-TRANSMISSION ONLINE-

-Beginning ECHO Review Log-

Slowly drifting through the emptiness of space was a variable grave yard of parts ships. Cylon Basestars, Borg cubes, Zentradi fighters, CIS class battlecruisers, Zaku IIs floating about, even an old pirate ship with rockets slapped on it. In the center of this grave was a familiar dog bone-shaped spacestation.

(Kilo) Uuuuugh last year was an absolute mess.

(Gaige) Tell me about it.

(Torgue) . . . I need a f*cking drink.

(Tina) Just give me anything to distract me from all of this.

A case with a CD in landed on her lap.

(Tina) The new chapter?

(Kilo) Yup. Get it ready, I have some notes to go over first. Anyways welcome back everyone old and new, apologies for how long it has been since my last upload. For various reasons, including some of the freaky shit from the last chapter, it took forever for me to get this chapter done, but we're here at least. Some shoutouts I have before we start. Firstly, thank you Espacole for coming up with such a perfect name for the little Crystalisk, honestly the name fits so many points it is almost unbelievable. Second there a bit with a bit of Spanish in this chapter, I'd like to thank mayortom935 for translating that portion of the story. That being said full translations will be posted at the end. Anyways, Happy New Year everyone, thank you all for sticking with me for so long as this adventure continues.

(Tina) I cleaned the dead Battle Droids and Cylons out of the theater, and loaded the disc boss man!

(Kilo) Excellent. To the Mystery Science Theater!

-ECHO Transmission interrupted-

Disclaimer: I do not own Borderlands or any of its characters, Borderlands is owned by Gearbox Software and 2K Games, the only ownership I claim is of my own OC's. This is a story just for your fun and enjoyment. Please enjoy.

Stories text formats

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Echo/Radio"

'Krieg's inner voice / the little voice in the back of everyones head'

"Translated AI speak"

X-X-X

Chapter 25

Whispers of Madness

It was early in the morning according to DT's internal clock, and for the hundredth time that night, he scanned the cavern his creator and friend had taken shelter in for threats. His scanner showed Kai and his maker/mother were sleeping in a pair of sleeping bags the boy had pulled from his ECHO before they slept. Hati's emitter pack was sitting on Kai's right where a light on it was blinking in standby mode, while near Gaige the little crystalisk was half buried in the dirt.

DT turned to scan over the rest of the cave. Temperature, 16 degrees Celsius. Humidity, 31%. Contaminate levels 0. Pollen count, 12%. He noted that there was a slight increase in both moisture and non-hazardous pollen in the air by about point eight percent since the last scan, but it was negligible. Microphones and motion sensors also didn't pick up any disturbances as well as thermals... He was bored.

This was his first experience at guard/watch duty and he could see why people hated it. When he was in storage he could either sleep or access Gaige's ECHO to explore the net or even see what she was doing, but he had neither option as he had to be active to use all of his sensors, and he was tethered to an old Dahl power core to stay active which further limited his movements.

He was about to start another scan out of boredom when the small crystalisk suddenly pulled itself from the ground in a panic as it began to skitter around. Confused, DT pinged Hati, who soon materialized next to him. "D why are you waking me up at… five in the morning?" He said with irritation in his voice.

"Something has the crystalisk spooked." DT said, pointing to the little creature as it continued to panic.

Hati eyed the little creature and noted its distress. "Is there anything on your scanner?"

"No."

Hati stared at the crystalisk for several more seconds. "Sync your sensors with mine." DT did as he was told and they both watched their feeds. Temperature, 16 degrees Celsius. Humidity, 31%. Contaminate levels 0. Pollen count, 41%.

"The pollen has increased, nearly twenty percent in five minutes." DT said. Then the two AIs saw a blip on their motion sensors, it was faint and just a millisecond but they both saw it.

"We're not alone." Hati said as he went into attack mode while a flashlight turned on from DT's eye illuminating the way down the cavern. They noted several large clumps of moss on the walls as the light scanned over the area.

"See anything?" DT asked.

"No… Wait, go back!" Hati quickly said.

DT shined his light back to a spot that had a moss tower… that twitched. "What the!?" The moss let out a hiss as it began to turn. It was a tall and lanky creature and stood on four stubby legs, its head was squarish in shape and had a receded face that seemed to hold a perpetual horror scream, with hollow eye sockets that had no end.

"THE FUCK IS THAT!?" DT yelled, as his loud warbling woke the teens up.

"What the he- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" Gaige yelled as the creepy creature charged at their partners. DT fired an eye bolt at the first creature which screamed in pain before falling over. But before anyone could say anything several more creatures started rushing out of the caves.

"SHIT! HATI, DT COVER! GAIGE, GET THE DOOR OPEN, I GOTTA BREAK DOWN CAMP!" Kai yelled as he jumped out of his sleeping bag. Gaige got up and bolted for the door as Kai started shoving gear and supplies in his ECHO. All the while, their partners were laying down fire into the tunnel.

"Why didn't we detect these things!?" DT yelled as he fired another electrical bolt at one of the creatures.

Hati tackled one of the creatures, knocking it to the ground and then pining it.

Immediately the wolf bites where it believed its throat was and rips the chunk out only to find he had a mouth full of grass and moss. 'The hell!?' He thought as he spit the grass out. "The fuck is-" Hati started to say only for the inners of the creature to start growling through its mossy skin. "CRAP!" He howled as he jumped back just before the creature exploded with the power of a grenade throwing the wolf back several meters.

"Boss!" DT yelled as he moved in front.

"Their plants." Hati spat as he got up.

"Huh."

"These creepy creepers are fucking plants! That's why they have no body heat or heartbeats!" Hati roared!

"But, why attack us though!?"

"Because our partners are nutrition to them!" Hati yelled as he fired an ice spike.

As this was happening Kai had just grabbed a few fuel canisters and was starting to disassemble the stove when he heard a hiss. He looked up in time to see one of the creatures a few feet from him when it started to glow. "Aww, crap basket."

The creature exploded and threw Kai across the cavern into a pile of rocks where his shield flares before breaking. Painfully, Kai pulled himself out of the pile already feeling the bruise that was bound to form later. He looked to where he had been and pales.

Parts of his camping gear and supplies were thrown across the floor or burned. "Aww fuck." He looked to where the creature had been and saw several more coming from another dark tunnel. "SHIT! WE GOT MORE COMING IN ON THE RIGHT!" Kai yelled as he pulled out the Teapot and started shooting. The acid-coated bullets were effective, but not as fast as with armor.

"Gaige! How is that door coming?" Kai yelled as he rushed to try and grab several items on the ground.

Gaige was rapidly working on the control panel, switching between wires with frantic fervor. "Guuugh, It's not responding! I think it fused!"

"Of fucking course!" Kai yelled as he pulled out his Fast Talker with the incendiary barrel. Kai fires at a nearby. . . Fuck it he was mentally calling them Creepers. He fired several rounds which ignited the creature, only for several pops to go off around it before it exploded, raining Kai with small rocks. "Shit! GUYS, DON'T USE-"

But it was too late as DT fired and racked his incendiary laser over three creepers charging him. The result was a massive explosion that threw the AIs across the cavern. HATI! DT!" Kai yells before hearing a loud hiss to his left. "FUCK!" He yelled as he quickly swapped back to the Teapot and immediately fired at several creepers rushing him.

As Kai was busy, Hati slowly got up and noted his current hologram body was at about fifty-six percent stability. If it dropped below thirty the body would destabilize and the emitter would be forced to despawn. "DT, you alive buddy?" He yelled.

"Mostly."

"Mostly? Wha-" Hati looked to see DeathTrap pick up part of his broken right arm before turning and firing a shock bolt at another creeper. "Well, shit." Hati said as he turned and fired another ice spike from his jaw.

All the while Gaige was arms deep in the wiring for the door, rapidly cutting and splicing wires with Kai's knife as she desperately tried to get the door working again. She finished twisting two wires together as an electrical hum began to reverberate, only for a sputter and a burst of blue electrical smoke. "FUCK!" Gaige yelled. "Kai the door is dead!"

"What do you mean dead!?" Kai yelled from across the cavern as he backed up to her position.

"I mean it's as dead as Scooter's dating life!" Gaige retorted as she pulled out a Jakob shotgun. "So now what?" Gaige said as she fired at a group of creepers while Kai swapped to a backup corrosive Dahl SMG he kept in his ECHO.

"Honestly, no idea." Kai said as he fired towards the right tunnel to cover DT's and Hati's fighting retreat. At this point, we have to fight them until we kill them all."

"And if we run out of bullets?" Kai didn't say anything as he shot another creeper dead only for two more to take its place. Taking his silence as an answer Gaige moved to another issue. "Where's the Crystallisk?" Gaige asked as she loaded her shotgun again.

Kai looked around and soon found the little crystalisk to their right trying to dig through a wall of dirt. . . DIRT! "You brilliant little gem!" Kai yelled.

"What!?" Gaige asked.

"The little Iolite just found us a way out!" Kai said as rushed towards the mess of supplies that had been knocked over. "Cover me!" Kai yelled as Gaige swapped to her Commerce Beta SMG.

Kai quickly focused on the spilled create of fuel tanks and gathered about a dozen of them in his arms. Just as he stood up three more creepers ran from the left cavern, one already glowing. "Oh FUCK!"

Before it could explode a cacophony of gunfire hit the creeper and bounced several pullets into the other two creepers. Knowing Gaige was covering him Kai bolted for the wall the Crystalisk was still digging into. He slid to the wall and dropped the fuel tanks at his feet and immediately grabbed the little crystalisk. "GAIGE! GO LONG!" Kai yelled as he turned and threw the panicking little creature. To both Gaige's surprise, she dropped her gun, as the little creature flew into her arms.

"WHAT THE HELL KAI!"

"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!" Kai yelled back as he started shoving the canisters into the small hole the crystalisk had dug. Noting that several creepers were moving towards him Gaige set the crystalisk onto her left shoulder and fired on any creepers getting close to her friend.

Kai shoved the remaining four canisters into the dirt around the hole in a loose circle. Kai looked it over and grimaced. "It's not enough." An explosion caught his attention, he looked to see DT had fired his eye laser at a far back group. The shot missed the one he was aiming for but hit a dead creeper slumped against the wall. The corpse caught on fire and immediately started to crackle and pop for a few seconds before it exploded.

"That's it!" Kai said as he got up and looked to the nearest creeper. "Hey you ugly shrub, come and get me!" The creeper notices him and immediately charges at him. Gaige also notices the creeper charging at him and quickly turns to fire but Kai notices. "DON'T!" Kai yelled as he walked back from the approaching Creeper.

"But-"

"Just keep the other shrubs off of me! Kai yelled. "And DT, laser eye on my signal!"

"What is that idiot planning now." Gaige said as she turned to the main hoard.

"Just keep coming." Kai said as the creeper got closer. He backed up to the wall of dirt and picked up a large stone off the ground. The creeper took several more steps, when it got within several meters Kai threw the rock at it striking the creature in the head and stunning it. Kai immediately rushed the dazed creature and grabbed it, throwing his weight into it he spun and threw the creature with surprising ease into the dirt wall.

Several more creepers noticed and started moving in to engage but Kai immediately started running back towards Gaige who looking at him in befuddlement. "DT! LASER THE ONE I THREW!" Kai yelled as he grabbed his friend and pulled her behind the edge of the door.

DT fired an eye laser at the down creeper. The impact site rapidly began to burn before the creature exploded causing the fuel and two nearby creepers to all explode violently as dozens of creepers were thrown back. The teens looked around the corner and could see a new hole with light from the outside coming in.

