Finding Life: Level Three

Author's note: Have you ever read your past work and cringed? Yeah that was me and the second chapter. I was like, wtf was the (May 17 2017) version of me thinking? An eye? Really? How the fuck am I going to explain this?


Kaoruko kissed him.

His auntie kissed him.

Saitama's mouth responded five seconds later. "What was that for?"

Kaoruko raised her elegant arm and cupped her chin. "Judging by your reaction, that was your first kiss. Right?" Her seductive smile didn't help his surprise. "Thanks for the privilege."

"You kissed me to check my experience?" Saitama nodded in respect. "Damn, Kaoruko. You're so thirsty."

Kaoruko licked her lips. "You think?"

"It was a joke!" Saitama raised his arms forward as if to defend himself.

"You're so strange, Saitama. You're nonchalant at certain topics but so reactionary towards others." Kaoruko gave a nostalgic sigh. "So different from the nephew I raised during my younger years."

"Same nephew you took advantage of?" Saitama raised a brow.

Kaoruko returned the expression. Huh. Blood relative indeed.

"Would you say no if I asked?" She raised her forefinger, beckoning him towards her.

Saitama simply crossed his arms and stared her down.

Kaoruko gave a satisfied smile. "You really are my nephew." She turned away from him. "Follow me."

He eyed the sway of her hips.


Kaoruko removed the necklace a bit later. Saitama felt stupid just giving her that ornament. An eye? Really? Was he for real? What was he thinking!? Kaoruko simply humored him but took it off not even an hour into it.

They ate an expensive dinner. A boiled lobster, roasted chicken and even vintage wine.

Saitama whistled. "What's the occasion?" Was it her birthday?

Kaoruko looked at him curiously. "It's dinner?" she treated the meals as if it was normal. Then again with her salary maybe it was.

Saitama sighed. They ate in silence. The delicious food was complemented by the rich flavor of the wine. If this was what he'll be eating for his entire stay he'd be happy to oblige.

"You inquired to the details pertaining my research earlier." Kaoruko waited for Saitama's nod before continuing. "Every woman that enters this house. I want you to make them yours."

If this was a cartoon he'd be the character to spit his drink and food into the table.

Luckily, it wasn't. Saitama chewed his meal and gulped his drink. Only then did he speak.

"That's it?" he asked.

"That's it," Kaoruko answered. "Basically, I'm going to teach you steps to the ways of love. You should be thankful."

Saitama narrowed his eyes. "You'd play as my wingman?"

Kaoruko gave a melodic laugh. "If needs be."

She lowered her elbows to the table, propped her arms, interlaced her fingers and leaned on the back of her hands.

"But you just kissed me," Saitama said. "Wouldn't having me dating other people make it harder for you to date me?"

Kaoruko blinked in surprise, and then gave an amused smile. "I thought you'd find it repugnant to date your aunt?"

"Why?" Saitama honestly asked. "You're beautiful."

Kaoruko's eyes widened at his words. "How blunt of you."

"I'm not one for societal norms. I know it's weird for an aunt to date her nephew, and even weirder that it's a teacher dating their student. But I'm not exactly normal, and hearing your ideas meant it runs in the blood.

Besides. I don't think there's a force in this world that can tell me what to do."

He dug his fork at the lobster claw and ate it. The sturdy claw broke against his teeth.

"Oh? Going to protect me from cops? Is that it?" Kaoruko clearly didn't believe him. Saitama didn't bother proving his strength. There was no need.

"If I have to," Was all he said.

Kaoruko straightened her back and lowered her forearms to the table, though the amused smile never left her face. "Such bravado. You can use it to be become as popular with girls as Prince Genji."

"Prince Genji?" Saitama parroted.

"The goal of my research is to get a deeper understanding of Genji Monogatari," Kaoruko clarified. "And for that, I need someone who understands what Prince Genji went through."

"So I'll need you to have sex with women."

"What?" Saitama looked at her like she was crazy.

"Don't look so doubtful. It's not that many. Only fourteen."

He chuckled. "And if I say no?"

Kaoruko's eyes narrowed. "No one's ever said no to me before."

"First time for everything."

"Then I'll have to persuade you." She leaned on the table and gave him a good view of her cleavage. She batted her eyelashes. "Would you be so kind as to tell your auntie what it is you wish? I'll make it come true."

"You." Saitama answered immediately, playing along with a smile.

"Ah." She winked. "Naughty boy, seeking my chastity when I've already been so generous. I'd kick you out for those ill manners of yours."

"Then kick me out." Saitama grinned. "But I've got a feeling you won't."

Kaoruko laughed once more. "Cheeky little brat aren't you?"

Saitama finished his wine. "Thanks for the meal, Kaoruko. It was delicious."

She waved his gratitude away. "No need for that."

He was about to leave the chair when she answered.

"Okay." Her eyes danced with mirth. "I'll allow it."

Saitama gaped at her. "You were serious?"

