Randy with his leg up on a rock next to Tails's house. "Welcome to the Mystic Ruins!"

Camera shows various brutal nature shots, including the waves, some trees, the boulder falling out of the wall to reveal two thirds of the level, and the train to Station Square.

"Hi I'm Daisy!" Daisy bounces up and down in her orange booty shorts.

Tikal waves her arms up and down in honor of her daddy Chief Pachacamac, "I'm Tikal!"

"For generations, this land was inhabited only by the ruthless some kind of native americans, they I guess are all echidnas too and lived in harmony with nature until they DIED." Sepia-toned dramatization of Tikal begging her daddy for mercy in the past plays with dramatic latin music laid over it.

Topical shot of Knuckles standing next to a plump Toadette.

"Waho! The fortune is MINE." Wario puts on his gay fingerless gloves, prepared to play dirty.

"These 24 contestants are in for the challenge of a lifetime," Randy is suddenly on the Daisy Cruiser that is floating next to the Mystic Ruins, there are a bunch of survival supplies on it. The 24 contestants are awkwardly sitting around, Maria Robotnik looks away at the sunset detachedly.

"This is the exact adventure I needed, I have been seeking an adrenaline rush." Froggy crosses her weird frog legs on a stump.

"For me this is about representation, my kind have been looked down on and I want to show the world that I can outwit outlast outplay!" Yoshi laying an egg.

Randy dramatically spins around to look at camera B, "In the end only one can survive… 35? Days, 24 castaways, ONE SURVIVOR!" He yells, the intro begins.

Ethnic grunting.

~Mushroom Tribe~ (Red)

Peach diving to hit a volleyball, looking poised in her polaroid.

Toadette's braids flying around above her head as she falls downward, she winks in her polaroid.

Birdo shoots an egg out of her mouth and butt. Her photo burns.

Daisy dramatically crossing a balance beam. She scowls butchily in her polaroid which falls away.

Rosalina getting railed by Luma at camp, she smiles awkwardly in the next shot.

Blue Noki jumping at a puzzle station, a bit obvious that it's a winning pose. A bunch of sand is thrown at her serious picture.

35 DAYS is laid over the huge Orca from Emerald Coast thrashing about.

~Shell Tribe~ (Green)

Bowser straining to carry a log, Toadette's braid is awkwardly visible on the side.

Donkey Kong jovially playing on some drums. He gives the camera a large grin with his black mouth.

Mario lifting his arm dramatically as he jumps up to a platform. Smoke rises over his theatrical-looking headshot.

Quick shot of a flock of Chaos flying away.

Luigi stretching out his gooch on the beach. His polaroid is dipped in water.

Super close-up of Wario nodding emphatically, then his constipated-looking polaroid.

Yoshi shooting an egg at the enemy tribe, Yoshi sticking out his tongue in his picture.

24 Castaways is laid over a King Bob-omb ready to explode.

~Nights Tribe~ (Purple)

Diving into the water, Froggy swims like a champ. Her picture for some reason is in black and white.

Tikal hopping off the boat with a tarp billowing behind her. She looks off to the left in her polaroid.

Cream throwing her arms around an indistinguishable figure with great emotion. She looks obviously sunburnt in her polaroid.

Amy Rose throwing a javelin and gritting her teeth. Rapid zooming in and out on her smiling flirtatiously in her photo.

Rouge digging in the sand for obviously an idol. Rouge's boobs are prominent in her photo.

Maria standing idly at camp, quick flashaway she doesn't even get a picture.

1 SURVIVOR transitions over a shot of the sunsetting over the Mystic Mountains.

~Ring Tribe~ (Yellow)

Tails' eyes glistening with tears as he cheers from the mat, jumping up and down. He looks sad and lost in his picture.

Big the cat bursting through a wall, Big is HERE, He's too fat for his polaroid.

Knuckles taking off into flight in slow-motion with a blank face, he aggressively holds up his big hands in his picture.

Shadow dashing through the white jungle with ease, pouting while his polaroid bursts into blue flames.

