Hey, everyone! Mystery Critic here, back at you with another rewrite for a chapter of Ma Fleur, Ma Ange, Ma Tout. This will be the second rewrite, and I will be going through all 35 chapters to rewrite some things, make things a little smoother, and change everything to past tense. If you are reading this story for the first time, welcome, and I hope you enjoy it. If you are coming back, bear with me on the rewrites, and I will be going through all of the old chapters and fixing grammar mistakes as best as I can! As for the disclaimer, I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the rights affiliated with it. That belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anywho, now that we've got all that out of the way, sit back, relax, and enjoy the first rewritten chapter of Ma Fleur, Ma Ange, Ma Tout!

Updated 7/8/2023

Chapter 1

Harry sat on the couch, his parents on either side of him. His father was reading the latest Daily Prophet and drinking his evening tea while his mother was reading a book on charms. Harry sighed in contentment before turning his attention back to his copy of Quidditch Throughout the Ages. Suddenly, they heard a banging at the door…

Harry shot awake as the banging on his bedroom door intruded on his dreams, Vernon's voice booming through the thin wood.

"Wake up, boy!" He yelled, continuing to pound on the door. "If you don't get up now, we won't be able to beat the bloody traffic!"

"I'm up!" The teenage wizard snapped back, sitting up and rubbing his temples. "I'm getting dressed now."

"Alright, hurry up then!" With that, the loud, thumping footsteps of his "uncle" receded from the front of the door to his small bedroom. Harry sighed in frustration and ran his hands through his raven black hair. He'd been dreading this trip to France for the last two weeks, and the harrowing day finally showed its ugly face. He'd never had the best time on vacations, the majority of them consisting of coming back to this awful place and suffering the abuse of his so-called family.

Harry stood up and stretched, groaning as his muscles adjusted to being awake once more. He removed the raggedy hand-me-downs he wore to bed and changed into the closest thing he had to a pair of clothes that fit him. He threw a few last minute things into his trunk and went downstairs, his trunk thudding on each step. Stopping in the foyer, the young wizard waited for the rest of the Dursley's to finish getting ready. After a few moments, the Dursley's walked in, an air of undeserved superiority around them. Petunia scoffed, obviously appalled by Harry's lack of proper clothes. Dudley puffed out his bulbous chest, proud of his fancy cardigan, vest, and corduroy slacks. Vernon stared down at his trunk, his face turning red and seeming to inflate as he pointed at it.

"Why are you bringing that thing?" he spat out, his face resembling a steamed beet. "I thought you weren't going back until September!"

"I told you already," Harry said, sighing in frustration as he glowered at Vernon, his emerald eyes piercing through him as he snapped back. "After we get back from France, I'm going to the Burrow for the rest of the summer, remember? You won't have to deal with me once the trip is over."

Vernon opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it and whacked Harry hard across the face, causing him to fall to the ground with a groan of pain. Harry quickly stood back up to avoid being kicked before wiping away the tears that sprung to his face; "Watch your tone boy" Vernon warned, then motioned for them all to leave. Petunia, Vernon, and Dudley put their suitcases next to the car, while Harry remained inside and looked down at his suitcase.

He waved his hand over it slowly, concentrating hard as he focused his magical energy through his hand. After a few tries, the suitcase jumped up from the ground, shrank down to the size of a small lighter, and he slipped it into his pocket, mentally thanking Lupin for giving him tips on how to avoid the trace. Without performing an actual spell, and focusing completely on intent, he was able to circumvent the trace. He might try his best to behave most of the time, but he would never stop being a Marauder. Harry walked outside and Vernon called out to him.

"Boy!" He snapped, "Put the bags in the boot," Walking past the rotund man, Harry loaded the bags into the back of the car before shutting the door. He slid into the car behind Vernon, his legs uncomfortably folded to make room for Vernon's girth. He even had the car modified but his size was still too much for the stylish four-door. The car roared to life before pulling away from Number 4 Privet Drive.

After several hours of driving, Petunia's squeaky voice chimed in, pointing out the window.

"Oh look, Diddykins!" She squealed, pointing at the sign coming up. "We're coming up to the ferry now!"

Dudley looked out the window, a bewildered look on his face as he stared at the ferry. Harry rolled his eyes, not understanding how Dudley could be so interested in a stupid boat. After a few minutes of slowly driving down to the beach, the sand spitting out behind the tires as he tried driving on the sand, Vernon steered the car down the pier up to the ticket booth and rolled down the window.

