POST - MISSION
General Hammond was conversing with Major Davis when Senator Kinsey was storming back inside the meeting room, his face matched the colour of a fire-engine. "General Hammond," he called the General with hatred in his voice.
Hammond couldn't help but notice that Kinsey's trousers were slightly damp on the front, but he knew better than to mention it, "How can I help you, Senator?"
Kinsey was almost screaming, his hand was pointed at Hammond's chest, "Let me tell you something, you better get O'Neill in control or I'll have the whole SGC..."
"Is that a threat, Senator?" the two stars General was not a man that took a warning lying down.
Major Davis was playing the middle-man, he stepped between the two men, "Senator Kinsey, please, remember where we are now." The three ambassadors and Colonel Chekov had already stopped whatever they were doing and had their attention on the little contest instead.
Kinsey stepped back and tried to control his anger, it wouldn't do any good to lose control in front of their allies' representatives, "Your Colonel O'Neill and his team had kidnap me and subjected me to a certain assault just now."
Hammond and Davis exchanged looks, and then the General turned to Kinsey, "With all due respect, Senator, this is a serious accusation. I have just phones Colonel O'Neill. He is in Colorado Springs at this moment, what you have just told me is impossible."
"Thor is helping them. I was transported to his ship and assaulted by your subordinate, General," Kinsey lowered his voice, he didn't want the others to listen. Accusing the Comma ... -- he meant the *Supreme* Commander of the Asgard Fleet was not a smart move, not even when it was the truth.
Hammond had a very good inkling that the Colonel had done just what the Senator told him, but he would be damned if he didn't fight back, "Do you have any proof to support your claim?"
Kinsey stopped dead in his tracks, did he had any proof? He was so consumed by his fury that he completely forgot about that.
"If you don't, then I suggest you stop spreading lies about my man," Hammond smiled in triumph; the Colonel had not let him down. But he really needed to talk to his 2IC once he got back to Colorado.
"I was gone for a considerable length of time, surely it counts as something," the Senator still had not given up.
Davis frowned, "You were only gone for five minutes from this room, Senator."
Kinsey looked at him incredulously, "Don't patronize me Major, I know that it had to be at least half an hour since I had left this room."
"I don't mean to interfere, but Major Davis is correct," Colonel Chekov confirmed Davis's assessment, the Senator faced him, "you had just left the room when you came suddenly barging back in."
Kinsey looked at the three ambassadors, and they seemed to be in agreement with Chekov and Davis. But he still didn't believe them, surely all that had occurred in more than five minutes.
"Senator Kinsey, I don't know what you are playing at. But don't you dare accuse my man based on nothing again," Hammond gave him a stern face. With that the General excused himself, "Now, if you excuse me, I have a phone call to make to the President," he then walked out of the room.
Kinsey was as lost as a penguin in a desert.
Somewhere inside the SGC.
"SG1 came out of the General's office with a big grin on their faces."
"So, they finally did it."
"I would've thought so."
"In such a short time? They couldn't have been inside the office for more than 5 minutes."
"They disabled the security camera."
"And remember, Thor is here."
"Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that."
"Wait a minute, Thor's here?"
"Yes, Sgt. Green from the Communication Department received information from her Pentagon connection; Thor made a surprise appearance in the meeting."
"Apparently, General Hammond wasn't too surprised when he showed up."
"So ... the General and O'Neill were definitely planning this."
"No doubt about that."
"You know, Major Briggs overheard something about having a picture developed."
"They had pictures?"
"Is this for real?"
"Do you think they'll share it with us?"
"We could always ask."
General Hammond sighed at the sight of his 2IC. Sometimes he wondered whether his sanity could survive another day with a man like this antique Colonel under his command. "Colonel, didn't I tell you that you shouldn't pull any stunts like that again without informing me?" He wanted to get angry, he should reprimand him, but the Colonel's good mood was infectious.
"What stunt?" the man in front of him stood with an innocent look on his face.
Hammond sighed once again, why couldn't the Colonel made life easier for him? "Senator Kinsey confronted me with an allegation against you and your team, Colonel. A serious one, I might add."
O'Neill's eyebrow lifted, "Can he prove the allegation, Sir?"