Eggman jumping onto a platform with his bowed legs being all like "Hoy!" His mustache already looking scraggly as fuck.

Sonic doing his little backflip and making a hand gesture, he smiles douchily in his polaroid.

Quick shadowy shots of a bunch of echidnas and chaos dancing around a fire. The Survivor: Mystic Ruins logo lingers on screen for a few seconds.

The Marooning

Day 1

Randy raises his arms at the castaways, they all turn to look at him as if he hadn't been standing there for the last several hours of production photos being taken.

He smiles with a twinkle in his eye. "We're back for season two." An awkward applause ensues among the castaways. "All the supplies you would need to survive are on this cruise ship." Randy explains.

D.K. looking inquisitive that everything was actually on the boat.

"Being a strong ape like myself," D.K. smiles smugly, "I know how to make it in these jungle japes so I feel like I have a leg up."

The jovial gong sound effect plays as the camera focuses on Blue Noki.

"You will have ten minutes to grab everything and then get in your damn boats." Randy begins smoking a cigar. "Survivors ready?" He pulls out a fancy new revolver, he shoots, "Go!"

Sonic and Shadow dash through the items grabbing fruits and other tools for the Rings tribe.

Luigi is shown liquidly maneuvering around the other castaways.

Rouge grabs the basket of Chaos and jumps into the ocean holding onto them. They begin to scream "Wah wah," because they're drowning.

"I knew we could harvest the chaos for a good chao stew later. It was very important that my tribe had them." Rouge and breasts gyrate up and down

Cream grabbing a bunch of bananas and flying away with her ears as Bowser makes off with a bucket of fishing equipment behind her.

Bowser brandishing the fishing pole. "Who needs the food when we can get it ourselves?" a shrewd glint in his eyes.

As Mario fiddles with untying the fishing gear a note flops onto the deck floor, Amy Rose with her big eyes notices and dashes for it.

"The note said 'Shh I'm a secret advantage on it,' I just knew that whatever it was I needed it." Amy Rose gamebots oddly, her sweetness tinging her words as she winks to the camera.

Big off by himself, prying the floorboards off of the ship. Out of breath, he cries out to Knuckles who is flying around the cruiser frantically. "Knuckles come help me with this firewood!"

Wario trying to sneak up on the Nights tribe raft to steal the chaos, Froggy hops over and swats him away. He falls in the water all like "waaaah".

Toadette and Peach are trying to haggle with Randy for some delicious rice and Cheesy Poofs. "Please Randy, I can show you a good time," Peach ha-chas Toadette into the water showing off her underwear.

Randy is aroused and frightened and gives the Mushroom tribe the bags of rice.

"I'm a pretty girl and I can use it to my advantage." Peach shown weaving palm fronds together.

Tails is shown faggily darting around grabbing some last scraps as Daisy micromanages Blue Noki and Birdo, screaming at them to grab more shit before briefly darting into the depths of the cruiser to retrieve her prescription medication.

Randy grabs a megaphone and screams at Eggman, "Two minutes left, get ya boats in the water!"

Montage of the different color boats being dropped into the ocean. Maria dives into the water with some mangos in her bra.

Tikal glides down onto the Nights tribe raft, carrying a tarp that billows behind her like a cape.

Eggman and Big are the last two to jump in, mostly because of old age and being pussies.

"Have fun finding ya camps, thee ya!" Randy takes off in the cruiser.

Shell Tribe

Day 1

The Shell Tribe raft shown in the water, very tenuously balanced as the tribe tries to counterbalance Bowser's immense weight. DK paddling with all his strength but visibly tiring. Yoshi fervently paddles with his legs serving as a rudder, the others obviously fairly useless in comparison.

"I may be the king of the jungle but that fuck is HEAVY," DK wiping sweat off his face with his red tie.

DK topples into the water as their beach is finally in sight, the sun is only an hour or so from setting. Yoshi enthusiastically paddles over to their tribe flag like a doggy.

