A/N: This is an alternate direction that Bewitch, Ensnare - my Snamione fic - might've taken had the plunnies not hopped the way they did. xx-Kitten.


HOW TO TOUCH A GIRL

By Kittenshift17


She woke wedged into bed between Harry and Draco sometime after eleven. Her head ached and she felt miserable. Harry had an arm thrown over her hip and his head burrowed into her breasts, pillowed there comfortably. Draco spooned her from behind, his long frame warm and solid at her back.

She sighed. She vaguely recalled being carried to bed late last night after too much wine. There was no way she'd be able to sneak out from between them and she wasn't ready to face the caring warmth of Harry Potter – hungover, recently shagged and pitying her. She wasn't ready for his temper tantrum either when he realised she'd been keeping things from him. Especially things that Draco now knew.

Wedged between them, however, there was no way to escape without waking them both.

"Are you awake?" Draco murmured into her ear when she shifted slightly, alarmingly aware of Harry's face nestled in her boobs.

"Yes," Hermione admitted thickly.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Maybe."

"Can me and Potter take your mind of things? He doesn't know, yet, but he'll be happy to help out."

"What do you have in mind?" Hermione asked.

Draco shifted his hips slightly and the jutting ridge of his morning erection rubbed against her arse.

"Oh… um… I've never…."

"With two? That's ok. We can learn."

"Well, that too," Hermione said, her cheeks turning pink. "But I meant that I haven't… you know. Not since…"

"Bloody hell," Draco sighed into her hair. "You weren't holding out for him, were you?"

"Not on purpose." She blushed brighter. "I just… you know, never trusted anyone enough. The closest I got was trading oral with George when we got plastered the first year his birthday rolled around without Fred."

"Right," Draco muttered. Shifting his arm across her to trail his fingers through Harry's hair. "Do you… want to?"

"I… won't it be awkward?"

"It's not awkward when you snog either of us for the media," he pointed out.

"Well, no, but none of us are naked when that happens."

"Scared, Granger?" he challenged softly, rocking himself against her arse.

"I don't think I can take two at once," she admitted, a little thrill washing through her. She still felt like rubbish, but a good shag might do wonders for her mood.

"We'll go easy on you," he smirked. "And besides, I can always fuck Potter if you get too sore or you don't want to be buggered. It's not for everyone."

"I've never tried it," Hermione admitted.

"You should at least try it," Harry said sleepily against her boobs. "Feels bloody amazing."

"Hurts," Draco correct him. "Until you're used to it. Especially if you've never done it and don't get enough foreplay. Fortunately for you, me and him are pretty gifted at ensuring proper preparation is seen to for such things."

"Perks of shagging bent blokes," Harry laughed. "We do know how to prep an arsehole for a good pounding."

Hermione burst out laughing.

"Who says I even like either of you enough to shag you?" Hermione scoffed. Both Harry and Draco sat up and fixed her matching arrogant expressions.

"Come on 'Mione. It's me and Malfoy," Harry teased. "Two best looking blokes in Britain."

"I'm prettier," Draco assured her.

"I prefer to be ruggedly handsome than to look like a bloody Veela girl," Harry ribbed Draco.

"Girl? Potter, I will fuck you until you squeal."

"Is that a threat?" Harry smirked, winking at Hermione. "I love it when he threatens me. He gets all puffed up with the idea that he could do anything to actually punish me."

Hermione laughed when Draco yanked on Harry's hair, pulling him across her far enough to snog him soundly.

"We're leaving Hermione out," Harry protested breathlessly several minutes later, though both wizards had trailed their hands to each cup one of her breasts.

"Very poor form," Draco agreed before leaning over and capturing her lips with his. Hermione giggled as she kissed him back, feeling all the better simply by basking in the sight of the two of them so infatuated with each other.

Harry's lips burned against her throat as he nipped, licked and kissed his way down her neck and across her chest. His hands slipped inside her tank top, fingers rolling her nipples gently and Hermione's body reacted instinctively. Draco's tongue was sure and skilled against hers. Hermione found both of her hands reaching for the pair of them.

"Bloody hell, you've got a good grip, love," Harry muttered against her breast when she dipped her hand inside his pyjama pants and took hold of his cock.

Hermione's lips were busy against Draco's so she couldn't reply but she stroked him surely. A moan escaped, swallowed hungrily by Draco when Harry freed her breasts from her shirt and licked her nipple. Merlin, it had been a long time since anyone had pleasured her.

"Fair warning, beautiful. I'm out of practice shagging girl," Draco warned when he broke away from her lips to kiss his way south towards her neglected breast as Harry tormented her. She pumped her hands slowly, working both of their cocks in tandem.

"I don't think I'll be able to tell," Hermione moaned softly, her back arching.

"Too fast?" Harry asked, leaving her nipple to peer into her face. He didn't have his glasses on, so he probably couldn't see her very well.

"No," Hermione whispered, leaning forward and capturing his lips with hers.

Harry grinned against her mouth, his tongue tracing the shape of her lips before sweeping inside. Hermione whined when Draco's hand slipped into her knickers. Her whole body was on fire and under the onslaught of their combined skill, she was sure she would break. Her mind drifted only once as Draco shifted enough to get her out of her pants, leaving her bare from the waist down.

