Holy shit. I'd never thought I'd do it, but GUESS WHAT!? I'M GOING CRACK! That's right! Outlandish scenarios and crossovers that will make you waste your life comprehending why I would make something like this.

And before you worry about me putting out too many stories for me to update, just remember, I update when I want during the summer.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything because I'm poor and I have no friends, except this story, which doesn't mean shit anyway.


An Orochi stares at the sky, lying on the wet, muddy ground, too weak to even turn over. Taro Yamada knew this was it. Lying defeated, wounded and tired, from a Raider that caught him off-guard. He could only glance up as the daylight grew dimmer. He could see rain clouds in the sky, as heavy rain came pouring down. He could only feel the cold water pour into his armor. His eyesight grew weaker as the water clouded vision only seeing the flash of lightning. He could hear the pitter patter of raindrops as they fell on him. Slowly, but surely, he blacks out.

But the sound of thunder wakes him up again, finding himself in a house resembling that of the Dawn Empire. He sees himself shirtless as he looked for his samurai armor and weapon as he saw it by the mantle near his bed. He looks out the strange transparent window to see that it was still raining. He hears the sound of creaking as he turned his head to the door in agitation. He sees an old man, carrying a tea set and a wet towel.

"Ah, I see you are awake young man. Be calm for now, you've been in the rain for quite some time."

"Who are you?"

The old man then sits beside the bed and sets the tea and wipes the young Orochi's forehead.

"I am Musashi Yamada."

Taro knew that he had to thank the elder for saving him.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Yamada-sama." Taro said sincerely.

"Don't call me that, you can call me ojisan "

"Are you sure?" Taro asked.

"Of course, this old man has had enough of formalities already."

"My name is Taro Yamada."

The old man flinched at the name.

"Is something wrong?" Taro asked curiously, picking up on the old man's flinch.

"Nothing, nice to meet you, Taro. What were you doing in the street so bruised in this weather?"

"I-I do not remember, all I saw was some men pummel me and leaving me for dead."

"Ah, it must be those delinquents then. Misbehaving kids are rampant in these streets."

"No, it was worse than that."

"It had to be worse, no average weapon could damage you with the armor that you were wearing. Which begs the question, why were you wearing samurai armor and holding a katana in public? Are you from Tokyo? We rarely see any cosplayers in Buraza town since tourists rarely come by."

Taro didn't know what this "cosplayer" was, so he shook his head.

"No, I am a samurai, an Orochi. I was simply injured and ended up in your town."

The old man looked skeptical there. He looked like he was about to laugh.

"Ah, a samurai? And with a serpentine name to boot. Are you sure you're not a delusional otaku?"

Taro took that as an insult, this man called him a geek. He removed his mask and snarled at the old man.

"Don't insult me old man, I take my training seriously. What you say shames my honor."

"Very well, meet me at my dojo downstairs in the morning, we'll see if your skill really matches your claim. But for now, just rest, you have been through a lot and need some energy."

The Orochi couldn't argue as he decides to retreat to his futon. He has never felt this comfortable before and he never felt rest quite like this. Hopefully the dawn would arrive a little later. Maybe he'll try to understand his situation tomorrow.


Taro wakes up and heads to the mirror, he looks at his reflection and sees something rather strange. He doesn't know the duration of his unconsciousness but he could tell that his hair has gotten messy and a bit shaggy. His skin wasn't as blemished, holding the cleanliness of a young lad, rather than a battle scarred warrior. His charcoal grey eyes no longer looked tired, but looked young and energetic. It was like his body was contradicting with his mind and soul.

He sees training gear set before him. It looked like the casual attire he would wear when sparring with wooden swords. He sees it as a signal to go down as he changed to his new attire. He explores the house as he finds himself in the dojo, with the old man, Musashi Yamada on the other side.

"Pick up the bokken."

Taro grabs a bokken from the rack. He then stands in front of the old man and bows.