At that same moment, several more creepers started rushing from one of the caverns with two different ones. Two of the creepers were twice the size of its siblings.

What the fuc-" Gaige begins to say.

"MOVE!" Kai yells as he grabs her hand and pulls her towards the new exit. DT and Hati follow after them as they make it to the exit.

"Won't those things just follow us!?" Gaige yells just before they reach the hole, making Kai stop in his tracks. 'Fuck, she right, these things were trapped in here before, if they get out…" Kai looked around when he heard Hati bark and saw what he was pointing to. "That could work."

Gaige ran out and stopped to catch her breath in what was a gully. "Not. What. I expected. To wake up. Too." She huffed out. She turned to her left and realized Kai wasn't there, nor was DT, or Hati. "Where the hell-" A sudden burst of gunfire could be heard along with several other explosions. "What are they doing!?" Gaige said as she started to move back only for Kai to jump out of the hole in a panic.

"RUN!" He yelled as Hati rushed out behind him with DT. Kai bolted towards Gaige. "KEEP RUNNING!" He yelled as Gaige quickly began running away again. They made it another twenty meters when a large spout of fire shot from the cave only for a much more violent explosion to go off a few seconds later and throw the two teens into the side of a slope. Part of the rock wall behind them soon collapsed in a torrent of dust and rubble. After about a minute the two teens slowly got up as DT and Hati shuck off the dirt from their bodies.

Gaige held her head as she sat up. "What the hell was that?"

"There were a few jerrycans of fuel left, so I attached a bearclaw mine to them while DT dragged over several dead creepers in a pile. Left it on proxey fuse and we ran for our lives. The explosive force of the two big assholes did the rest." Kai then groaned in pain. "My everything hurts."

Gaige meanwhile was trying to catch her breath when she finally noticed something that caused her to gag in disgust. "Ugh, what smells like rotten chicken guts left in a septic truck parked in the desert?" Gaige asked as she covered her nose with her hands.

Kai, still catching his own breath, tiredly sat up and took a whiff of the air. "Ugh, well at least we know who won the monster fight." Kai said as he got up. Gaige picked herself up and followed him out of the ravine. When Kai reached the top he stopped and let out a sigh. "Yep, just as I thought."

Gaige reached the top and instantly regretted looking. In front of her was the rotting carcass of the rakk hive that looked mutilated beyond recognition. The right side of its head was caved in with a large shard of blue crystal with brain matter slowly oozing out. Its left hind leg was thrown ten meters to the side and its belly was torn open with guts spilled out in a pool of dark blood. To make matters worse several spiderants were currently picking over the carcasses making the mess worse. Two spiderants, in particular, were having a tug-a-war with a piece of intestine. After several tugs, the piece of gut broke and spattered bale in every direction. That combined with the smell finally pushed Gaige over the edge as she fell on her hands and knees and threw up. Gaige was at it for a good minute when she felt Kai pat her on the back.

"Just let it out." Kai said.

"Ugh, that. . . Is disgusting." Gaige says. She then noticed Kai was holding out the rag for her with what she figured was for cleaning his guns if the few oil blotches on it were anything to go by. But considering Pandora standards it might as well be a fresh tissue.

"Thanks." She said, accepting the rag as she wiped her mouth. "Go ahead, make a wisecrack."

"Naw, wouldn't be fair considering I did the same thing after killing one of these things the first time. . . Well, the second time since I didn't stick around for the first time." Kai said as he stood and offered a hand up that she accepted. "For now, let's just find a place to hide for a minute and take stock of damages." Kai said as he pointed to DT, who had his right arm still in hand.

"Oh, almighty robot policeman! DT your arm!" Gaige cried as she finally noticed DT's damage.

"Now's not the time, let's go." Kai said.

They quickly managed to find a small work shed near what appeared to be a field repair site for mining machines. The motley crew of adventures took cover and quickly started to take stock of their situation and make repairs.

"Oh, you poor baby." Gaige said as she looked over DT's separated arm. As she looked over her robot, Kai was pulling out the gear he managed to grab. After several minutes he lets out a dejected sigh.

"Just great."

"What's up?" Gaige asked as she secured a sparking wire in DT's shoulder.

"We lost a good amount of my supplies."

Gaige stopped and looked back. "How bad?"

"Well, I lost a several cans of food and some ration bars. Giving us about a day and a half, two if we ration or find some more rakks or something to cook. However, my stove and pot were left in that cave, meaning it would be hard to cook anything we caught. We also lost some utensils, the camping lamp I had, and both of our sleeping bags."

"Great so if we have to spend the night here again it will be in the dirt."

"Ehhh, yes and or no…" Kai said hesitantly with a minor blush.

Gaige looked at him again. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's just…" Kai started to say when he turned to her only to stop as he noticed something. "You're bleeding." Kai stated.

Gaige blinked and looked over herself. "I don't see any blood or even feel anything."

"Because your A, a redhead, meaning biologically you have a higher pain tolerance." Kai said as Gaige looked at her hand in contemplation. "Which is why you were so nonchalant about cutting your arm off and then able to build your arm. B, you're still probably hopped up on adrenaline so that dulls things." He said as he got up. "And as for where it's dripping, it's down the back of your right leg." Kai says as he pulls the medkit from the pile of supplies. "Alright, drop the skirt." He said flatly.

It took several seconds for the words to register in Gaige's mind. "Wha- EXCUSE ME!?" She cried in embarrassment and shock as she grabbed the back of her skirt. It was then she noticed a wet feeling on her hand along with some torn parts of her skirt.

"Gaige you're bleeding, covered in dirt and we are currently lost in an underground cave with all kinds of nasty organisms. We need to check, clean, and seal that wound ASAP. Now drop'em." Kai said as he pulled out a bottle and splashed his hands with what she guessed was sanitizer of some kind.

"Look, it's just a little blood. It's not a big deal." Gaig e tried to deflect.

"That's exactly what pvt. Jimmy said before his wound turned out to be infected with a skin-eating disease." Kai said as he washed his hands.

"Who Jimmy?"

"A squadmate I knew for two weeks back on Polaris before he kicked the bucket. Now as I said, drop'em."

"Kai, it's fine! I'm sure I can do it myself." Gaige said with her hands up in a placating manner. Kai however just shot her a deadpan look before drifting to her right hand. Gaige blinked and looked at her hand only to see it covered in blood. Her blood. A lot of her blood.

"Wh- what?" Gaige asked before she suddenly felt lightheaded and the world started to spin.

"Gaige? GAIGE!" She heard Kai yell as he rushed towards her just before her vision turned to black.

X-X-X

Back in Sanctuary, the Vault hunters had all dragged themselves back into the Raider's command center where Roland and Mordecai were waiting.

"Damn, you guys look like you've been down range at a New Kentucky gun show." Mordecai said before taking another swig of a beer he had.

"And you look like you were dragged from the trash pile of a college fraternity after a party in trash compactor." Axton retorted.

"Alright, alright, not in the mood. Jeez." Mordecai said as he tossed the commando a beer.

"So your mission was successful. I take it." Roland asked.

"Yeah, we nicked several flight computer processors from the first… and easiest camp, and several dozen gyroscopes from the other camps. . . Couldn't we just, I don't know, steal the gyros from some old claptrap units?"

"We could, you happen to know where we can find a junkyard full of claptrap units?" Roland asked rhetorically.

"Yes/BUTTER!" The Vault Hunters said surprising Roland.

"Claptraps home outside of Liarsburg is literally built out of dead Claptraps, you can't walk five steps without tripping on one." Maya said.

"Huh… Will have to look into that… Good job anyways. Go rest up, you've all earned it." Roland said.

Everyone was about to leave when Moxxi suddenly came storming in. "Roland, where is he?" She said with anger.

"What do you want, woman? I haven't done anything!" Mordecai said.

Moxxi turned to the sniper and scouled. "Not you bird brain! Kai! He was supposed to be with me for my first ultrasound appointment today."

"Why him?" Mordecai asked.

"Because he's my new child's godfather." Moxxi said matter of factly. "Now where is he?"

"He and Gaige went out on a job yesterday." Roland said.

"What was the job?" Moxxi asked with an ice-cold glare which made Roland nervously tug at his sweater's collar.

"I…They never told me. It wasn't a Raiders job." Moxxi just glared at the man who nervously gulped. "Ha- have you tried calling them?" He asked.

"Oh, of course, why didn't I think about- OF COURSE I TRIED TO CALL THEM!" Moxxi yelled.

Lilith came rushing in after hearing the commotion. "What the hell is going on in here, are we under attack?"

"Lil, have you seen the love birds!?" Moxxi grilled, taking Lilith aback at her anger and forcefulness.

"Uuh, no, I haven't seen them since Monday."

"Well, if you haven't seen them, Roland hasn't seen them, and these idiots haven't seen them then WHO HAS! BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE MISSING TWO VAULT HUNTERS! ONE BEING MY CHILD GODFATHER!" Moxxi yelled. "NOW FIND THEM!"

"Immediately Roland, Mordecai, and several other raiders in the room began sending out calls and other commands. After five minutes a raider shakes his head in defeat as Roland lets out a sigh. Nobody has seen them and we called all raiders and other allies. "It appears we do seem to have two MIA Vault Hunters." Roland said.

"No shit." Moxxi said as she started pacing about. She then looked over to Maya who gulped at the piercing gaze she was receiving. "The other day, you said Gaige has a New-U account, right?"

"Yeah, we all do." Maya said. "Well, everyone but Kai. Why?"

"Then what's Gaige's code, we can ping her location with any respawn towers close to her." Moxxi asked. Maya opened her mouth to say something but paused when she realized she didn't know. She looked to her teammate who all also shrugged or shook their heads.

". . . Anyone?" Moxxi asked looking about with an icy glare.

"I do." A timid voice said as a familiar hologram image appeared on the table.

Moxxi turned to Angel with a calculated look that Angel could feel.

"So you must be this Angel I've been hearing about." Moxxi said as she looked at the screen.

"Yes." The hologram answered.

"The same Angel who sold us to Handsome Jack." Moxxi said with a bit more anger seeping into her voice.

". . . Not by choice." Angel said meekly.

"Right, we can talk about that later, now do you have the codes?"

"I was the one to make them."

"Good, find them." Moxxi ordered.

"Yes ma'am!" The screen changed to show a map of Pandora as dozens of numbers ran across a side window. The scan stopped after twenty seconds as a large X flashed on the screen. This occurred three more times until Moxxi lost her patience.

"Well?" Moxxi asked tapping her foot impatiently.

"Um, it appears that the signal was… currently out of range."

"That's not good." Maya said.

"So what now." Salvador asks only for everyone else to look at him as if he was mad.

"What now you ask…" Moxxi said as the temperature of the room seemed to drop to below freezing. "I tell you what now." Moxxi said as she turned to everyone. "You're going to get your asses in gear and FIND MY HONORARY LITTLE BROTHER AND HIS ADORABLE GIRLFRIEND SO THAT I MAY HAVE CUTE AND ADORABLE NIECES AND NEPHEWS TO SPOIL IN THE FUTURE WHO CAN PLAY WITH MY CHILD TO BE OR ELSE I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE, FEED YOU TO THE THRESHERS, AND ONCE THOSE DAMN WORMS HAVE SCRAPED EVERY SPEC OF FLESH OFF OF YOU I WILL PERSONALLY RAZE ALL OF THE WORMS IN UNHOLY HELLFIRE!"

Moxxi's anger was clear as she was heaving for air, while everyone else had back up to the walls. Even Angel was ducked down in her hologram window to try and look small. It was quiet for a few more seconds before she looked around. "Well… GET TO WORK!"

