Epilogue

"It's interesting to finally see this room in person after watching it so many times through the security feeds," Tattletale said.

I had led Tattletale, Bitch, and the dogs to the Ward's Common Room. Tattletale had called Regent on the way in and (somehow) convinced him switching sides was the smart thing to do. It had been a long conversation and I had tried to avoid listening in.

"You know, you should probably keep that particular tidbit of information to yourself," I said. "Can't imagine the head honchos are eager to know a future Ward had already compromised their systems."

"Bah," Tattletale said as she plopped herself down on one of the couches. "They'll be thanking me. If I expose a flaw in their systems it means they are now aware of it and can patch the hole. I'm not even a Ward yet and I'm already doing heroic things!"

"Except you haven't actually told them about the holes…"

Tattletale smirked at me. "Well yeah, you told me not to."

I rolled my eyes. "You just have to be right all the time, don't you?"

Surprisingly, it was Bitch who answered me. "She does. It's annoying."

Lisa rolled her eyes but didn't say anything so I used the opportunity to keep Bitch talking.

"So what do you think of the living accommodations?"

She shrugged. "Nicer than our old place but it's got a lot more people here. Don't like it."

"Luckily for you, you won't be staying here," Tattletale said.

"Say what?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"Bitch...Rachel doesn't like having to deal with people. Like, at all. She'd rather be with her dogs. Heck, she'd rather be with any dogs than people. So she won't actually be joining the Wards."

"She won't?"

"Nope." Tattletale grinned. "Rachel, how would you like to train dogs? Police dogs, bomb sniffers, drug sniffers, whatever training they need?"

"I'd be in charge?"

"You'd be in charge for training and taking care of them. You'd have a boss that would tell you what the dogs need to be trained for though."

"Fine."

I blinked in surprise.

That was easy. Thought it would have taken a bit longer than that. I mean, Tattletale was on the phone with Regent for at least twenty minutes.

"Dogs are tired, need a nap," Rachel announced.

Before I could make a recommendation Tattletale spoke up, "Voorhees' room is the third door on the left. Got a big bed for her so you and the dogs can all sleep in it together."

Rachel left the room without another word.

"I don't understand her, at all."

"Rachel had a pretty bad childhood, fucked with her head. Even with my powers I'm still always watching what I say around her." Tattletale gave a half-hearted shrug. "Anywho, on to happier subjects, name's Lisa."

She pulled off her domino mask. The effect would have been more striking if I hadn't already seen her without it on. It altered the shape of her face and hid her freckles quite effectively.

"Lisa, huh? Well, I'm Taylor but I'm pretty sure you already knew that."

"Guilty as charged," she said with a smirk.

"Got any questions for me?" I asked as I draped myself on the other couch.

"What about-nope, not that. How-no, nevermind on that one. What's-oop, my mistake."

I furrowed my brow. "What are you doing?"

Lisa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Trying to find a good conversation topic."

That just confused me. "What makes you think it's hard to find a good conversation topic? I know I'm not exactly normal but I'd like to think I'm well adjusted, given the circumstances."

From the expression on her face, Lisa appeared to be choosing her words carefully. "Taylor...you ate your clones. Yes, they were evil and needed to be killed but you ate them."

"They had my powers," I said defensively. "You know how hard I am to kill and they had already mutated from their fight with Armsmaster."

"Taylor," Lisa said. "Stop and think about this. You've got your spit, your insane strength, your nanomist. But you swallowed them."

"Well, yeah...I...had to be...sure…"

Why had I swallowed them? I hadn't given it much thought at the time, it just seemed like the most expedient way to overcome their regeneration. I knew that between the mist of my jaw, my spit, and my no-doubt intense inner muscles, I'd kill them by eating them.

I was just being practical, it's not like I'm a cannibal...oh God...

I leapt off the couch and made a mad dash for the kitchenette. Unsurprisingly, the already small sink lacked the necessary volume to contain the amount of vomit that exited my mouth. Once it was done I just stood there, crouched over the melting remains of the vanity.

I saw Lisa get off her spot on the couch and approach me from behind. She rubbed the part of my back she could reach.

