Author's Notes – Of course there is no excuse for going as I did without updating, so please just have mercy on my soul. I'm in college now, and in one hell of a kick-ass major. Kick-ass as in the major is kicking my ass. I love it, but it's VERY hard work. Anyways, I know that it's no excuse, so please just be patient with me. Purdue University rules! Go Boilermakers (which, for those of you who don't know, is our mascot)!
Rated – PG-13 for nudity and a bit of potty mouth
By - Merc
Kagome is in InuYasha's body
InuYasha is in Sango's body
Sango is in Miroku's body
Miroku is in Shippou's body
Shippou is in Kagome's body
Naraku is in Kaede's body
Kirara is in Naraku's body
Myouga is in Kirara's body
Kouga is in Myouga's body
Jaken is in Kouga's body
Kaede is in Jaken's body
Sesshomaru is in Rin's body
Rin is in Sesshomaru's body
Miroku walked into the room sporting a mighty head wound. Wobbling in a way only fitting for a tiny kitsune body such as his, Miroku plopped down next to Sango, who at the moment was refusing to acknowledge his existence. Attempting to get her attention, the monk-turned-kitsune climbed into her lap, an action which was quickly reciprocated with the relocation of his butt to the other side of the room.
"What am I gonna do for two weeks stuck as a flea?" Kouga complained haplessly as he moped next to Naraku's cage. Naraku gave a sad and exhausted sigh. Even dark lords such as he didn't like being toyed with by the fates, and this was definitely one heck of a play day for them.
"Tell me about it," Miroku complained in response to Naraku's sad and annoyed sigh. The three men-turned-women/demon looked at each other and let out long and collective sigh.
"Would you two quit moping already?" Sango complained with a huff as she stood up and followed Kaede, whom was currently in the process of exiting the hut. Kirara growled dangerously at her owner, a sign which meant that she was merely doing the Naraku version of a little meow.
"I'll be back soon Kirara. I'm going to help Kaede and Shippou pick the herbs needed in order to turn us back. Until then, look after these three lumps on a log, ok?" Sango replied. Kirara roared menacingly in response and with a mighty bound, ran up to Sango and gave her a poison-filled, breath-of-death lick on the cheek. Sango giggled, Miroku wondered if that little lick was going to have any long-term affects on his body once he got back in it.
"Please kill me now," Kagome mumbled to herself over and over again as Rin proceeded to jump up and down, noting how her newly acquired, er, parts would bounce with her. Both InuYasha and Sesshomaru had long since disappeared under the water in embarrassment, only resurfacing for air.
"Look Kagome! It's so looooooooooooooooooong…" Rin started,
"Er, why don't you get in too Rin? I'll give you a bath as well!" Kagome quickly interrupted, her hands still clasped fiercely over her eyes.
"Ok," Rin said as she happily hopped into the water and yanked Sesshomaru's head above the surface. Following suit, Kagome yanked on InuYasha's hair and pulled him above the water, where she proceeded to give all three a very feminine-scented bath. First she scrubbed InuYasha, making sure that he kept his hands away from himself. After a thorough shampooing with the help of Herbal Essence, Kagome moved onto Sesshomaru, who got the same treatment. Last was Rin, who, unfortunately, was in Sesshomaru's body. Fearing the evil half-brother of the one you love was one thing, but WASHING him was another. Sesshomaru wanted to die as he listened to the deep voice which had struck so much fear into so many demons giggle and squeal in delight. He couldn't bring himself to watch.
"Tee hee Kagome, that tickles!" Rin protested heartily as she wiggled to and fro under Kagome's hands, which were currently washing her hair. Sesshomaru cringed. His manly, man's man, masculine, testosterone-oozing, female-woozing, body was now smelling of strawberries and kiwi with a delightful hint of plumaria.
Sango and Kaede were trying in vain to block out the happy noises which currently occupied the hot springs. They knew nothing bad was happening, but still…
Sango shook her head rapidly to wipe it clean of dirty thoughts. 'Damn that Houshi-sama, I've been in his body so long I'm starting to think like him,' she thought to herself.
"I found some Kaede!" Shippou exclaimed as he walked over to a patch of red flowers with blue thorns.
"Well done Shippou," Kaede croaked in her small, toadlike voice. Sango nodded in agreement. Clapping in delight, Shippou proceeded to bend all the way over to pick the batch of herbs, forgetting that he was in Kagome's body. Consequently, his skirt hiked up to his stomach, revealing everything underneath. Which, unfortunately for him, was everything. Kaede and Sango proceeded to find out that Shippou didn't think too fondly of underwear, and as a result, stopped wearing it. Both Sango and Kaede fought with ever ounce of their being not to scream and beat Shippou within an inch of his life.
"I just don't understand her, you know? I mean, one minute you think she's in love with you, and the next she's cold as stone," Naraku complained from the corner of his cage.
"Amen brother," Kouga chimed in. "I mean, I love Kagome so much, but she doesn't care. She chooses that piece of dog shit over me every time, and I treat her way better!"
"What is it with women and abusive boyfriends anyways?" Naraku piped,
"I don't know. I think they just like the rugged, manly, don't-give-a-crap types or something," Kouga said with a shrug.
"They always expect so much of us, it's like we can't be ourselves anymore. I mean, I can't talk to her about my love for cute furry creatures or bubble baths or anything!" Naraku said angrily, banging his old fist against the floor.
"You know, I would've thought Sango would've been warmer towards me since we got engaged, but nooooooooo, now she won't let me near her," Miroku added to the rant.
