***This is a repost. It is no more edited than it was the first time it went up***

Humans are a funny fucking race. They pride themselves on being the dominate life force on the planet. They fear what they do not understand, and they understand very little about their own world. And those that do think outside the box are thought insane, when in truth, they are the most sane in existence. They are aware that they are not alone. I am not referring to little green men and the like. No, I am talking about the real threats, the real dangers, and the ones that are already on the planet. No one is saying that E.T. is not real, but uh, he's not here. (Insert evil chuckle)

What humans fail to realize is they were not even the first to stake a claim. My kind and our counterparts were here for eons before they were even a twinkle in the Big Man's eyes. This planet was destroyed and rebuilt countless times before they were even a thought. All of us, even the angels, though to a lesser degree, laugh at them constantly. We know the truth, but it is still a fun fucking time to hear of our origin from their point of view. I must say, my father's story has to be by far my favorite. But we will get into that a bit later. But for now why don't I introduce myself. If you're going to be following me around like a fucking puppy, might as well get the pleasantries out of the way.

My name is Jasper. I am the prince of what humans call Hell and the most powerful demon that the world has ever seen. Yes, that does include my father, Lucifer. I bet you wanna know how that is possible, huh? Well, a lot of ways really, but the biggest was I integrated myself into the human's civil war, on the confederate side of course. Then I trained with vampires for well over a century. And during that time I got to know how they work, but I gotta say, not my father's best idea. From there I left with two vampires I made myself during my time there. Peter and Charlotte are two of the funniest fuckers I have ever met. You'll meet them later, but please allow me to finish my tale. It is an overview, but I see no real need to get into real detail. Not that interesting, believe me.

So after I left with them, we traveled together for a few decades, but even though I liked them and all and we got along alright, a demon and vampires can only live together for so long, plus I was only putting off going home. I didn't want to yet, so I continued to wander around the surface world, mapping out the land and getting a kick out of the humans. It was the early 1900s at the time and the stories and myths about the night walkers and other demonic creatures were out in full swing. Little did the little towns' people know it was a true demon they were sharing those stories with. I got a good laugh out of it.

I was in Philly when a newborn vampire came up to me spouting all this bullshit about how I kept her waiting for such a long time. On the outside I kept a blank face, but on the inside I was rolling my eyes. She kept going on about how she wanted to help me find my place and show me a new way of life full of love and happiness. Yeah, okay, cuz that's what I was looking for. But I decided to go with her, not for the life she promised, no, not at all. But she looked like a good fuck. Turns out, I was really wrong on that point. It was like fucking a log, or as you humans say, a fucking ragdoll. But I must digress, getting off point, my most humble apologies.

When we reached where we were going, it was a coven of fucking veggie vamps. What the fuck is that shit? They were created to kill and destroy the human race. Well, more like thin them out. That was a long and heated debate between my father and the Almighty. It was decided by the two of them that the human population was growing too much and far too fast for the planet to support them all, so the vampires were created to thin them out so that the population as a whole could survive. Then you have these golden eyed pansies that hate what they are and are trying to retain what they no longer even possess. With a roll of my eyes I say whatever. To each their own I guess. The thing I find the fucking funniest out of all my time there is I am clearly not a vampire. First off, I have fangs, not just really sharp teeth. Second off, I have blue eyes, not red or gold, and third, and most prominent, I have WINGS! Big mother fuckers too. I can hide them at my will, and I do most of the time, but if you catch me off guard, you'll catch a peek. However, even with all these things that point to the obvious, they did everything they could to convert me to their way of life. To sustain my life, I do need to consume blood, but for the most part, I just eat regular food. If I eat a burger made out of real beef, ordering it rare keeps enough blood for me to be good, but there is a point that I do need a larger amount, and sorry, but that animal shit just didn't cut it.

Edward liked to say that I was pure evil, that all I did was think about and plan the destruction of the human race. Well, that's just not true. I am pure evil, that's a no fucking shit there chief, but destroying the humans? No, that's not what I was doing at all. I was thinking about destroying the angels. I'm a demon, it's what I do. And speaking of that ass rammer, god, could you get anymore pathetic? First, all the fucker can do is go woe is me. I'm a soulless monster, I hate my life, blah, blah, blah. Then what the fuck does he do? He goes and falls in love with not only his true food source, but his singer. Are you fucking kidding me? Really? But in the end, he showed his true colors. She got a paper cut, and he lost it. He tossed her ass into a table of glass, she got a bigger cut, and he snapped. I tried to intervene, and I got blamed. Oh fucking well, but sorry to say, if I wanted to kill the human, I would have done it long before that fucking paper cut. He left her after that. He knew the truth, and couldn't handle it. I left the vegpires after that. I was sick of their holier than thou art attitude.

This fuckary went down about seven years ago. Miss Swan dropped off the face of the planet. I have not been able to find her; not that I was really looking for her. Though I was curious what happened to her, I will never go out of my way for a human. I have better things to do with my time than track down a human that got caught up in a world that she has no business even knowing about. Just another strike against the Cullen's I guess. They should have killed her or turned her or something, but to let a human continue to breathe with the knowledge of vampires and werewolves, it is asking for trouble. But that is simply my opinion. They don't really answer to me. They have their own governing force that will deal with them if they see fit.

Thinking about that human was a bad idea. My curiosity is peaked as to what happened to her. I think it is time to find her and see what has become of the human that the vampire race seems so enthralled with. Yes, I think I will. She was an entertaining little thing. Always falling all over the place. It's not like I have to worry about her blood. The more I think about it, the more appealing of an idea it is. Yes, I will find this human and see what the past seven years had done with her. Come out; come out wherever you are Miss Swan.