"I know you don't feel like it, but this is a good thing. That fact that you're having this reaction means you're not too far gone."

"I ate them," I said as I retched. "The Siberian eats people."

"And she does it with a smile on her face. You don't," Lisa said firmly. "You realize the enormity of what you did. It's not like you want to do it again."

"No," I agreed. "I'm not doing it again."

"Then you're not like the Siberian. I can't really picture you in the Slaughterhouse 9 so don't worry about it. You show remorse, you get sad when people die. That makes you human."

"I don't know about that," I said morosely. "I didn't have much of a reaction to finding out about all the people Behemoth killed."

Lisa started to open her mouth but I interrupted her as the realization finally hit me.

"My God, I never cried. My teammates died, the Protectorate heroes died, and I had no reaction. What's wrong with me?"

"Taylor," Lisa said in a soothing voice. "What is it that you're doing right now?"

"Having a pity party for myself over the realization that I'm as monstrous on the inside as I am on the outside?"

Lisa shook her head. "No Taylor, you're grieving. Everyone deals with death differently. You compartmentalize. Your Dad threw himself into work. No one way is the correct way. What's important is that you deal with it rather than let it fester."

"So what do you recommend?"

"Long term? Talk to a counselor. But for right now? Go cuddle with Rachel's dogs and take a nap. She hasn't fallen asleep yet and she understands puppy therapy."

~Adaptation~

"BULLSHIT!"

I chuckled. "What's the matter Alec? Can't win at Mario Kart when you can't cheat and screw with my fingers?"

"You're, quite literally, playing with two right hands. You shouldn't be this good," Alec fumed.

I was playing the game with my tentacle hand and my spare right arm since they were the only two hands small enough to hold the controller. Alec had bet me his dessert ration that he could beat me on Rainbow Road. It had been a close game but I had got lucky going around a turn and hip-checked him off the edge on the last lap.

"I may have neglected to mention that I did basically nothing but play this game after I joined the Wards before I was officially announced. Couldn't really go out and about and there was only so many times I could read the Wards Rules & Regulations packet before I got bored."

"You're a fucking ringer is what you are," Alec grumbled as he got up from the couch and stalked off.

Once Alec had disappeared to his room Weld walked out of his own.

"Everything okay out here, Voorhees? I heard shouting."

"Just Alec being butthurt about losing."

Wow. Did I really just say butthurt?

"Um...Alec gets mouthy when he plays and I guess it rubbed off on me."

Weld leaned back slightly so he could see down the hallway. Satisfied with whatever he saw, he came and sat down on the floor next to me (I was on the only couch that could support his weight).

"You know Mundinus relatively well, right?"

Why does he always use cape names? Seems a little weird.

I shrugged. "Not as well as Lisa or Rachel do, but better than everyone else I guess. Though he and Dennis seem to get along."

"I already asked Clockblocker. Said the two of them talk about pointless, stupid guy stuff."

"That kinda sums up what he and I talk about as well. Other than 'guy' part that is. Just pointless, stupid small talk really."

Weld sighed. "It's just, I'm trying to get a feel for him. He's been a probationary Ward, same as Insight, for three weeks now and I still feel like I just met him. How am I supposed to be a good captain if I can't connect with him?"

I snorted in amusement. Weld looked at me in surprise.

"You are vastly over-complicating things. Alec is motivated by one thing: himself. He joined the Wards because Lisa told him it was a good way to get chicks and that it paid well." I grinned. "Course, a former criminal has a vastly different perspective than the average teenager about what constitutes 'well' when it comes to the size of one's paycheck so that's part of the reason why he's been in a bad mood this week. He saw the size of the deposit in his bank account."

"That's really it? There's no deeper meaning behind his actions?"

"Nope, dude is pretty straightforward. Alec wants a comfortable life and since the Wards aren't turning out like he expected he's kicking up a fuss and looking to be a troublemaker. To quote a wise man, 'nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.' Wait a little while, Alec will cool down."

"I know I came on at the same time as Insight and Mundinus so I've been trying to be lenient while I got a sense of everyone but I can't give him too much more time. The Director will expect a properly run Wards team from me. I'm gonna have to start handing out punishments if he doesn't shape up."

