For your information: This story is now a Holiday one!! Anyways, the next chapter/mini story, is for St. Patrick's Day on March 17. The summery for it is as follows:

Artemis wonders what the fairy's do for St. Patrick's Day (considering that is the leprechaun holiday) and the LEP prepares for the same day. St. Patrick's Day is the one day that all of the LEP gets off. Okay, so the crime rates also go up on that date, but, it is an age-old tradition. You can't exactly break it. Holly, Root, Foaly and possibly another character (ie: Chix, Trouble, Grub...) decide to use their vacation to annoy a particular child genius...

Normal Programming:

This is my nearly a week late Valentine's Day story thingy. I don't know if there is a V-Day in Ireland, and guess what? That is not high on my list of top things to do. Then again, I don't even have a list like that. Well, in this story there is a V-Day, so nah nah. Well, what did you expect from me, the crazy Canadian who has an obsession with grammar and is too lazy to read this story over? So if there are any mistakes, it is because I don't wanna read 8 pages a nothing all over again. After all I did write this! (duh) I am also too lazy to do a Disclaimer, so make one up for yourself. Come on, you have got to have SOME imagination? Anyway, it starts out one day before V-Day.

Holly's office, Police Plaza

Holly was bored. All she had was a floating chair, various junk food items and a rubber wall ball. You know the kind of ball the size of a baseball with red on the top and blue on the bottom. With a white strip in between. Holly threw the ball at the wall. Thunk, thunk. Holly caught the ball. Thunk, thunk. Holly caught the ball. After 45 more minutes of this, Holly got bored and fell out of her chair. She looked under it and crossed a few wires. She jumped on the chair, zooming around the room like a crazed troll. But, with more accuracy. Holly never hit the wall once. She prided herself with complete control over her hover-chair.

Stopping at the back wall facing the door, Holly once again started throwing her wall ball. This time, she threw it on the door.

15 minutes later

Holly was pretty much asleep. Thunk, thunk, catch. Thunk, thwack. HEY!!! WERE IS HOLLY'S WALL BALL?? She opened her eyes and jerked back. Root's glaring, purple face was inches from her own. For some reason there was a darker purple spot between Root's eyes.

"SHORT!! IS THIS BALL YOURS???" Root roared.

"Um. well. yes." Holly squeaked. 'I squeaked? I SQUEAKED???' Holly inwardly roared at herself.


"Um, it's not my fault?" Holly whispered.


"I don't think you have a concussion, Commander," Holly said, hopefully.

"OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE A CONCUSSION!!! I SAID THAT CHIX AND GRUB GOT CONCUSSIONS!!!!" Root turned an even deeper purple, if that was possible.

"Well, Chix deserves it and Grub is a whiny brat. Maybe it would teach 'em a lesson!" Holly said.

"THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THE MATTER!!!!" Root yanked Holly off of her hover-chair. Bad move. After yanking Holly off, the chair reacted to the shift of weight at flew forward, efficiently knocking Holly on top of Root. They both fell down.

"GET OFF OF ME, SHORT!!!!!" Root roared, slightly muffled because of the fact Holly was on top of him. Holly promptly rolled off of him. Root staggered up, but was knocked down again, this time on top of Holly, by the mad chair of DOOM!

"Um, can you get off of me, Commander? I can't breathe." Holly gasped. This time, it was Root's turn to roll off of Holly.

"I advise not trying to stand up again, Root. The chair will knock you down," after a slight pause, Holly added, "again."

"How is it going so fast?? And why isn't it stopping? All of the chairs have a max speed limit preprogrammed into it and an auto-stop feature!" Root said, amazed.

"It is amazing what one can accomplish by crossing a few wires," Holly said perkily.

"YOU WHAT???" Root resumed yelling at his Captain.

"I said, IT IS AMAZING WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH BY CROSSING A FEW WIRES!!" Holly yelled back at him, figuring that he was hard of hearing.

"I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!!!" Root roared in Holly's pointed ear.

"Oh," Holly said sheepishly. SLAM!

"What was that?" Root asked.

Holly, unperturbed, said, "The door must have closed." BEEP!

