A/N -Thank you very much to all whom took the time to read and especially to all whom were kind enough to review. DevDev, glad you thought chapter one was funny. I read your story "Something to Sleep To" and liked it so much I put it in my favorites. Really good story, very powerful. Wolviesfan, I will try to update "Will You Have Me" this week. Thanks for being interested in it and making me start on it again! Anon, I borrowed the line Shitake mushrooms from the funny Spy Kids movie, the first one. Coral Skipper, I think your evolution idea is very, very good. I could just see them freaking over the insipidness of that show! Skyz you're quite perceptive, glad you liked it. J.Dax, I can't believe you haven't seen the movie yet! Wow! I must agree that Rogue and Logan together is beyond terrible. Darksensations, I haven't seen that movie but am curious how there might be similarities! And Cris-X, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this and your wish is my command, here's chapter two!

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Chapter Two: Justice Served Up Good 'n Hot

"Jean, we were discussing the X-Men movie, not making fun of you," Ororo said softly.

"Aaarrggghhhh!" Jean screamed, her hands pulling at her hair. "I am so sick of that movie I wish I could destroy every TV in the mansion!"

"It's not, like, that bad," Jubilee offered.

"You don't think so, Jubilation? Huh?"

Jubilee shrugged and blew a large bubble. Kitty leaned over and stuck a finger in the bubble causing it to burst all over Jube's face.

"Stop it you two!" Rogue snapped. "This ain't time fer games y'all! This is serious business an' Jean you should be with us. Ah got a plan! We're gonna find out who made this f-friggin' movie an' throw a can of Wolverine whup a-er, ah-ah mean get 'em real good."

"Yeah! Let's make 'em sorry they didn't give me any lines!" Jubilee shook her head in agreement, pulling gum from her face as she spoke.

"They made me a brown eyed, dialogue deprived, weakling with an absolutely horrid wig!" Ororo moaned. "Kitty, to the computer now!"

Kitty jumped up obediently and hurried over to the computer.

"Look, girls, don't tell Scott."

Everyone looked at Jean as if she had just turned into Dark Phoenix again.

"Girl, puh-lease! We ain't that stupid!" Rogue said with a roll of her eyes and then she laughed. "If any of us was right on the mark in that movie though it sure was yer husband."

Everyone broke out in laughter even Jean who could hardly deny the truth of Rogue's statement.

"But I will say this much and I think the cat will agree with me on this," Jubilee got up from the couch and looked over Kitty's shoulder. "That Hugh Jackman was the hottest I've ever seen Wolvie look."

Kitty giggled. "Yep."

"He was definitely hot," Jean admitted. "But I think that was one of the problems with the movie and why Scott hates it. And it makes me seem like I'm a little indecisive or flirty or leading Wolverine on," Jean fell silent as she thought about her husband's dalliance with the White Queen. Even though it was a mental dalliance she still resented his actions beyond words.

"Maybe that's why he's so dis . . ." Jean's voice faded as she realized she was talking out loud. Then she smiled brightly and said, "But the professor was certainly sexy! That full chest of hair, the cleft in his chin, that alluring voice and that sexy bald head--mmmm!"

Everyone looked at Jean for a moment and then Rogue laughed.

"Girl, what were you smokin' when you watched that movie?"

"Oh no," Kitty interjected. "I have to agree with Jean. He was that guy from Star Trek the Next Generation and he was kind of sexy."

"Jean Luc Picard!" Jubilee said. "Yeah, he was pretty hot for an old guy. And I kinda thought the toad was sexy in a weird kinda way, like freaky, funny kinda way."

"The Toad?" Ororo asked.

"He did have a nice bod an' ya did get ta fry him pretty good, Ororo," Rogue said.

"That was after I took a beating from that little toad! The Toad! Of all the villains they could have chosen they had to have the Toad beat me up!" Ororo's face flashed from anger to disgust as she thought about those scenes.

"Well at least you were able to take him out, Ororo," Jean said. "He shot that gook all over my face and I had to be saved by my husband-boyfriend- Scott-whatever he was supposed to be in the movie to me."

"I hate that movie!" Ororo growled.

"I think, like, someone's been spending too much time with Wolverine," Jubilee whispered to Kitty who was doing a search on the computer.

"I wonder how they found so much information on us anyway," Kitty asked absently.

"Just find 'em so ah can rip out their eyeballs and feed 'em ta Sabertooth," Rogue said ferociously. "Hey, that ain't a bad idea!"

"Fitting poetic justice I'd say," Kitty agreed.

"It was kind of nice that I was so important though," Jean said wistfully.

Ororo reached for a pillow on the couch and smacked her friend hard in the head with it.

"Ow! That hurt, Ororo!"

"It was supposed to. That movie made a mockery of our lives!"

"Ya know, maybe Magneto was behind it cause it kinda made him seem like the good guy ya know? Although he did have a dorky outfit an' he wasn't hot like-ah mean, as good lookin' as. . . Well, ah mean, we got ta see how he was incarcerated just 'cause he was Jewish an' how that made him what he was or is today an' ya kinda felt sorry for him. Poor Joseph-ah mean Magneto."