I tried to imagine how Alec would handle any sorts of punishments. "That's pretty much the exact opposite of what you should be doing."

Weld raised a metallic eyebrow. "How do you figure?"

"Alec is already unhappy that the Wards aren't like he was expecting, do you really want to make it worse? Don't forget, the only thing tying him to Brockton Bay is the fact that he's too lazy to skip town. But if you make it more hassle for him to stay here than it would be to leave, he'll do it. Try positive reinforcement instead."

Weld sighed and shook his head. "You sound like Insight."

I blinked. "Wait, you already talked to Lisa about this? The Thinker? Then why are you talking to me instead of taking her advice?"

Weld looked chagrined. "I thought she was trying to get me to take it easy on him because they were villains together."

"Pul-eeze. If Lisa thought it would do any good she'd have said so. She'll take any excuse to see Alec get punished. She'd point and laugh while you made him run laps or whatever."

"Oh right, former villains."

"Oh come on Weld, you know it's not because of that," I chastised. "It's because that's the best way to interact with Alec. Light-hearted ribbing and teasing, it's how he treats everyone and he expects the same in return."

"So you're saying the best way to get a workable relationship with Alec is to insult him?"

"It's how he and I interact."

Weld groaned. "Now you sound like Clockblocker."

"Funny how asking people that know Alec all give you the same advice about how to deal with him," I said sarcastically.

"Alright, I get the point," Weld conceded. "Now that that is out of the way, we can talk about lighter topics."

"Got anything in mind?"

"The movie theater by the Boardwalk just reopened. Wanna go see what's playing?

"Sure, sounds fun."

"I'm really, really sorry but we are all sold out. I know you're heroes and everything but there aren't any more seats."

"It's not like a seat could support either of our weights," Weld said as he motioned at the two of us. "We're fine with standing in the back."

"Again, really sorry but no, I can't do that. It would be violating the fire code and I don't want to give my boss any excuse to fire me. He already doesn't like me."

"Don't worry about it," I said to the lady behind the counter before Weld could speak. "You're just doing your job."

"I'm really sorry about that," Weld said as we left the movie theater. "I should have planned ahead. Of course a lot of people are going to want to go there now that it's open."

"Eh." I shrugged. "None of the movies looked that interesting. Certain genres kind of lose their impact when you've been in an Endbringer fight."

"Guess that's true," Weld admitted. "Still, seeing a movie is sorta the standard first date so that's why I wanted to see one."

I stumbled at his words and nearly plowed into a hot dog vendor and his cart.

After the requisite apology for almost killing a man with my nanomist (I didn't mention that he could have died when I apologized to him) I turned back to Weld.

"What was that? Did you say date?"

My tone appeared to have caught Weld off-guard. "Uh, yeah. Did...did I not make it clear that that was what this was?"

"No!" I practically shrieked, drawing a lot of attention from the people nearby. The crowd appeared unsure whether they wanted to stay and watch or vacate quickly.

"Uh, let's put this conversation on pause for a moment," I told Weld.

I surveyed the surrounding area, looking for someplace that would grant us a bit of privacy.

That should work.

I looked at Weld. "Don't struggle." I reached out with my right hand and wrapped my fingers around his torso.

"Uh, Voorhees?"

"Hold still," I told him.

I reared up on my hind legs and walked towards a nearby shop. Stretching up, I shoved Weld forward and he understood what I was implying and climbed the rest of the way onto the roof. After double checking my hand and footholds, I climbed up after him.

"Now we don't have to worry about this showing up as a video on PHO," I said. "So um, sorry, no. I didn't realize this was a date."

Weld rubbed his shoulder awkwardly. "I just assumed that...you know...you're a girl, I'm a guy. Figured it being a date was implicit in the fact that I was asking you to a movie. In your defense, I never actually said the word 'date' though, so that's my bad."

He looks just as uncomfortable with this whole situation as I feel.

"It's not that I'm opposed to the idea of dating..." I began but stopped when Weld's expression shifted.

Wait, crap. I didn't mean it like that.

