Random Omake: Bash the Author!


Kenshin: (insert any stupid tactless comment that would send Kaoru into a violent rage)

Kaoru *eyes searing red*: Kenshin... no... BAKA! *sends Kenshin into orbit*

CIA (Characterization In Anime) agent *enters carrying a briefcase and a huge binder full of paper*: Excuse me, is this the Kamiya dojo?

Kaoru *instantly business-like*: Hai! Are you a prospective student?

CIA *eyeing her in disdain*: Actually, I'm here to revoke your fanfiction license.

Kaoru *wide eyes*: WHAT?!

CIA *reading from the binder*: Well, according to my sources, and a long, painstaking research period, you are currently suffering from a common ailment of certain fanfiction characters, recently categorized as "CACC", or Cross-Anime-Characterization-Contamination. You have, in the past and not twenty seconds ago, shown characteristics of one Akane Tendo.

Kaoru: Cross-Anime-Wha-?

CIA *fiddling with glasses*: I'm deeply grieved to inform you of this (well actually, I'm taking this twisted sort of satisfaction from watching you squirm, but that's besides the point) but I'm afraid I have to revoke your license. Until you recover from this unfortunate character fault, you cannot appear in any further stories.

Kaoru *angry and indignant*: Now wait just a minute, you can't-

CIA *snaps fingers; Kaoru vanishes from existence*: Ah, much quieter now.

Kenshin *returns from his vacational orbit only to find Kaoru replaced by the CIA*: Oro? Kaoru-dono? *glares at CIA* This is YOUR fault again, isn't it.

CIA *shrug*: Just doing my job.

Kenshin *fists raised*: CIA... no... BAKA! *sends CIA flying into orbit*

Kaoru *poofs into existence*: Hoo! Well, it's about time!

Kenshin *huffing*: Kaoru-dono, WHY are you such a problem sometimes?

Kaoru: Me?!

Kenshin *suddenly defensive*: Yes, you! You're always attracting these pesky CIAs... I can't send them *all* flying...

Kaoru *muttering*: Kenshin no baka.

Kenshin *Battousai-eyes* Stupid macho chick.

CIA *a bit battered, knocking on the open dojo door*: E-excuse me... is this the Kamiya dojo...?

*Collective groan*

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono, you haven't even been here for a full minute, and already you've...

CIA *gaining a bit of confidence* Himura Kenshin, I presume? You are hereby revoked of your fanfiction license, due to a serious CACC fault... you have, not twenty seconds ago, shown actions and speech characteristic of one Akane Tendo... er, *and* Ranma Saotome, go fig...

Kenshin *deadpan*: I hate my life. *ceases to exist*

Kaoru: CIA... no... BAKA! *sends him flying into orbit* And stay there. Kenshin no baka, why aren't YOU back yet?

*knock knock*

Kaoru *fuming*: NO! This is NOT the Kamiya dojo! *slam*

Kenshin *on the other side of the door, a door-shaped impression on his face and swirling-eyes* Ororo...

(And if only it could end the cycle of CACC insanity!)

Dedicated to ChaosBurnFlame, who introduced the wonderful concept of CACC... it amused me to no end...

To read his rant, go here:

http:// tanukitoryuu.anifics.com / cacc.html
Oh, and if you're curious to know why I chose the title... CACC *is* the fault of the author, is it not? ^_^