"We made it boys!" Luigi is drenched in sweat as Mario dramatically throws his hat on the ground and lies on the beach. Yoshi running around hugging everyone gayly.

Wario hauls their chest full of food onto the beach, eyeing it sexually as Mario whips out his leaderly dick. "Alright, why don't Wario and Mr. Monkey work on the shelter while I work on a fire?"

"I have a work hard, play hard attitude and I know when it's time to get down to brass tacks," Mario brushing his moustache. "I watched every episode of season one, I don't wanna be sleeping on rocks!"

"You guys wanna go find the well?" Mario points his big white gloved finger at Luigi and Bowser.

Bowser seeths. "I can find it myself." He stomps off squinting at the map leaving Luigi in the dust.

"I need to pick my battles with these dirty Italians, they don't need to know I could start a fire with my mouth," Bowser snickering in the jungle. "What that mouth DO."

Whimsical percussive noises as the camera shows Luigi looking around the camp awkwardly.

"I knew what I had to do next," Luigi licks his lips.

"Suddenly Luigi was just GONE, like what the hell?" Wario scratched his fine mustache.

Luigi burst into the jungle at full speed, no one knew what to do so they continued working on the shelter and fire.

"This was easy, they just let me go." Luigi oddly smirks in a Luigi guy way.

Luigi dug around at a very peculiar white oak tree. "Aha, I got it!" He says as he pulled the Chaos Emerald idol from the ground. "The last time you can play an idol is at final 6, you can play this after the votes have been cast." Luigi shoves the gem up his butt and returns to camp as the soundtrack plays an uplifting tune.

Nights Tribe

Day 1

Froggy is kicking violently in the water to get her tribe to camp. Rouge was flying overhead to look for their purple flag.

"Are we almost there?" Maria complained as she waved a makeshift map in her face.

"I was DYING to know the contents of my advantage...so I secretly read it on the boat." Amy Rose and her asymmetrical bob bounced up and down.

Amy Rose whispering to herself, "After a challenge before the merge, you will be able to make a tribe vote off not one, but two people at one tribal council." Amy Rose tries stifling a gasp.

Tikal turns around, "Oo, what do you have there?" Amy shoves the note back into her gooch and produces a flint.

"I found flint on the boat so we can make fire!"

"I almost really fucked up there, I don't know if I can trust these girls yet," Amy plots as she takes a dump in the ocean.

Rouge flies back to the boat, "I found it! Froggy turn left!"

Froggy delivered the Nights girls to their camp, it was the chao garden. Tikal squinted at their camp, "Did you guys just see something flying over there?"

Tikal hops up and flies to shore, and animatedly points up as Nights flies overhead. Nights spins around with a bunch of sparkles, as production was given rights to her likeness along with the Sonic brand.

"It was foretold in the prophecy of our tribe name!" Tikal baptising herself in her new faith in the water of the Chao garden. "Our camp is blessed by Nights!"

"Yeah so this weird joker looking bitch is floating around our camp, everyone seemed really excited, but I was like who dat?" Froggy explained while doing the backstroke.

The girls pull their boat onto the shore, Rouge unleashes the chaos they got from the cruiseship.

Tikal immediately rounds up the Chaos, "We must name them, where is that fortune teller?"

The scene cuts away to a snake slithering in the grass.

Ring Tribe

Day 1

Helicopter shot of a bunch of Paratroopas flocking.

The Ring Tribe's raft is seen far away, most of them are blurry except for Big's fat arm pointing.

Closer shot reveals Tails looking visibly seasick, Sonic clutches his shoulder defensively. Big leads the paddling with a breathy heave.

"Some of these boys don't have their sealegs yet, but we'll see when I'm through with them," Big with a hearty laugh.

When the beach is visible, Knuckles athletically leaps and glides over. He dives and burrows into the sand to mark his territory, digging up 10 rings.

Majestic oriental music played as the tribe pulls their raft up to camp, Eggman throws his arms up and laughs nasally.