Hammond couldn't hold back a smirk, "Proud of your own work, Jack?" and just like that the rank was dropped. They were in Hammond's house, he was having a BBQ. An informal celebration for their 'victory' against Kinsey and the NID, almost all the SGC personnel were there.
Jack lifted the beer bottle to his mouth and took a mouthful, "You got to admit that it was a good one, George." He was clearly pleased with himself.
Hammond also took a sip from his coffee cup, "It was." Jack's plan had left Kinsey without evidence, "Although I would really appreciate it if I had a warning first." The General glanced out his reading-rooms window; the two officers were having a private conversation. "Tell me Son, what you actually did to him?" He was just human, curiosity was one of his attributes.
"Don't worry, you'll soon find out," Jack took another swing at his beer.
Hammond watched the younger man flicking through a book that he took from the bookshelves, "I'm sure it's worth it."
"You have no idea."
"Sir, what did the General say?" Sam asked as soon as her CO joined her in the garden.
"He said that he couldn't wait to see for the show today."
She was tentative, "Are we still going for it? I mean it was one thing to have the pictures taken, but to actually show them ..."
He waved his hand, "Carter, don't you know how desperate these people are?" he gestured at the crowd attending the BBQ party. She sighed deeply, she knew how badly those people wanted it, she really did. She and Jonas were the ones who were being pestered by all the soldiers and scientists of the SGC. Jack leaned in to whispered in her ear, "Let's just say that now we have unlimited supply of 'slave for the day'."
She really should have seen it coming. It was so like the Colonel, to take advantage on any opportunity that was presented to him. "Whatever you say, Sir," she gave him a mock salute accompanied by one of the smiles that she reserved especially for him when he was being difficult.
He smiled back, "Where's Jonas and Teal'c?"
"They were preparing the projector; Jonas needs Teal'c to guard the library door. Some people are getting restless," she took two bottles of beer from the crate. They had positioned themselves near the liquor, and as senior officers, no one dared to shoo them away. She gave one to him.
"Thanks," they then lapsed into comfortable silence, drinking their beer and watching the others.
"I'm just glad that Hammond's grandchildren are not here," he said out of the blue, "It could be damaging for their mental development if they ever saw the photographs."
Her beer went down the wrong pipe and she coughed violently.
"Are you okay?" he rubbed her back, feeling slightly guilty for being the cause of her suffering. He picked up a tissue from the wooden table near them and wiped her wet mouth and nose with it.
After she recovered, her eyes shot daggers at him, "Did you have to say that while I was drinking?"
At least he had the decency to look sheepish, "Sorry, I was just wondering out loud. Didn't know that you would found it amusing." And just as easy as that, his apology was accepted.
"Never mind, I already knew that you are hazardous for my health anyway," even though that she had already forgiven him, she wouldn't let him go that easily.
"Hey, I resent that comment," admonished Jack, somewhat amused with the fact that his 2IC were sounding more and more like him these days.
She grinned, "It's not my problem if you can't handle the truth."
He groaned in frustration.
Across the garden.
"Did you see that?"
"He was touching her."
"And they said they were just friends?"
"Look at they way he looks at her."
"She does the same thing."
"Shhh, lower your voice, they might hear us."
"So what if they do hear us?"
"Okay, shhh, *Hammond* might hear us."
"Hammond is inside the house, he couldn't hear us."
"Shhh or *I'll* smack your head."
"Quit it, you two."
"Ahhh ... look at them, our perfect couple."
"Uh huh, and the fact that the regulations are against their relationship makes it so much more interesting."
"Yes, what can I say, I'm a sucker for the forbidden kind of love."
"Hopefully we'll get a happy ending."
"I'm with you."
The General's library was packed with people. Most of them were sitting on the floor, some senior officers and heads of departments got the chairs. Rank really did have its privileges. They were preparing for the most anticipated slide show ever. Jonas had brought the projector from the SGC, he had chosen the best pictures from his collection and arranged them for the audience.
"Everyone ready?" asked Jonas.
"YES," came the impatient chorus.
"Okay, let's do it then."
The light was switched off and darkness covered the room. The projector was humming, in a few seconds the first picture was up.
"How did they manage to get Kinsey's to lower his pants?"