Everyone bolted from the room either by the door or the balcony for those trapped on the other side leaving Moxxi and Angel. Moxxi gave the screen a glare making Angel even more worried. "I- I'll start a round the clock scan of the respawn network miss Moxxi. . ." Angel said before flickering away. Leaving Moxxi alone as she looked at the map table.

Moxxi just stared at the map of Pandora and let out a worried sigh. "I hope you two are okay."

X-X-X

Gaige's mind was slowly coming to as she felt woozy. "Ugh, what happ- OW!" Gaige yelped.

"Hold her still DT!" Gaige heard Kai bark as she felt DT immediately pin her down with his large claw as she struggled while Kai was pinning her legs. "HEY! What are you doing!?" Gaige screamed in panic.

"Trying to stitch your ass cheek back together! Now hold still." Kai said.

"Stitch my ass!?" Gaige said in shock. "What happened to my ass?"

"Well after you fainted-"

"I- I didn't faint." Gaige interrupted.

"After you fainted from blood loss I checked you over and found this in your right ass cheek." Gaige stopped squirming as a small jagged piece of metal about the size of a playing card landed several inches in front of her face. A small, flat, and partially bloody piece of jagged metal that Gaige picked up and looked at. "Wait, what? OWW!" Gaige yelped as Kai poked her ass with the stitching needle.

"Sorry, but I'm out of painkillers. As for when you must have been hit when we blew the entrance during our escape. Side note, your leggings are ruined. Sorry."

Gaige's face went nuclear as she realized Kai was both feeling and seeing her ass. "If- If you say one word about-"

"I won't, I won't… Although this will technically be the second time this week I've seen you in your underwear." Kai said with a cheeky laugh as Gaige let out a groan of both embarrassment and pain as Kai pulled the last stitch through and pulled it tight. Gaige winced at the pain and odd feeling. "Alright, hold still. I need to clean the surrounding wound before I patch it. Also, eat this. Kai tossed DT a small pack which the bot caught and presented to his maker.

What she saw was a small plastic pack with a yellow pill in it. "What is this?"

"Blood booster. It will increase your blood production, and help increase your natural healing."

"Couldn't you have just shot me up with an insta-health and avoided the stitches?" Kai paused for a second which Gaige noticed. "What's wrong?"

Kai was quiet for a few more seconds before continuing to clean. "We only have one full insta-health, and a cracked vile which I just used most of."

"What!? How?"

"Well, the one I keep in my side pack for immediate use was crushed at some point today. Although I was able to save and use a little bit of that fluid to somewhat patch you. As for all the backups I have in my ECHO, Sal, and Ax apparently decided to raid my medkit the other day after the first rakk swarm attacked us since Zed was still overloaded with wounded. Sal was at least nice enough to leave a note. . . in crayon, to let me know who I have to kill as payback." Kai muttered.

"So you are saving the last one since you don't have a New-U?" Gaige stated.

"Gaige, with the way you described that tenzer field, then something tells me that New-U is out of reach for you as well."

Gaige thought about it until she buried her head in her arms and groaned in defeat. "Which means if something major happened we only have the one vile. Fuck, I hate it when your right." Gaige moaned. "So how bad is my injury?"

"Well unless we can get you to Zed's in the next day, this will leave a new scar that is gonna stick out when you wear a bikini." Kai said cheekily as his mind started mentally screaming at him.

'WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING SAY THAT!?' His mind yelled.

'I don't know, it just slipped out.'

'Slipped out! Are you trying to ruin our chances with her you IDIOT!' Another facet of his mind yelled out in anger.

Meanwhile in Gaige's own mind. 'Bikini!? Has he thought about me in a swimsuit before!?'

'Someone is getting some attention.' Said another Gaige voice that sounded much more flirtatious.

'WHAAAAT! NO! NO, NO, NO! It had to have been a joke right? I'm just a stick compared to the other women around here like, Maya, Lilith, and Moxxi's girls.' Gaige thought.

'Oh come on, don't sell us short girl, we might not be packing the sexy but we are packing the cuteness.' Gaige's face started burning red as Kai changed the subject.

"As for your current physical condition, I suggest no running for any long periods or you might pull the stitches."

". . . Huh, I figured I wouldn't be able to run at all, let alone walk at a decent pace."

"Yeah well, I luckily have gotten some very in-depth experience with field patching. . . Lots of practice in way worse conditions."

"That sounds like an interesting story." Gaige said.

"Yeah, and about 3 horrific months of trauma in the Osocord mountains during the middle of winter." Kai muttered grimly. "But that's for another time. Go ahead and try to get up. Slowly." Gaige rolled over and slowly pushed herself to a sitting position with a groan. she saw Kai putting the supplies back with several bloodied rags near him. "How does it feel?" He asked.

"It hurts. It feels like I have a bad paper cut and then was hit by a baseball from a pitching machine set to full power." Gaige said as she adjusted herself.

Kai paused for a second. "That is. . . Oddly specific." Kai said.

"Again, Marcie was a bitch." Gaige answered as she stood up.

"Crap basket." Kai muttered which gained her attention. She saw him looking away from her with a slight tinge of red on his face.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I think I might have accidentally ruined a bit more of your outfit in my panic to help you.

Gaige blinked before looking behind her to see part of her skirt on the back right was ripped and tattered to the point it didn't hide much of her. Gaige let out a little, to Kai's mind anyway, a cute yet embarrassed/depressed whine. "I can't go outside like this."

Kai was quiet for several seconds until he stood up and started undoing his belt. Gaige froze for several seconds upon seeing this before whipping around. Her face glows crimson as her mind once again goes into overdrive.

'WH- WHA WHAT IS HE DOING!' One of the voices in Gaige's mind screamed.

'I DON'T KNOW! How did we go from a wounded ass to him taking off his- NO! No no no no no! There has to be an explanation for this.' Gaige mentally yelled.

'Oh holy policeman… this is just like the start of the cheerleader scene in Tentacle Fury 9 before the monster breaks into the tool shed and kills her jock boyfriend while they were doing the deed and then- *WHACK!* OWW! What the hell girl!?'

'We do not speak of that movie here and especially that scene.' Said another mental Gaige. 'Poor Trama is already balling her eyes out from yesterday's encounter and has locked herself in a room in the back again. We don't need another trigger!"

"Here." Kai suddenly says.

Gaige stiffens as her mind goes quiet. Hesitantly she slowly turns to see Kai standing near her… with his pants still on, although he had his head turned away from her. She then noticed him holding out something in his hand. It took her a second to realize it was his belt cape.

". . . You're giving me your skirt?"

"IT'S NOT A SKIRT!" Kai yelled in irritation as Gaige let out a little hesitant laugh.

"But what am I supposed to do with this?"

"What are you- Isn't it obvious, I want you to wear it! Look, the back of your skirt is destroyed. Use this to cover up the damage. . . Unless you want to run around and let the world see your purple-striped cladded ass."

Gaige who was once again blushing a storm, slowly takes the article of clothing with a small thanks. Kai then immediately moved to the pile of gear and started packing up the gear he had been sorting with his back turned to her. Gaige looked down at the article of clothing as she rubbed her right thumb over the material. "This feels surprisingly nice." She muttered quietly.

Meanwhile, as Kai was putting the supplies away there was an argument in his mind.

'Why would you say that, AGAIN!?'

'Say what?'

'Why did you mention her badonkadonk again!'

'I, I wasn't thinking ahead. . . Also, badonkadonk?'

'Of course you weren't! You were thinking with your dick!'

*WHAM!*

'OW! WHAT THE HELL MAN!?'

'You know damn well that's not what we were thinking.' Another mental part of his mind yelled.

'He was thinking about how cute her badonkadonk is. It's just a health appreciation.'

'Why is my brain like this.'

'Because you're still a hormonal teenager who hasn't ever had a girlfriend.'

'Fuck you!'

'Fuck me? I am you!'

"Alright, done." Gaige said. Kai turns his head and blinks. Gaige's body was facing him but she had twisted her hips and torso so she could check out the kama which was draped firmly over her posterior which she had jutted out. "It's a little heavy but surprisingly comfy. What's this thing made of?" Gaige asks, giving her butt a little shake.

All of Kai's thoughts as he stares at the sight. All the voices in Kai's head are also quiet for the next several seconds. '. . . I want to tap that.'

'DUDE!?' Kai mentally yelled at his mind.

'Hey, you didn't deny it.'

Meanwhile, Gaige who had been looking at her new accessory looked to Kai only to see him with a red face as he turned his face.

'Wait was he checking me out?'

'Well, you did just give him a nice little booty shake while wearing his clothing. *Sigh* Classic rom-com trope.'

'. . . I did WHAT!?'

Before Gaige could think anymore about it the shack started to shake as a loud angry shrill was heard outside. Kai immediately picked up the last remaining gear and shoved it into his ECHO. "We need to go."

Gaige nodded as she pulled out her Rogue Smuggler as they rushed away from the noise. Kai was the first through the door only to immediately stop, causing Gaige to crash into him. "OWW. Kai what the-." She started to say as she peaked around him and was immediately left speechless and fearful. Surrounding the shed were over a hundred spiderants of various sizes and colors, including several small car-sized ones that Gaige figured could be considered badasses. Among them were several varkids as well.

"Why aren't they moving? Kai asked in a low voice as he held his Clementine at the ready. Gaige noted that fact as well, seeing how the spiderants had yet to attack. It was then she noted something, each of the large ants had a metal antenna sticking out of their head. "Why do they have an antenna?" Gaige asked which caused Kai to look again.

"That is a good question… One that I don't think I'll like."

"Of course, you're not going to like the answer boy!" Came a nasally voice from above. They both looked up to see an orange adult Varkid with green stripes fly down in front of them. They both noted that it also had an antenna in its head. Hanging below it was a camera and an ECHO device. "Welcome to the underworld of Pandora. If you are wondering who I am, I am the all-powerful, all-knowing King Marvin!"

The teens were both quiet for several seconds. "Really, King Marvin? That's the best you could come up with?" Gaige asked.

"Well, I'm not one for coming up with names, and all the other names I tried coming up with sounded like something an edgy teenager would come up with or are just plain stupid. I admit the name is a little stupid, but it's simple, you know."

"Point made. But what the actual fuck and why are you contacting us?" Kai asked.

"It's simple really. You have something I want, something I need to finish my project. If you give me that which I seek, I shall provide you the means to leave this underworld."

"And what is it you want?" Gaige probed.

"Why the little crystalisk you have recently found. I need it for a project."

"You want a small defenseless creature? . . . Why?" Gaige asked in shock, only to then pause for a second. "Wait, where is the little guy."

"Iolite's is hiding in your hood."

"My hood?" Gaige asked as she suddenly felt movement in her hood and looked over her shoulder to see the little crystalisk popping out of her hood jittering as if it was afraid. "Why are you in there?"

Kai looks back to the varkid. "She makes a point though, what would you want specifically with the little crystalisk… Specifically our crystalisk." Kai asked.

"Well, considering how the plot goes I'm sure if I don't tell you then you'll just conveniently find the answer. Anywho, While I now go by King Marvin, you may know me as Dr. Marvin Clukwalski."

"Wow, and we thought King Marvin was bad, ay Kai… Kai?" Worried Gaige looked to Kai only to step back. His expression was that of pure rage.

"You!… YOUR ONE OF THE ASSHOLES WHO DEVELOPED THE WEAPON THAT KILLED MY PLANET!" Kai yelled causing several of the spiderants and varkid to jump in surprise.

"Yes, yes, boo hoo. Like you're the first person whose planet was wiped out. Granted I was part of the team that instigated the death of your backwater hodunk but that's water under the bridge."

"WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE!? YOU HELPED TO COMMIT A GENOCIDE FOR PROFIT!" Kai yelled with rage.

