Chapter 14: Collateral Damage
Bureau 13…later that evening
Nick had been checked into the Med-bay and was being given IV fluids and nutrients to help him recover from his ordeal, his physical injuries had been tended to by surgeons and doctors, his psychological ones were another matter entirely. He was relieved to just be back away from Sidney, he laid back onto the reclined head of the hospital bed and was relaxed staring off into nothing, trying to cope with the events. Judy by his side holding his paw.
"Hey, Nick." She said with a sense of relief and calmness she hadn't felt since his abduction.
The fox turned his head slightly looking her over with his emerald eye. The moment he caught a glimpse of her, he smiled, then a sudden flinch in his muzzle as a horrible memory flashed by, then back.
"What wrong?" the rabbit asked catching his sudden shift in expression.
Nick didn't answer, just kept looking at her, as if trying to hold onto something.
"Nick. Talk to me." She nudged.
Nick gave it a few more seconds before he finally answered "They lied to me, Carrots. They led me to believe that all of you were dead, Kaiden, Kit…. You."
"They uh, did things to me," Nick admitted with hesitation.
Nick's words hit Judy, she lightly gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut before opening them back up with a sullen look on her muzzle.
"I am so…." She started to apologize.
Nick interrupted her. "….No, Carrots, please, don't blame yourself… I don't. You don't need to apologize."
Judy understood what Nick was trying to do, let her off the hook. His kindness and generosity were one of the things she found most endearing about the fox, but this time, it only made her feel even more guilty. She blamed herself for Nick's condition, had she kept her eyes on the road, they wouldn't have crashed. She had barely slept since his abduction and would almost feel more at ease if he yelled at her and blamed her. But she knew that wasn't something he would do
"I know you don't, but still I wish we would have found you sooner. I wish I would have…."
"Carrots…Judy" Nick, moved his paw to grasp hers.
There was a sudden knock at the door of his room, it was one of the nurses who worked for the Bureau
"Mr. Wilde, if you're feeling up to it, would you be feeling up to having a few visitors." The cheetah nurse asked.
"Yeah, I can." He replied.
Kaiden and Kit entered the room, followed by Bogo and Finnick. They gathered around the foot of the bed. They were glad that Nick had been returned in one piece, at least physically, and offered their word of support.
"Well Wilde, looks like they couldn't keep a good fox down. I knew recruiting you was a good idea." Bogo started offering kind and at least, in his mind, inspirational words.
Finnick moved a nearby stool to the side of Nick's bed, opposite Judy and climbed up on it. The Fennec plopped down on the chair.
"Hey bro, how you feeling?" asked Finnick
"I've been better."
Finnick offered a fist for Nick to bump, who returned it after a fashion.
"Keeping out of trouble?" Nick asked with a smirk.
"Yeah. Surprisingly I'm having to babysit this buffalo over here, keep him from chargin' in and getting' himself killed."
Bogo turned his head in puzzlement and looked down at the Fennec "I don't need any help, thank you very much." The buffalo replied almost pridefully.
"Oh yeah, then why is it I got to be watchin' your back? You remember when we met right?"
Bogo was about to reply when he stopped just as he opened his mouth, and then changed his demeanor.
"Touche'"
"Mhmm." Finnick muttered.
Nick chuckled at the pair and the unlikely duo that events seemed to have driven them together as.
"You two are literally the last two I'd expect to be watching each other's backs."
"Leave it to an absolute catastrophe to manage that." Kit chimed in.
Kit grabbed and softly rocked one of Nick's feet. "Hey Nick, you um, you did alright."
"I didn't tell them anything," Nick said confidently.
"Yeah….Thank you for that. I know this uh, isn't your fight, but you held on, so thank you." The blonde wolf complimented
"Oh it's my fight now, I've got a bone to pick with Sidney."
That was when Kaiden, who had been silent the whole time, simply observing the interaction between everyone finally chimed in.
"Yeah about that."
Nick looked at Kaiden "Let me guess, you want to go over it?"
