Hell Hath No Fury - By Darlin'

Summary: Constant repeats of X-Men the movie on cable may be too much for Storm and Rogue to handle especially with previews of X-Men 2 out. Wolverine tries to stay out of it but even he has to admit he can't stand the way he was portrayed in the movie. Those who may love and adore Jean are forewarned that there is just a tiny bit of Jean bashing.

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, an' everyone knows Marvel and now Twentieth Century Fox do.

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Chapter One: Time to Cancel Cable


Logan dropped down on the couch beside Ororo and reached for the remote trying to ignore her as completely as a man could ignore a woman.

"I said ugh and you heard me, Logan!" Ororo couldn't help but laugh as she poked him in the ribs.

"I know, I know but I don't wanna know what's got yer goat today," Logan said as he turned on the TV.

Ororo watched Logan as he stared at the screen and let out a loud feral growl.

"Don't they ever stop re-runnin' that stupid movie?" He switched channels without looking at Ororo.

"Logan, it's worse than we thought."

Logan sighed, glanced at Ororo briefly then continued channel surfing.

"Logan, you're ignoring me!"


Ororo put her hand on his knee and shot a little bolt of electricity into his adamantium bones. She smiled sweetly as he leapt up and glared at her.

"Darlin', you do that again an' I'm gonna have ta teach you a lesson!"

Ororo smiled at him as he settled back down on the couch with her.

"Okay, darlin' I give, what's up?"

"X-Men Two, the second movie has previews out, honey bear."

"I told ya not ta call me that, honey bunny," Logan growled and flashed his rakish smile.

"It got your attention at least," Ororo said.

"Undivided. Go on."

"As I was saying the second movie is coming out, the sequel, the . . ."

"Can't you just put it outta yer mind, darlin'?"

Ororo took the remote from him and switched the channel back to the infamous movie. Reluctantly and yet quite transfixed, they both stared at the television as Logan comforted poor young Rogue, her head, sans skunk stripe, on his shoulder.

"Sweetheart, ya gotta turn the channel," Logan growled.

"Ya got that right, sugah!"

Ororo and Logan looked up to see Rogue standing in the doorway with a very angry scowl on her pretty face. The pair gave each other a mutual look of dread. Rogue snatched the remote from Ororo and turned the TV off.

"If ah have ta watch that hogwash one mo' minute ah am gonna puke!"

Logan tried not to laugh as he got up from the couch.

"An' where do ya think yer goin', Wolvie? I ain't even got started yet!"

"I know. That's why I'm outta here. You commin', 'Roro?"

"Ororo ain't goin' no where, shorty an' you sit down! Ah got an' idea!"

"Oh brother!" Logan moaned as he sunk back onto the couch.

"Ororo, we gotta find the imbeciles who keep making this garbage! They made me a stupid kid with no sense whatsoever an' ah'm goin' ta school with children fer cryin' out loud! An' Mystique ain't even mentioned as bein' mah foster mother! An' have y'all seen the previews for the second movie? It just makes me wanna scream!"

Ororo looked at Logan with an 'I told you so' look and Logan rolled his eyes.

"The way they had me be in love with Wolvie still makes mah skin crawl, no offense to you, sugah."

"None taken."

"It was a crush, Rogue," Ororo clarified.

"Crush my big fat a. . ."

"Watch yer mouth, swamp rat," Logan warned as Jubilee and Kitty came into the room.

"Whatcha talkin' about?" Jubilee asked.

"I'm not a child any more so you don't have to watch your language around me, Rogue," Kitty said as she made her way over to the couch where Logan and Ororo were sitting quite comfortably by themselves.

"Hey, I'm not a child either, Cat," Jubilee shouted as she leapt over the back of the couch and landed beside Logan.

"Look, you two shut up an' sit down or get out," Logan mumbled, ignoring Jubilee.

"Well what's got your panties in a twist, Wolvie?" Jubilee asked as she popped a piece of bubble gum into her mouth.

"Same ol' same ol'," Logan growled. "Think it's time fer a danger room session," he added as he again tried to get up.

Jubilee threw both legs over Logan and winked at him.

"It's that dang blasted movie!" Rogue said as she turned the TV back on for all to see.

"Oh sh. . ." Logan smacked himself on the forehead as he stopped himself from letting out a spew of foul words.

"Shitake mushrooms?" Kitty suggested with laugh.

"I am not some baby that you have to watch your language around!" Jubilee yelled.

Everyone else was staring at the TV screen as if they were hypnotized. Storm was being held up by her throat by Sabertooth at the train station, her eyes were turning completely white. Wolverine knew they were in for it now. Ororo hadn't taken the portrayal of her in the movie well at all. It was pretty embarrassing for Logan to see how confused, weak and stupid his character was, in his opinion, but Ororo seemed to see red whenever she saw herself portrayed on the screen. He had to admit the lady who played Storm was beautiful although the wig was different and at least Storm got to take out Sabertooth.

"Alright, already! Turn the blasted thing off!" Logan reached for the remote hoping to derail any complaining from Ororo.

"Turn it off right now!" Ororo stood up, grabbing the remote before Logan could. Her eyes were flashing fury and rage. She was not in a mood to argue. "I am so tired of seeing me-me! Me being treated like a piece of meat in that villain's hands! And if they could not at least give me a better part could they have at least given me lines that were not so foolish and weak?"

"Oh brother," Logan groaned yet again.

"Like, what's wrong with your part, huh?" Jubilee asked. "You look good and you kicked Sabes as. . ."

