Disclaimer: *holds knife to Rumiko Takahashi's neck* Well? Will you give me Inu Yasha and co. or not? *Real Rumiko Takahashi walks by* Oops. Sorry, innocent look-alike!
WHEW! Close Shave!
Chapter 2: You Never Know 'Til You Try!
Hey y'all! I'm back! I got 12 reviews! Ah… I've just had a nice cup of coffee… with a LOT of sugar. Thankfully (or not!), the sugar and caffeine takes a while to set in, so I won't be insane until about the middle of the story. I'll warn you when I feel it coming. Thanks for all the nice reviews! I had a brainstorm last night, and to tell you guys the truth, I really want to start on the new 'Shave' story that's coming (supposedly) after this. Can I just say I turn into a very, very naughty child? LOL! On to the story! I better get my reviews when you're done!
Finding Sango, Shippo, and Miroku waiting for them at Kaede, Inu Yasha and the crew instantly set off.
"May good luck come with ye!" Kaede called from the doorway.
"Thanks, Kaede-ba-chan!" Kagome called back.
Soon, the group arrived at the same clearing where they had first seen Naraku shaving.
"Naraku! We're here!" Inu Yasha yelled into the sky.
A mysterious laugh filled the air. "Kukuku… You have finally arrived!"
A shuffling noise came out of a cluster of bushes.
Naraku, once again baboon-skin-clad, came out. "Good… You have come! I thought you wouldn't be here!"
"Yeah, yeah. Get your leg out already!" Inu Yasha snorted.
Naraku looked hurt. "That's not nice, Inu Yasha!"
"Well, who are you? My mother?"
Naraku instantly changed into Inu Yasha's mother. "That's not nice, Inu Yasha!" s/he said, in a motherly tone.
"Err… Okay…? Change back already!"
"Naraku, please get your leg out! We'll need you two men," Kagome gestured to Miroku and Inu Yasha, "to hold him down. Sango and I will do the work."
Naraku changed back and looked very worried. "Hold me down? For what reason?"
"Oh, nothing!" Sango quickly said, coming to her rescue.
Naraku, still looking suspicious, sat down.
Inu Yasha and Miroku looked at each other with big grins. They held Naraku down.
"Sango, please build a fire for me!" Kagome said cheerfully.
"WHAT?! Are going to roast my leg?" Naraku yelled.
"Oh no, silly!" Kagome reassured. 'Hmm… Seems like a good idea!' She whacked herself. 'No naughty thoughts!'
Naraku calmed down a bit and relaxed again.
Sango made the fire and Kagome got out the wax.
She put it next to the fire to warm it. Hurrying over to Naraku, she forced herself to peel back the fabric of his pants and grimaced at the hairiness.
(A/N: It's coming… I can feel the surge of that sugar and caffeine!)
When the wax was warm enough, Kagome put a layer of wax on each of Naraku's legs.
Then, she put a rag over the wax. She pressed down.
"Wow. This isn't so bad!" Naraku said. She relaxed even more.
"Okay, Naraku, I'm going to peel this off. Don't worry; it won't hurt! Just relax and think about how much we care to help you! You know that we would never hurt you!" Kagome said in a comforting voice.
Naraku started to get jumpy. All this talk about help and not hurting was starting to freak him out.
"Okay Naraku. On the count of three, okay?"
Naraku nodded, gulping.
Kagome ripped off the rags with all her might.
Naraku jumped five feet into the air, despite Miroku and Inu Yasha's grasps.
"OWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he screamed. "OHMYGOD! THAT HURT! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! DAMN THAT HURT! OWWWWWWWWWWW! OH THE PAIN! OWWWWWWWWWWWWW! OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH PAINNNNNNNNNNN!"
"Um, Naraku? Are you okay?" Kagome asked, looking skyward.
"I don't know, Kagome… Does it look it?" Inu Yasha asked sarcastically.
"Yeah." Kagome still sounded blind to all problems.
Inu Yasha sighed. 'Idiots now, idiots forever.'
Naraku finally hit the earth in a painful THUD.
Everyone winced. "Ow… That would've hurt."
"Ow! That hurt!" Naraku whined. "What the hell did you do that for? That really, really hurt!"
"Sorry, Naraku!" Inu Yasha said cheerfully. He grinned.
Naraku glared hatefully at Inu Yasha, who just sneered.
Turning over to Kagome, he asked, "Are you sure that's going to work? Are you absolutely sure? Because that was a lot of pain!"
Kagome looked to the ground. "Well, I'm not totally sure, but it should work! Usually it takes about three weeks before you have to wax/shave again."
"THREE WEEKS? You mean that I'm going to have to repeatedly hurt myself? I'm too beautiful to be hurt!" Naraku shrieked.
Inu Yasha snorted. "You? Beautiful? As if! I'm more beautiful than you!"
Miroku glared at both of them.
"I AM the MOST beautiful of all! After all, I'm not a virgin!"