"Oh, quit your temper tantrum child."

"CHILD!" Kai yelled back only for Marvin to continue.

"Look, here is the situation. You are trapped in my domain, and I have the only means to escape this pit of misery. A Hyperion worker pod with just enough space for two. . . If you two hormonal teens don't mind squeezing in."

"What!?" Gaige yelped in embarrassment at the implication.

"And as I stated before, all it will cost you is that little purple crystalisk. . . Now what do you say, a guaranteed safe ride out for one little creature."

"Nice of you to give us such an offer when you have an army of creatures you obviously controlling surrounding us." Kai muttered loud enough to be heard by the ECHO.

"Now, now, I'm a fair man, so I'll let you two have. . . Ooooh, let's say twenty-four hours in this hell to take my offer. If you're still alive by that point and haven't agreed to my offer… Then my minions here will have free rain to… Feast on you."

Kai just stared at the ECHO on the Varkid's neck. "Like hell, I'm going to help you, Dr. Clukwalski."

"IT'S KING MARVIN!"

"I don't fucking care!"

"Why would you even need this little guy?" Gaige asked.

"I'm glad you asked. It's simple really, it's because I want out of this story!"

". . . Story?" Both teens asked.

"This fanfiction that is our existence! You see, I found this magic medallion when I first came here. You both already know all about magic after meeting Sam."

"How do you know about Sam?" Kai demanded.

"I'm getting there. So this medallion lets me see into the fourth wall of this world and to other worlds! Our lives are nothing but the imaginations of some no-name fanfiction writer, based on a video game series that I think is meh, but I live in it so… Yeah! I have seen how this story is playing out and it does not bode well for my favor. I will not just be some minor villain used to bridge a minor plot point for your story Kilo! You don't even really need this part, this could have been a side quest story! But noooo, you just had to have a way to have the dolts fall down here! . . . Although they did find the last piece I need for my creation."

The two teens stared at the varkid in mixed anger and confusion, both thinking what was he talking about and who was Kilo? "I'm confused." Gaige said.

"To dumb it down for you plebians, I have found an ancient magic relic similar to that. . . Sword, gun, ice maker thing that your friend Sam guards, or that necklace that Dirk had. It lets me see what other worlds see of our world and in return, I can see into theirs."

"What?" Both teens asked.

"And you two are the main characters of this fan-made fiction based on that stupid video game!"

"With your little friend there I'll have all the parts I need to escape this existence, escape this MAD dimension, and take over the weak world of this world's creator on the other side with my Varkid and spiderant army!" Marvin yelled as he started laughing maniacally.

"Why do we get all the insane bad guys?" Gaige asked.

"It's gotta be something in the water." Kai muttered before looking at the varkid again. "Look, Marvin, I don't care whatsoever about your delusions, the fact is you can just shove your deal where the sun don't shine and rotate on it! We're not giving you Iolite."

There was a sigh on the other side of the ECHO. "I see, well I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering how you're written. I will honor my previous offer and give you the twenty-four hours I had to change your mind… after which my minions will have a delightful lunch."

"Like hell that's gonna happen! If you want the crystalisk so badly why don't you come out here and get it yourself!"

"I won't fall for such a simple bait. If you want to talk about deals, just give me a yell… I'll be reading along." With that, all the spiderants retreated or dug back underground as the varkid flew off into the sky.

"GET BACK HERE!" Kai yelled as he moved to chase the varkid only for Gaige to quickly grab the back of his uniform and jerked him back.

"What are you doing!?"

"What's it look like? I'm going after one of the bastards who offed my planet!" Kai yelled.

"Kai, that is stupid!"

"How is it stupid!"

"Because we're trapped in the middle of a hostile underground environment with hundreds of creatures ranging from spiderants to… Hentai tentacles creatures" Gaige said with a shiver. "All out to kill us, while we have a limited supply of ammo and you want to just go storm his… We don't even know what he has, a fort, a castle, a bunker with no intel! How will this help us!?" Gaige yelled as Kai stopped.

Gaige moved in front of Kai and placed her right hand on his chest. "Kai, I understand you want to avenge your people and friends, but we're in no condition to fight. We don't have the resources, we're not in the best health, hell we don't even have a guaranteed way out of here."

Kai let out a growl of anger before calming down. "Fine. Let's get moving." He said as he walked away from where the Varkid went. "So where to now?"

The elevator shaft, Kai said pointing to the shaft in the distance. "That's the clearest way out have. Either we can get the lift working or we can tap into a comm box and send a signal."

"And how will we get there? It's not exactly a straight shot from here to there."

The little Crystalisk suddenly shuffled around vigorously in Gaige's hood. Gaige picked the Crystilisk out of her hood and held it up." What's up, little guy?" The little creature jumped out of her hands and moved several feet from them. After looking about for a few seconds it points in a direction.

"You know the way?" Kai asked. The crystalisk hopped up and down in excitement.

"Alright, lead the way Iolite." Kai said as they walked after their new friend.

"You've been calling the little guy Iolite, what is that?"

"Iolite is a type of gemstone that's similar in color to our friend here." Kai said, mentioning the crystalisk. "Iolites are also known as Viking compasses, they would use the stones as glare guards so that they could navigate using the sun. So considering this guy's color and how it's helping us navigate it seems like a fitting name."

"Huh, neat and fitting."

It was quiet for a minute until Gaige spoke up again. "So, what's the deal with this Marvin guy?" She noted Kai slightly cringe at the name which quickly tried to hide. He was the radiologist who concocted the actual radiation part of the weapon that killed my home. Apart from Handsome Jack, who signed off on making and using such a weapon Marvin has the most blood on his hands."

Gaige was silent for a minute as she processed that as they continued their walk. "So then who are the other scientists?" Gaige asked.

Kai was silent for a moment before a distant but worrying close spiderants screech broke the silence. "I'll explain later. For now, we need to keep quiet and get out of here." Kai said. Gaige nodded even though she felt disappointed that he didn't answer her question.

Unfortunately, the next hour and a half consisted of hard climbs through tight spaces, thorn-ridden vegetation, and several skirmishes with spiderants and threshers to Gaige's horror. All the while Iolite kept leading them around the larger nests, and terrain hazards while moving them closer to the elevator shaft. That was until it stop.

The teens were standing outside of what looked like a Dahl warehouse built into the side of one of the many rock formations. On the opposite side, the building was just on the edge of the acid lake. with a broken open door. Iolite was nervously shaking as it stared at the door. What's up Iolite, do we need to go through that door?" Gaige asked. The little creature gave a small hop.

Kai stared at the door for a moment. "Is there something dangerous in there?" Again the crystalisk hopped. "Is there any other way around?" This time the little critter gave a low whine and jittered. "Well fuck." Kai sighed.

"What now?" Gaige asked.

"Stay here and watch Iolite, I'm going to glance inside." Kai said as he slowly moved to the door. It took him a minute but he finally got reached it and put his back to one of the large metal doors.

Kai looked in and paled at what he saw. The building was some kind of abandoned ore warehouse, but it now served as a massive varkid nest. Dozens of what Kai guessed were eggs were glued to the walls. Around various places were sleeping Varkid and gustation pods for adult Varkids. He served the building again and noticed another large door that was barely open on the opposite wall, leaving about fifty meters from one side to the other. Slowly Kai backed away from the door before slowly making it back to Gaige.

"Well?"

"It's a varkid nest and a big one at that." Kai said. He was quiet for a moment before looking at the crystalisk. "Are you sure there's no other way around?"

Iolite quickly dug itself into the ground to hide, where it started to shake in terror. "Well, that's not a good sign." Gaige said as she pulled the Crystalisk from the dirt and picked it up. Any idea on how will get through this."

Kai was silent for a minute before he opened his ECHO and pulled out an old Crimson Lance rucksack. He then started digging through it and pulling out random things. Toothpaste, utensils, fuzzy dice, an eight-track tape. Gaige raised an eyebrow when he pulled out and set aside a small bundle of magazines with scantily clad women on the covers. "Kai… What is this?" Gaige asked with a slight hint of ire in her voice which Kai missed.

"Riess's old rucksack. I had thrown it in my ECHO after Moxxi found she was pregnant and decided to clean out Riess's room to keep any mementos he may have had. I just never checked it since… well you know." Kai stated as he dug through the bag.

Gaige's mind flashed to the day where she first saw Kai and how he had to see a man he called a brother bloodied and dying. Then remebered how he had to tell Riess girlfriend that he was dead, and only after a brutal talk down, did he finally let his emotions out. Then Gaige's mind reminded her of how he reacted to the secret of Angel, how them not telling him, or anyone else for that matter nearly destroyed everything he loved again. It still made Gaige wonder where they were potentially at relationship-wise.

'Oooooh, so it's a relationship now. Does he know that?' Said the flirtatious side of her mind.'

'J- Just shut up!' She thought.

Just then Kai's face lit up as he removed a small cloth case which he quickly opened and pulled out a futuristic pair of binoculars. "Shit Riess! You had a fucking set of Dahl mark 5 tactical binocs." Kai said in excitement as he quickly looked through the lenses. "Damn, this is nice!"

"Binoculars? How are binoculars going to help us get through a Varkid nest?" Gaige asked.

"They won't, it's just an unexpected find. This is like the Swiss army knife of binoculars." He stated as he placed the binoculars next to himself before he dug into the bag again. The next item he pulled out looked like an old-school smoke grenade that was painted orange and yellow. "Perfect." Kai said as he looked over the grenade.

"A smoke grenade?"

"Dahl military grade pheromone blocker, if we cover ourselves with this the Varkid will ignore us. . . So long as we don't make too much noise." Then his face fell. "Fuck."

"What?" Gaige asked as he held up the canister showing… "An expiration date?"

"The one issue with these things is that they have a shelf life of just a few years… This one is a year over."

Gaige looked at it. "Will it still work?"

Kai worked the math in his head before shrugging. "Maybe, will have to be quick about getting through the warehouse, but will also have to be careful. While the blocker will make us not register as hostile or even there to their senses, if we agitate the nest in any way will be swarmed."

"What choice do we have." Gaige said with a shrug. She then noticed Kai was putting the items back into the sack, when he got to the magazines she gave him a questioning cough that got Kai's attention.

"What?" Kai asked.

"You're seriously gonna keep those?" Gaige said pointing to the magazines with a raised eyebrow.

"They're good kindling." Kai said nonchalantly as he shoved them in.

A few minutes later they found themselves outside of the door of the warehouse as Kai pulled out the grenade. "Alright, now whatever you do, we cannot speak while in there, hand motions only. Stay close and watch every step. Avoid stepping on eggs, varkids, and anything that can possibly be knocked over or make a noise."

"Got it." Gaige said with a nod.

"Iolite, that goes for you as well. . . In fact, just stay in Gaige's hood, alright." The Crystilisk seemed to nod before ducking back into Gaige's hood.

"So how's this thing supposed to work?"

"Simple." He pulled the pin and dropped the canister between them. "Don't breathe."

There was a small pop as a white mist started spewing out and engulfing them. Gaige quickly took a breath and held her nose. After a minute Kai had to let out a breath, and ended up gagging as he took a breath of mist that was still around them. "Fuck that stuff taste like shit." He looked at Gaige and was surprised to see her still holding her breath. "How long can you hold your breath?" She just shrugged.

After another minute the mist settled and Gaige took a breath. "That wasn't so bad." She said with a cheeky grin.

"Whatever." Kai said with a cheeky eye roll as he pulled out an old Dahl SMG.

"Why are you using that and not the Fast Talker?"