"Not bad, looks like you are familiar with the customs after all."

"Don't patronize me." Taro growled.

Taro then gets into stance, his stance almost unreadable as the old man wore an impressed face. They then proceed to fight. Musashi makes the first move, slicing diagonally at Taro, who parries it and hits the old man's stomach. The old man seemed awestruck that he was defeated so quickly.

"Another round?" Taro asked with smugness in his voice, before returning to stance. "As you wish."

Taro slashes but Musashi parries it away, and tries to thrust at Taro. Taro then redirects the strike and tries a slice, but Musashi blocks it. Musashi then tries another slash, but Taro parries it and puts the bokken to his neck. The old man's eyes widened as he was defeated so quickly.

"I win."

Taro then withdraws his sword and bows, with Musashi doing the same. Musashi was awe-struck, no one had ever even come close to beating him at his own sport. He was a nanadan rank practitioner and has never been beaten by someone DECADES younger than him.

"Do you believe me now?" Taro asked.

"I really can't believe it…" the old man expressed as he then bowed to Taro. "But you did beat me, and I have met no youngster with discipline and concentration like yours. I will give you the benefit of the doubt for now."

Taro was satisfied with the progress he made so far, at least the old man wouldn't make his samurai background.

"My thanks, though I still have a query."

"Yes?"

"Why did you flinch when I said my name? It was almost as if it triggered something."

The old man was visibly surprised to hear that.

"You noticed that?"

"I'm very good at reading body language, it comes naturally as a warrior."

The old man sighed as he walked to the living room.

"Looks like I can't hide it any longer."

Taro followed Musashi to see the living room, a simple short table and pillows on the floor. While it did resemble the traditional home of the Dawn Empire, but it was too clean for his standards. There was a strange device on the end of the room. The old man then gestured to the window.

"Look outside."

Taro saw the strangest view in his life. The houses were not that of the Dawn Empire, or that of the Iron Legion or even the Warborn. It was clean, the houses had nearly the same style and color and their design was too foreign. Taro looked in awe as he saw the planes fly above and cars and bikes move past the streets.

"What is this world?"

"The Empire you once knew is gone. It's been almost 500 years since your days of glory."

"No! Did the knights and vikings win? What happened?"

"The samurai were wiped out, the other warriors you've mentioned are also long dead and extinct."

Taro couldn't take all of this in, the greatest warriors were wiped out, extinct, faded into obscurity. He fell on the floor in defeat as he tried to comprehend what was happening. The old man then tells Taro.

"But that's not the reason I brought you here."

Taro then looks up to see Musashi holding a picture, with Musashi in the picture and an unidentified young man in the picture. Taro looked closer to see that the younger man looked just like him but younger and cleaner, with a more youthful face. But Taro then realized that he also became youthful, he remembered his face in the bathroom, being much cleaner and younger than the face he already had.

"Tell me son, how old are you?"

"I am twenty four years old."

"And you notice your uncanny resemblance with this boy?"

"Yes."

"My grandson would be turning eighteen years old this year, he ran away from home some time ago and he hasn't returned."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"And you know his name? Taro Yamada."

Taro froze for a second as he realized what this meant.

"Are you sure you aren't my boy?" the old man asked shakily. "You remind me so much of him."

"N-No! I'm a samurai! I've never seen a world like this! I've never met you in my life!"

The old man sighed dejectedly as he put the picture back on the drawer.

"I figured as much… I was hoping that you would be my grandson, but judging from how you reacted to the modern world, you clearly aren't him."

Taro took a sigh as he tried to wrap his head around his current situation.

"Ojisan, I have a question."

"Yes?"

"I have nowhere to go as of the moment and I don't have a home right now, may I stay at your house for now?"

"Of course, you are already lost as it is, let me help you. But first thing on the agenda, we have to change your clothing."