"Among other things," the cyber fox replied, giving a steely-eyed nod at Nick.
Nick noticed that Kaiden had a file folder in his paws and in his folded arms held it with the label facing outward and subtly tapped it against his chest. The file said "Nicholas Wilde, Medical Report."
Nick managed to put two and two together and got the fox's insinuation, Kaiden suspected something else beyond what Nick initially reported when they brought him in.
"Could we uh, talk about this in private?"
"I think that would be wise," Kaiden replied, again laying a subtle expression of knowing more than he was saying.
Kaiden glanced at Kit and gave him a nod, which Kit picked up on and turned to the group.
"Hey mammals, let's leave Nick and Kaiden to discuss a few things shall we." Kit requested as he gestured his paw toward the door.
Finick, Bogo, and Kit were walking out when Nick turned to Judy and looked at her worried about what he was about to ask.
"Hey, Judy, can you do me a favor and uh….. go with them?"
Judy's expression turned to one of shock. "What?"
"Please?"
"Nick you can't expect me to not"
"I promise I'll tell you…. When I'm ready to. Please" Nick pleaded.
Judy's face had sunk, her nose twitched in reaction. She wanted to know, and she didn't understand why he didn't want her to know. She took a deep breath to steady her emotions.
"Okay, Nick." She replied as she stood up to leave the two foxes to discuss.
She walked out the door, letting the weight of the door slowly swing it closed behind her. Kaiden turned back to Nick who sat up in his bed to address the larger fox. Kaiden stepped forward and stood right at the foot of the bed.
"They did more than just torture you, didn't they?" Kaiden started.
"Yeah, you could say that," Nick replied with a slight huff.
"What did they do?"
"Why don't you just tell me what's in that file you have," Nick replied nodding at the file folder in the fox's hand.
"Okay," Kaiden uncrossed his arms and opened the file.
"Let me read to you what the doctors found."
"They found evidence of blunt force drama, barotrauma in the lungs consistent with asphyxiation, lacerations, and burns of both heat-induced and cold-induced. Malnutrition, dehydration, trauma around the neck and windpipe consistent with strangulation, that they believe was self-induced due to the angle."
Nick winced at the last part of Kaiden's listing of the findings. Kaiden picked up on this and looked down at the report then back up at Nick and looked as though he realized something.
"I take it that was your attempt to, 'get yourself out'?"
Nick offered a half-hearted single laugh, "Heh, I mean given the conditions, wouldn't you?"
Kaiden glanced back at the file then back at Nick, "Point taken. Honestly, that's not what concerns me, I mean I get it."
Kaiden spun the file around and pointed at one of the line items on the blood test results.
"This, however, does."
Nick looked at the line item he was pointing at, which said "Presence of: Midnicampum Holicithias Toxicity, anomalous reading, non-organic compounds of unknown origin detected."
"That is a very specific reading, hell we didn't even test for it until you two figured it out. So… how?" Kaiden asked completely puzzled.
Nick sighed as if calling up a horrible memory, he started to visibly tremble just thinking of it. Kaiden saw this and pressed.
"What did they do to you, Nick?" Kaiden's mannerisms becoming more concerned and less about the information.
"Sidney happened."
"He injected me with Night howlers, some special cocktail they cooked up. Something that would allow me to remember everything."
"And I mean….everything." Nick finished his jaw trembling.
"Why?" the cyber fox asked in almost a whisper, trying to keep himself from reliving his own horrors.
"Because he wanted me to kill Judy. He even went so far as to find someone that looked exactly like her, and even made the place where I did it, look exactly like the natural history museum exhibit where she and I outsmarted Bellwether."
"In my mind, it was Judy, with these paws, I killed my Judy" Nick's started sobbing.
Nick sobbed quietly, with only his panting breath, and the occasional sniffle breaking the silence of the room. It took him several minutes before he regained enough of his composure to keep going.
"They lied to me, and I didn't know that you were alive, or that I didn't do what I thought I did to her until I came out of that elevator."