"Burst fire and better accuracy. If we do fight, keep your fire to short bursts." Kai moved to the edge of the door and turned to Gaige, remember, no talking. If shit hits the fan then just run for the other side and don't try to fight, and if any varkids touch you don't react."

Kai then turns and moves into the warehouse. Gaige quickly followed him in only to freeze as she found Kai not even three steps from the doorand frozen like a statue as a small varkid was crawling on his shoulder. Gaige opened her mouth but Kai held up a finger on his left hand. The Varkid crawled across his back to his other shoulder as Kai winced from its claws while it was sniffing the whole time. After a moment the varkid slowly crawled down his back and creeped down his leg before finally jumping off and crawling away. Kai glanced around before looking back and gave Gaige the follow-me motion.

They continued for the next several minutes slowly moving between debris, gestation pods, and eggs sitting on the floor. They both had moments where they would have to pause to figure out which way to go or wait for a varkid to move by. They could see hundreds of eggs and pods of various sizes sticking to the ground, walls, and almost every open surface except the path they were on. A quarter of the way through, Kai pointed out a pod that was nearly as big as a rakk hive.

Just over halfway through they were passing by a small crate when Gaige's leg bumps it. Unnoticed by either of them a metal pipe that was sitting on it slowly rolled off the side and clattered to the concrete ground with a metal ring that echoed through the warehouse. Kai whipped around and saw the pipe before looking at Gaige. Gaige just shrugged an I'm sorry look. There was a low chitter as dozens of Varkids seemed to stop and look around. Both teens just froze and held their breaths as an adult varkid flew down and looked around. The varkid looked at the teens and sniffed the air near them, not smelling anything thanks to the pheromone blocker. Slowly started to move closer to Gaige when it kicked the pipe which made the same noise as before. The bug heard this and turned its attention to the pipe, poking it and rolling it a few times and even taking a bite of it. After a minute the varkid and all the others ones lost interest as they saw the lack of a threat. With that, the varkid flew off back into the maze of columns and nesting holes. They both waited a few seconds before they each let out a quiet sigh.

"WELL THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!" They heard Marvin yell. They both turn to see a orange varkid with an ECHO device on its neck. "CAREFUL, YOU ALMOST WOKE THE NEST!" He continued to yell as the screeches of hundreds of varkids filled the building.

"RUN!" Kai yelled as they both started running for the door. They jumped over dozens of varkids as the warehouse divulged into a frenzy, many were rushing around on the ground and air in anger looking for the source of the sound, several had even begun to fight each other in the confusion.

"OH MY, YOU WOKE THE WHOLE NEST! HOPE YOU KIDS HAVE ENOUGH BUG SPRAY!" Marvin yelled. Now that they could run, the teens made it to the door in no time. Kai impacted the door expecting to push right through but it barely budged an inch open. Gaige ran up beside him as he pushed the door.

"What's wrong!?"

"The door is stuck!" Kai yelled as he tried to shove it with his shoulder. "Something is jamming it on the other side. Kai activated his wrist holo blade which started to glow a blinding bright blue. Kai then shoved at the door in an attempt to cut through it only for the blade to bounce off. "What!?" Kai said as he tapped the door. "Oh don't tell me."

"HA HA HA! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU FORGOT THAT DAHL MAKES MOST OF THEIR SHIT OUT OF SHIP-GRADE TITANIUM! THAT COULD BE VERY… PROBLEMATIC!" Marvin's voice boomed over the buzzing of the varkids as Gaige noticed that the large pod they saw earlier was starting to pulse.

"Kai!" Gaige asked with worry as she knocked a varkid away.

Kai meanwhile took his blade and shoved it into the door gap near one of the hinges. To his relief, it started burning through the hinges. "Dahl always skimps on something." Kai muttered. "Any chance you can summon DT to help?" He asked as he tossed Hati out to cover them.

Gaige summons the bot who sees what is happening. He's about to move to engage when Kai says. "No D, I need you to laser the other hinge." Kai said as he continued to work on the lower hing.

DT looked to Gaige who with Hati was watching for any varkids getting too close. "You heard him D!" DT immediately moved closer to the door and started cutting through the door. Try not to shoot them, Gaige, it looks like the repellent is still working so long as we don't attract attention."

"Seriously? Fuck!" Gaige said as she blasted an Adult varkid.

The next minute was intense as Gaige and Hati ripped and killed any varkids that started to get near, being careful to not attract any attention of the frenzy. "How much longer?" Gaige asked as she put several rounds into an adult varkid flying towards Hati. "They're starting to get feisty!"

"I need another two minutes at least."

"Two minutes!? How are we supposed to keep them all off for two minutes!?"

"I don't know, improvise!" Kai said as he focused on the hinge. just then the large pod they had seen burst open and a super badass varkid fell out.

Gaige gawked at the badass before letting out a groan. "Improvise he says." Gaige mutters as she shoots another varkid. Gaige looked around and noticed some old pipes nearby with a valve on it that was pointing towards the approaching varkids. "Improvise." She muttered. Seeing nothing to lose she rushed over to the pipe and grabbed the valve wheel. With a bit of effort and her robot arm's extreme strength, she forced the valve open, causing to her surprise a torrent of green gas shot out at high pressure towards the hoard. Every varkid including the super badasses immediately moved back or was engulfed by the gas. Those caught in the gas began to wail in agony.

Kai looks back only to have his eyes widen upon seeing the gas spilling out of the pipe. "Gaige what did you do!?" Kai yelled.

"There's too many to shoot so I improvised."

"And what kind of gas is that!?"

"I don't know, it doesn't say on the pipe it just says." Gaige freezes as she notices a piece of gunk from what must have been an old varkid egg. She brushed it away to reveal both an explosive and flammable marker that would be seen on hazardous materials. "Oh crap baskets." Gaige muttered before grabbing the valve and trying to shut it. "Come on you stupid piece of-"

*SNAP*

Gaige stumbled a little before getting her balance, she then noticed the broken off valve wheel in her hands. "Umm, Kai!" Gaige yelled.

But Kai had already seen this and immediately hit a few buttons on his arm computer. He winced as the holographic blades shifted from bright blue to blinding white before he immediately thrush the blade at the hinge. To Gaige's amazement, it sliced through the remaining hinge like butter just as DT finished his hinge, making the door shift. Seeing this DT handed his loose arm to Kai before he immediately grabbed the door with his left hand and ripped it off. DT flung the door across the room where it landed on several Varkids which enraged the super badass.

"GO! GO! GO!" Kai screamed as Gaige rushed through the door, nearly tripping on a pile of junk that had been blocking the door. Kai, Hati, and DT followed through just as the massive varkid launched itself through the gas only to ram head first into the door frame, impacting the frame with a thunderous thud.

Gaige had stopped to gloat at the now trapped varkid which was now ramming the wall, and shaking the building. "HA! Not so tough now pea brai- WOAH!" Gaige yelled as Kai scooped her up in his arms and kept running. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Getting as far from that fucking time bomb as fast as possible, because one of two things are going to happen. Either that varkid is going to bust through that wall and chase us down, or the air and gasses will mix to the point something makes that place explode!"

At that same moment, the super badass varkid rammed the wall again causing several metal beams to fall and hit a metal container letting off several small sparks. But it was all that was needed as a second later.

*BOOM!*

A massive explosion had thrown the teens and Deathtrap a dozen meters as the entire warehouse was engulfed in a firestorm with burning Varkids raining down around them. It took a minute but the teens got up to see the warehouse was now nothing but an inferno.

"Well, if it didn't look like hell before, it does now." Gaige said as Iolite poked out of her hood.

"Personally, I think it could be more on fire." Came Marvin's voice as the controlled varkid landed near them. "But then again, I digr-"

*BANG*

A single bullet ripped through the ECHO and buried itself in the now screeching varkid as an acid coated round cooked its insides. "Just shut UP!" Kai yelled as he double-tapped the bug in its head. Kai holstered his gun"You okay?" Kai asked looking at Gaige who was lying on her back.

"Depends, is everything supposed to hurt?"

"Come on he said as he held his right hand out. We need to get to cover so I can check your wound." He said as he pulled her up. "And check my own." He said as he started messing with his left glove.

"Wait, your own? Where were you inj- OH MY ROBOT POLICEMAN!" Gaige screamed as Kai pulled the fingerless glove off. The back of his hand and knuckles were covered in second-degree burns. "What happened!?" Gaige said in a panic.

"Cover first." Kai said with a wince, as he flexed his hand. "Then explanation."

Five minutes later the pair were taking cover under a rock overhang. Gaige was helping to wrap Kai's hand after washing it to Kai's screams of bloody murder. They had used last bit of the insta-health they had from the broken vile and then coate what was left with silver sulfadiazine which Kai had in his medkit. As Gaige slowly wrapped his hand she asked. "So what did you do to cause this?"

"I cut all the limiters for my holoblades. Essentially I over-clocked the emitter to the point it made the blade as hot as plasma for a few seconds." Kai said as he winced.

Gaige looked between Kai and the discarded remains of his holo blade emitter as she tied off the wrap. "That's cool, why don't you use it more often?"

"Gaige, you're smart enough to get this, what happens when skin gets close to something really hot."

"Well duh, it starts to bur… ooooh. Stupid question."

"Says the girl who thought it was a good idea to pop open a gas line."

"I thought it was water." Gaige said meekly.

Kai gave her a side stare and asked. "Gaige, why would you assume it's water?"

"I don't know." Gaige shrugged.

Kai snorted. "Seriously Gaige, look around you. What screams safe piping around here?" Kai said as he sat down on a semi-clean-looking stone slab.

"Fuck you." Gaige muttered as she sat down on the stone next to Kai with a wince.

"How's the ass?" Kai asked.

"Throbbing in pain, but I don't think I opened it."

"Good. Let's rest here for a few minutes." Kai said as he pulled out a ration bar which he split into two big halves and a small cube. He tossed the cube to Iolite who had been playing with some pebbles, excitedly, the little crystalisk quickly ran over and started eating the piece as Kai gave Gaige the other half.

"Thanks." Gaige said before taking a bit into the bitter bar to her distaste. "So, what do you think everyone in Sanctuary is doing? . . . Do they even know we're missing?"

X-X-X

The Sanctuary command center was in complete chaos as everyone was working with a singular goal. Hoping to not come under her fury. Simmons was looking over the shoulder of another Raider in brown armor who was working at one of the consoles. "Come on Lopez, I need the computer. "

"Mira Simmons, puedo decirte ahora mismo que cualquier idea tonta que tienes para rastrear a los adolescentes no funcionará. Probablemente es algo estúpido como triangular su posición a través de sus ECHOs. El problema que olvidaste con eso, es que tendríamos que tener una conexión ECHO activa con ellos

"No Lopez, I need it so to look up their call logs."

Lopez stops and looks at Simmons with his blank helmet.

"¿Para que querrías ver su historial de llamadas?"

"To see if they left any messages." Lopez stared at the man with the hardest 'Are you serious' stares he could muster with his visor. Simmons stared back until he realized what he said. "Now that I say that out loud I realize how stupid it sounds."

"Honestamente estoy más sorprendido que entendiste lo que acabo de decir… ¿Cuándo aprendiste a hablar Truxicano?"

"You're right Lopez, it's the attempt and thought that counts. Thanks for the peep talk buddy."

Lopez stared at the man for several seconds. "Yo creyendo que uno de ustedes idiotas, podría aprender un truco nuevo."

"What are you two doing." Came a voice they all had come to fear.

"Miss Moxxi!" Simmons squeaked as he turned to face the woman. "I uh, um well you see I was going to try to look to see if the teens left any messages." Simmons said meekly.

Moxxi stared at the maroon raider for several seconds until she let out a sigh and turned to Lopez. "Lopez right?"