Taro felt weird wearing these clothes. A strange tunic called a "t-shirt" and "pants" for the lower body. He also had to wear a strange shaped loincloth called "underwear". The outer layer of clothing was called a "jacket" meant for covering him from the weather. He also had to wear strange, but comfortable footwear known as "sneakers". He never wore something like this. This future world was too outlandish for him anyway.

"Now you can't carry a katana around, as you might be arrested for publicly carrying a deadly weapon."

"But I feel naked without my weapon."

"Then bring a bokken instead. We live in peace now, we no longer need to worry about war and fighting."

"Pardon me, but if this outfit is for going outside, then where are we going?"

"We are going to enroll you in Akademi High School. Though you claim to be twenty four, other people will see you as a teenager, and a person your age who isn't going to school is bound to attract unwanted attention."

"Okay, but won't I have to take an entrance exam? I'm familiar with the concept of schools and I'm quite sure that I have to take an entrance exam."

"The school encourages multicultural learning, as long as you excel in one field, they'll let you in. Now listen to me, if they ask who is your family, just tell them that I am your grandpa, okay?"

"Got it."

"Good, just let me get dressed and we'll be on our way to the school."


Taro lounged around in the living room as he examined it with wonder. The contraption on the ceiling was meant to cool down the room. The strange box on the cabinet could play moving pictures. The other contraptions could play music, light the room, and etcetera. But he sees Musashi in his outgoing clothes and takes that as a signal to leave with him out the door. Taro looked at this new world with awe as he started walking with the old man to the academy.

"Now listen, some people are going to be really surprised by your appearance. Since you look like my grandson, people may mistake you for him and you should not correct them. We need to keep your true identity under wraps, understand?" Musashi asked.

"Perfectly." Taro replied casually.

As they walked they passed by a bakery, where Taro could see all the colorful desserts and food. He felt his mouth water at the tasty treats as he admired the store front.

"Looking for something to eat?" a gentle voice asked.

Taro looked to his right to see a light brown haired girl. Her short brown was pulled back by a light mint green handkerchief and mint green eyes. She had light mint green apron along with striped stockings of the same color. Her eye color was mesmerizing as Taro had never seen such a color before. She gave off a gentle aura, reminding Taro of an elderly-sister type of person.

"Ah, I was just admiring the pastries, they look very good to eat."

"That's very nice of you to say that! I made them myself! You want a free sample?"

Taro then sees the glare of Musashi from across the street as he realized that he was wasting time.

"Sorry, maybe later, I still have to accompany my grandfather to Akademi."

"He's your grandfather? Musashi Yamada?" the girl noted as she saw the old man across the street. "He's quite popular in this town, my mother used to tell me how he was her childhood hero. And then again, you do look like his old pictures."

"Yes I know, people say that." Taro lied. "Anyway, I have to go, see you soon!"

"Wait! If you're Musashi's grandson, what's your name?"

"Taro Yamada."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Amai Odayaka!" she said with a huge smile.

Taro gave her a nod as he ran across the street. He wore an embarrassed look as Musashi scowled at him.

"What's with you? Few minutes and you already get sidetracked by an interested girl!"

"I just wanted the pastries, they look delicious."

"Let's not waste any time okay? We need you to root yourself in this town before anyone notices anything off about you."

"Like what?"

"You look at everything like it's amazing. Your choice of word and speech makes you look like you're carrying a thesaurus around. And your non-youthful attitude makes you stand out."

"Okay, fair enough. I have another question, if you had a grandson with you, where were his parents?"

"When my grandson was still alive, he studied also in Akademi. But when he ran away two years ago, his parents moved away from this town and took his sister to another school."

"Wait, but won't it be suspicious if people suddenly see me alive?" Taro asked worrriedly.

"That's the thing, we have to act like you were never gone."

"While that sounds a little heartless, how about the parents, what if they find me here?"

"They most likely won't come back here, the blame for my grandson's disappearance was mostly cast onto me… I don't think they'll ever come back."