"I'm just thrilled to be here, and I'm ready to show the tribe all I have to offer," Eggman rubbing his hands together somewhat jewishly.

Sonic nodding proudly, "I'm a track star," he nods to Tails pointedly.

Tails opens his mouth to talk, but is cut off by Eggman, "I'm a scientist by trade, but I have experience teaching, drag racing, animal breeding, graphic design-"

Big cuts him off, "I'm a fishmonger." He smiles retardedly.

"The Doctor, he seems a bit whack," Knuckles pounding his chest in the jungle. "But in general, I feel good about this tribe," laid over shots of Sonic and Tails gathering firewood together as Big fishes in the ocean, Shadow putting palm fronds on the shelter, "it's pretty stacked."

The positive music trails off as Eggman is seen sitting in the sand next to the shelter, trying to make fire.

"Please Mr. Sun, come out and play with me," Eggman angling his nice shades at a small bundle of coconut husk.

"Of course I knew the easiest way to make fire," Eggman scoffs at the cameraman.

"Ho!" Eggman jumps up suddenly, startling Shadow who was working on the shelter nearby. "Shadow, help me out!"

Suddenly most of the tribe is there at the fire, cheering it on as Eggman blows on it.

Dramatic music comes to a climax with an ethnic "hoo-ya" as the firewood Big brought back to camp catches, Knuckles whoops as Tails jumps around gayly.

"Yes!" Sonic yells aggressively.

Laid over shots of the tribe all looking in good spirits, "My tummy felt a little weird coming in on the raft but now I feel great, I love our tribe!" Tails smiling like a lil boy.

The fire celebrations dying down, Tails is sitting next to Sonic in the shelter when suddenly Sonic places a hand on Tails's thigh.

"Let's go find the water well, Tails," Sonic licking his hedgehog lip.

Tails is all like "Let's go!" With his gay ass voice.

"Overall, I got a good hand with this tribe. We already made fire. But Tails is definitely somebody I want to take deep," Sonic waving his finger predatorily.

""We did it!" Tails screams faggily as they find the well.

"Hey Tails, look at this," Sonic whips out his spiky hedgehog dick.

Tails gasps innocently, like he's never seen that before. Sonic bends Tails over the well forcibly drowning him to muffle his rape screams.

"I like Sonic and all, but it's getting creepy around here!" Tails voice rises with uncertainty.

Mushroom Tribe

Night 1

Darkness consumed the bare Mushroom camp as the ladies were still at sea.

"I can't see!" Toadette screamed with her stubby arms flopping about.

"It was already nighttime and we still couldn't make it to camp? Forget tribal council, we are going to die out here!" Birdo and her snout thinned into a line.

Rosalina floats above the ocean with her star bitch, Luma lighting the way. "I think I see it!"

Close up of Blue Noki squinting her small eyes, "Are you sure?"

Peach files her nails within the boat and shrugs.

"I already hate the blonde princess cunt, she didn't help paddle for a second," Noki spits in the night vision lense, "In my culture, laziness gets you death!" She shakes her head.

As the women anchor their boat, they all rejoice and collapse on the shore.

Daisy wipes some sweat of her tit, "I thought we would never find it!"

"Despite our rocky start, I feel really good about our tribe." Rosalina sits on the beach with the ocean in the background, "I couldn't be happier!"

"Should we even bother building anything?" Birdo suggests, the camera's light catching the large rock on her hand.

Peach a bit drunkenly suggests, "Let's do it tomorrow!" Toadette shrugs. No one else challenges this so they all huddle up under the Mushroom tribe flag for warmth.

Immunity Challenge

Day 2

Tribal screaming in the soundtrack as the camera swirls around a big circular track running thing.

"Come on in guys!" Randy motioned to the four tribes looking RAGGED as tit.

Randy smiles mischievously, squinting a lil bit cuz the bright sun is shining in his eye. "So how was everyone's first night in the Ruins?"

Camera shows Amy and Tikal nodding confidently, Luigi with a noncommittal shrug as Eggman screams "Terrific!"