"Or even opposed to the idea of dating you," I quickly clarified. "I just didn't know that it was a date so when I found out that you thought it was I was just caught off guard and didn't know how to react."

I continued, "And frankly, the idea that anyone would want to date someone like me is rather surprising."

Weld gave me a small smile. "Don't sell yourself short, Voorhees. You're brave, self-sacrificing, you care about your friends, anyone would be happy to date you. As for the elephant in the room...well I hardly think I'm in any position to judge someone's appearance."

Not sure I agree with that. You may be made of metal but you're still handsome.

But I didn't say that because it would have sounded like whining.

"Alright, so how about we start over? That sound like a good plan?" Weld asked.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Voorhees," Weld said and then paused for breath. Which was odd because I was pretty sure he didn't need to breathe. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

I smiled. "Sure."

Weld smiled in return. "Great. So since seeing a movie is out, how about a stroll down the Boardwalk?"

"I'm fine with that." I leaned over the edge of the building and looked down. Bit of a drop, hmm. "Welp, let's see about getting you down from here without damaging the pavement."

"Captain Dan & The Scurvy Crew are a pirate themed rap group, I like to listen to them when I'm in a goofy mood. Well, them or Gloryhammer really. Gloryhammer is a power metal band that doesn't take themselves too seriously."

I nodded without saying anything so Weld continued talking.

"Powerwolf has the same mix of fantasy and tongue-in-cheek self-awareness as Gloryhammer, but they tend to be a bit more crude with things so I don't usually listen to them. I mean, one of their songs is called 'Resurrection By Erection' so that kinda tells you all you need to know."

I smirked. "You should play that song when Mundius is around, sounds like a good conversation starter."

"I'll make a note of it but I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about work?"

"Right, sorry."

In an effort to A) not accidentally say something that shouldn't be overheard and B) get to know one another better Weld and I had agreed to not talk about anything Ward or PRT related. A good idea in theory but it was becoming a problem in practice because we didn't have many similar interests. Weld's favorite hobby was listening to music. I didn't hate music but I considered it background noise for other activities. I liked to read or (since becoming a Ward) play Mario Kart. This resulted in us not having much common ground beyond work. So we had been swapping back and forth trying to inform the other of what we preferred to do in our off time.

Maybe we could talk about the songs in musicals and Disney movies. "Do you listen to a lot of movie soundtracks?"

"Older stuff I do," Weld said. "But nothing recent. A lot of movies nowadays seems to want music to be a quiet thing to help set the scene instead of something that you focus on."

And that's a bad thing, I realized. Alright, guess I better keep my opinion to myself. Telling someone as into music as he is that you think it should stay in the background is probably the equivalent to Weld telling me he likes Twilight or something.

"Like Star Wars?" I asked, uncertainly.

"Sure, John Williams is great. There's also Danny Elfman, Hanz Zimmer, James Horner, Howard Shore, and Vangelis."

"I...don't know any of those names," I admitted.

"Oh," Weld said somewhat uncomfortably. "Well, I've got some of their stuff on my iPod if you want to listen to it."

Instrumental movie soundtracks? That just sounds incredibly boring.

"Maybe later," I said, hoping he would drop the subject. "We're supposed to be getting to know each other."

"Okay. Enough about me, what do you like to do for fun?"

"Read mostly," I said somewhat embarrassed. "I've been playing games on the Nintendo since joining the Wards. I...didn't have many friends until recently so I had to find solitary ways to entertain myself."

"While I got along with my teammates in Boston, I didn't have any close friends other than Hunch so I'm kinda in the same boat as you there." Weld gave me a small smile. "I mean, I just got done telling you about the music I like listening to while meditating. That's a pretty solitary activity as well."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I don't want to be more social in my down time."

"You're being social. You're on a date, aren't you?" Weld said, obviously trying to cheer me up.

"True," I conceded. I wasn't sure what else to say. Fortunately, I was saved by a beeping coming from Weld's cell phone.

"That alarm means I've got an hour before I need to start patrol," he said as he fiddled with it and then placed it back in his pocket. "I should head back to the PRT Building."