"Circe, it's been a while," he muttered as he kissed his way up the inside of her right thigh.

"Don't mind him, he's sentimental," Harry assured her, laving her breasts hungrily.

"Why do I feel a little like a feast laid before two starving wolves?" Hermione asked them both breathlessly.

She ought to be nervous or embarrassed to be naked and panting and moaning for it in their presence, but she wasn't. In fact, she felt strangely comfortable being there with both of them.

Draco's free hand spanked Harry's arse and Harry grinned around her nipple.

"That the best you can do, Malfoy?" he teased.

"I'll deal with you later, Potter," Malfoy muttered, his hot breath ghosting over her sex as he spoke. Hermione cried out when he peeled her open and lapped at her centre.

"Bloody hell," Draco muttered. "Did you know she'd be this sensitive?"

"Ignore him, 'Mione. You're a goddess," Harry assured her.

"I feel like a starfish. Will you get off my hand so I can do something?"

"We're supposed to be taking your mind off your misery," Draco told her and Hermione lifted her head to glare at the blond nestled between her thighs. His grey eyes watched her over the top of her mound as he leaned in and tongued her hungrily like he were licking an ice-cream.

"Misery?" Harry questioned, having shifted to the side slightly whilst trying to wriggle out of his pyjama pants.

"Not now, Potter," Draco groaned at him. "Just put your cock in her mouth, would you? I've been wanting to watch her suck you off for longer than I'll admit."

Harry and Hermione both glanced at him but he simply continued to watch them both with lust-bright eyes while he licked, suckled and nipped at her sensitive flesh. Hermione arched, her mouth falling open and her mind blanking when he suddenly clamped down on her clit, sucking it hard enough that she saw stars.

Harry took advantage of the position to tease the weeping head of his cock against her lips.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, love," he assured her when she opened her dazed eyes to peer at him.

Hermione had stopped thinking. Merlin, she'd missed sex. She'd missed orgasm. It wasn't the same by herself. Wrapping her hands around Harry's cock, she shifted slightly and licked up the pre-come leaking there. Harry hissed between his teeth, his eyes fluttering closed. Hermione smirked and licked him again before opening her mouth wide and suckling the swollen head of his cock into her mouth. He tasted salty on her tongue, his scent – broom polish and treacle – was heady and strong but Hermione revelled in it.

"Switch positions," Draco commanded as he continued lapping at her and entrance. He'd added his fingers to the mix, pumping them slowly and bringing her off again.

"To what?" Harry asked.

"On your hands and knees, Granger," Draco swatted both of her thighs hard enough to sting before he pulled back and used his grip on her to flip her to her belly.

Hermione squeaked when he wrapped his arms around her hips and jerked her arse into the air. She had brief moment of panic that he was getting an extremely unpleasant view of her before his tongue dipped into her mons once more.

"Fucking hell," Harry muttered, his eyes half-lidded and he shifted around until he was on his knees in front of her. He groaned when Hermione opened her mouth and latched onto his cock once more, sucking him inside of her hungrily. She'd well and truly forgotten about her misery.

"See something you like, Potter?" Draco challenged and Hermione groaned when he licked the full length of her slit. She ought to be embarrassed, but she simply couldn't be. Not with Draco's clever tongue working her over like that.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard you squeal, Malfoy," Harry warned Draco.

"Tease," Draco retorted and Hermione squirmed as he worked three of his fingers into her tight sheath. "Don't you come in her mouth, either. I want to double her with you and you're going to fill her up."

"I'm right here," Hermione protested.

"Trust me, love," Draco said, his tongue busy at first one entrance, then the other - making her squeal in surprise. "I'm very aware."

"Well, I've had sex once. Ever. So ease up on the idea of both fucking me simultaneously, yeah?" Hermione bit out, her eyes crossed and he curled his fingers against her g-spot.

"You'll like it, I promise," Draco said.

"You don't have to do it, 'Mione. I'm happy to fuck him while he fucks you if you only want to take one cock at a time, for now."

Hermione's head swam when Draco latched onto her clit again.

"You're going to make her convulse," Harry warned. "Bloody hell, Hermione. You've got the hottest little mouth."

"You should taste her quim," Draco told him, his tongue dipping inside her once more. Hermione cried out.

"I might, actually."

Hermione whined when Harry pulled his dick from between her lips with a wet pop. He scooped his hands under her chin, tipping her up until he could snog her again. Hermione's head swam with pleasure, her synapses firing too fast for coherent thought under the onslaught of sensation.

He abandoned her lips when she was panting raggedly and Hermione squawked when Draco flipped her once more. Lying on her back with her legs spread wide, she watched Harry join his boyfriend between her thighs. Draco's fingers pumped inside of her lazily as he snogged Harry. They both groaned at the sensations and Hermione's eyes crossed.

When Harry turned his head and lapped at her throbbing centre, Hermione thought she might die.

"Fuck, 'Mione. You're delicious. It's been too bloody long since I tasted pussy."