"Please do not get started on Magneto again, Rogue," Ororo said as she started for the door.

"An' where're you goin', sugah?"

"To the danger room."

"Ah bet you ain't goin' ta the danger room! Ah bet yer gonna find them yerself!"

"No, Rogue. I am sick to death of this conversation and I am going to work off my excessive anger with Wolverine."

Rogue covered her mouth as she laughed. "That ain't all ah bet y'all are gonna be workin'."

"Rogue!" Jean and Ororo both shouted at once.

Jean and Ororo looked at each other for a moment both of them frowning. Jubilee and Kitty looked at each other and Rogue, biting her lip anxiously, looked at Jean then at Ororo.

"Good, I see ya finally settled down," Logan said as he entered the room with an armful of beverages. He handed a beer to Rogue, tossed a Jack Daniels cooler at Jean, gave a bottle of green tea to Ororo then handed sodas to Jubilee and Kitty.

"Thank you, Logan," Jean said with a smile.

Rogue rolled her eyes yet again and Jubilee and Kitty turned back to the computer.

"I've given this movie a whole lot of thought," Logan said.

"Do tell," Rogue said.

"Cut the sarcasm, Mississippi."

"So are ya in or what, Canuck?"

Logan shook his head. "We can't just go ta Hollywood an' kill a few producers an' actors or whatever you girls have in mind. Even a horse head in their beds or somethin' like that wouldn't be the X-Men's style so. . ."

"Okay, ah see where yer goin' here-the great Wolverine thinks we oughta TP their houses is that it? You goin' soft or what, Wolvie?"

Jubilee and Kitty were both ready to leave the room now and through a mutually whispered agreement Kitty took hold of Jubilee's hand and the two of them sunk into the floor as she immaterialized them.

"Chickens," Ororo muttered as she sipped her drink and watched the two disappear.

"Personally I think the movie was not that bad," Jean said. "And further more I believe we should give the second movie a fair chance, after all the previews look exciting."

Ororo and Logan looked at each other both trying not to laugh. Rogue looked as if she was ready to thrash Jean right then and there but she just mumbled something under her breath and took a long drink of her beer. Logan downed his beer quickly and looking at Ororo he nodded at the door.

"Well, anyone up for a movie?" Jean asked as she made herself comfortable on the couch. "Logan, here," she held the remote out to him and patted the spot beside her invitingly.

"Naw, I think Rogue, me an' 'Ro are gonna go ta Wal Mart an' see if we can buy up all the Charmin we can find," Logan said as he left the room.

Ororo smiled and quickly followed Logan. Rogue, still muttering under her breath, tossed her beer in the trash and hurried after the two.

"What? Are ya serious, Logan?" Rogue asked.

Logan shook his head and snorted.

"Rogue, perhaps you can find Kitty and make sure she finds out who and where these people are," Ororo suggested.

Rogue frowned. "Ah don't know, Ororo. Maybe Wolvie's right. An' maybe Jean's right too. Maybe we oughta wait a bit."

"Personally I will be fine as long as I never have to see the movie again," Ororo said.

"Yer wish is my command, boss," Logan said and his claws flashed as they slid out. "I'll just slice an' dice all the TV's in the place, either that or cancel cable."

Ororo laughed and Rogue chuckled.

"We can't kill 'em, we can't TP 'em, we can't kill the TV's an' ah don't wanna live without cable! Shoot, life's a b. . ."

"Bummer?" Kitty supplied as she emerged from a wall with Jubilee.

"Ah gotta kill somethin'!" Rogue yelled then started towards the elevator. "Ah'm gonna kill all the CEO robots we got left an' maybe a Jean clone ta boot!"

"Here, here!" Kitty cheered.

"I second that. Like, I thought Rogue was really gonna lose it there for a minute," Jubilee said.

"You thought Rogue was gonna lose it? Sheesh!" Logan laughed. "Rogue wasn't the one you had to worry about."

"Whaddaya mean?" Jubilee asked.

"Ororo was ready to electrocute Jeanie there fer a minute weren't ya, darlin'?"

Ororo frowned as Logan laughed at her but his laughter was short lived when Ororo threw a small lightning bolt in his direction.

"Ow, that hurt, Ororo!" Logan squealed in a poor imitation of Jean earlier.

"That is not funny."

"Okay, gang I did find out who made the movie-both movies to be exact," Kitty said excitedly.

"Aw, Kitty, couldn't ya leave well enough alone? Now yer just gonna encourage them."

"Well, Kitten, what did you find out? Do any of them live nearby perhaps?" Ororo asked.

"Ororo, you ain't gonna go kick-hurt anyone, darlin'," Logan said very seriously. "It's just a movie. Kitty why don't you an' Jubilee go watch somethin' with Jeanie?" he jerked his head back towards the TV room indicating that they needed to leave him and Ororo alone.