"Nothing impossible when it came to SG1, I guess."
"Kinsey got nice boxers though."
"He looks pissed."
"He was ready to kill."
"He was livid."
"Furious is more like it."
"Did someone get hurt in the process of getting these pictures?"
"Ouch, he looks scared now."
"Yeah. My money is on Teal'c too."
"I'm with you."
"Scared? More like terrified for me."
"If you were in his position, wouldn't you be?"
"I can see your point."
"What did they do to him?"
"I can't believe that I actually feel sorry for Kinsey."
"Don't worry man, we are allowed to have weaknesses."
"I don't know if I could take more."
"Kinsey wet his pants."
"This is a one in a million picture."
"I can't believe he did it."
"We can blackmail him with this picture alone."
"I'm so with you on that."
"Ew ... naked Kinsey."
"Naked Kinsey's *back*."
"Does it make any difference? All I can see is wrinkled skin."
"What were they doing to him?"
"I'm just glad that no one here is underage."
"Is that ..."
"That is a tattoo alright."
"But what is a tattoo doing on Kinsey's butt?"
"Twenty bucks that it was SG1 doing."
"Not even a donkey is stupid enough to take that bet."
"Hey, it's the close-up of the tattoo."
"Wow, pretty red heart tattoo."
"Who did it?"
"I would've guessed Jonas."
"He did a good job on that."
"There's a name on the tattoo."
"What is it?"
"It's not too clear."
"Oh, there it is."
"What is it?"
"I'm not being picky or anything, but ..."
"Betty is *so* not the name of the Senator's wife."
Hammond was speechless. The slide show had proven to be very ... pleasurable.
"How on Earth did you managed to do all that in less that five minutes?" he whispered to Jack who was sitting next to him, that question had been nagging him for quite a while.
"I didn't. It took us nearly four hours to get all of it done," answered Jack with a shrug of his shoulder.
"But ..." he eyed his men and women, they were also still taken aback by the pictures. Especially since someone had shed the light on the importance of the name 'Betty'; they were still letting the news sunk in. His 2IC really need to start acting his own age, not that he minded having him just the way he is.
"We borrowed the Asgard's time machine," Jack explained.
"The one that they used to trap the Replicators?"
"Yes, it created some kind of time-bubble around Thor's ship, four hours in the ship was less than 2 seconds back on Earth, or at least that's what Carter said."
He chuckled softly, "You don't really care as long as it works, didn't you?"
Grinning was Jack's favourite activity of the day, "You got that right."
"What about the tattoo? How come Kinsey didn't feel sore?" he was sure that Kinsey would have mentioned it if he knew.
"You have to ask Fraiser about that, but it was something that SG4 brought back from their last visit."
"The new anaesthetic?" SG4 had managed to get a local painkiller back to the SGC. It had proven to have no addictive properties, unlike the normal painkillers that were widely used on Earth and it also lasted longer. That was why Hammond decided that it was worth studying. "Aren't we still testing it?"
"Yes, we are."
A week had passed by since the slide-show in the General's library. Almost everyone had recovered from their initial shock of seeing one of the most respectable American Senators (possibly their next President) being subjected to SG1's ordeal. Suffice to say that he wouldn't get any votes from any SGC personnel on the next election, his perfect reputable figure had been tainted so badly that every time they saw his picture, all that they could see was his 'wet pants' moment or the tattoo.
It was that bad.
But life goes on and people had work to be done. So the SGC was back to its normal routine. It was lunch time, Lt. Marie Keller and Sgt. Tara Green were on their way to the commissary to get some food. They were talking about the whole Kinsey fiasco.
"Did you know that Kinsey's wife has left their house?" Marie, as the base's grapevine queen, was always up to date with the latest news.
Tara was intrigued, "Really? Was it because of the tattoo?"
"Well, I obviously don't know for sure, but it was the most likely explanation," speculated the Lieutenant, "I mean, it happened the day after that fateful day, it couldn't be a coincidence. I guess Kinsey was never aware of the tattoo's existence."
"Hmm, I guess I can understand why she left him," the brunette Sergeant nodded in sympathy to the Senator's wife, "if my boyfriend came home with a tattoo with another woman's name on it, I would do the same thing as well."