Draco laughed at him and climbed Hermione's body while Harry burrowed into her, feasting upon her dripping quim like a starved animal finally offered nourishment. Hermione blinked dazedly at him when Draco lapped at her nipples before straddling her chest. His hands fisted into her curls and Hermione opened her mouth, noting the scent and taste difference between him and Harry when she licked his leaking slit clean. He groaned softly, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure when Hermione relaxed her jaw and felt him slide deep to the back of her throat.

"Fucking hell, how many times have you done this?" Draco asked between gritted teeth when she sucked hard, working her hands over the length she couldn't fit in her mouth. She hollowed her cheeks as she withdrew swirling her tongue around the blunt head of his cock before bobbing back down his length and refusing to answer him.

Harry's fingers in her pussy made her moan and Draco shuddered at the sensation of it around his cock.

"Gods, Mione' can I fuck you? Please?" Harry begged as he lapped at her.

"Please do," Hermione murmured before sucking Draco's cock back down her throat. She arched when Harry dragged her body down the bed a bit, settling himself between her thighs. His hand bumped her clit as he guided himself inside of her and Hermione cried out at the feel of being penetrated after so long.

Her mind flooded with memories as Harry pushed Draco forward so he was hunched over her head, fucking her mouth. From the way Harry's tongue circled each of her nipples playfully before tracing up her neck to her chin, where Draco's bollocks slapped, and the way Draco suddenly groaned, Hermione suspected his mouth was as busy as hers.

Lost inside her mind, Hermione arched and screamed, Draco gliding deep enough to choke her. Dimly she was are of the two wizards shifting positions, cursing, pleasuring each other as they pleasured her. When Draco replaced Harry deep inside her, nudging at her womb and groaning as Harry's hips snapped behind his, she lost herself. The orgasm tore from her lips with a low cry of agonised delight and Draco nuzzled her cheek, breathing hard while one hand swiped at the tears that escaped her eyes.

"Don't cry, beautiful. This is too fucking good for tears," he murmured in her ear, Harry pounding into his arse while he rocked himself inside of her. "Merlin's demon, I'm going to come. Ready, love?"

"Scream for me, Malfoy," Harry was laughing even as he panted and Hermione couldn't help but laugh with him when Draco jerked back a little, peering into her face while his eyes tightened at the challenge in Harry's tone.

"No, scream for me, Malfoy," Hermione grinned, drifting back to herself and grateful for the distraction. She clamped her pelvic floor.

"Ah, fuck, Granger! Don't do that! Morgana's mons, I'm going to come."

"Knew I'd get you," Harry said triumphantly. "Me and 'Mione have always been an unstoppable team."

"She's already come – multiple times. She loses this round," Draco declared. "And you, Potter, are next."

He snapped his hips, burying himself to the hilt inside her as he clenched his sphincter tight. Harry's eyes crossed and a number of low oaths left his lips.

"Is he making a face?" Draco asked her, grinning when Harry began to swear.

Hermione giggled as she nodded, rolling her hips against him when he did it again.

"I can get him, I know I can," Draco smirked.

"Do you really win, though?" she asked, bucking her hips.

"'Mione, love, help me out?" Harry begged. "Help me bring him undone before I explode."

"What's the matter, Potter?" Hermione taunted. "Can't take the heat?"

"Oh, you bloody traitor!" he protested when she reached up far enough to pull his mouth to hers.

"I knew I liked you, Granger. Good sort, and… oi!" he began before narrowing her eyes on her. Hermione whined, her tongue tangled with Harry's when Draco nipped her throat at the way she'd begun clenching and releasing her pelvic floor as fast as she could.

"Fuck!" Harry groaned when Draco bucked between him and Hermione. Draco groaned when Harry turned his head and bit down on the top of his shoulder.

Hermione watched with more than a little awe and a flutter within her as both wizards' faces screwed up in pained pleasure and she felt the hot spurt of Draco's come filling her aching quim. From the way he bucked, the feel of Harry shooting him full was as good as the lead up.

"Fucking hell," Draco groaned, throwing himself to one side, still buried within her but shifting enough that when Harry collapsed against his back they didn't both crush her beneath them.

Hermione giggled as she eyed the pair of them, utterly spent. She'd never felt so sore and so exhausted in all her life but it was worth it simply to see the way they were both so sexy and so cute in their post-coital bliss.

"Bloody hell," Harry sighed, cracking one eye open as he sprawled across Draco's back. "I love you, you twisted fucker."

He lifted off Draco enough to turn the blond's head and snog him hard. When he pulled back, he leaned toward Hermione.

"And I love you, brilliant witch," he said.

"Oi," Draco protested when Harry proceeded to snog her silly, apparently at the height of his affectionate habits after climax.

"Don't be jealous, love," Harry pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"I'm not jealous, I want you to get your dick out of my arse if you're going to keep squirming like that. It's stinging."

"Such a bloody wimp," Harry muttered, winking at Hermione as he pulled out of Draco.

Hermione was still giggling when Draco found his wand under one of the pillows, cast cleaning charms on all three of them, and then levitated a pillow before whumping Harry in the face with it.