Author's Note: To those of you about to embark on this, first I apologize but I couldn't resist, second this is an ongoing mini-series prompted in "The Wonderful World of Fanfiction" but I've moved it over to its own story because why not, three if you haven't read at least part of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus" you'll be rather confused, and finally NONE OF THIS IS CANON EVER. With that, enjoy.
AN: Special fangs, if you don't get it then fook you prep, to The Carnivorous Muffin for pledgerisssng da storie and stilin ma charactrzz. Tell the preps to go fuk themselves and to all u goffick faans oot thar, you rock. Oh, and flammers, stoop flammin the story, okay! The Carnivorous Muffin stils thangs all de time, and is waay cooler dan u preppy loosers.
Tanks for helpin me with da spelling, u are da luv of ma depersing life, and tell Raven I said hi.
In which Lily learns the true nature of the world and the ultimate battle between the preps and the goths that would determine the fate of the universe, Lily is blamed for recent events and in turn chooses to blame Rabbit for recent events, and everyone becomes a Satanist.
Lily wanted to say she was feeling an acute sense of déjâ vu that morning, on par with her presenting Lepur Rabbitson's half-brother, Lenin Rabbitson, to her Defaultian comrades but at the same time it wasn't. If only because this time Lily herself wasn't doing the introducing, in fact she wasn't doing much of anything, just eating breakfast with the team, listening as Wizard Lenin complained about the state of the education to anyone who would give him half an ear (which appeared to only be Luna), and had only been thoroughly interrupted when… well… this happened.
Actually, they had all been interrupted, as they turned to stare at the new transfer student, just announced by Dumbledore, and presented to the Default table with unholy glee or at the very least an unholy amount of relief from the other heads of houses, that she wouldn't be their problem.
Which, well, Lily herself wasn't one to judge but none the less…
That was an awful lot of leather for the Hogwarts uniform, especially on a twelve-year-old. Actually, it was just a lot of eye catching clothing in general on a twelve-year-old. The leather miniskirt, the leather corset, the leather dog-collar, the leather shoes, not to mention the foundation, the blood red lipstick, and the startling amount of eyeliner.
"The hell, Ellie?" Blaise commented, turning to her with an accusing glance. To which everyone responded by also staring at Lily, like this was all her fault somehow.
Before Lily could proclaim that she had no idea what was going on, both to appease Blaise, as well as Wizard Lenin who was getting a very suspicious look on his face the girl spoke, "Hi,"
She seemed to be waiting for some response, except not, because although there was an awkward pause the girl didn't seem flustered by it. Instead she sat down right across from Wizard Lenin and next to Hermione, either oblivious or unbothered by the increased intensity of Hermione and Wizard Lenin's glaring.
Lily finally realized that someone was going to have to say something and apparently that was going to have to be her, "Hello… So, you're a transfer student."
The girl nodded, then exclaimed because for whatever reason it was an exclamation, "I'm actually a vampire and a witch, and I'm seventeen, I've spent the past eighteen years touring with god Chralotte as their lead singer, but then I realized that I needed to go to Hogwaarts and had to come back, but I decided to look younger so that I could go to classes with the goffs instead of those looser prepz."
For a moment, no one said anything, then with a sigh, Daphne said, "This is worse than the Albanian."
"Excuse me?" Wizard Lenin's eyebrows raised and for a second he seemed to baffled at the thought of anyone saying that to be angry.
"Oh, can it Rabbitson, you know you're damn creepy and don't even pretend that you're not!" Daphne, it was to be noticed, had reached her limit long before this particular breakfast with Wizard Lenin's grand charade.
"I am traumatized! I have had a very difficult childhood!" The sad thing was that Wizard Lenin actually seemed rather offended by all of this. Then he pointed to the unnamed girl sitting among them, "And she has had some sort of a stroke!"
"But seriously, Ellie, I will play however much quidditch you want if you stop dragging people into Default. It's starting to get embarrassing." Blaise commented, waving off both Wizard Lenin and Daphne before they could go at each other's throats.