"Not before you kicked his ass first, of course," her friends suggested.
Tara grinned, "Don't put ideas in my head, I might be tempted to put it into practice."
Marie was about to add something when she came to a halt, as if she saw a ghost. Tara was about to shake her friend out of her condition when out of the corner of her eyes, she saw whatever Marie saw. It was something that neither of the women had a word to describe.
There, in front of the commissary, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter were standing next to each other -- face to face, in a very close proximity, too close in fact.
"Jeez, are you sure Carter?" said the Colonel who seemed to be uncertain.
She had one of her hand on the Colonel's jacket collar and played with it, her fingers were stroking and twisting the blue material. Avoiding his eyes, she looked at her hand and its current object of affection instead, "I'm certain, Sir," was that a purr? Was Major Samantha Carter just purring? To her commanding officer?
He looked down at her head, "What if it didn't work?" he asked softly.
She tilted her head to face him, "It will work," there were no hesitancy in her voice, her blue eyes showed determination.
"How bad do you want it?" asked him again, trying to concentrate more as her hand was traveling to his chest now.
"*Very*," she was not to be deterred.
He sighed, there was no way he could resist much longer, "Tell me again, why should I agree with this?"
She licked her lips deliberately and slowly, "Because *I* want to."
"You promise it will work?" he was still unconvinced.
She leaned closer and gave him a smile, "I promise."
He considered it for a while, and then he shrugged his shoulder, "Okay then."
She pushed his chest slowly with one hand and drew away from his body, "Thanks Sir, I'll let the General know and put the request to join the 'Prometheus' crew for its first flight test as soon as possible." She then turned around and walked away from him, "See you in the debriefing, Sir."
He muttered under his breath, "Scientists." His eyes were suspiciously checking on his Major's butt until she was out of sight, he then shook his head and disappeared inside the commissary.
Tara and Marie were still standing on the same spot as they were a few minutes ago. They were speechless and bewildered.
"They did it again."
"They can't just throw that much ship in our faces and leave it like that."
"Apparently they can, and just did."
"The flirting is getting worse and worse everyday."
"Don't forget about the look exchanges and those smiles."
"Tell me about it."
"I don't know whether I can take it anymore."
"For crying out loud, that's it. I demand a resolution."
Senator Kinsey was in his house. His faithful wife had just left him a week ago for no reason, he had tried to call her and find out what was wrong, but she didn't want to have anything to do with him right now. He had a brown envelope in front of him right now; it was delivered to his house this morning with no indication of who the sender was. He opened it and took out a piece of paper. It was just a normal plain white paper, there were some words on it, typed - not hand written. He began to read.
Don't forget, I can take it anytime I want it. So, don't do anything that I won't do and keep your hands off my team.
PS: If you need a reminder, look under your right big toe.
Kinsey crushed the paper into a little ball. He knew it, it was O'Neill. So he wasn't dreaming about the whole thing after all. His bodyguards had informed him that he only spent around thirty seconds inside the restroom, therefore he thought that he had finally lost his mind and imagined the whole incident. O'Neill had sent the letter to let him know that he had power over him.
The Senator was livid, but he couldn't do anything about it. O'Neill had those pictures that could destroy his image easily. What a man. O'Neill's one weakness was his team, but he made it perfectly clear that they were off-limits, so he couldn't do anything about it. Damn it, he wanted to get revenge, but it was impossible for the time being. That was alright, he was a patient man, he could wait until the time was right.
Until he won the next election and became the new President.
And when that time came, O'Neill would wish that he had never been born. With that thought, Kinsey's anger eased slightly. He approached the fireplace and threw the paper into the fire. He watched the paper burn into ashes, the paper was moving slightly inside the fire, he could see the word 'toe' on it. That was right, O'Neill told him to look under his right big toe.
He sat on the chair and took off his slippers, he put on his reading glasses and raised his right foot to his left knee. He leaned forward to take a little to look under his big toe. His face was reddened, his anger had reappeared.
"O'NEILL," his scream could be heard resonating throughout his big white mansion. Why? Because under his right big toe, there was a small tattoo. It was a word written in Arial Black font, a word that Kinsey despised so much.
The word was: SG1
So, what do you think?
Read the prequel: Partners in Crime