Taro noticed the sullen look in Musashi's eyes. He decides not to push the issue as they approached the school. It looked majestic. The walkway was lined with sakura trees, with the entrance up ahead with the school name written on the gold plate. The school was large as Taro saw all the students wearing particularly strange uniforms. He felt many stares on him as he looked at the school in astonishment.

"Come on, let's go!" Musashi chided.

"Sorry, I'm just so astonished… All my life, I've never seen the cherry blossoms bloom."

Musashi wore a face of shock at what Taro said.

"You… have never seen this? At all?"

"Nope, I'm usually far from home to notice these types of beautiful things."

Noticing the old man wear a face of pity, Taro decides to change the subject.

"Why are the skirts of the girls so short?" Taro asked loudly.

"Shhhh!" Musashi hissed. "You don't say something like that in public!"

"Sorry, I was just curious."

"Well tone down a bit, we're here."


They enter a large room, where the floor is a scarlet red with a large white rug in the middle. Two gray couches surround a coffee table on the white rug. Towards the back of the room is a large desk with a key on it, a small plant and a stack of papers. In the two back corners are two medium-sized trees. Two bookshelves are located at each of the room's sides. Taro could even see a katana in a case, located on the right wall. But Taro switched his attention back to the table, where a tired, middle aged man was working. He had short dark brown hair and glasses. He wore a light blue shirt with a red tie under a green vest. The man noticed Musashi entering and smiles saying.

"Ah, Sensei Musashi what can I do for you?"

"I came to enroll my grandson to your school." Musashi said before facing Taro. "Taro, this is Headmaster Kocho Shuyona.

The Headmaster looks at Taro, who makes a respectful bow.

"Good morning Headmaster Shuyona, my name is Taro Yamada and I wish to enroll in your school."

Kocho Shuyona was surprised by Taro's speech and turns to Musashi.

"Your grandson is very respectful, what happened to his previous rebellious behavior?" the Headmaster asked.

"I don't know, he came back to my house, completely changed two years after he ran away."

"So what do you want from me? Why don't you go through normal enrollment procedure?"

"I need this boy back in school as soon as possible, and I know that you can make that as quick as possible."

Both stayed silent at this.

"You know I can't keep pulling strings like this." the Headmaster warned.

"What? Like you did with the police and the media?" Musashi replied fiercely.

"Don't say that in front of him." the Headmaster hissed, referring to Taro in the back.

"I want him to learn from your mistakes." the old man said bluntly. "Make no mistake, I will still keep your secret, but I'm still as disappointed in you ever since that day in 1989."

Taro was curious about what happened back in this "1989". The Headmaster just sighed deeply as he then decided to change the subject.

"Well, have you brought in his paperwork?"

"Yes, his birth certificate and his previous grades. I also have his passport."

"I'm surprised, I would have figured that the parents would have taken those with them."

"They wanted no memory of him when they left."

"I'll have my secretary ready him for the entrance exam, he will start classes this Monday."

"Wait, when is the exam starting?" Taro asked.

"Now." the Headmaster replied with a smirk.

Taro was nervous as he saw a woman enter the room.

"You called for me sir?"

"Yes, please take Yamada-san to the testing room."

"Gladly, please come this way sir."

Taro gave Musashi a pleading look as he was being led out of the room. As soon as Taro left, Musashi chuckled.

"I wonder how he will react to the fact that the result of this entrance exam is negligible."

"Easy for you to say, I won't always be sticking up for your boy." the Headmaster added.

"Just this once." Musashi pleaded. "And I'll never bring it up again."

"Deal."


