I don't own Twilight but I do own most of the ideas used, but I am perfectly okay with borrowing them for a while. So I've been going back and forth on whether I was going to start uploading for this story or not. During my absent period I started working on some new stuff just to get a feel for writing again and my amazing beta, Amber, thought I should upload this story. So here y'all go. Let me know what you thing. Should I continue or just quit while I'm ahead?
Three months ago, if somebody had told me that my loving boyfriend was going to be the cause of my early demise I would have laughed in their face. I thought Edward was the love of my life, my soulmate. My my my, how things can change so quickly when secrets are revealed.
"Bella! Get down here you disgusting little freak!" I shudder as I recognize that tone. Renee isn't happy and somehow it's my fault.
I try and take as much time as I can to walk downstairs because I know what's waiting for me. I hate it when she's like this because it always ends with me covered in bruises.
"You better hurry the fuck up bitch. I'm not in the mood to be kept waiting." Renee growls as I see her waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me.
"Yes mom," I say softly avoiding eye contact. I know how much she hates it when I look her in the eye.
"Do you understand how much you've ruined my life?! Ever since you were born you've been nothing but one problem after another!" She shouts as she delivers a painful slap.
I grasp my cheek forcing myself to hold back tears. By now I've learned to not ask what I did wrong. That only seems to upset her even more.
"I was lucky enough to find a man that would marry me even though I'm saddled with a freak like you for a "daughter", and now I can't even travel with him because of you!" She yells as she slaps me again.
"I….I'm sorry….." I mumble as my vision starts to blur from the tears welling up in my eyes.
"I don't want your fucking apology I want you to disappear so I can finally have a fucking life." She hisses as she slaps me again.
"I can always go live with my dad." I mumble hoping that's a solution she would be happy with.
I stand in silence as I wait for another slap to be delivered. "Hmm, that might be the best idea you've ever had in your pathetic excuse of a life." She says causing me to sigh in relief.
"Pack all of your shit. I'm calling Charlie and getting you on the first plane out of here and out of my life." Renee says as she takes off back into the kitchen.
I waste no time running upstairs and packing all of my stuff. I thought I would have to wait another year to finally get out of this house of hell. I hope living with Charlie isn't this bad.
I've been living with Charlie for a few months now and honestly I didn't think my life could get worse than Renee, but I was so wrong.
I thought I was lucky to have fallen "in love" with the handsome Edward Cullen, but he was worse than Renee because he made me trust him. I let my walls down because I thought he actually loved me, but I was so very wrong. Everything changed the day he found out about my condition. I thought that because he was a vampire he would understand about something being forced on you that you can't control, but clearly not. He and most of his family went from the loving family I always wanted to being the cold and heartless monsters that you read about in books. The only ones who were actively nice to me on a daily basis were Alice and Emmett. I know Esme tried, but Carlisle was more controlling than he originally appeared to be...….
It had taken months but I finally felt like I was ready to tell the Cullen's my secret. We were all sitting in the living room enjoying a family evening.
"I….ummm….there's something I would like to tell all of you." I say nervously as all the attention in the room turns to focus on me.
"Is there something wrong love?" Edward asks in concern with a faint smile. That was the smile I fell in love with. The smile that helped keep my nightmares away every time I closed my eyes.
"There's nothing wrong per say. It's just that there's something I've been hiding from all of you, and I'm tired of hiding." I sigh as I start fidgeting with my fingers. I really wish I had Alice's power so I could see how they would all react.
As if on cue Alice gasps as she's sucked into a vision. I feel dread settle in my heart when Edward releases an angry growl as he glares at me.
"You're a fucking freak!" Edward growls causing me to flinch back in fear for the first time since we met. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but I thought he would at least hear me out.
"Edward, please don't….." I don't even have time to finish my sentence before the back of his hand meets my cheek.. I feel my cheek crack from his shocking blow.
"You don't have the right to speak anymore." He growls as he attempts to slap me again but is quickly like stopped by Emmett.
"I understand that you're upset right now Edward, but that doesn't give you the right to abuse her." Emmett growls as I watch Alice back him up.
"Stay the fuck out of this Emmett. This freak is unfortunately my mate so I can do with her what I damn well please!" He growls as he quickly pulls away from Emmett and turns back to me.
"Is this why you really moved to Forks? You've always said your mother never wanted you. Is this why?" Edward continues to yell as I look at the others for help.