"How many of you managed to make fire?" Randy probes condescendingly.

Shot of all of the tribes raising their hands except for the Mushroom tribe.

Randy points his patriarchal finger. "You in the pink, how did your first night go?" Blue Noki glares really hard at Peach.

"Uhh, bad?" She itches her cooch.

"Why is that?" Randy asks.

"We didn't even build our shelter Randy!" Birdo taps her big hoof foot.

It cuts to Mario shaking his Italian head.

"For today's challenge, one at a time you gotta run around the track handing a baton off to the next member of your tribe," camera cuts to show footage of challenge interns passing the baton to each other. "First three tribes to finish all six laps, get all six of your tribe around the track, win immunity."

Randy uses his chin to gesture at a big covered table next to him douchily. "Winning tribes also each get a reward," he dramatically walks over and pulls the sheet off with his dicke. "The winning tribe will get first pick between a tarp," Daisy ooos at the large tarp, "Some spices," the camera pans over some salt, pepper, and chives, "OR a couch." Randy's dick has the most trouble ripping off the blanket for the couch.

Big screams, "I love couches!"

"Win first, you get to pick first, win second, pick second. Understand?" They all nod, ready to compete.

"Alright, strategize who's going where!" The scene transitions as a baton is dropped into the sand.

Camera shows Sonic, Bowser, Amy, Peach at the starting line. "Alright, we got Sonic for the Ring tribe, Amy for the Nights Tribe, Bowser for the Shell tribe and Peach for the Mushroom tribe," Peach fixes her bra as Randy takes out his gun.

"Survivors ready… GO!" Randy shoots the gun and Sonic blasts off with sonic speed!

"Hewwe go!" Amy slurs as she takes off. Peach starts off at an athletic white lady pace, quickly falling behind Amy. Bowser stomps along, far behind.

"Our 'strategy' was to have the slow people go first," Bowser makes air quotes with his claws. "Stupid plan. I suggested it. I hope we lose."

"Gotta go fast!" Sonic is already handing his baton to Knuckles.

Knuckles jumps up and flies around the track earning the Ring tribe a massive lead.

Knuckles hands the baton off to Shadow before the others tribe even make it to their second person. Knuckles tells Shadow to "Be careful!" shown in captions, as Amy finally rounds the corner, Cream is shown stretching her ears.

Shadow just shrugs and begins to glide around the course on his gay rollerskates.

Cream takes the baton and is trying to run as fast as she can, she soon gives up and takes off flapping her ears.

Toadette shown screaming "Go!" as Peach tries to close the gap, Bowser shown in the background only halfway around the track. Wario looks nauseous.

Toadette and her stubby legs trip over themselves and she takes a tumble.

Randy yells "Toadette takes a hard fall!"

Close up of Blue Noki gasping.

The camera cuts to Bowser finally handing off the baton to Wario. Cream handing the baton to Rouge shockingly fast.

"I'm really fat, this challenge is difficult!" Wario shown sweating through his clothes.

Helicopter shot of the track swirls around to imply a time lapse. Wario is gasping for breath as he finally passes the baton off to DK, meanwhile Eggman is awkwardly running around the track lifting his knees really high, Rouge is straining her bat wings to gain on him him although they're still a full lap behind. She don't even see Daisy running aggressively behind her, about to pass her.

Daisy gets the baton to Rosalina first, "Hi I'm Daisy!" Rosalina is confused and floats along at a light pace.

"Go Rosalina! Go Big! Go Tikal!" Randy screams as they all pass their batons in rapid succession. "Nights and Mushroom are NECK AND NECK."

Big stomps shaking the ground, "I can do it!" He shouts to himself for motivation. Rosalina and Tikal overtake him effortlessly as he jaunts forward.

Camera cuts to DK, barreling around the course desperately trying to make up time. Noki is alarmed at his steady progress, making a stank face at Rosalina who is only maybe a third of the way around.

Noki rolling her eyes scathingly. "Of course the yoga bitch would ruin our lead."