"Jubilee!" Everyone turned on the girl.

"Watch yer mouth, kid or I'll wash it out with somethin' more 'n soap," Logan warned.

"We really are a bad influence on her I guess," Kitty said.

"You better not let me find you've been a bad influence on anyone, Kitty," Logan said sharply.

"'Ro, you're with me, right?" Rogue asked as she leapt up on top of the coffee table. "We gotta find these punks an' make 'em pay but good!"

"How would you find them?" Ororo asked then she turned to Kitty. "Kitten, you are a computer expert, you could find them! Or Sage could! "

"'Ro, I can't believe yer goin' along with Rogue. The movie's been out fer more 'n a year an' there ain't nothin' we can do about it 'cept ferget it," Logan said.

"Puh-lease! That ain't the Wolvie ah know an' love!" Rogue snapped.

"Don't be funnin', girl or yer gonna get a crush alright, more like a good crushin'," Logan thrust an arm out in her direction showing his claws.

"That ain't funny, Logan. We gotta stick together here!"

"I don't know what you guys are so upset about," Kitty said from her seat in one of the two lazy boys.

"Well, Kitty, little ol' Miss perfect who walks through walls an' is just as ya usually are in the movie, except maybe a litter nerdier an' with shorter hair, why should you be upset? You weren't the one they took an' messed up so bad that if they didn't call that actress Rogue ya wouldn't even know who the hel-who the heck Marie was supposed ta be!"

"I must agree with Rogue, Kitten. You were perfectly fine in the movie though not as pretty," Ororo said.

"Hey, what about me?" Jubilee asked. "Like, I didn't even have a part 'cause they gave my part to Marie! Hullo! I'm Wolvie's sidekick not Rogue!"

"You go girl!" Rogue cheered Jubes on.

"Correction, Jubilee, both of us were his sidekicks at one time or another," Kitty said.

"I gotta get outta here, Jubilee get off me," Logan growled.

"I say we find these people an' make 'em pay y'all!" Rogue yelled from her soapbox. "Kitty get on the computer an' start lookin' up these guys!"

"I don't know about that," Kitty said. "I don't think the professor would approve."

"'And just how do ya think he's gonna find out, Kitty, huh?" Rogue asked as she jumped off the coffee table and stood in front of Kitty, arms akimbo.

"Perhaps we could simply put a little fear in them. Wolverine fear that is," Ororo smiled as if she could see her vengeance plans coming to fruition in her mind.

"Darlin' you ain't thinkin' clearly. Yer listenin' ta the swamp rat rantin' an' getting' carried away!" Logan said.

"You think?" Ororo asked as she turned flashing eyes on him. "Sooooo, did you enjoy the scenes with you and Doctor Jean Grey? Did you? Well, did you, Logan dear? And did you enjoy the way that reptilian Mystique . . . "

"Now wait a minute!" Logan threw Jubilees legs off him and jumped up. "There's no way Mystique could ever make me break a sweat! That was a bunch of sh. . ."

"Shitake mushrooms," Rogue, Kitty, Jubilee and Ororo all chimed in together.

"Friggin', stupid movie," Logan was growling again.

"So, are ya in or not, Wolvie?" Rogue asked with a mean squint. "Or would ya like ta watch the good doctor takin' care of ya an' makin' ya act all weak an' . . ."

All six of Logan's claws were fully extended now as he crouched low and turned around in a slow circle looking at each of the women in the room.

"Let's get this straight, girls," Logan said very quietly. "You wanna kill 'em then kill 'em but leave me outta it."

"Ah think we mighta hit a sore spot," Rogue said after Logan had left the room.

"Perhaps," Ororo said sadly. "We all know that Logan did care very much for Jean . . ."

"Care? Sugah, he was in love with the good doctor!"

Ororo frowned. "He was in love with Jean once, Rogue but he is over that now."

"Yeah, right."

"Jean and Scott's problems seem to have made him realize it would never have worked between him and Jean," Ororo said with satisfaction. "Jean loves Scott very much even though she may have cared for Logan and even felt an attraction to him. He is, after all, a very hard man not to be attracted to."

"Yeah, ah've seen you eyeballin' him quite a lot since he helped you recover from yer back injuries," Rogue laughed.

Jubilee nodded as she remembered seeing the same thing and more. She'd seen them kissing since the very first day she sneaked into the X-Men's life almost. "I think he has a crush on you, Storm," she admitted.

"No, he does not have a crush on me," Ororo laughed. She felt a little uncomfortable discussing Logan with them knowing they weren't too far from the truth.

"Doctor Jean Grey," Rogue spat. "Where'd they come up with that bunch of nonsense?"

The girls shared a laugh and even Ororo joined in.

"She probably didn't even graduate from high school since she was here with the professor since she was a child," Kitty said. "I mean, I like Jean and I don't have anything against her at all but she might not even have a GED. Do you know if she has one, Ororo?"

Rogue fell on the couch in a fit of laughter causing Jubilee to scoot out of her way.

"Kitty, I never thought to ask but I do not think any of us care about that. I was a thief and a poor orphaned ragamuffin. My own education was far less than hers was."

"So we were all ragamuffins one time or another, anyway except fer the regal, perfectly perfect in every way an' everyone's favorite sweetheart, Doctor Jean Grey!" Rogue said none to pleasantly.

"Did I hear someone calling me?"

The girls all looked up to see Jean looking at them from the doorway and she wasn't looking pleased.