A final thank you to my two wonderful betas Sherry and Paige. I couldn't have done this without you. This chapter is dedicated to both of you!
Thank you to all of my readers! I'm so glad you connected with this story the way you did! Your support means the world to me.
"It might be over soon, soon, soon
Where you gonna look for confirmation?
And if it's ever gonna happen
So as I'm standing at the station
It might be over soon
(All these years)
There I find you marked in constellation (two, two)
There isn't ceiling in our garden
And then I draw an ear on you
So I can speak into the silence
It might be over soon (two, do, two, do, two)
Oh and I have carried consecration
And then you expelled all decision
As I may stand up with a vision
Caught daylight, goddamn right
Within our eyes there lies a scission
(It might be over soon)
My nerves would be debilitating if it weren't for my excited son bouncing around the hospital waiting room in front of my seat. I shouldn't have given him so much vending machine candy, but I was on edge too much to think of a better alternative when it came to distracting my enthusiastic son. He's been waiting for this day for months, and hopefully in only a few hours he'll be a big brother.
Charlie's been involved with every part of the process, which has been amazing for us. We had only been married for seven months when Bella found out she was pregnant. We'd been on vacation and Charlie got really sick. We were both so scattered-brain that birth control seemed to be the last thing on our fucking minds. A surprise pregnancy had never sounded like a good thing in the past, but as soon as Bella told me she was pregnant, all I could do was fucking smile. It wasn't the reaction I'd expected to have, but I hadn't known how badly I wanted another baby until I heard the news.
"What is it, Bella? You've been quiet all night," I ask, as I run my fingers through her soft hair.
I love the moments we share together like this, curled up on our bed together after making love all night without interruption. Something that is very rare with our toddler. Bella's usually lethargic in my arms, but tonight I can feel her tension and my mind jumps to the worst possible scenarios. She's silent, so I kiss her forehead to urge her to speak.
"You can tell me anything," I say as calmly as I can.
"Don't freak out," she starts, barely able to meet my gaze.
I gently grab her chin and tilt her head up so she's forced to meet my gaze. She looks happy, yet nervous at the same time. I frown and nod, urging her to continue.
"I don't know how to tell you this…" she trails off, looking around the room as if she's never seen it before.
"Bella, just give it to me straight."
She gives me a look that says 'You asked for it.', before a small smile tugs at her lips and she says, "I'm pregnant."
My eyes widen in shock and my heart feels like it's racing so fast I fear I'll fucking die. I can't breathe!
"Edward?" Bella's eyes widen this time. "Edward! Are you having a panic attack?"
I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down. I'm going to have two kids. I test the thought out a few times and I'm surprised to find that each time I say it to myself, I begin to slowly calm down. I'm going to have another kid! A huge grin breaks out on my face and I throw my arms around Bella, pulling her naked body tightly against mine. I can't believe this beautiful woman is giving me a kid! What the fuck have I done right in my life to deserve something this wonderful?
"Are you happy?" She giggles, as I rock her back and forth in my arms.
I laugh too, because I've never been happier. I have a beautiful wife, I have a wonderful son, and I'm about to be blessed with another kid. What more could a man ask for?
"I'm so fucking happy," I laugh, kissing every inch of her beautiful face. "Thank you, Bella. I can never thank you enough."
"Just love me, Edward. That's enough."
"Me brotha here?" Charlie asks impatiently as he crawls onto my lap with a package of M&M's in his little hand.
"He's not here yet, buddy. Mommy just needed a little alone time with Auntie Alice."
I stare at my watch. It's been thirty fucking minutes since she requested some time alone with her sister. How much agony is my girl going to fucking go through? If I'm this much of a wreck, I can't imagine how terrible it must be for her. Fuck, she's pushing a little human out of her pussy! I shudder at the thought.
"Mommy 'kay?" Charlie asks, staring at the automatic hospital doors that lead to Bella's room.
"Mommy's okay. I promise, buddy. She's just getting ready to see your brother."
"I teach him!"
"You're going to teach him everything?" I say, before tickling his belly.
"Teach him be like me!"
"He'll be your best friend. Do you know that, buddy? He's going to look up to you for everything."
"I know daddy," Charlie says with a huge grin.
I know I looked up to Seth. Every day I would try to be just like him. With Elizabeth as my 'mom' growing up, I was constantly in Seth's shadows, yearning to be more like him so Elizabeth would love me too. It was more than that though, I also wanted to be like Seth just because I loved my big brother more than anything. He always watched out for me, played with me when no one else wanted to, and made sure I was always happy growing up. He was my hero. It's been over two years since his death, and I still tear up like it was just yesterday. I miss him more than I could ever describe, but I know he'll always be with me in my heart. A day won't go by when I don't think about him. Remembering him had once been painful, but now I can look back and smile because he lived so courageously in the years he had. He left a mark on this world, and that's the most any of us can ask for.