DK easily clears the course, bangin on his nips victoriously after handing the baton to Luigi. Clearly seeing an opening to catch up, Luigi scoots along unevenly gaining on Rosalina, only to fall on his ass. Mario shown wiping his face for shame as he takes his spot.

Tikal briefly turns to Rosalina and mutters "I'm sorry" as she picks up her pace throwing the baton at Maria's tit. Maria takes off running, clearly exerting a lot of energy but looking weak for some reason.

"I have double the reasons to give every challenge my all," Maria gripes ominously, a tear in her eye.

Rosalina hands off to Birdo, and a few seconds later Big hands the baton to Tails,"Okie dokie!" He tells him. Tails takes off with his two tails allowing him to glide right across the finish line.

Randy yells like a dick, "RING WINS IMMUNITY!" Sonic jumps into the air like "Yes!"

Birdo looking obviously trans as she runs at a big girl pace, honking for breath. Luigi finally hands off to Mario, who looks funny dashing with his short legs, desperate to make up the time Luigi lost. Maria collapses as she gives the baton to Froggy.

"I wasn't gonna let the win slip through my fingers," Froggy proudly displays her webbed hands.

Froggy hops around the course at breakneck speed, eliciting white girl cheers from Amy and Cream. Birdo hands off to Noki, who is out like a shot. "Whoa, oh" Noki mutters as she tries sprinting.

Froggy lands on the finish line, "NIGHTS WINS IMMUNITY! We're looking for one more."

Mario tears his hat off of his weirdly balding head as he clears the halfway point. But it's too late, ethnic women screaming in the soundtrack as the small foreign girl quickly overtakes him, dashing to the finish line. She does a little twirl and tosses the baton in the air as her tribe runs over in celebration.

Randy puts his fingers up. "MUSHROOM WINS IMMUNITY!" bittersweet track plays as Daisy throws her hands up, Mario is shown kicking the ground. Yoshi looks distraught that he never had a chance.

"Alright Ring, which reward do you want?" Randy tosses an immunity idol at them, it's a gold star.

Big whispers in Sonic's ear, he sighs, "We'll take the couch Randy."

Tikal struts over to claim the tribal immunity for Nights. "We already have a tarp, so we'll take the spices!"

Randy throws the tarp over Toadette's head, "Mushroom, you get the tarp, Shell, hehe you boys have a date with me at tribal council. You're paying the bill and someone will be the first person voted out. Now get the fuck out."

"Not bad," Sonic comments victoriously on their B-rank victory.

Mushroom Tribe

Day 2

"I can't believe that we won today! Yippee!" Toadette and her small breasts peek out from her pink vest.

"Before we build our shelter, we should do some yoga to stretch out our gooches!" Rosalina suggests. Only Peach and Daisy seem to be down as Birdo uncomfortably declines on account of being trans. She leads the midgets to put up the tarp.

Rosalina wearing a top that reads 'Respeito'. "Even though we won, there seemed to be a lot of negativity around the tribe. I activated my plan to uplift them."

"Doesn't this feel so good, ladies?" Rosalina moaning as she does the splits. Tranquil music plays as Peach bends over to touch her toes.

Rosalina continues, "This is my favorite! The sun salutation." She reaches to the sky sticking her tit outs. Camera rotates around Peach and Daisy emulating her.

Noki placing some leaves down for a blanket for a later, She looks at the girls doing yoga and the camera shows them far enough away. "We have to boot the white people first."

Toadette a bit shocked that Noki recognized her Hispanic heritage quickly nods, "Hell yeah."

"I was taken aback, damn these girls are here to play and they're being trans inclusive. I am ALL IN." Birdo smiles and sucks up some rocks from the ground to shoot at a wild goomba.

The soundtrack plays an ominous 'hummm' as a Koopa mother gives birth.

Shell Tribe

Day 2

"Coming back to camp sucked," Yoshi droops his head down, "I'm not even sure who was at fault today." The waves crash onto the beach.

Camera shows the sun setting behind the tribe as Mario leads them in.

