by barrylawn

the phone rang and de man answered it

"hey sur theres some ass hanging around gard lake do something" said gumshoe

"rite away" said the man "my name is miles assworth and i am... an ass"

edgeworth went down to the crime scene but the ass was gone

"HEY PAL" shouted gumshoe "o its you sir edgeworth sorry the ass got away"

"very well let us begin the search for the ass" said edgeworth


edgeworth found some shit on the floor

"hey test this" said edgeworth

"ok pal" said forensics "it matches that guy" they pointed to marvin grossberg

"hey bro your under arrest because YOU are the ass" shouted gumshoe and grossber was in prison

however edgeworth taught this case was rushed so he decided to find the truth

"hello im miles edgeworth the prosecutor and ass are you the ass" said edgeworth

"no" said marvin "a perfect gentleman like me would never be an ass"

"i see thats enough for me i shall offer my ass" said edgworth preparing his ass "i shall trust u to fill in any holes"

"exellent mah boy" said grossborg


edgeworth went back to the crime scene when someone jumped on him

"OWWW WHO DO THAT" shouted edgeworth

"me" said kay "i herd you seek the truth so the great theef of truth is here" said kay

"no" said edgeworth

"come on mr edgeworth u can be the great thiefs ass" said kay

"NO" said edgeworth

"ok ill be the great thiefs ass" said kay "so wat we lookin for"

"the ass"

"ok neither of us will be the ass" said kay so edgeworth wasnt an ass any more wich nobody thought was suspciious for some reason

"hey pal" said gumshoe returning "ur not an ass any more wtf"

"no no i assure u detective i have a two part special ass"

"OVERRULED" shouted the voice of sebastian debeste and justine courtney

"wat are u peeple doin here" said cortney

"we are searching for the ass" said edgeworth

"no shut up, we alredy found him dumbass" said debeste


"we have made the arrest of grossberg because he got a giant ass only fitting of the ass" said debeste

"OBJECTION" shouted edgeworth "heh heh but i visited him in detention center and we did stuff but I WAS THE ONE WITH THE ASS"

"AAAAH" shouted debeste

"OVERRULED" shouted courtney "he didnt tell u he had the ass to lie and make u believe him"

"o rite justine thanks for the ass"

"aghhhh it cant be true" said edgeworth

"the truth has been lost forever mr edgeworth" said courtney "now die!"

"WAITAMINITE" shouted edgeworth "u just admitted dat by winning teh truth was lost! tat means grossberg being the ass isnt the truth... ITS A LIE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" shouted debeste and they retreated to think of a better plan

"now then getting back to the trail of the ass..." said edgeworth "we didnt find much evidence on the crime scene so lets look there"

they went to guard lake and looked around

"look mr edgeworth" said gumshoe lifting an ice cream thing off the ground "footprints"

"but according to the diagram the police gave me theres only one person tat cud belong to" said edgeworth

"o you mean" said kay

"right. the ass" said edgeworth "gumshoe get that white stuff for footprints"

they footprinted the footprint and the results matched the evil PHOENIX WRIGHT

"PHOENIX WRIGHT" shouted edgeworth "whos that?"

"well the sign says its that guy over there" said kay and she pointedd to a guy in orange


"im mr edgeworths ass" said kay

"funny i dont remember making you my ass" said edgeworth

"yeah IM edgeworths ass" said gumshoe

"who u fukas tink ya ar, messin wit teh tigeh. YOUSE WANNA GET NICKT?"

"hm this man doesnt seem very helpful" said gumshoe

"yeah lets use that" said edgeworth

he tapped his head and he was in chess land

"now then lets anal" said edgeworth

-do you have an ass

"do u have an ass mr wright" said edgeworth

"youse bet ur ass i do" said phoenix

"lets see it"

then the rest of the logic chass happened

then edgeworth exposed phoenixs ass to the world and there was ice cream on it

"mmm" said gumshoe licking it

"DONT LIK DAT" shouted edgeworth

"but why is there ice cream on his ass"

"its simple kay" said edgeworth "teh crime the ass commited... WAS ATTACKING THE ICE CREAM STAND"


"yes i can" said edgeworth "your footprint was found under the ice cream stand"

"yeah pal and there was lots of ice cream gone in a weerd shape" said gumshoe

"ngh that means he succ" said edgeworth

"noooo there no proof"

"yes there is because ur dna wud be on it"

the phoenix roared

"admit it mr wright" shouted edgeworth and he pointed at him "YOU ARE THE TRUE ASS"

phoenix yelled and roare until the lights died, so sebastian who came to arrest him got scared and phoenix made his escape

"DAMMIT" shouted edgeworth "ATFER HIM"

the police went to the wright and co law offices and pulled phoenix out of bed

"UR UNDER ARREST" shotued gumshoe

"WTF WHY" shouted phoenix but they threw him in the detention center and brought him to court

"then the ass was found for eternity" said edgeworth closing the book that this fanfic was written in