Today on Jerry Springer: Lust & Magic!
Jerry: First, I'd like to introduce my first guest, Takakura Takeo!
-Takeo apprehensively comes out and takes a seat on stage-
Jerry: So, I hear you've come here today to tell your one friend something. Who is your friend and what to you have to say to them?
Takeo: Well, Jerry, I've come here to ask my one friend, Aburatsubo, to stop hitting on me.
Jerry: All right then… -Jerry voice trails off as he mutters to Takeo, "This better be good because if my ratings go down Steve will kick your ass."-
-Takeo gasps a bit as Jerry introduces Aburatsubo-
Jerry: And here he is, folks, Aburatsubo!
-Aburatsubo comes out wearing nothing but a tight black Speedo, the crowd cheers in excitement in their own little white trash way-
Takeo: O_O()~! What the Hell?!
Aburatsbo: -shakes his ass in front of Takeo- You know you want a slice of this beefcake!
Takeo: Erm… W—why are you dressed that way, Aburatsubo? –blushes deeply at the shear embarrassment-
Aburatsubo: -rubs Takeo's face gently- To turn you on my little Love Muffin, meow! By the way, you're so sexy when you blush.
Takeo: Aburatsubo! What would the other members of the Magic Club say if they saw you like this! PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!!
Aburatsubo: -snarls and starts flipping off random people- Whatever! I'll do what I want, bitch! And who care's about them? Especially that little whore, Sawanoguchi!
-parts of the crowd jeer while the other parts cheer-
Jerry: Well let's just see what the others have to say! Come on out guys!
-Nanaka and Sae come out on stage dressed as sleazy 16-year-old whores who would fuck anyone for beer money-
Takeo: O_O() WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU PEOPLE????!!!!!!
Nanaka: Aburatsubo is my pimp and I'm his ho! That's how it's always been, bitch! –slaps Takeo on the back of the head, knocking his glasses nearly off-
Sae: Um… Yah! What it is homie!
Nanaka: -whispers softly into Takeo's ear- Where were you when they did the show briefing?! Don't you know?! ¬_¬()
Takeo: -whispers back- This foreign water gave me… um… "bathroom" problems so I missed the briefing… T_T By the way, where is Aikawa?
Nanaka: -shakes head some them whispers- In the briefing they said they're paying us $500 American to do this shit, dumbass! Now just play along! And Akane had a photo shoot and couldn't come.
Sae: -overhearing the two- Hey, Nanaka! They are only paying us $500 Canadian not American!
Aburatsubo: -grabs Sae by her tube top- WHAT?!! You told me we were getting paid in American! I did all this for Canadian currency?!! O_O!!!!
Nanaka: How could you do this, Sae?! _()
-crowd stars a riot over being fooled by Jerry-
Sae: I'm sorry! ;-; I didn't know it made that much of a difference…
Jerry: -runs around in circles screaming/freaking out because his secret to getting good ratings has been released-
Steve: Wait a second… You pay the guests $500 Canadian? You told me they only got $100! And that I should be happy I get $150! YOU BASTARD!!!!
-everyone goes silent and stares at Steve as he becomes more inflamed with anger-
Steve: -runs over to Jerry and picks him up by his shirt- Did you think it was funny to under pay me and lie about it? DID YOU?!!
Jerry: O_O() -gulps-
Steve: -flings Jerry on stage and through some empty chairs, nearly impaling him-
Takeo: Um… o.o; -whispers to the others- Maybe we should leave… Like, NOW!
-crowd cheers as Steve beats the everlasting piss out of Jerry-
-the Magic Club goes off stage and quickly uses the teleportation spell to get them back to nice, safe Tokyo, Japan, A.S.A.P.-
-crowd continues to cheer for Steve as he kills Jerry, beats his chest like an angry gorilla, pulls out a flame thrower and burns the studio down, crowd and all, in his insane fit of rage-
**Disclaimer: Thus the end, please don't kill me! o.; I have nothing against Canadians, or their money. I merely made this out of a Code Red and pocky high at 3am.