*"Si señora."* The robot said as he turned to Moxxi.

"What are you doing, I've seen you do nothing but work on that computer for the last hour." She looks And is he helping?"

¿El? Nada realmente. Su corazon esta en el lugar correcto pero con el estres de la situación Simmons tiende a volverse torpe con sus pensamientos. Problemas de confianza y eso. Respecto a lo que yo estoy intentando hacer, es acceder a la estación VLS que estaba en Santuario. Una vez que tenga acceso debería ser capaz de rastrear donde han estado, claro que hay algunos factores que tomar en cuenta, pero nos dará un área para buscar, o al menos una dirección, al menos."

"Lopez, I already said a triangle won't wor-"

"Simmons." Moxxi said swiftly, cutting the maroon raider off before looking back to Lopez.

"How can that work? The VLS station should have lost power after the city left?" Moxxi questioned.

"Varios ingenieros y yo mismo usamos los nucleos de varios cargadores chingones para construir una fuente de poder de respaldo para las comunicaciones y controles de lanzamiento hace unos meses, en caso de emergencia. La estación debería aun tener energia para otra semana al menos, si es que no se ha usado o la han alterado. Debido a como instalaron el sistema, y como no tenemos satélites envia un ping a cualquier dispositivo, que se conecta con el programa controlador, varias veces en un periodo de cinco minutos cada hora para mantenerse actualizado con ubicaciones. Deberiamos poder tener una idea decente a donde se fueron una vez que acceda a la bitácora del sistema. Es solo una pregunta de cuando ocurrió el ping mas reciente."

Moxxi was silent for several seconds. "How long will it take to get this done?" Moxxi asked.

"Ya estoy corriendo un programa de acceso. Solo estoy esperando-"

*DING!*

Lopez looked at the screen before typing a few things. "Tengo una respuesta, el ultimo ping fue hace dieciocho horas en… huh… aparentemente se dirigían a un lugar cerca de Tres Cuernos."

"Three Horns, what are they doing back in Three Horns?" Moxxi asked herself before looking back. "Is that accurate?"

"I can confirm it!" Came Angel's voice, as her hologram appeared on the tactical table. "After hearing what… I'm sorry, Lopez was it?"

"Si."

"Right, I compared it to tracking data from one of Hyperion's tracking satellites as Jack had to triangulate their position to grid R72 in Three Horns just a little over eighteen hours ago."

Lopez looked at a grid map. "Confirmado. Margen de error de dos kilómetros en comparación a nosotros, pero eso es por una pequeña diferencia de tiempo… ¿Porque Jack encomendo un satellite para rastrearlos?"

"He felt that he was overdue for a gloat, and wanted to cause some trouble for his least favorite Vault Hunter. Of course, the Moonshot had a program malfunction which he learned was because the system ran on Windows 95."

Lopez stared in disbelief at the projection. "Bueno, supongo que podrían haber hecho peor y haber usado Vista." Both Angel and Lopez visibly shivered at the name.

"Please never mention that cursed OS again."

"So we know where they are?" Moxxi asked.

"Generalmente hablando, si." Lopez said looking back to Moxxi.

"Good."

"Por favor recuerde señora, esto fue hace dieciocho horas y el sistema hace pings cada hora. Asi que podrían estar en cualquier parte que esta como a una hora o dos desde su ultima posición.

"Right, good work Lopez, and… Thank you, Angel." Moxxi said.

"Of course. And I'll try and shift a few spy satellites to scan the region, but I have to be careful as Jack's still here."

"Enviame la informacion a mi, ayudare a ver los escaneos. ¿hay alguna forma que puedas darme acceso?"

". . . Possibly, but it will be limited." Angel said thoughtfully.

"Wait, you all can understand all of this?" Simmons asked, astonished.

"Angel, Lopez, keep on that. Alright, everyone, you heard the bot. Our people are somewhere in the Three Horns. Start sending search parties out, anyone not on Intel needs to get out there." She looked around and saw nobody was moving.

"I SAID MOVE IT!" Moxxi screamed. Causing everyone to move. "YOU!" Moxxi said pointing to Simmons who straight up.

"Yes ma'am!" Simmons said with hope of being given an important job.

"Make yourself useful and get me some coffee." Moxxi said, causing Simmons to slouch in disappointment.

"Yes ma'am." He said with a sigh.

X-X-X

"Honestly, no idea. And since Marcus is the only person who knows where we are going I doubt anyone will realize it for a while." Kai said.

"Well, this has gotta be the worst situation we've ever been in." Gaige said.

F"or you, yes. Me, this ranks about third, maybe fourth. Will have to see how it goes."

"Wait, what was the worst?" Gaige asked.

Kai gave her a deadpan look before holding up his right fist and miming an explosion. It took Gaige a second to realize what he meant. "Right, sorry."

"It's fine." Kai said as he leaned against the stone.

"Sooooo, what's the second one then?"

Kai was silent for a moment. "Drift."

"Drift?"

"It's a small mountain top village that started as a high altitude comm station and scientific observatory till it grew into a small science village of about three hundred. Great view of the sky there… And that was the only good thing. It was cold, I'm talking about the type of cold that goes right to your bones even when you are insulated. It was also in one of those regions which will have a polar night."

"A polar night? What's that?"

"It happens on planets with a tilted axis, usually occurs towards the northern and southern hemisphere. So depending on the tilt either the sun doesn't come out for a few days to a few months. I was stationed there during one such period for a month."

"Why were you even there?"

"We were guarding an ECHO tower that was part of the New-U network. It was at the time a strategic piece of equipment. As for why it was the worse. . . Let's just say we could make a pretty damn good murder mystery movie out of the event." Kai said as he watched Iolite play in the dirt.

Reading the mood Kai had, Gaige decided to drop the subject and started checking her arm. It was a few minutes of silence until Kai asked something. "Is your arm waterproof?"

Taken aback she looked over him. "What?"

"Your robot arm, is it waterproof?" Kai asked again. "I mean, you decided to open a water valve to flood the warehouse right? You must have thought it through?"

"Of course, my arm is waterproof! It wouldn't be any good for anything if it wasn't! Actually, I built it so it would work at about 40 feet underwater."

"Oddly specific."

"Not really, it like those fancy watches they advertise which have a dive rating on it. Any good equipment has to have some kind of resistance to water otherwise it will fail every time it rains… Or take a shower… Why do you ask?"

"Just curious I guess." Kai said. "Sophisticated prosthetics were rare on Polaris."

Gaige just let out a hum of acknowledgement before looking around. "Hey, is it getting darker?"

Kai looked up at the hole above and saw that the light was barely hitting the rim of it. He even noted seeing a star or two in the sky. "Shit, it's already twilight which means we have at best three to four hours of light left. We better get going." Kai said as he got up. The last thing we need is to be stuck here in the dark."

"Yeah." Gaige said as she picked up Iolite and followed.

It took another two hours for them avoiding rivers of acid, getting turned around twice, and get into a half dozen fights with various creatures. Kai is certain Marvin was the one who triggered the fights because there was always a camera varkid flying around. However, they finally managed to make it to the lift shaft which was located in a massive circular rock cropping by what appeared to be the central hub for Dahl mining operations. Upon entering through a large reinforced door that was partially they found that the actual lift was at the top of the skeletal metal shaft. Further searching and testing showed that the controls for the lift were inoperable. So Gaige rolled up her metaphorical sleeves and started working on the controls as Kai stood guard with Iolite sitting on his head. "So what's the damage?" Kai asked after about fifteen minutes.

"It looks like it just needed a little rewiring. A varkid or something must have got in here and bit the wires, I just needed to connect them. Good news I found a powercell so power is not an issue!" Gaige said as she slid out from under the console.

"You're done already?" Kai asked as he turned and gave her a hand up, with Iolite hoping from his head to Gaige's shoulder where it crawled back into her hood.

Should be good to go." Gaige said as she turned to the control box. She activates the lift and both teens see the lift at the top starting to begin to slow descend towards them. "Ha ha! Success!" Gaige cheered.

"We should be good job Gaige. "Kai said not noticing how the small bit of praise made the redhead blush.

After a minute the lift was about halfway down when the sounds of crashing metal could be heard. The teens looked to see the lift grind to a halt as a metal beam had seemingly fallen across the shaft and blocked the lift off.

"What the hell? Those are fifty-centimeter square reinforced titanium structure beams, how could it fail like that?" Gaige asked in shock.

Kai pulled out the scanner binoculars from his pack and looked at the damaged portion. As he focused in on the damaged beam he noticed several splotches of green ozoo on the end of the beam. He then noticed about a dozen varkids crawling on part of the shaft, belching out acid which ate through the steel. He zoomed in on a varkid and noticed a control antenna sticking out of its head.

"Marvin." Kai muttered.

"Oh dear, it looks like your valiant escape plan has… fallen through." Came Marvin's voice from a nearby red adult varkid.

"You said we had twenty-four hours." Kai accused.

"I said I wouldn't attack you. I said nothing about sabotage!" Another bang was heard as a beam fell away and fell to the earth to the right of the lift shaft. Everything was quiet for several seconds before the ground started shifting. "I love a good surprise, don't you?"

"What does he mean by surprise?" Gaige asked as she held onto the lift control box for support. The earth exploded as a shape was looming over them through the dust with three glowing lights piercing the cloud.

"My new friends, meet one of the wonders of the underworld, a creature so vicious all tremble before it, all run from it, and all die by its maw. Meet the terror of the Caustic Caverns!"

The dust cleared to reveal a creature that stood a good five meters tall with a black body with yellowish-green stripes. Its body was spherical in shape with badly pocked with scars and a chipping across its harden skin. At the center was a large circular maw surrounded with teeth with the three glowing eyes space out above. It stood on two muscled clawed legs and had large arms with four clawed fingers. Coming off the back of its body were several tentacle-like appendages that each had little pincers on the ends.

"Scientifically, I called it an Obsidianae speluncae Venator, Obsidian cave hunter for you uneducated plebs. By Pandoran naming conventions it would be something like a cave bane or something. However, I call this oversized apex specimen… I just call him Franky. Say hi Franky." The creature let out a roar before it charged.

X-X-X-X-X

Torgue Mini Adventure

Chapter 10

Mission : Won't Get Fooled Again

It was still early in the afternoon as Roland looked over the photos of the Rakk nest his men found. "And you sure there's eight hives?"

"That's all we saw before Griff tripped and woke the nest."

"I didn't trip, I stumbled." Griff corrected.

"Dude you tripped and started a rock slide." Tucker retorted.

"Okay first, yes, I admit that I did accidentally cause that rock slide. Second. I. Stumbled."

"Trip, stumbled, what's the difference?" Tucker said with annoyance.

"To trip is when someone loses balance and falls because of a misstep or other interference. A stumble is the momentary loss of one's balance and almost falling. Now, did I fall?" Grif asked with barely contained anger.

"Uhhhh, no." Tucker replied.

"Then that means I stumbled." Grif said with extra enthusiasm.

Tucker just stares at the red for several seconds. ". . . How do you even know that?"

"I used to do the crossword puzzles in the Crimson Lances weekly newsletter."

The two soldiers stared at one another for several seconds.

"Still your fault." Tucker said.

"Oh screw you you damn dirty blu-"

"Enough!" Roland interrupted. "You both found the nest, that's all that matters. It's not your fault you triggered a raid, soldiers, considering the last few days the rakks would have attacked again anyway. Now go get cleaned up and have a meal and a good rest. You both earned it"

"Yes sir." Both soldiers said before leaving.

"How the f*ck do you put up with those guys?" Mister Torgue asked.

"Patients, lots of patients." Roland muttered. "Why are you even here?"

