Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fandoms involved here!

A/N: this was written a long, long time ago. If I get reviews I'll write an ending. For now, however, it remains incomplete. At least it's novel-length...

Characters (From the Discworld novels. Copyright Terry Pratchett.)

[Note: there are, like, a million different references to Discworld people in this thing. I'd recommend looking up the website for in-depth explanations of everything]

Susan = the granddaughter of the Personification of Death (You know... the tall chap with the scythe and the black cloak). She's a (somewhat cynical) Schoolteacher with a talent for killing bogeyman. Her preferred weapon against supernatural pests is a fire-poker.

Ponder Stibbons = the youngest member of staff at the Unseen University (a school for wizards). He's the head of Department of Inadvisably Applied Magic. He is the sanest wizard, and the most interactive with students. He's in his late 30s.

Characters (From LOTR. Copyright J.R.R. Tolkien.)

[Note: a hobbit in the source material means a bizarrely scaled down, semi-supernatural creature. Here it means a slightly shorter-than-average human from Middle-earth]

Frodo Baggins = an attractive bachelor who inherited a ton of money when his Uncle 'disappeared'. Of course, that money is still in his house in the Shire. (Age 30)

Samwise Gamgee = Frodo's suspiciously dedicated gardener/best friend. Sensible and down to earth compared to 'Mr. Frodo'. (Age 28)

Pippin Took = the potential heir to his family's huge estate. Of course, now that he is stuck in another dimension, he won't be inheriting anything. (Age 20)

Merry Brandybuck = another hobbit. He is Frodo's first cousin. He's probably also Pippin's cousin (since all wealthy hobbit families are related). See the "Lord of the Rings" wiki for details. (age 23).

Characters (from 'the Rocky Horror Picture Show'. Copyright Richard O'Brien.)

Ellen (aka 'Columbia') = a young woman who has practically no back-story in the source material. She's just this random tap dancer in love with this guy named Eddie (who gets murdered by Frank after less than ten minutes of screen time). In one brief scene of the movie, she and Magenta are seen kissing/laughing... while watching Janet and the movie's title character on the 'security camera'. (I swear it's less creepy in context of the movie). She is debatably the only sympathetic character in the movie. In the last scene, she is accidentally shot by the laser gun. As the coolest character, that shouldn't happen. So I used the idea that the laser gun only stunned her (I thank TV Tropes and for that!).

Magenta and Riffraff = in the movie itself, they're siblings/lovers (which is gross as hell) from a planet of the Transylvania galaxy. At the end of the movie, they kill the Frank with a laser gun. (It makes more sense if you look up this movie's plot summary). Magenta was Frank's maid and Riff was some random type of servant.

Frank = in the original movie he's the villain. And he's an alien, like Magenta and Riffraff. For most of the movie, he wears garters and a corset. And makeup. He never shows up in this Fanfiction (luckily!), but characters talk about him a lot.

"It's really you?" she asked with disbelief. Suddenly, she shook her head furiously. "No, you... you died! Anyway, the last few years you could barely walk. You couldn't type, you spoke to the computer. The BBC said so..." she looked heartbroken.

He smiled. "That's partially true. I died in your world, on the so-called 'Roundworld'. I survived here though."

"Oh, my god... Where are we? The Unseen University?"

"That's correct. The Librarian helped me set up a portal between the two worlds.

[6:47 PM]

"I'm back, Sir," I said when I returned to the sitting room.

I didn't see Mr. Pratchett anywhere.

"He's busy, you know. I'm supposed to invite you to dinner, and Mr. Pratchett might be there," said an unfamiliar male voice.

I turned around to see a man in a City Watch uniform. "Who are you? Sir?" I asked him.

"Captain Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork Watch. You're Helen Jones of the Roundworld. I don't know what really going on here, because those damn wizards don't let us know anything, but I'm supposed to be letting you stay at my house." He seemed to take everything very seriously.

"It's got to be about dinner time now. Should we...?" I wasn't sure what else to say.