"And the beep?" Root groaned, already knowing and dreading the answer.

"That was the door locking."

"And we can't get out until that chair of yours stops flying around, right?" Root sighed.

"Yup," it is amazing how calm and cheerful Holly is.

"And how long will it take for the battery to die?" Root whispered, because that was the question that determined their fate.

"Dunno. Maybe, 25 to 50 years," Holly grinned.


"No, Foaly will find us, eventually."

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO HAPPY??" Root yelled.



"Nobody has come to look for us." Root sighed.

"Don't worry Commander; it has only been about two hours."

"GAH! I don't think I could survive another two minutes with you!! You are so damn cheerful!" Root groaned.

"You say it like it is a bad thing." Holly grinned.


"Well, if you put it that way. I have an idea!" Holly chirped.

"And how long have you had this 'idea' for??" Root asked.

"As soon as the door locked."


"Can I have my wall ball?" Holly asked, ignoring her Commander's outburst.


"Just give Holly the ball," Holly said, soothingly. Grumbling, Root handed her the ball. Holly threw the ball at the underside of the mad chair of DOOM. BOOM!! A small explosion was the result. When the smoke cleared, Root and Holly stared at the blackened, smoldering chair. The wall ball was nowhere to be found.

"Can you unlock the door, now?" Root asked.

"Sure!" Holly walked over to the door and punched in her PIN number for her door. BEEP. The door was unlocked.

"THANK FROND!" Root yelled, opened the door and promptly ran around giving raises.

Holly looked all over the remains of the chair. Her wall ball was nowhere to be found. She sat down and cried.


"Um, Holly, are you alright?" Foaly asked to the crying form of a small female fairy lying on the floor.

"MY WALL BALL!!" Holly sniffed.

"You can get another one, you know."

"NO I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS MY LAST ONE!!!"

"Riight. I think I will just leave now," Foaly left.

The next day (V-Day)

SAINT WHATEVER SCHOOL FOR BOYS (A/N I forgot the name of the school. O well)

"Artemis, you still haven't gotten Valentine's Day presents for your parents and Juliet yet," Butler reminded his charge.

"Blah. Valentine's Day, what a stupid holiday," Artemis Fowl the Second groaned.

"Now, now, Artemis, a little shopping never hurt anybody."

"FINE! I WILL GO SHOPPING" Artemis yelled, surprising both Butler and himself.


"Hmm, Juliet is easy. A wrestling magazine. Mother will get slippers and Father will get, um, chocolate..." Artemis pondered.

"Ah yes, chocolate, the present of the uncreative," Butler said before he was able to help himself.

"To true. Oh well it will have to do," Artemis sighed, had his brains turned to mush or something? "and that is all."

"You forgot Holly."

"Oh yes, Holly," Artemis murmured, not really paying attention to what Butler was saying, "WAITAMINUTE! Did you just say 'Holly'?"


"Now why would I give Captain Short a Valentine's Day present??" Artemis questioned, "And besides, we have no way of getting the present underground. I don't even have her e-mail!"

"You don't, but I do."

"You have Captain Short's e-mail?" Artemis asked, amazed. He hadn't realized Butler was in touch with the Fairies.


"Okay, but why must I buy Holly a Valentine's Day present?" Artemis asked again.

"To be polite."

"That is not an answer."

"Just buy her a present."

"And what would I get for 'the crazy girly Captain'?"

"I don't know. Ask Foaly."

"Let me guess, you have his e-mail too."


"E-mail him then."


"Well, we are done shopping for everyone except a certain girl Captain," Artemis sighed, "Have we got mail from Foaly yet?

"Yes. It says that Holly would die for a wall ball. The kind that has red on the top, white in the middle and blue on the bottom," Butler read.


"It also says that since you are rich, 50 would be an appropriate amount," Butler said with his eyebrows raised.

"Lets just hope that Foaly isn't pulling our legs," Artemis sighed, "Of to the toy store."


"Er, Butler, do you know how we are going to give Holly her wall balls?" Artemis asked. He felt so weird asking Butler how to do something.

"Yes, Foaly will send Holly above ground and we will meet her at Tara."