"Logan, it is as bad as you think it is and as horribly out of character as Rogue thinks it is and it makes us all crazy. Sometimes you have to . . . kill the beast."

"You don't believe that, honey bunny."

"Do not call me that," Ororo said but smiled in spite of herself.

"Come here," Logan held his arms out and Ororo leaned down into his embrace.

"Well, honey bear one thing about Wolverine in the movie, he certainly was a lot taller than you," Ororo laughed.

"Grrrrrrrrrrr!" Logan growled and pushed Ororo away. "I'm gonna kill 'em! I'm gonna kill 'em all! She better save me a few of them CEO's!" He yelled as he ran down the hall.

"Oops," Ororo smiled innocently. "Now that's more like the Wolverine I know and love."


Later that evening it seemed as if the girls had finally settled down. They were gathered with some of the men relaxing in the TV room. Rogue was curled up with Gambit in one of the two lazy boys; Jean and Scott were on the love seat although not sitting terribly close; Jubilee and Kitty were sitting on either side of Wolverine on the couch; Bishop was sitting-dozing in the other lazy boy; the Beast was hanging from some rings he had installed in the ceiling and Ororo was rocking in the rocker near the computer sipping a cup of tea. They were watching an old black and white romance that had Logan ready to leave or fall asleep. Just as he was deciding which it would be the movie was interrupted.

"We're interrupting this program to inform you that several important Hollywood producers and directors have been attacked. I repeat there has been an attack on at least two known Hollywood wheelers and dealers. Tonight their houses were struck by a series of lightning bolts in a freak storm. Their houses are engulfed in flames even as I speak. Fortunately no one has been injured. Witnesses say they owe their lives to an African American woman who apparently saw the fire before it became out of control and warned the occupants who escaped unscathed. The fires are still raging at this moment. The good samaritan was quite distinctive in looks with wh. . . ."

Logan jumped up and turned the channel hoping he hadn't heard what he thought he'd heard and that no one else had paid any attention to it.

"It was Storm! Storm I tell you! She flew over us and set my house on fire with her lightning and she laughed at us!" The television blared.

"It appears that the fire that destroyed his multi million dollar home may have left him a little off balanced but he was admitted to the psychiatric ward for observation. Now returning you to your regularly scheduled program."

"Stars and garters!" Beast did a back flip and landed close to the TV.

The girls were looking at Ororo who was looking at the screen, her mouth wide.

"Dat was weird," Remy said.

"Indeed," Bishop muttered sleepily.

"Ah wouldn't say weird," Rogue murmured. "Maybe justice served up good 'n hot!"

"Natural acts of God would indeed seem like justice, Rogue, however, where it strikes is purely random with no planned thought and I doubt it is wrought with vengeance in mind," Hank said thoughtfully.

"I bet it was a publicity stunt for that movie. Just another way for them to get people interested in the sequel," Scott said.

"Could be," Kitty said with a look at Ororo.

"What?" Ororo asked Kitty.


"Um, 'Roro, I need ta talk to you fer a minute," Logan said.

Everyone looked at Logan who pulled Ororo up from the rocker.

"Certainly, Logan. We can talk while I draw a hot bath," Ororo said politely.

Everyone watched as Ororo and Logan left the room.

"Is it me or did we just miss something?" Scott asked.

Jean threw a pillow at him.

"Ow! Gee, Jean, that hurt!"

"It was supposed to!" She muttered.

Ororo was chuckling to herself as she soaked in her oversized sunken tub in the attic. Logan was sitting on the commode watching her in the flickering candlelight.

"I think you been haingin' around me too much, sweetheart."

"Do you? And why would you say that, husband dear?"

"Well, wife dear I think you just took out two of those guy's houses an' you don't seem ta think there's anything wrong with that."

Ororo's eyes grew wide but she said nothing.

"Am I wrong, darlin'?"

"I had no idea they would put it on the news but it was better than TPing their houses as you suggested and certainly better than letting Rogue tear their heads off."

"But that ain't like you, darlin'."

"They will suffer worse if I am made to look as foolish and weak in the second movie," Ororo assured him, her eyes flashing with righteous anger. "Besides, honey bear no one was hurt. I made sure of that."

"Well hopefully no one's gonna figger it was really you who did the damage. Maybe they'll just believe Cyke's theory," Logan laughed.

Ororo shrugged and said, "Hell hath no fury like a woman who is dialogue deprived."

Logan laughed as he stripped down and slipped into the tub with her.

"Let me see if I can fix some of that deprivation, honey bun," he said with a grin.

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A/N - I have mixed feelings about the upcoming movie but I have loved the motley gang of X-Men since '78 so I will probably see it the first week it's out. I'm thinking there will be another chapter to this story once I see it but we'll see. I guess movies are like fan fiction and anyone can do pretty much whatever you want with our beloved character whether we like it or not. Don't know if that's good or bad but anyway I hoped you enjoyed my little story. Do please review, reviews are always nice and thanks for reading.