Disclaimer: I own no property claimed by any media company.

John blinked and looked around, surprised to find himself in a smoky nightclub filled with teens.

Finding that he himself was a teen again was even more of a surprise.

"Hello handsome, come here often?" a blonde girl asked.

"Not as often as I'd like," John replied, making sure not to bury his face in her cleavage as was his first instinct and looking into a pair of amazingly clear blue eyes. The flawless pale skin, ruby red lips, and impressive track were striking a chord in his memory, unfortunately his penis was much too loud to be heard over it.

"Maybe I can help change that," she said with a grin.

Long story short: back alley blow job, fade to black…

John blinked and felt around. "I'm in a box, in a monkey suit," he muttered. "This is not good."

He was surprised at how easy the roof of his coffin and the ground above it was to tear apart, reaching the surface quickly and brushing himself off, much quicker than he would have thought possible.

"This all seems familiar," he muttered. "And not in a good way."

"What was your first clue?" asked a feminine voice behind him.

John spun around. "You!" he said accusingly and then frowned. "No, not you."

"Yes, me," the short blonde disagreed.

"No, not you," he argued. "She was taller, had bigger boobs, and blonde was her natural hair color."

"There is nothing wrong with my rack!"

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, I said hers were bigger."

"Buff, didn't you say you had things to do tonight?" a dark haired teen asked.

"Thanks for reminding me, Xan," Buffy replied before pulling out a wooden stake.

"And what are you planning to do with that?" John demanded.

"I'm going to stick this were the sun don't shine," Buffy swore, pissed about the casual dismissal of her rack.

"Rape! Police!" John yelled, running away.

Buffy automatically chased him like a cat after a mouse. "Get back here!"

"Never! Help, mad rapist with a wooden dildo!"

Xander turned to Giles. "I can safely say I've never seen a vampire do that before."

"What do we do?" Willow asked anxiously.

"Wait," Giles said. "Not much else we can do, we simply aren't as fast as her."

About a minute later the vampire ran past them, with Buffy in pursuit, still yelling for the police.

Half an hour later…

"That is some stamina," Xander said, as the vampire continued running with Buffy huffing in pursuit.

"Which one?" Willow asked.


Buffy collapsed at their feet panting. "Water!"

"Fire, flood, fondue!" the vampire yelled as it vanished into the darkness.

"I'm going to stake that vampire if it's the last thing at I do," Buffy swore.

"Not tonight you're not," Giles said. "We still have things to do."

"He looked familiar," Xander said.

"John Flint," Willow read off the notepad she kept with her. "I think we have him in PE class."


"Yeah, he's the guy who doesn't like sunlight and is always reading a book."

"Talk about irony," Buffy said. "Is he in track?"

"No, he hates running," Willow said. "He said he'll only run if chased."

"Wow," Buffy said shaking her head. "Just wow."

Ditching the slayer left John confused but still alive. Checking his pockets he found that they'd buried him with his keys and wallet. He wasn't sure if it was done to avoid pissing off returnees or because there was no one to give his personal effects to, but he was thankful all the same.

Following his fragmented and scattered memories, he wandered around until we found a bar called: Willy's Alibi Room.

AN: This was just a strange idea I had for an SI. I figured he wouldn't last very long at all before getting turned and having to run for his unlife.