The Silmarillion For Idiots


Disclaimer: ...*sigh* I don't own LOTR...yet...

Note: This is a very (and I mean, VERY) condensed version of the Silmarillion and in writing this, I am in no way disrespecting the great J.R.R. Tolkien...hopefully. *hides as people bring out the tomatoes*

I have changed the title as "The Silmarillion for Dummies" belongs to Andtauriel Longwood Baggins. Very sorry!



The Music of the Ainur


There is the One (aka the god of all gods). Called Eru. Also called Ilúvatar.

Ilúvatar make Ainur (also gods..but smaller gods).

Ilúvatar decide Ainur will make pretty music.

Ainur makes pretty music.

Melkor (a smaller god) very smart but very bad (evil-wise).

Melkor make icky music.

Pretty music no go well with icky music.

Ilúvatar wave hand and make new music.

Melkor make more icky music.

Ilúvatar not very happy.

Ilúvatar mad.

Ainur scared.

Melkor secretly angry.

Ilúvatar show Ainur World (aka Arda) they make out of music. Ainur see Elves and Men (aka Children of Ilúvatar).

Ainur go "Oooooo".

Elves much like water.

Ulmo (another smaller god) gets to rule water stuff.

Manwë (yet another smaller god) gets to rule air and windy stuff.

Aulë (and yet another smaller god) gets to rule earthy stuff.

Ainur see Darkness.

Ainur anxious.

Ilúvatar says, "Let things be!"

Ainur say "Ok".

Ainur gets new name: Valar, the Powers of the World.

Ainur happy.

Then Melkor say, "I want to rule the World!"

Valar not so happy.

Valar and Melkor whack each other a few times.

Valar make stuff.

Melkor destroy the stuff.

Valar not happy.

Elves have no clue what's going on.


Well, I hope I did some accurate condensing. :o) Short because I'm doing this chapter by chapter. Let me know if you want more. *points subtlely at review button*