"Welcome to the world, Nya," I said happily. Then whispering, I said, "I'll protect you from Mommy and Daddy. I promise."

I looked down at the bumps and bruises they had created on my arms and legs.

If only she could know


"Silly brother! You know better than to touch the welding block!" Five year old Nya giggled, looking at my burned hand with concern.

But really, dad pushed me into it.

If only she knew.


"Kai!" Ten year old Nya scolded, "You should know better than to play with sharp swords." She was tending to one of my cuts.

But really, mom cut me for ignoring her demands.

If only she knew


Nya sighed. "Oh Kai. Why are your wrists so slashed?" I told her I was learning a new technique with Cole. Before, I had told her that Zanes shurikens skimmed my arms.

But really, it's the only way taught to deal with pain. All by myself.

If only she knew

Twenty Four

"Brother? Why are standing over the cliff?" Nya said, nervously from behind me. "Oh sis. I'm just looking at the view." I smiled back at her.

But really, you stopped me from jumping.

If only she knew

Twenty Nine

"Aren't you glad Jay and I are married?" Nya asked me. We were packing her stuff to move in with him the next day. "Of course I am."

But really, I was dying inside.

If only she knew

Thirty Four

"Uncle Kai? Why do you have so many boo boos?" My five year old niece asked me. "I am very clumsy." I replied.

But really, physical scars never go away.

If only they knew

Thirty Nine

"Oh Kai," my sister sniffled, "Why'd you do it? Were we not good enough?" Nya cried. I died the most disastrous way. Burned myself to death with my own sword.

But really, I'm afraid to be with mother and father again.

If only I had told them