"Today during the challenge, it really came down to me in that moment," Mario moping dramatically. "I was all like Let's a-go, but I didn't a-go fast enough."

"I'm gonna make the fire guys!" Luigi alerts his tribe. As he gets some sparks, his left glove catches fire. "Ow! Hot!" The camera shakily chases after Luigi again as he squats in the Indian? Ocean. DK is shown shaking his head judgmentally, wearing his green buff as a sweatband.

"These crackers don't know a thing about survival." DK makes a slanty face and throws his shit at the cameraman.

Bowser thirstily gulping down a coconut at camp, the captions show DK's whispered "Hey, turtle nigga, what's good?"

Bowser spits indifferently. "We need you here for strength."

DK thrusts his monkey brow in the direction of Luigi, still nursing his hand in the water. "Red or green?"

"What about the gay dinosaur?" Bowser suggests offhandedly.

DK rubs his nipple in consideration, "I'll talk to Yellow about it."

Meanwhile, discordant violin tones lead into a shot of Mario and Yoshi collecting firewood.

"Look for more medium-sized sticks," Yoshi hums industriously.

"Look, my friend," Mario throwing his arm around Yoshi europeanly. "You may not have realized, but Luigi is my brother."

"Aoohh," Yoshi cries with surprise. "So we can all keep each other safe."

Mario nods. "We need to keep the tribe strong." Cymbal noise as a shot of Bowser and Wario lazing around constipatedly is shown.

"The good people deserve to win the game," Yoshi sitting on an egg maternally.

Wario runs into the ocean to take a steamy dump, "Ey, Luigi, you shitting too?"

Embarrassed, Luigi blushes, "I burnt my hand."

Wario begins pushing harder, "That's gay, How do you feel about this vote?"

"Uhh, vote Bowser?" Luigi nurses his gross hand.

"Psh that skinny faggot spilled the plan to me right away. Boom in the puss." Wario cackles to the producers.

Wario smiles widely, "I'll never write your name down, trust," as he shits profusely.

"Going into tribal, I'm nervous. I hurt my hand and I don't want to have to use my idol so soon." Luigi flaccidly takes off his hat.

The camera cuts to the Shell tribe walking to tribal.

"This first tribal is going to be lit." Bowser breathes fire and maniacally laughs.

Tribal Council

Night 2

The Shell tribe take the train to Station Square and walk into Casinopolis, the gold room is awaiting them with a large fire pit lighting the room. "Welcome, please grab your torch and dip it into the fire. In this game, fire represents your life," Randy makes a spooky gesture with his hands. "Once it's gone so are you."

Luigi makes a scared face like he's just seen a ghost.

They all sit the fuck down.

"So, what the hell was that strategy? Bowser why did you go first?" Randy drills into them as soon as he can.

"Well, the idea was to shock our enemies with the element of surprise," Bowser explains.

Randy makes an expression like he's talking to a disabled person. "Incredible. So Yoshi, probably one of your faster runners, never even got a chance to fight!"

Yoshi nodding his head sullenly. "I hate that of everyone out there, I was left on the bench."

"Mario, how did it feel when the challenge slipped away?"

"I definitely feel responsible to a degree, Randy," Mario grandstands, implying he's a target, "but I think I showed that I have what it takes."

"What about you, DK - you were a star out there!"

DK scratches his head sheepishly. "Well, uh, basically Randy, if everyone did as good as me we wouldn't be here, but then again, I don't think it's me tonight."

"Luigi, how are you basing your vote tonight?" Randy senses Luigi's pussiness and attacks.

"Uh...Randy, I, uh, random sorry." Luigi looks away.

Randy is stunned, "Alright, raise your hand if you feel like you're in danger."

Nobody moves.

"Huh, interesting, well someone HAS to be voted out. Wario, you're up first." Randy makes a hand gesture to hurry up.

Wario totters up to the voting urn which is in the bathroom of Casinopolis. "One down," he jeers as he folds up his vote.

Camera teases Yoshi drawing a line on his vote.