"You didn't kill Judy, Nick."
"Doesn't matter, I killed someone, I was driven savage and I killed someone. And I'm going to have to try and find a way to live with that."
"You're not a monster," Kaiden stated.
Nick's eyes snapped to the cyberfox "How did you know what I was thinking?"
"Because I thought the same thing when I killed my first innocent animal. I was made to do it as well, as a test, a graduation."
"That a piece of your story?"
"Yeah. But that's a story for another time."
"I don't know what to tell you, Nick. Yeah, this is going to haunt you, because that's exactly what the council does, they carve the best pieces out of you."
Kaiden turned to leave with the folder in his hands and opened the door, he suddenly felt a small breeze as if something passed him, and the feint smell of ozone from ions in the air.
"Shit" he muttered closing his eyes at the sudden realization knowing instantly what it was. A young resourceful rabbit with her newly gained cloaking device.
Kaiden suddenly realized, that when Judy left, she only pulled on the door to start its natural swing to close albeit slowly, which would give her enough time, to step out, use the device, and walk back in before the door shut and listen in on their entire conversation.
Kaiden spun around and looked at Nick and sighed.
"I need to talk to Judy, like right now."
Later…
Nick changed into his B13 uniform and searched for Judy. He searched around, checking the operations center, and the cafeteria, and eventually checked her quarters. He knocked on the door, at first, he was about to walk away but could hear an occasional loud sniff, someone was definitely inside.
Nick stepped into the room and saw Judy sitting at the edge of the bed, sobbing quietly, her head couched in her paws.
"Judy, are you alright?" Nick asked.
Judy didn't reply, she just continued to sniffle.
Nick came over to Judy and sat next to her.
"Judy, look at me, you can tell me."
"I can't look at you." She said
"Why not" he asked
"I overheard you and Kaiden, I heard about what happened to you." She explained
Nick's worst fears seemed to come true, that Judy didn't want to look at him because she couldn't stand the sight of him now. What he did, he felt horrible, the fact that she sees him as the monster now only made him feel worse. His heart sank, and he tightened his eyes to try not to tear up, they flowed anyway.
"I understand, I'm sorry Judy, I won't bother you anymore." He said downtrodden.
Nick stood up to leave, and Judy pulled him back down.
"Why are you apologizing?" she asked.
"You're reacting this way because of what I did to the rabbit….I know, and maybe I fooled myself into thinking I could be something I'm not. I'm a monster," he replied.
"Nick." She said, jumping up and cradling his head.
"None of this is your fault. You didn't deserve any of this" She replied petting him softly, her eyes starting to water.
"If anyone is the monster, I am, I'm the one who couldn't leave well enough alone."
"It's my fault that this happened to you."
"I pulled you into this because of that stupid flash drive."
"I always have to be the good bunny and I always have to try and make the world better."
"I didn't realize that what I was doing could hurt the person I care about the most."
"And when I lost you, it tore me up inside."
"I took that anger and threw it into finding you."
"I hurt so many mammals, I've killed…..so many mammals."
"Because I didn't want to face the possibility…"
"That I lost you, and that you were in pain."
"And it was all because of me….." the rabbit's tears began to fall.
Judy broke down and sobbed into Nick's shoulder.
"I am so sorry, I'm sorry, I wasn't there for you." She trembled.
"I love you so much, and I wasn't there when you needed me. How can you put up with a person like me?"
Nick pulled back and looked Judy in the face, the fur around her eyes soaked with tears. The fox used the thumbs on his paws to dry the tears
"Because I love you. I've always loved you."
"I survived this because of you. It was you who gave me the strength to live." consoled Nick, echoing Kaiden's words.
Nick grabbed Judy's paw and intertwined his fingers in hers. They stared at each other for a moment, they could see each other's pain and anguish, they had both suffered greatly, physical pain is transitory, but the separation, the loneliness in the dark, that more than anything injured them, for that injures the soul.