"I'm waiting around for the Vault Hunters so that we can go on a cool *ss mission as a way to show Billy the badassery that is Pandora."

"But I've already sent them out on a mission two hours ago."

Mister Torgue stared at the man for several seconds until he yelled. "DAMMIT, I miss the f*cking action! How could that have happened, I set five alarms today."

As the man ranted a message came on the holotable which Roland answered. "HQ." Roland answered.

"Get outta my face, pig!" Someone yelled in the background catching both men by surprise.

"Can it, boy." Came a voice with a slow draw to it.

"Marshall Friedman, to what do I owe the call today?"

"Apologies commander. There was an incident over on East Ring Road near Marcus's shop. Got a civilian dead and four suspects in custody. All my deputies are assisting with the current clean up right now so I need someone with the the time to assist."

"Sorry, I don't have anyone to-" Roland started to say as he looked to the ranting CEO. " . . . . Actually, I may have someone free to help."

Soon Mister Torgue, Billy, and Remmy were walking through town as people were still cleaning up the Rakks from that morning. "So what are we helping with?" Billy asked.

"Some kind of incident with a murder."

"A murder!?" Billy said.

"Yup, should be fun." Torgue said as they came around a corner.

They came to the intersection where they found a small crowd surrounding the body of a dead man. Judging from the mess and the shape of the cloth covering the body the head had been blown off. Nearby were four bald men who all looked the same. Billy guessed they were quintuples or something as well as the suspects as they were all cuffed behind their backs, although they still had their weapons and shields. Two had pistols strapped to their hips, the next had a sniper rifle on his back, while the last one had a rocket launcher. The last person was a weathered man with a light tan sheriff hat showing his badge on his head. He had on a beige shirt and a vest, with trousers and a pair of brown cow boots. He was currently arguing with the suspects.

"Get outta my face, pig."

"Can it, boy." Friedman yells.

"You got nothin' on us. Wastin' yer time." The second suspect yelled. "And 'Tween you and me marshall? It was Hark. Dude's shady as hell."

The guy with the rocket launcher sneered at the other brother. "Fuck you Shin!" The one called Hark yelled.

The farthest left man with a pistol spoke up. "Look, we both know it's Shin. Just pop him so I can get back to my weldin'."

"Fuck you guys! I was nowhere near that punk today. Maybe it was Barlo!"

"Go to hell, Shin!" The man with the rifle said.

"You gonna make me get the pepper spray? Shut up." Friedman said, with a look that just showed he was done with everything.

"Alright, alright. We get it, you're a busy man. So I confess... that you're a jackass!" Barlo says with a shit-eating grin as the others laugh.

"And really, that MacReady boy deserved it, y'know." Shin said.

"Yeah, fuck that asshole. AND FUCK YOU MARSHALL!"

"Don't make me come over there, Enius."

"Threaten us all you want Marshall we ain't gonna break you fat skag." Hark said.

"That's enough outta all of you, damn Gutter's." It was then that Mr Torgue made their presence known with a cough. The Marshall turns and looks at them, eyeing Billy for several seconds longer before speaking. "Who are you?"

"I'm Mister Torgue and this is my partner/apprentice in the way of boom, Billy the bullet!"

"Oink!"

"Oh, and our cute bad*ss mascot, Remmy the piglet!" He said pointing to the piglet.

"Oh, you're the ones Roland sent. The names Friedman, I'm the Marshall around these parts." He said offering a hand to Torgue which he took.

"So what happened here, Marshall?" Torgue asked as he nodded to the group.

"Well, one of these Gutter quadruplets pulled the trigger on that boy over there." Marshall said as he pointed to the body. "Heard a gunshot a couple of hours back. Naturally, I ignored it as we've been finding wounded rakks that people would have to put down. It wasn't until somebody came and got me. Found this boy bleedin' onto the concrete, a single bullet in his throat. And I saw one of these Gutter boys runnin' away. That's all I know, right now, more's the pity."

"Well, what do you need from us?" Billy asked.

"Consider yourselves deputized." The Marshall said as he pulled out two gold deputy badges which he handed to them. Billy took his without fanfare, but Torgue looked as giddy as a kid in a toy store with a hundred-dollar bill.

"F*CK YES! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE DEPUTIZED!" Torgue yelled. He snatched the badge out of the Marshall's hand and immediately slapped it onto his left peck. Billy and Friedman stared at Mister Torgue as he was basking in an imaginary light as a small trickle of blood fell from where he placed the badge.

"Torgue, you are an idiot." Billy said with a sigh.

"I'm too tired for this mong shit. Just go ask around Moxxi and Zed's, a few reports put one of them at both places. Figure out which one of these identical scum stains pulled the trigger. Otherwise, I'll just have to hang 'em all, and I don't got that kinda time." Marshall said as he shooed them off.

As they walked away Billy turned to Mister Torgue. "So how are we doing this? We each take one or go to each one together?" Billy asked.

"I'd say separately. It will be faster that way." Torgue paused for a second before sheepishly rubbing his neck. "Plus I've always wanted to waltz into a bar all official and everything like the old American western."

"I get it. I'll take the doc." Billy said as he walked away.

Torgue took off and quickly made it to the bar. While he had passed it a few times since arriving this was the first time he was visiting. He proceeded to pull out an oversized ten-gallon hat from his ECHO which he put on before he waltzed through a conveniently placed pair of saloon doors. The first thing Torgue noticed was three buxom waitresses all dressed like cowgirls with their shirts tied together to show off their large assets, cow hats, and skin-tight denim daisy dukes that showed their curves as they walked about. The next was a sign above the bar that said Old Texas Day. Everyone else was also seemingly dressed up in various cowboy-themed clothes. His entrance drew the attention of everyone in the bar as even the music stopped.

"I'm Mister Torgue and I'm here as a deputy on official business for Marshall Friedman. Does anyone have information on the f*cking Gutter brothers? One was reported to have come in here earlier."

"Well, I think I can be of assistance Mister lawman~." Said Moxxi as she sashayed into the bar. Mister Torgue just stared flabbergasted at the woman who walked in from the back.

Meanwhile, Billy and Remmy entered the doctor's office and found a peppered hair man with a medical mask on and a raider in purple armor cleaning up some blood and spilled pills on the floor. "Hey Doc."

"Yes?" both men said.

"Uuugh?" Billy looked confusingly between the two.

"Oh, apologies." My name is Medical Officer Super Private First Class Frank DuFresne. But everyone else just calls me Doc. Zed here is the actual doctor."

"How you doin'." The masked man said.

"I see… Wait, you're not a doctor?" Billy asked, looking at the raider.

"No, I'm a medic." Doc said.

"What's the difference?"

Well, a doctor cures people." Zed states.

"While a medic just makes them more comfortable… while they die." Doc finishes.

"Well, that's… comforting." Billy said

"Hey don't get me wrong, I try to save them but we'll… War will be war."

"Anywho, what can we do for you?"

"I'm here on business for the Marshell. He said pointing to the badge. "By chance, have you seen any of the Gutter brothers today? I'm here investigating a murder that one of them committed and we're trying to figure out who it was."

"Hmm. Well, I can't tell you which one it was but I did pull a round outta one of them Gutter boys. Good shot whoever put it in his hip. I healed him up as good as new, but, the little skunk overpaid me. Six thou- five thousand bucks." Zed quickly backtracked.

"Zed, he threw the wad at you. The man then proceeded to storm out knocking over a table with supplies on it which we're still trying to clean." Doc said.

"Yes, and if I see that Gutter brother or any of his gene pool again I'm going to shove my size ten boot so far up his ass it will come out in a parallel universe!" Doc said with a deep voice as he laughed evilly.

"Ugh, is he okay?" Billy asked.

"Oh he's fine, just got possessed by a megalomaniac AI for a time, was freed, sent to another dimension where time means nothing, and developed a split personality based on that AI." Zed said.

Remmy oinked in confusion as Billy just stared. "That. Is. Fascinating! Is it a triggered personality or an omnipresent one?" Billy started.

Zed and Doc stared for several second till Zed cleared his throat. "You a doctor yourself."

"Oh no… Well yes, but not the medical kind."

"Why are you running around Pandora then, and in a bullet costume?"

"Paying off student loans."

"Ooooooh." Both medical practitioners said.

"OINK!" Remmy said nudging Billy's leg.

"Right, right, sorry Remmy. Anything else you noticed about the perp?"

"Just the fact the guy left his shield… You don't need to confiscate that money or anything, do ya?" Zed asked.

Billy and Remmy quickly left the clinic. He tried calling Torgue but didn't receive an answer, so they both made their way to Moxxi bar, after getting some directions from a local. It took them a few minutes but they soon found it and entered the bar. Quickly found Mister Torgue sitting at the bar talking with a shapely dark-haired woman Billy figured must be Moxxi.

"There you are, I tried to call you."

"Sorry, I was… Distracted." Torgue said with a content sigh as Moxxi was turned around and wiggling her butt as she pulled a bottle from a lower shelf.

". . . I see." Billy said in exasperation.

"You're friend here has been trying to sweet talk me for the last twenty minutes. Although I have to say, he's been nothing but flattering, and it's so cute how you are hinting at a more classical date than a mere one-night fling of debauchery and lust. Makes me feel like a mushy, love-struck, and very innocent high school gal."

"Mox, you never went to highschool." Abigail said as she rushed by.

"Or were ever a love-struck teenager." Susan said as she moved to a table with food in hand.

"Or could ever have been called innocent." Trixie said as she popped her head from the backroom door. She immediately ducked back as a balled up towel hit the door with a light thud.

"A woman can fantasize!" Moxxi yelled back. She turned back to the three with a huff. "Anyways hun, while I do appreciate the sweet words and am always available for the right price, I'm just not ready for a new relationship anytime soon." Moxxi said.

"Awwww. Shot down again." Torgue said with a tone of depressed disappointment.

Billy just patted the man on the back. "What, did you have a bad breakup or something?" Billy asked.

"In a sense, more a tragic wedge in our relationship, he is actually right there." Moxxi said pointing to a shelf behind the bar." They looked to see an urn with a battered grey Raiders helmet on the left of it and a picture of a blonde man in Raider armor with a bottle in one hand while headlocking who he realized was Kai in the other arm.

"Oh, Sorry for your loss" Billy said.

"It hurts, but he did leave me a little bun to take care of." Moxxi said placing a hand on her stomach.

"Oh? . . . OOOH! Congratulations!" Billy said.

"Enough about me, I can tell you two aren't here to drink, or for a private session. So what do you need of little ol me?"

"We're here on the behalf of the Marshell investigating the Gutter brothers. We were told that one was sighted coming in here."

"A Gutter brother? Oh, yeah." Moxxi said in realization. "One of them barged in here a couple of hours ago, demanding safe haven. I told him I couldn't make any promises, and he got bitchy. Started treating my girls like skag shit so I had to pull out Rubi and put a few rounds in him. His shield ate the first two, but boy, did he feel the last one. Nobody threatens me in my joint."

"Where did you hit him?" Mister Torgue asked

Moxxi tapped her chin for a moment as she thought. "I think the hip if I recall. Left side to be exact."

They both left the bar soon after and made their way back to the crime scene where they met Marshell. Once there they quickly explained to Freeman their findings. "Hmmm if that's the case, then who do you think did it?"

"You want us to determine the murderer?" Billy asked in surprise. "We're just deputies."

"It's the f*cker with the rocket launcher!" Torgue proclaimed causing the guy to stiffen.

""No, it's not him Torgue." Billy said.