Taro was sweating profusely as this test was difficult. The mathematics and science part was almost impossible, except for the mechanical problems, since he worked with gear-based machinery back in the Dawn Empire, it was a bit easier, but still utterly unanswerable. The World History part was impossible Taro didn't really know what happened, so he had to draw parallels from his own history. But the next part, Japanese studies was a breeze, the legends of Yamata no Orochi? Every Orochi in the Dawn Empire was taught that legend. The language? Taro was a well-versed speaker, of course he would know the language extensively. Culture and customs? Common knowledge. The final part, was English test, Taro had an advantage. The language that they call "English" was rooted to the language of the Iron Legion, and being talented at espionage, he had to pick up on the Iron Legion language being spoken. Taro quickly writes, and the alarm startles as he finishes the final item.

"Time's up! Pass your paper!"

Taro breathed a sigh of relief as he turned in the paper, with the proctor asking.

"Not too difficult eh?"

"It couldn't be more difficult. I fear that I will fail."

"You'll never know until you see the results, good luck."

"You too."

Taro leaves the room, with the proctor remarking.

"That boy seems a little too formal and advanced in his language, not even a sign of a slang or a tinge of youthful speech. And not to mention he always carries that bokken with him. What's with that?"


Taro had some free time, seeing that the sun has yet to set. He tries returning to the office, but he sees the Headmaster and Musashi in heavy discussion. Not wanting to disturb them he decides to go exploring around the school. He looks out to see the wide facilities and weird painted grounds. This was a strange place, but since Taro was in a new world, he had to adapt and deal with it, regardless of how strange and unsettling the scene may be. But he then hears the large sound of running as he sees a girl run up to him, accompanied by two other girls from behind.

"Osana! Slow down a little wouldya?"

Taro examined the girl in front of him. She had long, orange twintails that reach her knees. The ends of her hair fade into a small yellow gradient. Her hair was tied up in thin pink scrunchies with white polka dots, and she woew salmon pink stockings with white polka dots with black shoes. She wore a small red bow on the right side of her head. She then points a finger at him and said.

"You! Tell me your name!"

Taro looked left and right, slightly confused at this.

"Me?"

"Yeah you!"

"Osana, why would you want to—" one of her friends asked before being cut off.

"Quiet!" Osana chided before facing Taro. "What's your name?"

"Why would you want to know my name?"

Osana then turned red in the face as she screamed.

"I-It's not like I wanted to know you more!"

"Taro Yamada, grandson of Musashi Yamada."

Osana's eyes widened as she approached him with wonder and awe in her eyes.

"So it's really you…"

Taro took a step back in uncertainty, unsure what to make of this.

"Um yes, what about it?"

"You don't remember me?"

Taro squinted his eyes hard to try and see if she was familiar.

"I'm sorry if I have met you before, but I can't seem to recognize you. Maybe a name would ring a bell?"

Taro then saw the girl look fuming mad, as if she were ready to burst. Taro could have sworn that steam was coming out of her ears.

"Idiot! Like I wanted you to know my name! I-It's not like I wanted to talk to you anyway!"

The girl storms off, with her friends in tow. Taro couldn't even process what happened. He shrugs it off and goes to the back of the school, where he sees an odd sight. Around the corner, he saw a gathering. He looked closer to see that there were students surrounding a girl. The girl had fair skin, black hair that is tied into a ponytail, and grey eyes. She seemed apathetic to what was happening even though the people surrounding her seemed threatening as they held their tools like official weapons.

"Osorō-dono has been down ever since you left the school Yan-chan, please you have to come back to him."

"No, I won't. I don't care anymore about what happens in that school." the girl replied indifferently.

"Why you—" one of the delinquent girls growled as she instinctively moved to strike "Yan-chan" with her club.

Taro took this as his signal to move in as he blocked the delinquent's golf club with his bokken.

"Wha—"

The delinquents stepped back to analyze the new threat. Taro had gotten in between these delinquents and the girl.

"Who the hell are you!?" the leader of the group demanded. "You have some nerve to interfere with our business."

Taro ignored their threats as he faced the girl and pulled her up, who seemed awestruck by his sudden appearance. He asks her.