Judy leaned forward and kissed him passionately on the lips. Nick wrapped his arms around her and took a breath of her. Slowly she used her weight to push him back onto the bed. She laid on top of him and leaned over, whispering into his ear.
"I missed you so much." said almost silently, tears of joy streaming down her face, she kissed him several times and then again on his neck, she took in his scent as if to remind herself he was real.
She ran her fingers through his fur, the strands cascading under her fingertips; Nick caressed her with his paws her fur tickling his paw pads.
Nick took a deep breath of Judy's scent, the perfume of her filled his nose and his lungs, letting out a content but trembling exhale, the taste of her kisses was sugary sweet to his palette, her natural taste only served to encourage him.
The warm softness of her lips against his, their breath mixing in a warm embrace. Her soft coos, the sense of reunion, of being in each other's arms reminded him of how much he desired her. Recent events only served to further punctuate the truth of his feelings. Even all those nights eating Panda-la food and hanging out on the couch watching movies, he felt it then. He wanted to make her his bunny. Only now realizing, that at the same time she wanted to make him her fox.
A soft love bite of her bunny teeth on his neck made him sigh contentedly. He returned the favor by nibbling gently on her neck. She let out an airy and slow exhale, the feeling of it made her body tingle and tremble, which he felt as he held her in his arms.
She further caressed and kissed the fur on his head as further encouragement. They discarded their uniforms to the floor and wrapped themselves in the fine sheets of the bed.
The harsh exteriors from the traumatic events melted away, and they were couched in one another, like the Ying and Yang of two souls hurting for the unity of the other. No matter what cruelty they experienced the only true cruelty would be keeping them apart.
Judy lay under Nick and stared into his soft green eyes, she studied his face and lightly caressed her paw against his head. She could see the sweetness and gentleness there, that spirit she hoped hadn't been taken from him. She smiled at him, which caused him to smile back. He couldn't help but get lost in her amethyst eyes and marvel at her beauty. He knew she prided herself on being strong, while still maintaining her femininity. But seeing it now, his imagination did it no justice.
Judy pulled him to her, and she let out a soft breathy sigh as she felt him. They stared into each other's eyes, mouths agape as Nick gently found his rhythm. Their eyes locked upon each other lost in the infinite reflections, familiar and comforting, the distance they had, all the walls that were between them now gone. More than just passionate intensity, the craven need, the hurt, the comfort, together at last.
The rabbit's body trembled under his touch; the dull claws of his paws tickled the skin under her fur. A small, pleasured moan followed by a soft chuckle escaped her as the tingle ran up her spine. Smiling back at him, she hung her paws around his neck.
Judy pulled herself up and kissed him, pressing hard into his predator muzzle and probing his mouth with her bunny tongue. wrapping her legs around him to further encourage him. Nick gave a small throaty purr, enjoying the passionate intensity of his bunny.
Judy's heart fluttered, her body becoming tense and hot. Nick's pace took a sense of urgency, her soft moans becoming louder. A soft growl escaped his throat. She squeezed him and he pressed into her, she felt all of his vulpine physiology followed by an intense jolt from it.
She grabbed pawfuls of the fur on his back as she called out his name. "Nick!"
They shared a deep passionate kiss, as she felt his warmth pulse into her. Embracing each other as their bodies trembled. The soft sound of their panting dominated the room and the room felt several degrees warmer than before.
Nick's breathing stuttered almost like a shiver. Judy caressed his fur, she gave three tiny kisses before nuzzling his head against her cheek.
"I don't want to be without you ever again," she whispered.
"Don't worry fluff, I'm not going anywhere, ever again," he whispered.
He held her against his chest and rolled over. She laid her head on Nick's chest, listening to his heart, she closed her eyes listening to its beautiful cadence. Nick closed his eyes and kissed her on the top of her head. Nuzzling the top of her head with his chin and petting the fur on her side. They held each other for some time before falling asleep in each other's arms, thankful that fate had returned them together again.