Phoebe gushed.

"I bet she's *forty*," Rachel added.

"I'm still bettin' it's Janice," Joey said.

"Maybe it's another one of your sisters," Monica grinned, poking Joey in the ribs.

"Dude!" Joey cried indignantly.

Chandler's door cracked again. "Look, you guys. My date is neither fourteen, nor forty, nor Janice, nor related to Joey. Now will you people get the hell out of the apartment?"

"Fat, definitely fat. Like huge," Phoebe decided.

"Bald?" Monica speculated. "Partially bald?"

Chandler emerged, buttoning his shirt. "I will give you all fifty bucks each to not be here in five seconds."

"Oh my god, we're so stayin'," Joey cried in excitement.

A knock at the door caused Chandler to jump in horror.

"Oh yay!" Phoebe cried, bouncing up and down on the couch.

"Okay, okay," Chandler said nervously, bouncing up and down. "I'm gonna answer that door, but, this is a really, really long story, and it's to prove a point, okay, and you guys have to promise to be quiet until we leave."

"That's cool," Phoebe said. "We usually wait until then to talk about you anyway."

"So we're agreed on the quiet?" Chandler demanded.

The other five obediently made zipping-lips motions.

Chandler strode to the door, taking a last, nervous look over his shoulder at his friends, and swung the door open.

"Hey, Brian," Chandler said, shooting warning glances at the group sitting stunned on the couch.

"Hey, you," Brian murmured, handing Chandler a bouquet of flowers. "I got you these."

"Thanks," Chandler said awkwardly, accepting the flowers. "Um, Brian, these are my friends. Guys, this is Brian Stephens. He works at my company, he's in Payroll."

"Nice to meet you guys," Brian smiled, giving them a little wave.

"Well, we're gonna miss the party if we don't take off," Chandler said, pushing Brian gently out the door and slamming it after them.

The other five sat in stunned silence for a moment.

"Oh my god," Rachel finally gasped.

"Dude," Joey added.

"I'm... I'm stunned," Ross said flatly.

"I know!" Phoebe screeched. "How hot is that guy??"