"What's your name lady?"

"A-Ayano Aishi."

"Well Ayano-san, please leave right now, you might get hurt."

The girl couldn't move, so Taro had assumed that she was too scared to actually run away. Taro then faces the delinquents, who numbered to about five of them, all ready to kill. Taro took a deep breath and sighed, his civilian mindset now turned off, it was time for the Orochi state of mind.

"Hahaha! This otaku thinks he can take us on! Let's teach him a lesson."

Taro had now become the Orochi, his vision had completely changed, in his mind, the delinquents became vikings and his bokken, now became a katana. He gets into stance as his enemies charged. He parries one strike and slices the back of his first enemy. He then blocks another strike from an opponent. He then grabs his opponent's hand as he spun to strike another incoming enemy. With the momentum of the spin, he threw and slammed his other opponent whose hand he grabbed. He then redirects a strike, coming from the last opponent and elbowed his face. All his opponents were down and defeated.

He exits his Orochi state of mind and returns to reality, seeing a bunch of beaten teenagers on the ground. A few students had been watching from the windows and started muttering among themselves.

"Aren't those the Karejji High School delinquents?"

"No way, Osorō wouldn't stand for it!"

"Yeah, but they only came here because his sister Osoro was absent! These territorial disputes between delinquents are just sibling squabbles!"

"But look, those guys were beaten by one of the upper classmen!"

"Who is that guy?"

"Who cares? I'd have him as my senpai any day if it means protection from those delinquents!"

Taro then approaches Ayano, who was amazed at the display. She shyly averted her gaze while blushing.

"T-Thank you… senpai."

Taro was a bit interested to know the connotations of "senpai" in this new future, but he had more pressing matters to attend to. He then tells Ayano.

"Don't mention it. I was just doing what was necessary."

Taro then sees Musashi approach him, he seemed fuming as he saw the bruised teenagers at Taro's feet. He pulls Taro away as they retreat to a less crowded place by the school's entrance.

"What were you thinking!? You could have gotten expelled for doing that!" the man chided.

"I was only protecting the girl." Taro curtly replied.

"Yes, but considering the beating you gave those poor kids, I don't think anyone will believe you."

"I was only taking the logical course of action. I saw a threat, and I eliminated it."

"Did you consider running away? Not all fights are meant to be fought!"

"I could not leave the girl to their mercy."

Musashi let a groan of frustration as he just retreated to clear his head. He then returns to Taro.

"Forget about it, let's go home."

"When will I get my entrance exam results?"

"Tomorrow, hopefully the mail will be early."


Musashi and Taro took the walk home, with the sun finally setting, and the moon rising. Taro still had a lingering question in his mind.

"Ojisan, do you know a girl named Osana?"

"Of course, she was my grandson's childhood friend, she's been down ever since he ran away. But I think she'll be in for quite the…" Musashi paused before his face paled. 'You didn't meet her did you?"

"I did, I told her that I didn't remember her."

Musashi looked like he was about to choke Taro.

"You idiot! You might have possibly broken her fragile heart!"

"She didn't seem affected by it."

"God help me, you're as dense as my grandson. She's had a crush on my grandson for years, of course she'd feel heartbroken and hide it!"

"Oh." Taro expressed, realizing his mistake.

"No matter." Musashi sighed exasperatedly. "Just fix it up with her this Monday."

As soon as they reached the house. Taro could feel a strange presence watching them as he entered. He stopped to look around for anything suspicious. Being an Orochi, he knew when someone was spying on them.

"Taro! Are you coming inside?"

"Uh yes!"

Taro hurriedly walks in, failing to notice Ayano peeking from the bushes. Though he may be a warrior, high school presents quite some challenges of its own. And Taro hasn't seen nothing yet of what's to come.


And that's it! Holy crap! This must be the most ridiculous story I've written to date! If you ever ask my why I did this, just assume that I'm on crack.