The Bings sat at opposite sides of the bed, and Joey sat at the foot, starting to take off his shoes and socks already. In an effort to comfort her husband, Monica pulled him close and kissed his lips gently. "No harm done," she whispered.

Joey watched them, noticing Chandler's tension and feeling strangely unsure of himself. His previous threesomes had only been with women, and besides, these were his friends. "Chandler?" he asked quietly. "Should we--are there rules? I won't do anything that you don't want me to."

Chandler frowned at the memory of their previous discussion of rules and looked away.

Monica changed the subject, "Wait, um, aren't you a little overdressed, Joey?" She gestured at his remaining clothes. "Strip for us, and then we'll show you what's underneath our robes."

She tugged playfully at the ties of her robe, and Joey had to admit he was curious. So he got up from the bed and started to unbutton his shirt.

"I've already seen Chandler naked," he shrugged, glancing at Chandler as if to reassure him. "We were roommates."

"That's right!" Monica followed Joey's gaze. "And he's already seen you naked too."

Chandler tried not to overtly watch Joey strip, but then he made an involuntary sound. Joey was more muscular than he remembered. "You--you've been working out?" he commented softly.

Joey paused as he took off his shirt. "Oh, yeah." He stared at Chandler staring at him. "I, um, I guess it has been a few years since you've seen me." He looked thoughtful. "I guess you've changed too."

It was almost sweet, this halting flirtation between them, as if they were blushing virgins. Why didn't it ever go anywhere before? Whatever the cause, she was determined to overcome the impasse tonight.

Noticing Monica watching them, Joey gave an embarrassed cough and finally looked away. He continued getting naked, and briefly sat down to take off his pants.

Chandler ached for the kiss already, and ached to touch Joey again, like he had years ago when Joey had a hernia and need help showering. Sure, the hernia wasn't particularly pleasant, but lathering up the rest of him and getting wet together was bliss. It was the stuff his repression was made from. Now Chandler struggled to remember the details and to relive them if he could.

Joey finished and resumed his place on the bed. Which Bing did he look at more?

Monica smiled. "So, um, who do you want to see first?"

Joey hesitated, glancing at Chandler, but then he decided to be cautious. "You. You, Monica. Of course."

Vexed, she realized that Joey had made the mistake of rejecting Chandler again, just as he had turned away from the kiss before. Oh, why couldn't he work *with* her plan?

Joey looked expectantly at her. "Should I--?" he came nearer.

"No!" she sat back nervously and tried to collect herself. Taking a breath, she grudgingly untied her robe and flashed Joey briefly, before tying it shut again. "I, um, I'm sorry," she blushed sincerely. "I guess I'm more nervous than I thought."

Joey reassured her, "It's okay." He knew he was the most experienced of the three of them. "We can take things slow. If you want to talk about rules--"

"Wait!" Monica headed off that conversation. "No, it's Chandler's turn, remember? Chandler, honey?" She nudged him with an elbow.

Chandler blushed and wasn't sure if he could.

Monica shrugged and suggested, "Joey, um, maybe you could help him?"

Joey was puzzled by how she could be timid personally yet brazen when it concerned her husband. "If he doesn't really want to..."

She pouted. "But I just did it! I mean, open and shut at least. Is that too much to ask?" She impatiently untied Chandler's robe herself and opened it for Joey.

Chandler tensed at feeling Joey's eyes scanning him as they hadn't done since Susie Moss trapped Chandler in a bathroom stall wearing nothing but a g-string. Joey had openly stared and mocked then. What was he doing now?

"All right," Joey cleared his throat and reached to tie the robe shut again. Monica had left it open much longer than her own robe. "Here, let me." He wrapped Chandler securely and tied his robe again, half glancing at his face. "You're all right?" he asked. "Not scared?"

Chandler shrugged, his eyes averted. "I, um," he tried to explain. "I'm nervous. I'm, um, new..."

"I know, I know," Joey reassured. Why did Chandler ever suggest having this threesome? He didn't seem ready at all.

Joey sat back and frowned. "Look, if you've changed your mind or something, I can, I can just go..."