"Yes," I whisper softly as Edward growls yet again. I feel Edward wrap his hand around my neck as I'm suddenly pressed into a wall.
"Edward!" Esme yells as I feel his hand starting to tighten around my throat. "Please stop before you kill her!" Esme shouts, yet doesn't actually do anything to stop him and help me.
"From the sounds of it I'd be doing her a favor!" Edward growls as I feel myself starting to blackout. Suddenly I feel air rush into my lungs as Edward hand is forcefully removed.
"I don't give a damn if you're her mate or not, I won't stand here and watch you hurt my little sister." Emmett growls as he maintains his chokehold on Edward.
"Emmett, that's enough. I can see that tempers are running high right now and maybe we all just need time to process. Edward, how about you take Bella home." Carlisle says clearly not paying attention to anything that just happened.
"No, I'll take Bella home. Edward you stay the hell away from her." Alice says as she quickly rushes to my side and ushers me out of the house.
"Just remember Bella you and I still have unfinished business to attend too." Those are the last words I heard from Edward for weeks. I knew he was planning something I just never knew how far he would take it.
That was almost of month ago. Edward would always find some way to keep me on edge while at school. I've never seen so much hatred directed at me from eyes that used to look at me with love. Emmett and Alice did their best to protect me, but even so Edward always found a way around them.
Rosalie and Jasper, I can understand both of them keeping their distance, but I thought Carlisle and Esme cared about me, but clearly that's not the case. Whenever I ask about Esme, Alice and Emmett get this sad look on their faces. I can tell that this is a bad situation for everybody involved and I feel horrible because it's all my fault. Renee is right, I've been nothing but a problem since the day I was born….
If I was truly smart I would have taken all of those glares Edward sent me as a clear sign that he no longer held any kind of love for me in his heart. Again if I was smart I wouldn't have followed him out to the middle of the woods alone knowing full well I couldn't escape him if I tried.
"Hello Bella," Edward says with more venom than I'm used to hearing when he says my name. Before it used to roll off his tongue so fluidly it would make my knees weak. Now it causes a chill to run down my spine in the worst way imaginable.
"Why are we out here Edward? Are you finally ready to talk?" I know the answer to both questions, but I want him to confirm them for me. I'm trying to be strong, already having a bit of a feeling as to which direction this conversation is going to go, but if I'm going to die that's the least he can do.
"My family and I are leaving. We all decided that we couldn't risk our reputations by being associated with the resident freak whose own mother didn't want her." I feel my heart crack as his words destroy what little self-esteem I had left. I thought Alice, Emmett, and maybe Esme still loved me…...what happened?
"Edward…..I know you're not happy with me, but please don't do this." I cry softly as I will my tears not to fall. I know my pleas are falling on deaf ears. He's not going to change his mind because he's just as cold as my mother.
"Are you begging now Bella? Is that what you used to do when your mommy would beat you? You know when you first told me about Renee I hated her guts for ever laying a finger on you, but now I can see why. You're just such a fucking disappointment to everybody that crosses your pathetic path." I clench my hands at my side as his words tear into me. I don't even have any words to defend myself because what he's saying is probably true.
"Surely you don't mean that Edward. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but I was afraid! I'm sure you can understand that. Isn't that why you didn't tell me about you being a vampire?" I watch as Edward advances on me slowly. I quickly realize that this is probably the end for me and I can't say I'm surprised really.
"Don't you dare compare me to you! I'm a monster by nurture, but you're a freak by nature. Now Bella I want you to remember that nobody is going to ever truly love a freak like you. I was the best you were going to get seeing as how I'm unfortunately your mate, but not even I can continue to deal with that so I'm going to deal with you. Permanently….." I close my eyes as I see him cock his fist back. So this is how it ends…..
I've been alive for over two centuries and that already feels way too long to me. I truly do love being a part of the Elite Volturi guard because regardless of what outsiders say we're like a family. It's just that I'm the only member without their mate and it's hard watching them all be happy when I'm not.
My whole life I've only truly had Alec by my side and now that he's met Heidi I realize that I don't even have him anymore. Over time I thought I could grow into being okay with that, but as time continues I just feel more and more alone.
Honestly I've seriously considered going to the Kings and Queens to ask them to end my existence, but I know that would not only hurt them but the rest of the guard. Unfortunately not even I am that selfish, but I wish I was.
I'm pulled out of my pitiful thoughts by a gentle knock on my door. I know without using any of my vampire senses that it's Alec. "Leave me alone Alec. I'm not in the mood to talk right now."