"Okay, what do you want me to do above ground?" Holly asked Foaly into her helmet.

"Stay at Tara and don't move," Foaly smiled back in the OP Booth.

"Right. HEY!! That looks like Fowl's car!" Holly exclaimed.

"Right on time," Foaly said to himself. Unfortunately, Holly heard him.

"What do you mean? Did you plan for Fowl to come to Tara around the time I got above ground?" Holly questioned.

"Um, I can't hear you!! The flares must be up!! See you later!" Foaly said, and then closed that link.

"Foaly? D'Arvit! Do you really think I am dumb enough to believe that??" Holly yelled into the helmet. Holly sighed when he never answered. 'I will just go down to the other side of the hillock, so the McGraneys' (A/N or whatever the hell they are called... I really must read the books again...) don't see me.'

"Captain Short? Are you here?" Artemis said loudly.


"Where are you, then?" Artemis sighed. He has been having a bad day, and now he will have to deal with a fairy that is probably hiding from him.

"The side of the hill facing a way from the farm house!" Holly said as loudly as she dared. Artemis walked down the hill and sat down besides Holly.

"Er, hello," Artemis said, feeling like an idiot.

"Hello. Why do you want me?" Holly asked, getting straight to the point.

"Um, well... uh," Artemis stuttered. 'I am such an idiot.' Butler cleared his throat. "Well, Butler said that I should give you a Valentine's Day present, for reasons that I don't understand, this is just really confusing to me, why would Butler want me to give you a Valentine's Day present? I can understand my parents, but you too? It is just really weird, and-"

"I get the point. You got me a Valentine's Day present that you had no choice whether or not to give me," Holly summarized.

"Yah, that's it," Artemis said, "Butler, get Holly her present."

"Yes," Butler said, and went off to the Bentley.

"Um, I'm sorry, but I never got anything for you, Artemis," Holly trailed off weakly... 'Damn Foaly! He did this on purpose!'

"Uh, that's alright," Artemis said, just as weakly as his companion, "Uh, how is stuff going on Underground?"

"Um, great. Root has given nearly everyone raises," Holly sighed.

"Everyone except you, I am guessing," Artemis said, noting the distress on Holly's face.

"Yah... Even Foaly got a raise," Holly looked up at the top of the hillock for a minute, and then took off her helmet, "I hate these things." Holly set her helmet on the ground.

"Why did you get a raise too?" Artemis asked.

"I really don't know. The reason he is giving everyone raises is my fault," Holly sighed again. She is thinking of Foaly's snide comments about the Commander being in her office for a few hours.

"Let me guess. You did something to aggrieve the Commander, and then you got both of you out of the mess," Artemis guessed, correctly.

"Yup. I think my paycheck might have gone down," Holly rolled her eyes, "If that is possible. My paycheck has been so low since I was kidnapped."

"Er, must suck," Artemis said, slightly embarrassed that because of his want for money, he caused someone else to lose money. The Council deserves losing money, but Holly doesn't.

"Here you go Holly," Butler said. He was back from getting Holly's present.

"Oo, thank you," Holly grinned and reached for the wrapping paper.

"If it is stupid, don't blame me. Blame Foaly. It was his idea," Artemis cautioned. Holly shrugged and ripped open the present.

"WALL BALLS!!!" Holly shrieked, "OO THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!" The now ecstatic Captain jumped up and wrapped her arms around Artemis' neck and she kissed him. On the mouth. Butler covered a grin behind one massive hand. Artemis turned red, and Holly let go of Artemis and started hopping around like a demented pixy yelling 'wall balls wall balls'

"I think she likes her present," Butler said, quite unnecessarily.

"Yah think?" Artemis asked still red and trying to figure out why Holly kissed him. The two men watched Holly jump around, and when she finally calmed down, Artemis said, "you are now the proud owner of 50 wall balls."

"Oo, that means that soon in under the world there is going to be 50 unconscious LEP officers."

Weee... I had fun writing that ^^ Holly is crazy. Um, read and review?? Hehe... I'm in a lame mood right now... bye bye!

Mage Kitty ^^