"Yes, hello. May I have four tickets, please?" He asked, his best smile on his face as he spoke to the saleswoman. She turned around to look at him, darting her brown eyes up and down quickly, assessing him as she blew a bubble with her gum. As the bubble popped, she scoffed and rolled her eyes with a nod, eliciting a chuckle from Harry. Vernon handed over the money to the girl and she passed back four tickets. He nodded a little and pulled away from the booth. The car pulled up onto the ferry and Vernon cut the engine with a sigh as he looked towards Petunia and Dudley.

"Are we ready for a great family vacation?" He said boisterously, smiling at them. After they both clap and smile at him, he turned to Harry. "I hope you're going to behave, boy. I don't want to have to regret bringing you along. Understood?"

Harry nodded stiffly, opening the door and getting out of the car to stretch his legs after the long drive through the English countryside. He moved up to Vernon's window and knocked. Opening the door, Vernon got out and glowered at him.

"Yes, boy?" He said, clearly annoyed.

"I'm just going to wander around. Maybe go to the front and watch the water." Vernon opened his mouth to protest, but Harry cut him off.

"Don't worry, I won't get into any trouble, I won't speak to anyone unless spoken to first, and I'll mind my own business. I won't do anything to embarrass you, I promise."

"I, well..." Vernon nodded once, and motioned for him to go. "Off with you, then."

"Thank you," Harry said, turning on his heel and walking off towards the bow of the boat. Not turning back as he started to smile, happy that he was going to have at least an hour and a half of peace before they arrived in France. Harry walked for a few minutes until he came across a couple of boys surrounding a beautiful young woman, drooling over her like they were staring at Aphrodite. He could understand why, as she was incredibly gorgeous, almost perfect. Her silvery blonde hair flowed down to her waist, shining in the sun as she flipped it, trying her best to ignore the boys.

She looked at Harry and their eyes met, sapphire eyes clashing with his emerald. A blush began to creep across his cheeks before he turned his face away and kept walking past her. He continued on until he reached the bow railing and leaned against it, staring out at the water as it parts around the hull. Harry looked to the side as the beautiful young woman from before leaned back against the railing next to him, staring at him for a moment before saying something to him in French.

"I'm sorry, but I don't speak French," Harry said, remembering his promise to Vernon about not speaking to people. He turned around to walk away but was stopped by a beautiful sound

"Forgive me." She said, her voice an ethereal sound that sent shivers throughout his body and kept his feet rooted to the ground. "I was 'oping to find someone 'ho could speak French, but so far everyone 'as just ogled at me. Anyway, my name is Fleur Delacour. May I ask your name?"

"Well, I see no problem with that." He responded, turning around and taking her extended hand gently. Now that he couldn't leave on the polite premise of not speaking French it would be rude to leave and rudeness would be embarrassing, thought Harry. "I'm Harry. Harry Potter. It's nice to meet you."

Fleur nodded and said; "Arry Potter? That's a nice name." As she smiled, the wind off the channel's water blew Harry's and Fleur's hair around, revealing Harry's scar. Fleur stared in shock for a moment, and before Harry could ask if she was alright she suddenly withdrew a wand and waved it around them, a slightly opaque bubble forming around them. When she looked back down, Harry had his wand out and pointed at her, the tip glowing red.

"Wait, I'm a witch! I don't want to harm you. I just put up a privacy ward." Fleur explained quickly as she stared down his wand.

"Wait, you know me?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow at the gorgeous young woman. As he looked around people were just avoiding them, even Dudley, who was no more than 10 feet away. Counting his blessings, he turned back to Fleur. "So you're a witch?"

"But of course!" She exclaimed proudly, flipping her hair behind her back. "One of the best in my year at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic here in France. What about you? Do you go to 'Ogwarts?"

"Yeah, I do," Harry said with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "So, what are you doing here? Why aren't you in France?"

"Ah, well…" She hesitated, looking away in embarrassment. "That would be a bit of a personal question, I'm afraid."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said, putting his hands up defensively. "I didn't mean to intrude. I can leave if you want me to."

"Non, it's fine." She waved him off, looking up and smiling a little. "I could use the company. That is, if you don't mind."

"I wouldn't mind at all..." He muttered, another blush creeping up on his face.

"You are quite, comment tu dis*… Adorable, I believe, the word is?" She teased with a gentle tap of her finger against the tip of his nose. "Oui, you are adorable when you blush, Monsieur 'Arry Potter."