"Then it's a good thing I'm not here to talk then isn't it?" I swear I could just slap him sometimes. He's such a smartass. "Master Aro wishes for us to take a trip to Forks. He says that he received a tip that the Cullen's are planning on leaving their human pet and we are to go retrieve her. We leave in 30." Alec says as he then leaves to prepare for our journey.
I don't know why Aro continues to allow the Cullen's to do as they please. How can they just expose us to a human and then leave her alive? They know that's against our laws, yet they blatantly disregarded them simply because they feel like it. I growl louder at the thought of being forced to clean up the mess that the Cullen's left behind. This is absolutely ridiculous! I quickly grab my Volturi robe before heading out to meet Alec.
"Are you ready to leave dear sister?" Alec asks as we both get into guard mode for our journey to the plane.
"No, but it's not like I really have a choice do I? This better not take long I have better things to do than clean up after the Cullen's like I'm their mother." I growl softly. This mission is stupid and pointless. The Cullen's should know how to clean up their own messes by now.
In no time Alec and I have boarded the Volturi's private jet and await take off. I settle on one of the couches and begin to let my thoughts drift, but again Alec interrupts me.
"Jane are you okay? You have been rather off these last few days. We are all concerned that you're thoughts are turning darker than usual." Alec asks me in genuine concern.
"In all honesty no I'm not okay. I'm the only member of the Elite guard without a mate and it's becoming rather frustrating and it's making me feel extremely lonely. Our masters have their mates, you have Heidi, and Felix has Demetri. I have to stand by and watch all of you be happy while I am alone and miserable." I say with a bitter tone as the jet takes off.
"I can't apologize for finding my mate, but I am sorry that you feel so alone Jane. None of us ever intended for that to happen." Alec says trying to sound sympathetic.
"I know none of you did, but that doesn't change how I feel. Day in and day out I have to watch all of you rub your relationships in my face and I'm just tired of it at this point." I sigh as I take my hair out of its standard bun.
"Jane, I realize this is a bit out of the norm for both of us, but just this once can you try to stay positive and hold out hope that you will find your mate. They may be coming sooner than you think." Alec says with almost a knowing smile that makes me suspicious of his advice.
"You and I both know that staying positive has never worked in our favor so why would I start now? That's like setting myself up for disappointment, and I don't need any more of that right now thank you." I growl as I cross my arms and close my eyes hoping Alec leaves me alone for the rest of the flight.
"I know that Jane, but just this once try, if only for me." He says softly as he finally stops talking. I guess for him I can try this one time.
I decide not to respond and instead nod silently as I lie down on the couch and think about what Alec has said for the rest of the flight. I really do hope he's right. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this loneliness without losing my mind…..more than I already have.
Luckily my thoughts occupy my mind for the rest of the flight. We land in Seattle and quickly run to Forks. I really hope this doesn't take too long, I'd rather wallow in my own misery in the comfort of my room, and away from prying eyes.
As we cross into the Cullen's current hometown, Forks, I catch the most amazing scent that i've ever encountered. I just can't seem to ignore. It's like my entire being is drawn to this magnificent smell. I close my eyes as I blindly follow where this scent takes me.
"Jane, where are you going?" I completely ignore Alec as I continue to run, allowing the feeling in my heart guide my way.
I come to stop in the middle of the woods and look around. I spot a figure lying on the forest floor, curled up in a ball and whimpering softly. I quickly walk over and crouch down beside her. I can hear her pulse starting to fall to dangerously low levels and that thought alone breaks my heart.
I notice that she's mumbling something. I fight through my sadness to listen. "Please let me die…" She whimpers around a shiver of pain and she starts coughing up blood.
"Alec!" I shout in a panic. I can't just let her die. "What do I do?! I can't let her die!" I scream as I look between him and her wishing for the first time ever that I could cry.
"If you think she's your mate then you know what you have to do. She won't survive her injuries if you don't." I nod silently as I lean down close to her neck.
"I'm sorry, but I just found you. I can't lose you already." I whisper in her ear as I look down and see a bite mark on her jugular. I growl softly as I bite over the mark pushing as much venom as I possibly can into her system. I quickly grab both her wrists and urgently do the same.
So this chapter was really hard for me to write….I don't believe in child abuse or faulting a child for being born with unusual anatomy. Trust me if we could choose out anatomy I would have chosen to be born a boy because periods suck! Sorry trying to lighten my mood.