"Go on. You seem to got this." Friedman said as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"Billy looked at the four suspects and studied them. "Well, we know a few things, firstly after they killed the victim they tried to hide out at Moxxi's. However, after agitating her she fired upon the suspect and hit them once." Billy said as he walked behind the suspect, looking each over. "Then they made their way to Zed's place where they got patched up, before they left they made a mess and left a shield."

Billy stopped by the last one named Barlo. "You're the only one here who doesn't have a shield. On top of that, there's blood on your hip with a hole in the jacket and splatter on your leg. Plus out of all of them, he's the only one armed with a rifle that would have been able to precisely hit the victim in the throat. A shot that would both ensure the victim would die and have it be painfu-."

Barlo suddenly kicks Billy and knocks the theme to the ground. "Yeah, I did it! I ain't sorry!" Barlo yells as he turns to try and run. However, before he could make it five steps an angry squeal is heard as Remmy flies through the air and bites on Barlo's right shoulder. Barlo rips Remmy off of his shoulder and runs a few more meters before suddenly locking up and falling to the ground in a heap.

"What the hell!? What did you assholes do!" Barlo yelled.

"Remmy here is part of a boar species that has paralytic venom, I just gave him a f*cking boost to get to you." Torgue gave the shoulder a roll. "Damn, hope that doesn't f*ck up my rotator cuff again." He said before helping Billy up.

"What I want to understand is why you shot the guy?" Billy asked.

"Because Jeremy was a no good two-bit pretty boy poser! And he calls my beautiful bold head dirt!"

"So you shot him in the face with a high-powered rifle because of a mere insult?"

"He deserved it, and I would have got you meddling assholes and your stupid pig!"

"That's enough out of you Barlo." Friedman said as he stepped up.

"Go to hell, you lazy bastard!"

"You were always the nastiest one of the bunch."

"Why don't you go and suck my fat-" He was cut off when Friedman whipped out his revolver and put one shot right between Barlo's eyes.

"Barlo thought he could snipe an innocent man and get away with it. But that-" Friedman spun the revolver in his hand before quickly holstering it in a show. "Was a long shot." He turns back to the gang who all looked in surprise.

"You just killed the guy!" Billy exclaimed.

"Of course, while Sanctuary may be the most civilized place on Pandora, it's still Pandora. The murder of an innocent man is punishable by a quick death around here, which is considered a merciful punishment. If it's anything worse than just a simple bullet or stab, well… we Pandorans can get fairly creative." Friedman said. "In any case, good work deputies. As a reward, I'll let you keep your deputy titles."

"HELL F*CKING YES! You hear that Billy, were now official deputies!"

"Yaaaaay." Billy said tiredly, already done with the day.

"Come on, we have depu-duties!" Torgue said as he grabbed Billy and ran off into the town. By the end of the day, they would have started five fights, caused three noise complaints, stole a car, crashed said car off the side of Sanctuary less than twenty seconds after stealing it, and finally cause two cases of arson.

X-X-X

-LINK REESTABLISHED-

-Resuming ECHO Review Log-

(Tina) WHAT WAS THAT THING!?

(Gaige) I'm with Tina on this one, what was that monster?

(Kilo) So you know Marvin. Well, apparently he has certain abilities to. . . Alter things in my story. Any time I try writing something I go back to check only to find it changed.

(Torgue) Holy Sh*t

(Kilo) Yeah, it's a fucking problem that slowed down this chapter release… This chapter was actually the best outcome out of the several versions I had written.

(Gaige) . . . Well, shit.

(Kilo) Yep. I'm working on a way to take Marvin down but I have to be careful as I still don't fully understand his abilities. But that's for another time. Again I'd like to apologize to everyone about how long this chapter took Real life also didn't help with matters. I hopefully will be able to turn Chapter 26 out sooner, plus I have a special Side Quest chapter that is nearly finished. In the meantime, what did you all think about Mr Torgue and Billy going on an actual Borderlands mission?

(Torgue) I GOT DEPUTIZED!

(Gaige) It was actually a fun idea and frees up the Vault Hunters from some of the other side missions.

(Kai) Which is why I'll open the floor to any suggestions as to which side quest missions you'd like to see them in. Just make sure it is any mission that starts after the Bright Lights, Flying City mission set. As for access to my Discord, if anyone is interested send me a PM for an invite. Now onto the reviews!

First one, PanzerKampfWagonJager. As always thanks for the review and reading, yeah I always figured that just because Santuary is airborne does not mean it's safe. I had fun with the Hammare, I've been waiting to use that weapon for a while. Of course, thanks go to you for the flavor text and the weapon name. As for Iolite, well you'll just have to see. I do have plans for the little fellow that you will explain in the next few chapters.

No problem Grim, always happy to entertain. Sorry again for the wait for this one.

Master Lumine Omega, your vote has been taken for the Excalibastard and the mini Moxxi… Of course, I'll be throwing a little bit of Riess in there so either way the kid will have the sass and Riess fight.

Pancake12, Happy New Year. . . And another new Year. . . Sorry about that. Anyways, yes Gaige and Kai alone at last. . . If it weren't for the 4th wall-breaking baddie who can spy on them. As for your votes, that way I asked, it is so hard to make these decisions. Some are not very major, others will have far-reaching effects in the future. This is the way I asked the readers, give them a little say on the matter and help me shape the story.

Glad you like the story Zeowolf9. As you can see I'm one step ahead of you with the Minecraft Easter egg, and in a highly explosive manner if you ask me… Still not sure about the Dark Souls Easter egg, there's not much to that one sadly and I don't want to drag this arc out too long. I'm already having to skip the minecart mission because of just how long I've made this arc.

Kuman. . . I doubt you will ever read this in the story considering, but if you ever do I'll be succinct as possible. My story is not perfect, and while I'm not what one considers a professional writer I try. It is not easy to write a story about a world where you have creatures that can be the size of a building and guns that can vaporize people among one of the many almost magical, and sometimes actually magical abilities they have. So with that, I ask how would you write an entertaining story where gunplay is so critical to the franchise. Sure I could just have the Vault Hunters steamroll through the bandit hoards with one or two shots to each enemy they see, but that gets boring real quick. This brings up a point, while I did state in the weapon bios that the weapons are based on Level 50 gun stats, that's only for example purposes so that the readers can compare these weapons to the game counterparts. I have never stated that these levels are indicative of the story character's actual levels as it would overcomplicate the story and turn it into a Gamer fic. While I admit they are not an inherently bad story type, they almost always suffer from a bad case of power creep. Case and point look at the BL2 story A Badass' Quest Across Pandora By flameclawsxx. It's a great and hilarious story, but it has suffered the same fate as many other Gamer fics where the main character becomes too powerful too fast. Meaning every fight has basically turned into a final boss fight with the fate of the world on the line in order to keep any suspense or the story loses all possible credit as a serious story and just becomes an OP crack fic.

Second, the shields… I will admit I could add a bit more time to how long the shields take to charge, that is actually a valid point in that regard and would help make the fight more interesting. Thank you for that note.

Third, yes and no, while I have tried to not make the enemies too… bullet spongy, it is hard not to as again it would be boring as hell if every single bandit was say headshots in the first five seconds of every gunfight by Zer0 or vaporized by Sal just by pointing in their direction with his guns. Plus this is borderlands, you have to suspend a bit of reality in order to make it fun. Actually, we've seen a lot of strange things throughout the series that make no sense, but then again it's not a very grounded series or has mostly clearly defined limits like Star Wars or Star Trek.

Fourth, the New-U system. Yes I know it's not canon, yes its existence may break a few things here and there, but there is a plan for it. A very big one I have cooked up for when the main campaign is done. However, in order to counter the over-reliance of the New-U I've added in the fact that there are side effects to abusing the system so it will deter characters from relying on it. . . Plus dying fucking sucks even if you respawn.

Five, yes I get it. Not everyone is a fan of the beat 'em up gag that Gaige pulled. I admit, it could have been done better and I also probably should not have done that last upskirt gag. I'm sorry… Am I ever going to go back and change it, possibly? That's for me and the committee to decide, but I have since dropped that gag and have sworn to only use such violence in extreme situations that make sense.

And while I do find it a little disrespectful that you categorize stories by how many red flags you see, especially just before you got to the point where I'd say the story really comes into its own, that is your own concern. It's every reader's choice whether they keep reading a story through or not.

And lastly silentslender. That last comment was an absolute delight and when you posted it made my week. On the surface, Borderlands is a very simple game, but it is filled with opportunities to mix and match, add new things, explore, and create! You can create all kinds of original characters or if so desired bring characters from other series and let them run free in the madness that is the Borderlands! That's what I did with Kai, I made an OC that would fit in the world so that he and the other character could interact in a more fleshed-out telling, explore areas such as the Caustic Cavern that deserved more exploration, and just let my mind have fun with the situation. . . Granted as you noted it is not perfect, but then again no story is. Everyone has their way of telling one.

(Gaige) Very true, friend O, very true.

(Kilo) Anyway, remember to follow for more updates, and if you want please leave a comment. So till next time my fellow Vault Hunters, Kilo8 out!

(Gaige) And Happy New Year!

(Tina & Torgue) Happy New Year!

*BZZZZT*

-ECHO Review Log Terminated-

Hammerlocks Pandora Creature Almanac

CREEPER -

Species currently unidentified. Believe to be a type of plant.

First discovered and named by the Vault Hunters Gaige and Kai during an accidental expedition into the Caustic Cavern. These creatures are a very odd development in Pandora ecology as they seem to be moss based plant yet are mobile and have animalistic tendencies. Yet they have only been found in dark caverns, making it a mystery as to how they feed. Observations have shown that creepers seem to work in hurreds to defend or hunt which only further adds to the mystery. Thought the greatest mystery is actually one of the most understood thing's about these creatures, there sole method of attack is the ability to self-destruct in an explosion equivalent to an unmodded grenade. While we don't understand how or why the creeper has developed such an odd evolution trait how they do it is understood. When they feel in range, the creature will flood there body with a compound that mixes with there version of blood.

x-x-x

Translations

*"Look Simmons, I can tell you right now whatever hair brain idea you have to track the teens won't work. It is probably something stupid such as triangulating their position through their ECHOs. The problem you forgot with that is we'd have to have an active ECHO comm with them."*

*"Why would you even need to see their call logs?"*

*"Honestly I'm more surprised you understood what I just said. . . When did you learn to speak Truxican?"*

*"And here I thought one of you idiots could actually learn a new trick."*

*"Him, nothing really. His heart is in the right place but with the pressure of the situation Simmons tends to get sloppy with his thought process. Confidence issues and all that. As for me, I am trying to access the VLS station back at where Sanctuary used to be. Once I have access I should be able to track where they've been, of course, there are a few factors to account for, but it will give us a general area to look in, if not a direction at the very least."*

*"Several engineers and myself used several badass loader cores to build a backup power supply for the comms and launch controls a few months ago in case of emergencies. The station should still have enough power for another week at least if it's not been used or tampered with. Because of how the system is set up since we don't have satellites it pings every connected device with the controller program several times in a five minute period every hour to stay updated with locations. We should be able to have a decent idea as to where they went once I access the systems log. It's just a question of when the most recent ping occurred."*

*"I'm already running an access program. I'm just waiting for-*

*"Got a hit, the last ping was eighteen hours ago at. . . Huh. . . It appears they were headed somewhere near Three Horn."*

*"Confirmed. Difference is about two kilometers off of ours, but that is because of the slight time difference. . . Why did Jack task a satellite to track them?"*

*"Well, I guess they could have done worse and used Vista."*

*"Generally speaking, yes."*

*"Please remember ma'am, this was eighteen hours ago, and the system pings every hour. So they could be anywhere that's about an hour or two travel from their last position."*

*"Send the data to me, I'll help look through the scans. Any way you can give me access?"*