"Just Harry, if it's okay." He chuckled, shaking the blush off and smiling up at her.

"'Arry it is." She said, smiling brilliantly. Harry looked into her eyes as she smiled, his mind going out the window as all he could see was her bright sapphire eyes. As he stared, an unfamiliar feeling washes over, like everything he knew no longer existed, while everything that ever would be was there in her eyes. As he fell deep into the spell of her eyes, he didn't hear her calling to him, or the water, or the honking of the boats' horn. "Arry, are you alright?"

"Huh?" He said, snapping back into reality, the feeling disappearing as he shakes off what just happened. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just zoning out for a second."

'Well, then.' Fleur thought, staring at him up and down with an appreciative look. "It's not often someone just zones out around me, Monsieur Potter." Fleur smiled as Harry's blush renewed.


Over the next hour and a half, Fleur and Harry talked about their home and school lives. While speaking animatedly about his passion for magic, he noticed Fleur staring at him, listening intently and nodding. Harry noticed and blushed, looking away. After a few moments of silence, Harry asked the first thing that popped into his head, desperate to end the awkward quiet.

"So, the blokes really like you, don't they?"

"Well, of course, they do." She says, getting a raised eyebrow from Harry. "I am a Veela, after all."

"What's a Veela?" He asked, cocking his head to the side a little. "Is that some kind of French Ministry position, or something?"

Fleur broke out in laughter, a wondrous sound that filled the air, more beautiful than the peals of bells in the countryside.

"Non, silly boy." She giggled, wiping away a tear that had formed on her cheek from the laughter. "A Veela is a magical creature. We are always beautiful women 'ho 'ave an allure on almost all men, and some women, as well. 'Owever, if you make us angry, you will regret it."

"What happens if one of you gets angry?" He asked. Fleur leaned closer, her face mere inches from his, her sapphire eyes darkened and her voice lowered to a sultry tone. Harry gulped and glanced back and forth, unsure of what was happening.

"Maybe one day you can see for yourself, mon cher.**" She purred. She raised an eyebrow in surprise when all he did was blush while her allure was focused directly on him. "Very interesting..."

"W...What is?" He stuttered, looking up with a bright blush still on his face.

"Well, the fact that you are still standing, for one." She smiled when a confused look appeared on his face. "Ze allure I just told you about is focused right at you, and that would drop most full-grown men to their knees, to say nothing of 'ormonal teenagers. The fact that you are unaffected by it is very interesting."

"Why's that?" He asked, his intrigue growing as he looked at her inquisitively.

"It might mean something or nothing at all," Fleur answered mysteriously, looking him up and down. "It might mean my magic 'as chosen to bond to you, or you are in love with someone else."

"But… Why would it be someone like me?" He asked hesitantly, his previous composure falling for just a moment, but it was long enough for Fleur to see the sadness and fear hidden behind the mask. Fleur saw through it for a moment before the mask was back in place.

"What do you mean, 'Arry?" She asked, looking into his eyes in confusion. Harry opened his mouth to answer before a voice called out from several yards away.

"Boy!" Vernon yelled from out of sight. "We're almost there. Get over here and get in the car!"

"I've got to go…" Harry sighed. A cold and emotionless mask appeared on his face before he turned around to walk back. Fleur gasped slightly as the mask appeared, snuffing all semblance of joy from his eyes. "It was one of the biggest pleasures of my life to talk to you. This is goodbye, I guess."

"Non, wait!" She said urgently, grabbing his wrist and spinning him around. She pulled out a small piece of paper and a pen from her satchel before writing something down on the paper and folding it, then placing it in his hand. "I want to talk to you again, 'Arry. This is my address 'ere in France. Send me a letter whenever you can, oui?"

"Oui." He said, a slight smile back on his face before it was gone again and replaced with that same cold face when Vernon called out again.

"I said get over here, boy! NOW!" Harry sighed, turned back around, and walked back towards the source of the horrible voice.

'The Boy 'Ho Lived…' Fleur thought, watching him walk back. 'But why is he so sad? I must tell maman about him. Maybe she can cast light on this. But perhaps a trip to a friend. Harry was her destined after all, and a gift was in order.'

Well, everyone. That's the rewrite to chapter one with grammar and spelling mistakes fixed. I hope you all enjoyed it. I hope you all enjoy the rewrites, and I will see you all next chapter. This is Mystery Critic, signing off.