"Okay." Crap, will this be a long, awkward walk back? Will he try and kiss me at the end of the date? But the date will end the in PRT lobby. Think up and excuse!

"There's a bookstore down there I've been meaning to go to," I said, pointing in the opposite direction of the PRT building from our location. The best part was this wasn't even a lie, I had been meaning to buy some new novels to read. "So I think this is where we part ways otherwise I'll end up putting the trip off for another two weeks."

"Okay, do this again sometime? Say, next Friday? I'll plan ahead and buy movie tickets ahead of time."

This date certainly didn't go well but it didn't go badly either...and Weld is a really nice guy. Why not?

"Sounds like a plan."

"Onward noble steed!"

"You know Insight, all I would have to do is buck my hips and you'd get launched onto my shoulder."

"Voorhees!" Insight let out a mock gasp. "You'd risk injuring your teammate over a mere nickname?"

"Not at all, but you are sitting on one of my eyes and maybe I got tired of looking at your camel toe and simply tried to adjust. Not my fault you didn't hold on."

"I do not-" Insight started to angrily say before pausing. "Oh, sorry. Didn't realize I was flashing that." Insight pulled herself a bit higher on her perch. Because of the slope of my back she was going to inevitably slide backward down onto my hips as I walked, but I appreciated the thought.

"Not a big deal, you'd be amazed at what I see just because people don't realize I'm looking at them."

"Did you forget what my power is? I can tell you how often Clock picks his nose and wipes the boogers on the underside of the Console Desk."

"I ate my clones without flinching, you'll have to do better than boogers."

"Oh, so you want me to pull out the big guns, huh? Alright, would you like to know which pieces of furniture Glory Girl and Gallant have had sex on in the Wards Common Room?"

"Since I joined? Both couches, his room, Clock's room, and the Console Chair." I tapped my face with a finger. "The nose knows."

"Dammit. My power should have warned me you already knew about that."

"Insight!" I said with a mock gasp, deliberately parroting her from earlier. "You'd risk using your power on a teammate when we are in a possibly dangerous situation. What if you get a Thinker headache?"

Insight snorted. "Please, there isn't anybody around."

She wasn't lying. Between her powers and my enhanced senses, we'd have known if people were nearby before any of them knew about us.

We were right on the edge of where things had ceased being disintegrated by the heatwave of the explosion and had instead been damaged by the sheer force. So there was a lot of collapsed or partially collapsed buildings, which was why Insight was riding on my back. It was quicker and easier to get around this way than if she tried to climb all the rubble herself. We were investigating this area because it was, supposedly, where the Fallen were holed up.

According to Insight, however, the Fallen had picked up and left town after I captured the two top capes that had shown up, Valefor and Eligos. Valefor was the kind of cape Master/Stranger protocols had in mind when they were written. He could hypnotize people and give them orders they wouldn't remember just by making eye contact with them. For some reason when he tried the trick on me it just made me angry and I backhanded him into a tree and broke his spine. Eligos hadn't even managed to hurt me, his blades of wind were useless against my armor so I'd just grabbed him and held him in place until the PRT troopers were able to subdue him. Insight had said the various non-powered members of the Fallen had left after that, but according to the Director 'a Probationary Ward that doesn't like going out on patrol does not get to determine patrol policy' so we still had to go out and confirm that they were not any Fallen in the area.

"So when you going to migrate to the big leagues? You've got to be ready to go take on Ash Beast, at least."

"Miss Militia said that the PRT wants to wait till I'm an adult before they let the Protectorate intentionally injure me. Even with my and Dad's consent, the Youth Guard would still make too much of a fuss about it for it to be worthwhile, apparently."

"Your Dad's okay with it?"

I shrugged, though not too much because I didn't want to clip Insight with the nanomist on my shoulder. "After I told him how I was at ground zero for a nuclear explosion created by Behemoth, I think he's finally accepted that I'm pretty hard to kill and he isn't quite so worried about me."

"He's your Dad Voorhees, he's always going to be worried about you. Knowing that you're basically unkillable just means he doesn't have to worry about your safety. Instead he gets to worry about if you're earning enough at your job or whether that boy you're interested in is treating you right." Insight grinned. "Speaking of, how did your date with Weld go?"