"Joey, wait!" Monica was frustrated. "No! Just stay a little longer. We want you to."

He shook his head. "No, I thought, I thought this might work, but--"

"Kiss him!"

"I'm not gonna kiss you."

"No, I said kiss *him*!"

"What?" he stopped and turned around.

Monica nodded, glad to get his attention. "Kiss Chandler for me, please."

He blinked at her. "Wh-why?"

Monica noticed that he moved his hand to obscure his groin. She shrugged innocently and glanced at her husband, who sat there completely still. "Um, yeah, you know how you guys are always fantasizing about lesbians? Well, Chandler and I were talking about what would happen tonight, and he promised me that you guys would kiss for me."

"Kiss for you?"

"Yes! Women get turned on by men together! I want to see you kiss."

Joey stared at her, trying to restrain his interest in the idea, then he finally turned to Chandler. "You, um, you want to?"

Chandler's hopes rose again. "Y-yes," he answered softly.

Joey inched carefully closer. "It, um, it can be like New Year's, you know?"

"No, you have to use your tongues!" Monica insisted. "We agreed on one minute, with tongue!"

"What?" Joey turned to her with a frown.

Monica nodded. "The more you do, the more you turn me on. Right, Chandler?"

Her husband nodded, his eyes still fixed on Joey. Was he going to refuse?

Joey looked at Chandler and remained cautious. "You sure?"

God, yes. Joey was so naked and so near now. Chandler just nodded again, not trusting his voice.

"It's just a kiss!" Monica added. "The lesbians in your fantasies do a lot more, I bet."

Joey wondered why Chandler didn't speak up more. "I don't want you to be afraid of me--"

"No talking!" Monica demanded.

"Monica!" he scolded, then met Chandler's eyes again, worried. "Just say something."

Chandler finally managed, "Kiss me."

Joey blinked, surprised and pleased. "O-okay."

"Good!" Monica smiled, waiting. Realizing that she needed a prop, she turned and got a watch from the nightstand. "Start whenever you're ready. I'll time you."

Joey took a breath and leaned slowly nearer to Chandler, watching his face like he had on the couch. Chandler closed his eyes and waited. Softly at first, Joey lightly brushed his lips against Chandler's, until, after a pause, he raised a hand to pull Chandler closer, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue inside.

A warm, wet kiss, infinitely richer than their New Year's kiss years ago. Chandler could smell and taste Joey intimately. Was it a cologne or aftershave he detected? Was he breathing through his nose anymore, or through Joey? Chandler already felt the blood leaving his brain and was glad he was wearing a robe that could hide his arousal. He sighed and tried not to moan Joey's name yet.

Monica didn't even look at the watch in her hand, just waiting for some sign that the guys would definitely be all right after this kiss, and wouldn't just retreat from it with that macho, distant behavior that they always adopted when people made suggestive jokes about their relationship. She knew Chandler was literally half mad with desire already, and a major disappointment could wound him further.

For an actor who'd lost a movie role once for not being able to kiss a guy convincingly, Joey was passionate, if guarded. He wanted to be able to pull away at any moment and not seem to cling to Chandler. Still, he caught himself starting to moan a little, making an indistinct "Mmm" sound against Chandler's lips.

Chandler moaned back and dared to sit a little closer. Joey felt the movement and blinked. He let his other hand reach up and pull Chandler even closer by the collar of his robe.

Chandler started to reach for Joey too, his hand hesitating just before touching Joey's naked chest. Should he?

Joey felt that hand hovering near his skin and glanced at it, wondering if Chandler intended to push him away. Had he gone too far? He broke off the kiss and started to ask, "Chandler?"

"Joey," Chandler answered breathlessly, his eyes still closed.

Joey stared, realizing that Chandler wasn't just picturing his wife. "Chandler!" Joey pulled him close with both hands and kissed him even more deeply than before.

Chandler moaned and gripped both of Joey's shoulders with his hands. The memory of that shared shower was coming back to him in pieces. He felt one of Joey's hands stray down from his face and to his robe again. It didn't stop at the collar, though, and reached from underneath to find what Chandler had been concealing under the robe.