"You know what man?" Naraku asked,
"What?" Kouga and Miroku asked at the same time,
"Women are way too much work."
"Yeah," Kouga and Miroku agreed.
"So why do we keep going after them like their little servants?" Naraku asked fervently,
"Because it's all worth it when you get to the…eh-heh…you know…" Kouga said with an evil chuckle as he made a rather R-rated motion, a difficult thing to watch an old flea do. Naraku laughed heartily,
"Tell me about it. It's just like my girl, it's quite surprising how much I have to do just to get a piece of ass anymore." Myouga had long since gone to sleep next to Kirara, who sat passively behind the three boys trying to cover her ears from the horror that was male posturing. Listening to Kouga and Miroku brag was one thing, listening to Naraku was in a completely different ballpark.
"Oh don't even complain," Miroku said, "if it weren't for you, I'd already be getting some every night, and sometimes after lunch." Kirara at this point was alert and ready to rip Miroku's head off.
"Oh yeah?" Kouga asked skeptically,
"Yeah, we were gonna get married as soon as you," Miroku pointed to Naraku, "were defeated."
"Well soooooooooooorrrrry for wanting to bring hell to earth and destroy all races other than myself!" Naraku exclaimed sarcastically.
"You know, you could stop with the world domination thing," Kouga agreed. Kirara roared the many roars of hell in agreement with Kouga. Miroku merely nodded solemnly, trying to look as authoritative as he possibly could in his tiny body. The three males sat back and continued bonding.
After a very long while of fighting with the naked silhouette of Sesshomaru, Kagome was finally done bathing all three hot springs occupants. With a sigh, she threw them all a towel and turned her back in order to let them change. InuYasha grumbled about his cleaner scent not being a dignified way for a man to smell, being in a woman's body or otherwise, as he tried to blindly wrap the towel around himself. Still having that darn blindfold on wasn't helping matters.
Sesshomaru meanwhile was trying to not get lost in the towel which was thrown on top of his head. Being small definitely had more repercussions than advantages. When he had finally fought his way out of his cotton, silk-soft prison, he noticed to his horror that someone was missing. And they had left their towel behind.
Kaede was busy picking more herbs to put in her basket along with Sango and Shippou when her newly acquired youkai smell kicked in. She stood up to her full height and sniffed the air.
"Is something the matter Kaede?" Sango asked curiously,
"There's something coming, something very powerful," Kaede said nervously. Shippou and Sango exchanged worried glances at each other and poised themselves for battle. The bushes began to rustle, causing everyone to focus their attention on the area over by where the hot springs were. Without warning, Rin jumped out of the bushes.
"Hehe, they'll never find me now," Rin said happily as she posed on the other side of the bush in her full, naked, youkai glory. Kneeling down on her knees, she stuck out her fully exposed, muscular posterior. Shippou started at Rin in complete and utter confusion while Sango and Kaede sported the identical expressions of utter horror and extreme bewilderment.
"Duuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh…" Shippou gurgled as he tried to form words into his mouth from his completely blank brain. Kaede didn't dare try to speak, and Sango was far too traumatized to even blink an eye.
"Oh, hi there!" Rin squealed when she heard Shippou's half-attempt at communication and turned around. No longer was her firm, youkai rear showing to them. For the next few minutes, all that could be heard were the horrified screams of Sango, Shippou, and Kaede.
Later that evening Sango, Kaede, and Shippou made their way back to the hut with their supply of herbs. Upon walking inside they discovered Naraku, Kouga, and Miroku all intently discussing something.
"So then the plan is set. You pretend to die, and then I quickly marry…hey, you guys are back!" Miroku exclaimed with false cheerfulness. Kirara rolled her eyes as the trio made their way over to the wooden stove to dry their herbs.
"Sango, you look pale," Miroku observed. Sango merely looked away.
"Shippou, you look rather green," Kouga added. Shippou proceeded to break down and cry, running and sobbing into the corner.
"What happened?" Naraku asked curiously, Kaede shot him a look that would strike any lesser demon dead in their tracks. Suddenly, Shippou piped up from his little dark corner and told the rest of the group what had happened. Sango was trying not to relive the incident through flashbacks while Miroku, Kouga, Naraku, and even Kirara, could barely contain their amusement; rolling on the floor laughing, the group shrieking in their high-pitched and uproarious giggles.
"He did…and you…turn…bush..." Kouga managed to gasp out between fits of hysterical flea laughter. Miroku wasn't much better.
"Hopefully you don't start comparing me to him!" Miroku said with a lecherous look in his eye and tears from laughter rolling down his furry little cheeks. Sango, quick to pick up on the interpretation, stormed out of the room in a fury. Subduing the monk, he quickly ran outside to try and make amends.
After a few minutes the laughter had died down until Kagome, InuYasha, Sesshomaru, and Rin all walked in, bright red blushes staining all of their cheeks. The boisterous laughter began anew.
"Oh InuYasha, you smell so feminine and womanly!" Kouga exclaimed with delight. InuYasha responded in kind, flipping him the bird.
"It's gonna be a long two weeks," InuYasha thought bitterly to himself as he went and curled up in his usual corner.
So how did you guys like the latest installment. I'm trying to keep my sense of humor despite the fact that I'm drowning in projects. Ok, no more griping. Just for the usual plea, PLEASE OH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE REVIEW!!! Just so you guys know, I'm not one of those annoying author's who'll claim that they won't update unless they don't get x amount of reviews. However, they are the driving force behind this fic, and I do use all ideas suggested to me. Until next time!