He nodded. "C'mon. Sybil- that's Lady Sybil to you- should be ready for us now."

I followed him through the dimly lit hallway and out onto the street. Without a fireplace, I shivered. The cold autumn air felt colder on the Discworld.

As he dragged me along, I mentally wished for a coat.

Thankfully, Mr. Pratchett's apartment was quite near our destination. The bustle of Ankh-Morpork hadn't died down, even though the sun was almost done setting.

We entered the house. My host didn't even knock, his butler opened the door for him.

The small foyer led another sitting room. It looked nice enough.

A slightly plump, middle aged woman entered, smiling brightly at us. "Your the girl that our dear friend Terry told us about! Oh, I'm so glad to meet you!"

As she said this, her husband left the room via a staircase.

"So... Am I staying here as a houseguest? Or just for dinner?" I asked.

"If needed, you can stay here in one of the guest rooms," the woman replied kindly.

I smiled at this. From the books I read, I knew Lady Sybil to be a kind person. She was just that in person.

"What's for dinner? I'm rather hungry," I said, blushing slightly.

"Oh, some beef stew. Speaking of dinner, my husbands going to try to get rid of you. He's going to say the worst sorts of things in the hope you'll leave."


"Oh, he wants to avoid you getting involved with one of his investigations. He's funny that way."

Suddenly, my vision swam.

"...sorry!" I managed to say as I found myself in my own world again.

I'd have to eat dinner on earth.

[7 o'clock PM]

[8 o'clock PM]

I suddenly found myself in Lady Sybil's sitting room.

"... And the poor thing just disappeared!" poor Sybil was saying to a dark haired young woman and a unremarkable young man.

"Is that her right behind you?" the dark haired woman asked.

All three turned to face me.

"Oh, where've you been? Did you go back to... Your world?" Lady Sybil seemed quite fearful.

"I'm perfectly fine. Though I ate dinner at the... Other place." I explained.

The two other people seemed rather mystified by this. I knew them, of course. Miss Adora Belle Dearheart and Mr. Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork Post Office.

"Miss Dearheart? Mr. Lipwig?" I began. The two seemed startled that I knew them, but I contributed. "It seems silly, but I'm from another world. I keep getting called back and forth. In my world I'd heard of you two. You're just as interesting as I could hope!"

"Er... Lady Sybil has been telling us about you," said Mr. Lipwig.

"I hope to befriend all of you. Do you think I could see the post office Tomorrow?" I asked.

He smiled brightly. "Yeah, it would be great publicity! Miss Cripslock would enjoy writing about a person from another land."

"You're not supposed to be going for publicity, though. Your supposed to be helping Sir Terry figure out this dimension-hopping nonsense," said Miss Dearheart darkly, light a cigarette.

I couldn't believe I'd been speaking to these beloved characters. "I want to be friends with all of you. I've read all about you, and I want to get to know you. Please, you've been my role models. Who would pass up an opportunity to talk to their hero every so often."

They all seemed taken aback at this statement.

"Miss Jones, I think I should show you to bed now. It's rather late, I think," said Lady Sybil, showing me up the stairs. As I entered a quaint little bedroom, the room spun and I left the Discworld.

[9:21 PM]

[7:16 AM]

I found myself standing outside the guest bedroom. Down the hall, Commander Sam Vimes left his room.

"Oh. It's you again," he said unhappily.

Before I could answer, the room spun away.

[7:18 AM]

[6:54 PM]

I didn't find myself sitting in my hostess's living room. I sat on a bench in a park this time. How odd. The sun was setting, and only a few children still played here.

"Hello," said a voice beside me.

I turned my head and saw a pale face staring at me with puzzlement. The face belonged to a pretty young woman with (mostly) white-blonde hair.

She narrowed her brown eyes. "You're not from around here, are you?"


"You're the girl they keep mentioning. The dimension traveler."

"I guess so."

The world spun, and I went home.

[7 o'clock PM]

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