Four years ago I lost the love of my life, I was seventeen at the time and people all around me kept saying that I was too young to know what love is. Funny thing about love, it doesn't have an age limit. As children we love our parents and no one questions it, but as soon as you're old enough to have feelings for someone who isn't apart of your family people blame it on horomones and lust. Yes the lines can get blurred, but when you know that you're in love... trust me you know. That was me, I found love at a young age and held onto it dearly. We were perfect for each other, we were THE perfect couple and then it was gone. He died in a horrible fire caused by a gas leak in our small hometown, we were supposed to meet at the county line and so I left with my friends and we waited. There was an explosion that was seen for miles, I'll never forget what that blast looked like and I prayed so hard that I would see him again, but he didn't make it. That was the worst day of my life, to this day I still think of him and his beautiful face... I don't think I'll ever recover from that horrible night. Its been four years and he still has my heart.
Driving back to my hometown has my heart pounding faster than it ever has, I didn't think I would ever come back to this place and here I am about to cross the county line. My throat closes up and I have to stop the car abruptly, stepping out of my porsche I do the breathing exercises that my friend Lexi showed me, I'm terrified in this moment... being back here means that I'll be facing things that I'm not ready for. I know that I should've done this a long time ago, but honestly I was in shock for so long that I quite literally couldn't speak. But through countless hours of thereapy and time I got to a point in my life where I can fully function and do what I have to do. I won't lie it scares the shit out of me, but I have to face my past no matter what the outcome is. I close my eyes, breathe in and out a few times and get back into my car. Calming my shaking hands, I grip the steering wheel and continue to drive into town. All I can think about right now is what I will say to them, give my most sincere apologies and pray that I'll get just a tiny bit of their forgiveness. That is if the people I once knew are still here and if they aren't, well my mission is to track them down and continue down the road of redemption.