Thank you so much so everyone who has followed me along this journey!

It has been a bash!

Rachel :'D

Chapter 38

Stepping into the hospital room once more, Jim wasn't sure if he was glad or scared that Spock was sitting up in bed, wide awake.

When he glanced up at him, he stopped, and they awkwardly stared at each other for a few minutes.

Bones coughed loudly, "Well then. I'll just... be standing guard outside. Just remember that the windows are too high up to jump out of".

Jim sent him a dark look but allowed him to leave.

Turning back to the Vulcan, he gave an awkward smile, "He, uh... He thinks I'll try to escape".

"Will you?"

And god it had been far too long since he'd heard that voice.

"... I don't know" He admitted, slowly walking over to sit down next to the hospital bed, "Do you... want me to leave?"

"... Do you want to leave?"

Jim didn't answer.

Spock gave a quiet sight.

"I know you don't want to be with me now but-"

"Wait, what?!"

The Vulcan stared at him, "... What what?"

"You think- I don't- I'm not wanting to- You think I want to leave?"

"... Do you not?"

"What, no, I'd never-" Jim abruptly stopped and turned to him, "I thought you wanted me to leave?!"

"... Why?"

"Well, because I- I- I killed your family".

His eyes darkened, "They were not my family. And they deserve to be dead".

"But then... why did you flinch when you woke up that last time?"

"Because I made you kill someone. I was the reason for you having to murder someone that-"

"-that was your family" the human finished, "... You don't care that I killed them?"

"No... Do you not care that you had to kill them?"

He shook his head.

They stared at each other for a minute before giving strained smiles.

"Guess this is our own fault then, huh" Jim said, and Spock nodded, wringing bandaged hands together restlessly.

"I... I could... you know... touch you?"

The blonde blinked at him and the Vulcan flushed, "I'm... all of my kind are... we're-"

"Touch telepaths" He realised with sudden clarity, "Obviously. I should have- I should have realised that-"

Jim stopped and took a deep breath, "... Would you be okay with that?"

"... I want to see what happened. I want- I want to know how you feel, how I feel in relation to-" Spock cut himself off, before carefully glancing up and holding out a trembling hand, "... Please?"

Jim smiled and dragged his chair forwards, gladly taking the younger's hand.

Almost immediately he was assaulted by a hundred different feeling and emotions and memories that were not his own.

Regret, guilt, anger, fear, despair-

But never blame.

He didn't hate him.

He didn't even dislike him.

He didn't want him to leave.

Slowly pulling back, Spock looked at him carefully.

Jim stared at him, "... Can I kiss you?"

"God yes".

Surging forwards, they finally reconnected for the first time in weeks, full of relief and joy and contentment because they were finally finally back together.

Grinning, Jim carefully pulled back, keeping his hands on either side of the Vulcan's head, supporting himself to prevent further injuring his once-more boyfriend.

Spock smiled shyly back up at him, and the blonde couldn't help but kiss him once more.

"So we're good?"

"Yes" He replied, "We're good".

"... Are you good?"

Spock's smile dimmed somewhat, "... With you, eventually, I might be".

Sitting back down in his chair, Jim made sure to keep their hands intertwined, even as he beamed down at the man still lying in the bed.

Now, though, they'd have to sort out the technicalities.

"I'm leaving".

Spock frowned, suddenly worried looking.

Jim swallowed thickly, "I've, ah... I've been offered a ship, by Starfleet... I don't have much of an option to refuse".

"... They'll arrest you?"

"Most likely" He replied, "Turns out, however, Pike's got a few contacts. That, plus me being George Kirk's son, something that has finally come back to benefit me, as well as reports from the various species and planets we've helped over the last few months... They've decided I'd make a good captain".

"You already are a good captain".

He grinned, "Well obviously! But now it's official. Something about good crisis management and clear decisiveness shown during a difficult mission that resulted in no good-guy causalities... I'm paraphrasing, of course".

Spock smiled, "Of course... So, when do you leave?"

"In three days' time" He replied, "It's a five-year long mission. They've even given me my own ship, called it the 'Enterprise'. All minor personal will be hired for me. I just have to pick the major positions".

"Your own crew".

"Exactly. Nyota will be Head Communications Officer, Chekov Head of Navigations, Sulu my Head Helmsman, Scotty Chief Engineer, and Bones as my CMO".

Spock slowly nodded, looking crestfallen.

Jim couldn't help but grin in response.

"So, all I need now... Is my First Officer".

His head snapped up.

The blonde stared at him

The Vulcan looked almost hopeful.

"... You mean-"

"I really do hate breaking in newbies".

"Well I wouldn't want to have to make you do that".

"And really, it'd be a pain trying to introduce them to everyone".


"You wouldn't want to be making life difficult for me".

"I really would not".

"Then it's sorted then" Jim announced, "Bones and I will try to delay the mission, if it were urgent then I'd have left by now. Vulcan's have superior healing abilities anyway, so we shouldn't have to delay it too long... Will you join me?"

"As your First Mate?"

"... As my Mate in everything?"

Spock's smile widened, "I believe I can do that".

Jim grinned, leaning forwards to capture his lips with his own once more.

"You'll follow me then?"

"I'll follow you anywhere" He replied softly, "Through Hail, Rain, or Sunshine".