Chandler broke from the kiss to groan at his touch.

Monica could see that things were definitely progressing, and she quickly to tried to get off the bed and leave them alone, but Joey turned at the movement, nervously pulling his hand away.

"Mon? What? Is, is the minute over?"

She blushed. "Uh, yes, but you don't have to stop."

"Huh?" he looked confused and worried. "But, but--" Joey tried to get his mind working again, and seemed ashamed of how he was caught. "I shouldn't-- He's your husband."

"And I'm his wife, yet you wanted to do me."

"I know, but--"

Chandler hushed Joey and urgently turned him back for a kiss. "Touch me," he begged, encouraging the explorations of Joey's hand.

Joey couldn't understand his brazenness in front of his wife, but let himself be pulled onto the bed on top of Chandler. "She'll, she'll think--" he tried to protest.

Monica intervened one last time. "Go ahead," she said. "Go on. It's--it's your turn." She backed away and quickly slipped out the door.

So the threesome became a intimate twosome, and it was too late for Monica to ask them to move out of her marriage bed. It seemed like a sign that their marriage was always doomed to end.

With a sigh, she tried to look on the bright side; at least Chandler wasn't acting like a scary maniac anymore. Now he was just... a man in love, she supposed. Oh well, at least she could always switch the bed with the one in the guest room. Maybe she'd even just switch rooms, because of all the memories, good and bad, in the master bedroom.

As Monica cleaned up in the living room, she heard Chandler moan "Joey" again just like he had on the tape, but with the right person this time. Leaving the wedding rings on the table, she blew out the last few candles, and then went into the guest room. This room was far too close to the other bedroom, though, so she took blankets and pillows from the bed before going across the hall to sleep on Joey's couch.

As she settled in, she pondered how completely their lives would change in the morning. Tomorrow they'd have to somehow explain all this to the rest of their friends and family, but for now this secret belonged to just the three of them, like other secrets in the past.


Tangled in the bed-sheets, with the bathrobe long since discarded on the floor, Joey and Chandler caught their breaths at last.

Joey asked the burning question in his mind, "Why, why didn't Monica mind?" Even she must know the difference between a threesome and a twosome.

Chandler kissed him and met his eyes, "Because we're, we're divorcing."

"What?" Joey sat up, looking concerned.

He nodded and confessed quietly against Joey's shoulder, tracing the warm muscles with his fingers. "She found out... that I was gay."

Joey stared at him, and brushed his hands through Chandler's hair. "You mean--you mean this wasn't just about tonight?"

Chandler shrugged. "You're not mad, are you? About the trick?"

"What? No." Joey kissed Chandler reassuringly, but remained confused. "I thought, I thought you loved her. She made you so happy."

"I thought so too, but..." He sighed and held Joey closer, looking regretful. "If, if only it had been you and me in London..."

Joey frowned. "I just, I thought you'd be scared of me. You always seemed--"

Chandler nodded. "I *was* scared... of you, of me, of all this."

Joey kissed him and caressed his face with worry. "Not any more, right? 'Cause I'd never, never hurt you, you know?"

Chandler smiled shyly. "I know." He asked cautiously, "Can I, can I move back in with you?"

Joey blinked, remembering about the divorce. "Oh, um, sure. I mean, yes. Of course!" He sighed distractedly. "I just feel bad, about Monica and everything... What about the baby?"

"She's not pregnant yet. She talked about maybe getting a sperm donor."

"Aw, really?!" Joey felt more guilty. He always thought Monica should have a great husband to father her kids. Now it seemed that she'd would be doing everything on her own. Joey wondered if there was such a thing as a three-way marriage. His father, his mother, and his father's mistress had seemed to work something out, after all.

Chandler shrugged, watching Joey's eyes. "We can help her out with the kid, if she wants us to," he offered. "I mean, she doesn't seem so angry anymore, and she made you godfather, right?"

"Right." But Joey still frowned. "It's weird, being the other... man."

Chandler nodded and held him closer. "But you still want to?"

Joey kissed him and replied softly, "Yeah."