"Daddy sad?" Charlie asks as soon as he notices my change of demeanor.
I want to tell him all about his biological father, and someday I will, but I'm scared he's too young to understand. I want him to know how amazing my brother was… how amazing my sister-in-law, Kate, was. I wish he remembered them. I know he was six months old when they died, but sometimes it breaks my fucking heart that he has no idea who Seth is. I've gathered all the pictures, videos, and everything relating to Seth that I could get my hands on and have them in a box in my closet. I look through the photographs at least once a week. I just love seeing the pictures of us growing up together. It's something that I'd forgotten with all the shit that's happened in my life, so, it's nice to remember the past through countless photos Elizabeth took. I'll show Charlie one day. I don't know what Seth and Kate would've wanted, but I want them to be remembered.
"Daddy's fine, buddy. I was just thinking," I say with a reassuring smile.
"'Bout what daddy?" He asks with a curious look, like he always gets when he wants to know about something.
I run my hands through his messy hair in an effort to tame it. "I was just thinking about how great you're going to be as an older brother."
He beams at this before his attention returns to his M&M's. I rock him in my arms as I open the Kindle app on my phone so I can read him one of his favorite stories while we wait for Bella. We're halfway through Where the Wild Things Are when Alice comes into the waiting room with a tired smile on her face. She hasn't been here long, because Bella went into labor so late last night, shocking us all. Should I really be surprised that she went into labor early? You think with all the surprises I've had, I'd be used to it by now. Jasper stayed home with his two daughters, Cyndy and Ella, while Alice rushed to the hospital to help Bella.
"She wants you guys to go back," Alice says with a smile. "It should be anytime now."
My heart fucking skips a beat. Anytime now! I'm going to have my second son anytime now! I jump to my feet, with Charlie comfortably in my arms, and follow Alice to Bella's room.
"Me brotha!" Charlie exclaims.
"Yes, buddy. You're going to be a brother soon!"
Charlie brought along a special toy that he picked out for his new brother. He insisted that I take him to Toys 'R Us to select the perfect gift. It was really fucking cute, but it also really wore Bella out, being eight months pregnant at the time. We walked around the store for well over an hour, letting Charlie inspect each one. He wanted to be a good big brother before his little brother was even born, and it was so fucking touching to watch.
"What about this one, buddy?" I ask, pointing to a selection of Disney stuffed animals.
"He no like, daddy," Charlie comments with authority, shaking his head at my suggestion.
I suppress a laugh, because I've never seen my three year old so serious before. He runs a hand through his messy hair, just like I do when I'm stressed, and resembles Bella as he taps his finger thoughtfully on his chin as he considers his choices.
Finally, he spots an Eeyore stuffed animal and smiles, eagerly running to grab it off the shelf. It's almost as big as he is, but he doesn't seem to mind as he nearly trips over it as he brings it to me.
"He like dis, daddy," he tells me with a very serious expression.
"Your brother is going to love this one! Good job, buddy."
Charlie smiles and I'm so fucking proud of him. What a smart kid. I can't believe I raised him.
"Your toy is in the room with mommy, remember? You gave it to her to keep her company," I tell him as I bounce him in my arms as we follow Alice through the hallways leading to Bella's room.
"Oh…" Charlie trials off with a goofy smile. "Me get," he giggles.
"You forgot!" I tease him. "I know mommy really appreciated that, Charlie. Her pain is going to be over soon, don't you worry."
"Mommy need hug," he tells me with a very serious look.
"Well, you can hug her as soon as we make it to her room."
When we finally reach her, she's covered in a sheen of sweat, and has a glowing, but tense smile on her face as soon as she sees us. Charlie immediately reaches for her, and with her approval, I set him down carefully at her side. Charlie's instantly fussy, not happy with how pained his mom looks. He puts his head on her belly and babbles to his little brother, as he's done countless times over the past few months. Bella laughs as she watches Charlie attempt to calm his brother down in her belly. I smile at her, enjoying the carefree and silly moment as a family, before her laughter stops and she gasps in agony.
"Mommy!" Charlie cries in alarm.
"It's okay, buddy," I say, scooping him up in my arms before sitting on the bed next to Bella with him on my lap.
Bella breathes through the pain and grabs hold of my hand for support. "I'm fine, Charlie. Don't you worry, baby," she assures him as soon as she gets control of her breathing.
"I'll go tell your nurse we need your doctor," Alice says, giving us one last smile before leaving the hospital room.
We sit in a comfortable silence for a moment as I rub circles on Bella's hand with my thumb. I listen to her breathing as it slows back down and take a moment to appreciate how fucking beautiful she is. Her hair is wet with sweat and pushed back from her pretty face, a face which is currently scrunched with discomfort, but absolutely stunning nonetheless. As strange as it fucking sounds, she looks like some sort of warrior-fucking-goddess. This beautiful woman is about to bring my son into this world.