DK has a slight swaggering rhythm to his walk. He holds up a vote, camera shows the back of his big buff-covered head. "Deuces."

Mario puffs out his chest as he walks over to vote, writing [Bowser] "We need to trim-a the fat."

Luigi tries to hide the pain in his hand as he struggles to write a name down.

Bowser's large ass holds up a vote, [Gay Dino] "See ya."

The camera pans over the gold rings and coins in the background, "I'll go tally the votes,"

Metallic tingly sound effect over a long shot of the tribe anxiously waiting.

Randy returns and plops the urn down. "If anyone has a Hidden immunity idol and you want to play it, now is the time to do so."

The camera lingers on Luigi,

Randy smirks, "I'll read the votes."

"First Vote," [Bowser]

Bowser rolls his eyes.

"Next Vote," [Gay Dino]

Randy angrily looks around, "Who is this vote for?"

Bowser laughs and points at Yoshi.

"Please write a name next time." Randy continues.


Wario shifts in his seat.

Randy pauses before unfolding the next vote [Bowser] "That's three votes Bowser, one vote Yoshi."

The music begins to speed up as a dramatic ethnic groan is played.

Randy quickly reveals, [Yoshi]. "That's three votes Bowser, two votes Yoshi, one vote left."

Music stops dramatically as Randy slowly reveals the final vote. [Yoshi] "We're tied at three votes each," shots of Mario looking shocked and Wario wiggling his eyebrows are shown. Camera comes to rest at Yoshi and Bowser both looking concerned sitting in front.

Wario claps, "ROCKS! Let's go!"

Luigi takes off his glove to bite at his fingernails. DK rubs his head and looks away as Mario glares around venomously.

"So what we're gonna do is revote, Yoshi and Bowser you cannot vote. If the vote ties again, Yoshi and Bowser will become safe, and the rest of you will draw rocks to determine who goes first," Randy very engaged in this vote.

"I'm willing to let my game fall into fate," DK ominously stares at Mario's bald ass.

"Interesting, Mario, you're up first," He tosses the urn at Mario.

Mario walks back disgusted and writes down another name.

Wario beaming skips to vote a second time, "This is Survivor!" [Yoshi]

DK's nipples glowing in the golden light of the room as he votes again.

Nervously Luigi picks up the pen struggling to hold it in his burnt hand writes only a single capital letter.

Randy getting impatient, "I'll go tally the votes again."

The camera focuses in on Mario's angry face.

"Once the votes are read the person with the most votes must leave the tribal council area immediately, I'll read the votes."

Yoshi gasps, Mario adjusts his hat. Bowser shifts his weight in his chair coldly.

"First vote," [Bowser]

Bowser nods.

Randy opens the next vote, [Yoshi]

Yoshi's long tongue falls out of his mouth accidently.

"Next vote," [Yoshi]

The music crescendos dramatically as Randy reveals the final vote.

"And the first person voted out of Survivor: Mystic Ruins…"


"Yoshi, I'm going to need your torch."

Yoshi stomps and sharts out an egg in DK's direction. Mario's mouth falls open. Luigi covers his face.

"Yoshi… the tribe has spoken," Randy snuffs Yoshi's torch. "Time for you to go." Yoshi awkwardly walks out of the casino.

"Well looks like this tribe is SPLIT right down the middle," Randy casts judgment on the tribe. "Is it two tribes or one here? Get back to camp, guh night."

Yoshi sits in a telephone booth near the Casinopolis, "Those guys are really nasty, they didn't even give me a chance. Their tribe is doomed. DOOMED.


The boys on Shell find something interesting… "Check his fucking bag!" Wario screams.

"Whiteys itching for a race war? They'll get one." Noki cracks her knuckles.

Sonic creepily putting his arm around Tails on the couch. "Call me daddy,"

"I didn't call you slow old!" DK screaming at Bowser.

"We're gonna eat the chaos today," Rouge decides nonchalantly.

AN: Woo! Season 2! Please review and thanks for reading!