Thinking about it for a second, Naraku and Inu Yasha nod.
Sango glares. "You aren't?"
Miroku smiles and walks over. "Well, I might be, I might not. Want to confirm it to 'not a virgin' for me?"
Sango's eyes glow. She punches him in the gut. "You perv!" she hissed.
Naraku once again looked down at his legs. He looked them over and over.
Nodding, he said, "This wax works better than I thought!"
Inu Yasha, too, looked down. "What do you mean? It's growing back right now! Look!"
And it was! Hair was sprouting from Naraku's legs, looking like a sped-up movie.
"Wow!" Kagome and Sango breathed out.
Naraku gasped and sucked in his breath. "I can't believe it… just unbelievable! This is impossible!"
"It's okay, Naraku!" Inu Yasha said cheerfully.
"NO, IT'S NOT! AFTER ALL THAT PAIN, TOO!" Naraku howled.
"Oh, stop being a baby. It can't be that bad!" Kagome said, waving it away.
"Yes. It. IS!" Naraku said.
Inu Yasha smiled. "Naraku, chill out!" he said in a bright and cheery manner.
Shippo looked amazed. "Look! It stopped growing! Now it's thicker than ever and fuzzy!"
Sango also looked down. "Awesome! It's like fuzzy leggings, but it's not!" She put on her puppy eyes. "Can I pet it?"
"No," was the blunt answer.
"Then we won't help you!" Sango said, pouting.
Inu Yasha looked outraged. "Yes we would!"
"No, we wouldn't!" Sango ground out, gritting her teeth.
"Oh, right!" Inu Yasha said meekly, hiding behind Kagome.
"Now, can we touch it?" Sano asked, nicely once again.
"Uh, sure." Naraku looked threatened.
Sango put her hand down. First, she pet the left leg. "Oh… It's so soft! It's like you put fabric softener in it!"
"I do!" Naraku said proudly.
Shippo carefully touched the right leg. Instantly, he withdrew the hand, which sported a small cut. "Ow! Did you fun out of fabric softener or something Naraku? This leg is like, covered with barbed wire!"
Naraku looked sheepish. "Yeah, that leg is a bit stubborn, and I forgot to soak it, so it's a bit hard."
"A bit? A BIT? That thing could kill something!"
Naraku grinned. "It already did."
Shippo and Sango quickly withdrew from the spot.
Kagome looked a bit uncomfortable, so she changed the subject… fast! "Erm… Naraku, since that didn't work, lets try Nair!"
"Nair? What's Nair?"
Kagome smiled, which caused everyone else to wince. "You have lots to learn, child…"
Seems like a good spot to stop, right? Sorry for not updating for forever, but I was caught up in Camp of the Chaotics, which I usually have trouble with. This time, however, I had no writer's block at all! I had to stop and write that, you see? Well, now that that's over, I have an offer to make. Would someone like to be a beta reader for my upcoming fic, 'Red Lantern'? It's an A/U (I still don't know what that stands for, although I know what it means.), Inu Yasha/Kagome, and set in China in the early 1900's. It should be pretty serious and an okay story to read. Anyone interested, please review and tell me! I would greatly appreciate it! Review anyway, though!
Responses to Reviews:
d. g. and crew: Pathetic as it might be, it works! I am, however, very thankful of your comments! I know it took a lot to say so, D.G., so thank you greatly! A trauma, Brat? Scary…
Lonely Angel to Sadness:It's okay. I have a whole roomful of people who want restraints from me, but I don't care. How do I know it's a roomful? I jammed them in there and looked the door and threw away the key. Oh well! Oh Darien…!
Julia-Tears:Chapter 20? Wow! You sure write fast! Yes, Inu Yasha is sadly obsessed, but what do I care? I heard wax is indeed very painful, and that Nair is the worst smelling thing in Shave land. I also heard that you miss a whole lot of spots, but hey, what do I care? It's all for Naraku!
LadyMakoto:Sorry, your highness! I shall hurry and write more!
Lady BlackDragonFire:Tell me about it! Thank you for the support!
That one girl-no, not her, me:Yes, king of the world like Jack said in Titanic! Hehe. Yes, da very, very stupid. Think, me with a monkey hat. (TW: Wait! I want that hat back you know!) LOL!
Ari Sky: It shall never be rubbed out of my memory! It's okay, K-chan… you'll get Internet soon!
Cold Fire Phoenix:I love your reviews! Nice and long and very, very good for my brain! Good quote! I can see that ice rink perfectly! Thanks for all the support and hope to hear from you again!
Tatsu-chan:It's okay, Tatsu-chan! Your mom will give the computer back soon! If only we had laptops with Internet!
Takiaa Hart:Go you! Don't hurt your self on the floor! Haha. I can't wait to see if you can keep the same pen name for your next review! Up to the challenge?
Lunatic Pandora:I'm trying to continue faster! Thanks for the support!