"It was...nice."

"Boring," Insight interjected.

"He was a perfect gentleman-"

"Didn't light a fire between your legs."

"He asked if I wanted to catch a movie next Friday-"

"You said yes because you couldn't think up an excuse without sounding mean."

I glared at Insight but didn't bother turning my head around, I knew she knew I was glaring at her. "You are aware how annoying that is, right?"

She laughed. "But you didn't deny any of it."

I sighed. "I like Weld. He's nice, good looking, and doesn't mind…" I gestured at myself. "You know. But...there's just no spark. It felt like two friends hanging out instead of a date."

"But you're going on another date."

"He's nice!" I justified.

Insight shook her head. "Voorhees, Voorhees, Voorhees, Voorhees. Not only are you stringing him along, because keep in mind HE doesn't date very often given his nature but he's also the head of the Wards, i.e. our superior. Do you not foresee any problems that could possibly unfold?"

I cringed. She was right. "So I should call off the date?"

"If you don't think the relationship has any potential, then yes."

"But he's nice…"

"Don't make me call your father and tell him you've got a boyfriend."

"Alright, alright. Geez."

We walked-or rather I walked and Insight rode, in comfortable silence for a few moments.

"Besides Weld, do you have any idea who else we're getting as a permanent transfer?" I asked.

"The higher-ups don't think we need any more teammates."

That surprised me. "Really?"

"Gallant, Clockblocker, Vista, Mundinus, you, me, and Weld. Plus Rachel is doing her thing with the dog training. They weren't even sure about Weld being permanent but the Wards needed a new captain and they were worried about Gallant and Clock leaving."

I hadn't heard any such news from either of my teammates. "Say what? They're quitting?"

"No. Clock will be graduating to the Protectorate soon and Gallant was talking about doing some kind of New Wave integration. Either bring them on or he might join them. All up in the air at the moment but if he was to quit they didn't want him being leader when it happened."

"Huh, when you put it like that I guess we don't really need more Wards."

"Yeah. Protectorate is in the same boat. They got Armsmaster, Miss Militia, Sere, and Dovetail, plus Clockblocker soon. Almost seems like overkill given how there really isn't much of a villain presence in the city anymore other than the Fallen." Insight rolled her eyes. "Because, after all, we haven't confirmed that they left."

"Kinda surprised no other groups have tried to move in yet, now that you mention it."

"For starters, a lot people don't want to come here. They don't think there is money to be made. Sure, the city is recovering at a good pace considering there was an Endbringer attack but we were still attacked by an Endbringer. Behemoth isn't known for creating economic prosperity. Plus, the western edge of the city got leveled by a nuclear blast and it doesn't matter how much you shout that Scion cleaned it up, radiation still makes people nervous. That said, the Teeth left Pittsburg so they might be headed our way but beyond them, most groups don't want to mess with the Ward that can tank a Behemoth created nuclear blast and walk away."

"Yet another way I'm carrying this team," I said wryly. "Though it's usually not as literal as it is right at this moment."

Insight grinned. "Hey, I could get off and climb this rubble myself, if I wanted to."

"You willingly engage in strenuous labor? Yeah, that'll happen right around the time Rachel adopts a cat."

Insight laughed. It was a nice, honest laugh.

We continued our good-natured bickering for the rest of the patrol.

Other people may have been concerned about the future but between my friends, my teammates, my father, and my power, I felt invincible. I wasn't worried, life was good.

Author's Note: And that's the story done. If you want to see the artwork I commissioned of full transformed Taylor (as well as read the bonus chapters) you should go to the Spacebattles forum Creative Writing section. Honestly, you should go there anyway because the Worm fanfic community is primarily located there. The majority of fics on this website are reposts from there and a lot of authors never bother to repost at all. Not only are there are a lot more fics to read on SB, but the community is much more active there as well, with new stories popping up and plenty of discussion being had. I recommend if you do create an account there that you lurk for a bit and learn the rules and decorum before posting anything that might make you embarrass yourself.