"Yeah, that's great but… This one isn't mine." Lily said, hoping one of them realized that the girl, whatever her name was, was still sitting right there.
The girl certainly realized as she raised her middle finger and said in a rather slurred tone, "Foook you prepz!"
It was a sad statement about Default that not one of them felt the inclination to be polite towards her. In fact, it was a very sad statement that out of all of them, probably her, Rabbit, and Luna were in any position to even pretend to be interested.
As if on cue Luna took it as her time to shine.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. That was very rude of us, also I've never been called a prep before, is that some kind of a bird?" Luna said, twittering in fact much like a bird as she inspected the newest apparent addition to Default with a cocked head, "My name's Luna Lovegood, and sitting across from you is comrade Lenin Rabbitson, next to you is our resident realist and cynic Hermione Granger, Blaise the quidditch expert, Daphne the beautiful one, Lepur Rabbitson the nameless demon from the void beyond existence, and finally our glorious leader in the battle for existence, Eleanor Lily Potter. What's yours?"
The girl sniffed, but no longer seemed quite so offended, and replied, "My name is Enoby Darkness Dementia Raven Way, and as you can probably tell I'm a goff."
"You don't say?" Was Wizard Lenin's dry, raised eyebrows, response to this.
"I'm also a Satanist."
This however, had Hermione spewing her oatmeal across the table. After choking on her food for a few moments, Hermione offered her first comment of the day, "Ellie, I'll accept the Albanian communists and demons, I don't think I can handle a Satanist."
"I'm serious guys, this isn't mine!" Lily said, but as with the Chamber of Secrets it seemed as if no one was quite willing to believe her.
And, almost unwillingly, Lily noticed the pale blue color of the girl's eyes. A color that was almost reminiscent of Wizard Lenin's, a thought Lily didn't want to have inside of her head. Because they had never considered the possibility that Wizard Lenin's bastard daughter, who Wizard Lenin was so undyingly ashamed of that he never once mentioned her, would be the one to unleash the basilisk in the school instead of Wizard Lenin's other half.
"Right, so some vampire witch, just shows up in the middle of the year, while there's a murder investigation going on, and it's not your fault? Let me guess, she's also from Albania, isn't she?"
Lily was about to respond that, no, it wasn't her fault at all, but out of absolutely nowhere, well, apparently from the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy had appeared. Or at least, Lily thought it was Draco Malfoy, it certainly looked like him. Well, if he'd turned his eyes red for whatever reason and started wearing loose baggy pants with chains, which also did not match the Hogwarts uniform.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi," Ebony replied flirtatiously, her red eye shadow doing wonders to accentuate the pale blue of her eyes.
"What?" Ebony asked.
"Good Charlotte is having a concert in Hogsmede," he told me.
"Oh, my, fucking, god!" Ebony screamed in delight, standing and shaking the table as she did so, "I love GC, they are my favorite band, besides MCR."
"What the hell is a GC?" Wizard Lenin asked Lily, his reference to all things in popular culture, but frankly Lily had no idea either. It didn't seem to matter though to New Draco and Ebony, in fact, from their expressions it looked like Christmas had come both murder free and early to Hogwarts.
"Well, do you want to go wif me?" Draco asked, much to the shocked horror of the Default table.
END OF CHAPTER
(Lily turned to her Default peers, they turned to Lily, and Lily proclaimed, "I believe, comrades, that the universe could very well be destroying itself as we speak."
For once, no one disagreed.)
AN: Is it gut? Plez tell me, fangs. I won't continue without 10 good reviows!
Author's Note: Love it, hate it, want more of it, you're getting more of it. At any rate like I said I'm transferring this over from "The Wonderful World of Fanfiction" over to here, just because it really does deserve it's own slot. Now, the disclaimers.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or the original fic My Immortal, or any of the characters contained there in.