Kaoruko stared at him. "You weren't?"

"I thought you were joking!"

"I wasn't," Kaoruko sighed.

"I'm not having sex with fourteen women just to date my aunt!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "And I can't believe those words just came out of my mouth."

"Then too bad. It's the only way you'll get me." She wagged her finger. "Willing to give up chance to date someone, and I quote, 'beautiful'?"

"Ugh. Why do you have to be so weird?" Saitama asked.

"I could say the same to you. You're actually making me bargain something other men will jump at the chance to do."

"I'm not, and I quote, 'other men'. What kind of horndog do you think I am, Kaoruko?"

"The one lusting after his aunt," she countered.

"The aunt who kissed him," he parried her words. "Why are we even debating about this?"

"Well, if you're just a prude you'd have left the table long ago." Kaoruko smirked. "That means you are interested in getting in my pants."

She crossed her arms under her breasts and caught his wandering eyes. She grinned haughtily like a chess player who won checkmate.

It was that smile that reminded him of a younger her. The teenaged Kaoruko would always play with him when he was bored, and console him when he was sad.

It brought him back to simpler times.

"You are such a pervert," Saitama hissed. He was actually blushing.

"Pot meet kettle," Kaoruko said.

"Did you have to make it sound like that?"

"Sound like what? You wanting to get into my pants? It's the truth, isn't it?"

"You are so stupid!" Saitama exclaimed.

And then he stared at her.

"I have a degree. What do you have?" Kaoruko laughed and waited for his counter. When he gave none she tilted her head. "Are you alright?"

This was it. This was the answer.

Kaoruko made him feel alive.

"You're unbelievable…" Saitama said in amazement.

"What do you say, Saitama? I'm willing to grant your wish." Her flirty smile made him blush, and he felt his heart race at the revelation of her effect on him.

He shook his head. What was even more amazing was that she was entertaining the thought at all, instead of saving herself for someone else. She was either promiscuous or she had feelings for him.

And he remembered one word that caught his attention among others. 'Chastity.'

Could it be? Kaoruko's a virgin? He couldn't believe it. And he wouldn't have cared even if she wasn't. He was not a child stupid enough to think casual sex didn't exist.

This was simply ammunition.

He gave a haughty smirk mirroring her own, and it was her turn to look in surprise when he said, "Kaoruko, you like me don't you?"

Her eyes glimmered with something like nostalgia. No doubt she too had a flashback to their past.

She raised a brow even as her smile turned into a challenging one. "Is that a fact?"

"It's going to be so much more," he said.

She harrumphed but didn't deny his words. "Are we in accord?"

He gave a playful laugh, noticing the small blush receding from her face.


Instead of leaving, he decided to stay with her as Kaoruko began eating. She didn't touch the food at all during dinner, so he stayed and conversed with the girl as he waited for her to finish. The rest of the night was spent in idle chatter.


The next day Saitama killed a mosquito girl.

He stared at the bloody remains on the forest outside K City. He was out on his morning jog in track pants and shirt when a mosquito girl led a swarm of insects through the forest to kill all the animals therein.

He took a simple jump through the canopy, destroyed branches that were on his way and swatted her back down to earth. Her body popped like a balloon. He returned to the ground with a thud, creating a small crater. Leaves fell from where the broken canopy, showering the ground with the frond.

A dead squirrel that looked mummified sprawled on the detritus, lost of all its blood. He wasn't able to save all the animals. A shame. Oh well. He shrugged, put his earphones back on and continued jogging.

"There you are. Go take a bath." Kaoruko looked at the red stain on his shoulder. "What happened there?"

"Paint," Saitama lied. "Wasn't looking where I went and accidentally bumped with someone holding a gallon of it."

He refrained from telling her the truth. He didn't want to freak her out so soon. Saitama normally didn't care about what other people thought of him, but Kaoruko was different. And for that he decided to keep his strength a secret from her for the time being.

"Well, get to it then. I thought you were old enough to know when to bath. Do I need to take your clothes off too?"

"I'm on it." He went up the stairs to his room, leaving Kaoruko with a glance.

He returned to the dinner table good as new. He wore a simple white shirt and black pants. Nothing like the beautiful dress that clung to Kaoruko's curvaceous body.

He licked his lips, gulped, and took his chance.


"What is i-" She wasn't able to finish her question because he pressed her to the wall and pressed his lips to hers. It was brief, but she didn't push him away. Her breasts rubbed against his chest and she clutched his forearms as his tongue explored her mouth.

"Sorry," he said, not sorry at all. His hand wiped some saliva dribbling from his chin. "You just got me fired up is all."

She licked her lips and traced them with her forefinger. "My, my. Who said you could do that?"

"I thought we have an accord?" His grin made her roll her eyes.

"Best to keep it from public view, then." She sighed and rubbed her head. She held her waist like someone ready to scold a child. "Next time, tell me."

"Yes ma'am," he flippantly answered. She pouted and gave a light punch to his shoulder.