"Are you nervous?" I ask, as I rock Charlie on my lap.
She lets out a small laugh before putting on a brave face. There's my beautiful girl.
"Not a chance," she says with a look of confidence. However, as soon as another contraction hits, her confidence wavers. "A little," she changes her mind.
"Don't be, you're going to be amazing. Bella, you're the strongest woman I know. If anyone can get through this, it's you."
She smiles at me, the first genuine smile I've seen since we've arrived at the hospital. She squeezes my hand, as I squeeze back, and in that moment, I know everything is going to be okay.
Four grueling hours later, we welcome our son to the world. Charlie's eyes are wide in shock, as if he just watched the most insane magic trick performed right in front of his eyes, which of course must seem that way to him. Our son is 6lbs 11ozx, 19 inches, has ten fingers and ten toes, and is absolutely perfect. He's so fucking handsome and I can't stop staring at him. Before I know it, I'm fucking crying because I've never witnessed anything so beautiful in all of my life. I watch Bella as she tries to feed our son for the first time, kissing her forehead and whispering to her just how much I love her.
Charlie sits on my lap, allowing his little brother to hold onto his finger. "Daddy, my brotha," he tells me with a huge smile.
"Yeah, Charlie. That's your little brother." I smile at him. "What should we name him?"
Charlie thinks for a moment, tapping his finger against his chin, before he finally perks up and exclaims, "Pooh!"
Bella and I both laugh and I bend down to give my son a quick kiss on the forehead. Bella stares at me for a long moment, with a thoughtful smile on her face as she nurses my son for the very first time.
"Seth," she says with a confident smile. "Let's name him Seth."
My world stops for a moment and nothing has ever felt so perfect, so right. Bella is truly the most beautiful woman I've ever met, inside and out. A grin breaks out on my face and tears fill my eyes as I consider the wonderful tribute to my brother. This way, he'll be with me always. I'll have another piece of him to love now that he's gone. A tear slips down my cheek and I don't have it in me to wipe it away. Each time I think I can't possibly be any happier, Bella finds a way to make me happier each day that she's with me. Every day is better than the last with my family at my side.
"That's the perfect name," I say quietly, as fresh tears fill my eyes.
I miss my brother. I'll always miss my brother. He loved me more than I'd ever known. He loved me enough to give me a life I could never have imagined. He gave me the most important thing in his world, he gave me his son, and by doing so he changed my life in the best possible way. I wish there was a way to thank him, to tell him how much his gift has meant to me. I suppose I can thank him by living the life he'd always hoped for me. If he could only see me now.
I love you, brother.
Charlie is the biggest blessing in my life and every day he reminds me more and more of my big brother. I can see it in his carefree smiles, his love for others, and his giving nature. So, in a way, my brother will always be here with me. Maybe Seth knew that. My big brother, always knew what was best for me. I wrap my arm around my wife and our two sons and relish in the feeling of being so fucking whole and perfectly happy.
"Do you like the name Seth, buddy?"
Charlie nods and leans down to give his little brother a kiss on his forehead. "Hi, Seff."
Seth stares up at his big brother for the first time, his eyes filled with wonder as he takes everything in for the first time. This little baby has captured my heart completely. Charlie smiles at him, and introduces himself and Bella and I laugh. I stare at her as she lies relaxed against the pillows on her hospital bed. She gives me a watery smile, and I know she feels the overwhelming love in this hospital room as well. Her cheeks are flushed and she is glowing as she rests with our baby in her arms.
"I love you," I mouth to her over Charlie's head, causing his wild brown hair to tickle my chin.
She smiles at me, looking like a fucking angel as she mouths back, "I love you. So much."
We stare into each other's eyes, still completely captivated by each other after our few years together, as if we'd just met yesterday. Listening to our son to talk his little brother, still looking into each other's eyes, we enjoy the feeling of the first few moments of the rest of our lives. At this moment, as we smile at each other, like a pair of lovesick fools, I know whatever life throws at us, we'll always be alright.
Come what may, we'll always be happy together.
A/N: Guys….thank you so much for reading this story! I still can't believe the reception this story has received! This one is really close to my heart because I can relate to Edward so much! That's why finishing this story is so bittersweet. Thank you so much to each and every one of you that has favorited, followed, and reviewed this story. I can't say how much that means to me! I'm so happy to have finished this story. This is my 9th month on fanfiction so it really feels like my baby! I hope this story meant as much to you as it does to me.
I have a very special surprise in my facebook group for you guys tonight! If you ever want to reach out to me, I'm Lizzie Lee on facebook, so feel free to send me a friend request!
Also, I'll be posting all the outtakes over the next few weeks!
Song- 22 (Over S∞∞N) by Bon Iver.